Why, oh why, did I ever write about butthole bleaching?

6 Jul

And why am I typing these words again? My latest/most frequent search engine terms:

  • pink butt hole
  • pics of womens well used buttholes
  • butthole bleaching
  • bleached butthole pics
  • should women shave butthole
  • how to make your butthole sexy
  • butthole waxing in denver
  • anal sex chine (What the fuck is a chine? I get more people searching for that word than just about anything. Could it really be a bunch of typos?)
  • dirty female butthole pics
  • their buttholes (Whose buttholes?)
  • how do i bleach my butthole (Instructions are here somewhere. Keep reading.)

Jesus Christ. Luckily there are people getting to my page who aren’t looking for butthole bleaching emporiums:

  • fuck fat women (Is that a statement of opinion or an order?)
  • tila tequila having sex
  • kid girls sex fashion xx (Whoa. What?)
  • bratz having sex (Do they do anything else?)
  • fuck me baby song (The new Britney Spears jam?)
  • too young to fuck (A Dead Kennedys parody?)
  • just about boys ejaculating onto the wall (Where is the rest of this story? It sounds funny.)
  • bill maher feminism (Is this a new name for sex-positivism? I’m using this one.)
  • dealing with anime fans (It isn’t possible.)
  • cunt rage (I have no idea about this one, but it’s kind of fun to try to figure out.)

The rest of them were about Diablo Cody and porn. I’m changing the world, one weirdo at a time.


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22 Responses to “Why, oh why, did I ever write about butthole bleaching?”

  1. Black Thirteen July 6, 2008 at 11:30 PM #

    “fuck fat women (Is that a statement of opinion or an order?)”

    I’m not sure what it is about this that does it, but it makes me snicker.

    “dealing with anime fans (It isn’t possible.)”

    Also, bite me. I occasionally watch anime. :P

  2. hellonhairylegs July 7, 2008 at 12:37 AM #

    And I thought I had it bad that people keep searching for hairy legged pron. I also didn’t want to know how some people thought of Hillary Clinton. The internet is a strange strange place.

  3. Mr Flibberly July 7, 2008 at 1:18 AM #

    Where are getting your referral terms from?

    Lots of sites will provide referral terms but list them in an order that provides their best demographic i.e. click throughs…

    So for *their own monetary interests* they send you *porno click throughs* hoping they’ll hit somewhere good…

  4. Claire (CJ) July 7, 2008 at 6:07 AM #

    YUCK.

    Some serious sickos out there.

    My boyfriend watches anime. I don’t get it either, and none of his explanations as to why it holds his interest make any sense to me (though the hairstyles are cool :)). But to each their own, I guess.

  5. crankosaur July 7, 2008 at 1:18 PM #

    Ha, I’ve been getting a lot of searches for stuff like “old lady rape” and “rape she loved it”. I’m sure there will only be more like that as time goes on.

  6. Sally July 7, 2008 at 3:02 PM #

    “kid girls sex fashion xx”……. That sounds horrifically 4chanish.

    And not all anime is bad, some of it’s pretty awesome. I always recommend Studio Gibli films as an alternative to Disney(mainly because I hate disney and the way it programs young girls into thinking a wedding is the ultimate thing to hope for and such), odly they’re a heck of a lot less sexist and just generally great to watch.

  7. Genevieve July 7, 2008 at 5:08 PM #

    Sally–
    Or what about Hayao Miyazaki? He’s had some pretty cool female protagonists in his work.

  8. Sally July 7, 2008 at 5:48 PM #

    All his work is made by studio Gibli I think, or distributed, or something like that. I was just going to say him but then I remembered studio Gibli also has classics like Grave of The Fireflies and such. But Princess Mononoke is definitely my favourite of Myazaki’s work, her character was just so perfectly executed…. But yeah, I’ll stop spamming up ND’s post now :P

  9. Nine Deuce July 7, 2008 at 6:15 PM #

    I’ve actually seen Princess Mononoke. I like the little guys whose heads spin.

  10. Dan July 7, 2008 at 9:14 PM #

    Yeah that movie was the best bit of anime I’ve seen, and because of the company I keep I’ve seen quite a bit.

  11. psych July 8, 2008 at 6:01 AM #

    I’m famous! The “bill maher feminism” one was me. I was trying to find feminist blogs talking about Bill Maher and analyzing his statements.

  12. Nine Deuce July 8, 2008 at 4:26 PM #

    Maybe I need to get on that. I hate Bill Maher more than just about anyone on the planet.

  13. psych July 8, 2008 at 4:46 PM #

    Oh, please do. I would love to read such a post.

  14. Sally July 8, 2008 at 6:45 PM #

    *googles Bill Maher*…..*finds nothing for him to be hated*

    Being a girl hailing from england I’m not really up to date with my american comedy satirists, what’d he do to annoy you guys?

  15. Claire (CJ) July 8, 2008 at 7:52 PM #

    Basically, he’s a misogynistic asshole.

    Which makes me all the more irritated I used to enjoy his comedy.

  16. Nine Deuce July 8, 2008 at 7:59 PM #

    He’s not only the embodiment of Hugh Hefner liberalism (read: left-wing dudes who reserve the right to use women like toilet paper and act like misogynistic shitbags at all times), but he might be the least funny comedian on TV right now. I am not kidding, the guy tells Lewinsky jokes in 2008.

  17. Sally July 8, 2008 at 8:24 PM #

    Ah, sounds like a tool. I think I hate the people like that more then I hate the right-wing style bullshit. Like, it’s horrible to mistreat animals and homophobia is so clearly wrong, but women? They’re here to be treated like a set of holes and don’t deserve our respect.

    And I totally hate how comedians get away with saying the most absurdly sexist things, because it’s meant to be funny. We have this dude called Jimmy Carr over here, and he does this show which looks at ads and he makes jokes about them and bla bla bla and he was making sexist and indeterministic jokes all the way through and then he had this section on adverts which use fat people in, and the first bit was dissin’ obese women, and then the second bit was dissin’ obese men, but he thought that was mean and went back to being a dick about “fat chicks”, and the audience laughed. It was just so pathetic and it makes me so angry that guys can say that shit on TV.

  18. Maggie Hays July 8, 2008 at 11:12 PM #

    My latest/most frequent search engine terms

    What kind of sick fucks look for these things on your website? The men who use pornography, of course! :P

  19. James July 10, 2008 at 1:13 AM #

    Sally! I saw an episode of that the other night too. HE IS SO ANNOYING. What was one of the ones that killed me? “Those videos were black and white and depicted women as inferior. Well these ones are different. They’re in colour.” I saw that one coming like a train full of sexist wankers, wanker. Comedic genius.

    Computer in same room as family TV = arghs forever.

  20. Amananta July 17, 2008 at 7:18 PM #

    Since I write about abuse of children and violence against women, sexual and otherwise, I get long lists of search terms like “raping screaming 13 year olds”. These make up the primary search terms by which my blog is found. It’s… eye opening. Or something.

  21. Screaming Lemur July 21, 2008 at 2:02 AM #

    Guess I’m a n00b but how does one find out what search terms people used to find your blog? Is there a program? *confused*

  22. munkie June 13, 2010 at 9:41 PM #

    Amananta-that’s so sad.

    If I knew anything about software, I’d crash these sicko’s computers with a nice long list of their google searches permanently scribed across their screens.

    I’d also like to forward the list to every contact–family, personal, and business–on their computer.

    It would be nice if we could gather information on these wanna-be pedophiles on a website. I’m sure most of them assume they’re completely anonymous on the internet.

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