Jesus Christ. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Ever.

What in the FUCK can this possibly mean? I’ve about exhausted my mental capacities trying to figure it out and have come up with almost nothing aside from a few unfathomably stupid possibilities:

  • I worship porn
  • I think porn is cooler than Jesus or evolution
  • Follow me to the porn
  • Porn is my religion
  • I’m so into porn that I can’t find enough ways to let people know
  • I’m equally into porn and seafood
  • I’m really into porn starring members of the band Phish
  • I’m into porn involving fish

What kind of person picks out an item like this and affixes it to their vehicle? Among all the bumper stickers and decals in the world, someone thought this one said more of what he wants to communicate to the world than any other. He liked this better than a Buckcherry sticker. He thought this was wittier than a “Bad Cop, No Donut” decal. He was feeling this more than a decal of Calvin pissing on the logo for whatever brand of car he doesn’t drive. He even went for this over a set of Trucknutz.

And, leaving the purchaser aside, let’s not forget that someone made this thing. Someone had to dream this up, think it was so fucking awesome that he just had to share it, make a mock-up, pass it by a few people, and tool a machine to make it. At no point was he dissuaded. Right now, someone is either profiting on this item or, worse, willing to operate at a wash or a loss because they so desperately want to put this message out there.

Seriously, someone help me. What can this mean? It’s a mystery to rival figuring out why people think Adam Corolla is the international spokesman for manhood.


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13 thoughts on “Jesus Christ. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen. Ever.

  1. Possibility #1
    I guess you have to figure that if people who call themselves Christian have no problem with torture, some of them are bound to embrace porn as well. They are basically the same thing.
    So the symbol means Christian who uses porn and wants the world to know it.
    #2
    Alternately he may be saying that Christianity is torture porn, which if you rely on Mel Gibson’s movie as your source, is a reasonably accurate statement.

  2. I think it means “I don’t want to have sex with, date, or speak to real a woman, Christian or otherwise, ever.”

  3. Surely the message is “I’m going to show off how cool and edgy I am by mocking Christians; they’re all uptight and anti-porn, so I’ll put ‘porn’ inside one of their symbols.” No doubt the fact that porn is in itself a popular pseudo-edgy interest contributes to the choice.

  4. I think it just symbolizes Christianity for what it is – utter hypocrisy. It doesn’t bother me any more then the actually religion does, so meh.

  5. According to what I’ve read, back in the day – when they actually WERE being persecuted – Christians used to draw the jeebus fish in the dirt or discreetely on their homes to show other Christians that they weren’t alone, and as an invitation for prayer.

    Clearly this fish is meant to say “Hey man, I view chicks as objects too, this is my incredibly witty way of saying it, wanna come over for a circle jerk later?”

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