A Quick Note on Brother Brett

Quick. Does anyone know a single person who is so dedicated to the goals of a national political party that they would willingly place themselves between a rabid, violent mob of anti-abortion zealots and their holy grail? The idea that Dr. Blasey has fabricated her accusation simply to further the goals of the DNC — in spite of the catastrophic consequences to herself, her career, and her family — is absolutely fucking ridiculous.

But about ol’ Brett.

To sum up yesterday’s performance by the Phil Hendrie character who has been nominated to the Supreme Court:

I came away knowing four things about Brett: he played some serious JV ball, he’ll rape anyone he wants to and kick anyone’s ass who dares to mention it, he wants to see the goddamn manager immediately, and the boy fucking loves beer.

I mean, for real. If you took a shot of beer every time Kavanaugh expressed his enthusiasm for drinking beer during that hearing, you would have been as wasted by 4 PM as he was when he tried to rape Dr. Blasey.

It almost doesn’t matter how credible Dr. Blasey’s testimony was (extremely); Kavanaugh demonstrated yesterday that he isn’t intellectually or temperamentally qualified to make a decision about anything save a fantasy football draft.

Brett is an unhinged, wrathful sports hick who is most definitely a rapist (and likely a serial one) and lacks the judiciousness required of an ATV salesman. He delivered his opening statement with the acuity, spittle, and panache of a shitfaced wrestler. Ron “Tater Salad” White — with zero preparation or prior knowledge of the details of the case — could have responded on Kavanaugh’s behalf to the questioning he faced with more grace and eloquence than he did. He either didn’t bother to prepare for questioning at all — in which case he’s winning an unwarranted arrogance contest with Tekashi 6ix9ine — or he did and he’s just a fucking belligerent dunce.

What’s surprising isn’t that Donald Trump nominated this middle-aged frat try-hard or that the contemporary GOP plans to follow him straight to hell. It isn’t even surprising that he managed to wend his way through Yale Law and onto a federal bench (the boys’ club is real). What’s truly shocking is that, after that performance, there remains a single person who can think of him as anything other than the peewee football coach you wouldn’t allow your kid to play for.

I don’t know where this guy belongs, but it’s closer to angrily slamming 32-oz mugs of Pacifico by himself at a corner table at the bar of a Ruby Tuesday than it is to a Supreme Court seat.

I could go on for a few thousand more words, but it’ll have to wait.

7 thoughts on “A Quick Note on Brother Brett

  1. Brava Brava! You rock so hard. Thank you for another Word Ninja-ing, Cunning Linguist ASSASSINATION summarizing the comedy/tragedy of this colonist horror show, Act 89, Scene 735. We desperately need the searing, brilliant hilarity you inject into this waking nightmare that the colonists call “civilization.” Much Love to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent! Excellent! And this dude is supposed to be intelligent. I saw no evidence of said intelligence, just an alcoholic, whiny, self-pitying, aggressive dudebro. (I couldn’t believe him questioning the senators on their drinking habits — dudebro needs a mouth filter.) Nafeez Ahmed wrote a great analysis of why ol’ boy Brett is so important to the powers-that-be:

    View at Medium.com

    Liked by 3 people

    1. There is SO MUCH to say about where this guy fits into the current political culture and the threads that came together over a decade or more to create this spectacle, but I’ll need time to write that one (I wrote this on a bus).

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Wow, I am impressed by the writing you manage to do on a bus! “the peewee football coach you wouldn’t allow your kid to play for” is superb. What truly bothers me is people’s inability to see through this dude’s extremely transparent façade (what façade?). It’s to be expected that his kind see him as one of their own, but women who can’t see this man for what he is — I would be very concerned for their safety and well-being if they weren’t being complicit in male violence.

        Liked by 4 people

  3. Even if Kavanaugh was innocent of the action he was accused of, he was fucking weak on the stand. He sounded like “people skills guy” in Office Space. Nobody that brittle should get to affect the lives of so many people.

    Liked by 1 person

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