SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!

11 Jun

I’m pretty much all about sex-neutral feminism, but I’m going to take a break from taking online “how emo are you?” (not very) quizzes to talk about sex now anyway. As much as I hate the fact that “sex-positive” “feminists” have nearly succeeded in reducing the feminist movement to arguing over whether waxing one’s pubes is or is not a revolutionary act, I do have to admit that sex plays a large role in my view of feminism, if only because it lies at the center of a large majority of the most visible forms of oppression that women face. That is not to say that I think that rape, pornography, sexual harassment, or objectification are about sex — I know they are just as much, and usually more, about power as they are about sex — but it does mean that I think sex needs to be talked about, a lot.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about his views on infidelity, and he told me that making out with people didn’t count, that it was intercourse that was out of bounds. This struck me as very strange.  I mean, I know that having sex with people outside of a supposedly monogamous relationship carries the risk that the offender will bring various cooties back to his partner, but is that all that matters? I’m pretty sure that most people’s problem with infidelity is the idea of their partner being intimate with someone outside the relationship, which would include even the mildest of make-outery, would it not? I realize that plenty of people have drawn this distinction in order to ease their own consciences, but what can that thin line between third and fourth base tell us about our culture’s view of human sexuality?

I’ve been thinking here and there about how sex is defined and imagined in our society since my first disappointing experiences with dudes, but a comment from reader M (who likes Panic at the Disco, which I will forgive since she brought up a good point) on one of my posts on porn has planted the subject into whatever part of my brain my thoughts on feminism hang out in, where it’s been mingling and making friends. When I heard this dude’s Joe Rogan-esque demarcation of the line between harmless tomfoolery and cheating, I decided the time had come to address this topic.

I know I’m not exactly blowing the lid off of anything huge or shocking the hell out of everyone by saying this, but sex in our society is defined by men. That means a lot of things for women, most of which are pretty uncool. Actually, it means a lot of things for men, too, and a lot of those are also uncool.

“Sex,” in the sense that we commonly use the term, refers to the act of intercourse. That means that our colloquial (read: widespread, common, main, chief, primary) definition of “sex” is “the act through which men reach orgasm,” and that whatever comes before intercourse is not sex, but rather “foreplay.” Since a very, very small percentage of women reach orgasm through intercourse alone, that means that women’s sexuality and pleasure is not a part of sex, but is rather a side dish. (And that completely leaves aside the issue of whether orgasm, male or female, ought to be considered the sole and ultimate goal of all sexual activity.) Sex starts at penetration and no earlier, and it ends at ejaculation and no later, because that’s how it works for men. Everything else is women’s stuff, and we all know that means it’s of little to no significance.

Well, that’s fucking stupid. Men, in a big hurry to get to the point, to close the deal, to score, are missing the fuck out.

Everyone knows how sex works for men because we’re bombarded daily with sexual images and narratives that center on the path to male orgasm, but what do we know about women’s sexuality? We know a bunch of bullshit generalizations, that women purportedly like wine, candles, flowers, incense, and Whitney Houston (no thanks on all counts), but what do we really know about female sexuality? Female sexuality, according to our popular culture, is wrapped up so tightly with male sexuality that the two are inextricable. In fact, the common picture of female sexuality is one that is completely dependent on and subservient to male sexuality. And that picture doesn’t just exist as some kind of fantasy that men have created, but rather has been absorbed by women and has actually come to dominate women’s own sexual identities. Women, as I’ve discussed before, have been trained by popular media to see themselves as if through the eyes of an onlooker, to derive their arousal and pleasure from their ability to excite their partners. In such a scenario, women don’t have the opportunity to find out what their “natural” sexuality might look like, because it’s been sublimated, it’s been erased and replaced by male fantasies turned inward.

So what does that mean in real life? Instead of learning what kinds of things appeal to them, women learn what kinds of things appeal to men. Instead of learning about how their own bodies work, women learn how to use their bodies to titillate. Many women, especially young ones, engage in completely unfulfilling sexual encounters, not knowing that there is more to sex than male orgasm or, knowing that there is, being afraid to ask for more. Even those women who have figured out how to incorporate their own pleasure into their sexual encounters still labor under the dominant narrative of what sex is, and often feel pressure to hurry up and get their silly business over with so that the “sex” can commence.

One might argue that, as long as both parties get to their final destination, it doesn’t matter what terms we use to refer to the different parts of the journey, but it does matter. It matters because we live in a male-centric culture in which the default human identity is male, and in which women are not afforded the same measure of humanity that men are. When sex is defined as intercourse, and when the completion of the act is synonymous with ejaculation, men control sex, and women’s sexuality disappears completely, or is acknowledged only if men choose to do so. Women in our society are considered adjuncts to men, and such a view forces women to conform their sexuality to that of men. It takes an abnormally self-aware and thoughtful dude to take full account of female sexuality, and I’m therefore not very comfortable leaving the definition of sex up to men.

It isn’t just because women’s ability to get off is at stake that I’d rather not leave the delineation of what sex is and isn’t up to men, it’s also because I’m more than a little concerned at what men have come up with since they’ve been in charge of defining and elaborating on what sex means. Sex cannot be divorced from gender relations; the dynamic between men and women in this culture is hostile and sick, and it’s just getting worse.

We’re in a downward spiral (it’s Trent Reznor week here at RATM). Men feel threatened right now. The gains women have made socially, politically, and economically scare men who believe that women’s equality can come only at men’s expense. They don’t want to lose the power over women that our culture has told them is their birthright, and the anxiety that women’s social gains cause in such men expresses itself in their degrading, and often violent, misogynistic fantasies. See advertising, entertainment media, strip clubs, and porn if you need some examples of what I’m talking about. It’s hard to come away from any of these with any impression other than that men, threatened by the loss of their privilege, are attempting to put us back in our place, and that they are doing so in the most sinister of possible ways.

I often attempt to recreate for myself the instinctive, subconscious processes in the minds of men who go in for the objectification and degradation of women, and it goes a little something like this: “I feel like my economic and social position is precarious, and I feel powerless in the face of the men I see as my superiors and the institutions they have created. I’m supposed to be above women in the social hierarchy, but they are getting too close to me, they are threatening to take the things I thought were mine. I’m afraid, and so I am angry at the people who are making me afraid. But I need women in order to fulfill the most essential of my biological desires, and I also need them in order to have a full life, according to the ideal that my culture has set up for me. I want women, I desire women, but I can’t have them unless they will allow me to. I am angry at them for not wanting me, and I hate them for making me afraid that I’m losing my tenuous grip on my rung of the ladder.” Is there anywhere for that train of thought to lead but to Max Hardcore’s house?

As pornography infiltrates mainstream culture to a greater and greater extent, women’s sexuality, which has always been constricted and defined by men, is being forced into ever more painful contortions. As weird as some of the things I’ve seen in my life have been, thank fucking Christ I’m not a teenager right now. Every time I read about the way young people approach sex I get terrified. It seems everywhere I turn I read some heinous anecdote or survey in which I have to hear about the horrific things young women are putting up with, or about the disgusting and degrading things young men “expect” (fuck you) out of their partners. Men who’ve grown up watching internet porn don’t seem to think it unreasonable to ask their partners to allow them to ejaculate on them, don’t think there’s anything wrong with demanding that someone “do anal,” don’t know why their girlfriends might not enjoy being called “bitch” or “whore” during sex. (It really makes me wish that lesbians wrote books and put on camps that could train people to go queer, kind of like the ones the JC lovers put on claiming to “teach” people how not to be.)

Why would we elect to let people who hate us dictate our sexual identities to us? Why would we rely on people with such dim views of our humanity to treat us with dignity, respect, and care? Why don’t we decide for ourselves what sex is and should be, and tell these motherfuckers to get on board or get to wanking?

Fuck, now that I think about it, why would men even buy into such a limiting and dehumanizing picture of sexuality? I know that power is seductive, but it’s a pretty bad trade-off for men when they don’t actually gain any power in any real sense, and when they lose so much of their ability to experience the best things sexuality has to offer in the process.

Leaving aside the degradation of and violence to the human spirit that is pornography, our more mainstream cultural pictures of male and female sexuality are still pretty fucking stupid (though they are, of course, heavily influenced by and have a heavy influence on porn). Human sexuality isn’t a simple matter of “women want love, men just want to fuck.” That, despite the pseudo-scientific bullshit pumped out by our media that would have us believe otherwise, is not the “natural” or “instinctive” state of human sexuality, but rather the creation of the commingling of sexuality and power that characterizes our current sexual milieu.

I’d like any dude who reads this to ask himself if fucking random strangers is really as fulfilling as Entourage makes it look. It’s made out to be pretty fucking exciting, but it can’t live up to its promise and is really a poor substitute for what human sexuality has to offer. It’s dangerous, awkward, embarrassing, dehumanizing, and completely deadening, even to those who have an easy time of getting strangers to get naked. Fucking is the realm of those with huge ego problems and insecurities, and it’s disappointing to me to see women latching onto the practice as an ill-conceived attempt to clamber toward some kind of equality with men.

Now, I am not saying that women ought to face censure for their sexual behavior. I’m not saying women ought not to be as free as men are to have sex with whomever they choose, whenever and however they choose. What I am saying is that men, inasmuch as they’ve come to view sex as a tool of domination, have lost a key part of human sexuality that women still possess for the most part. Without sinking into gender essentialism, I think it’s safe to say that women, in general terms, have retained the most desirable elements of human sexuality because we haven’t gotten sex mixed up with power to the same extent men have. We ought not to be in a big hurry to toss that away. Equality doesn’t necessarily derive from imitation; no matter how much we emulate men’s piggish sexual behaviors, they still hold the power in our society. Fulfilling male fantasies might get us some short-lived attention and might allow us to manipulate individual men for a few hours or days at a time, but it amounts to dick in the long run, and it robs us of the best of what human sexuality has to offer.

I don’t mean to sound like a fruitcake, but humans have some pretty unique and important abilities when it comes to sex. We can empathize, we can love, and we can reach levels of emotional understanding through sex that pigs can’t. We should be exploring those abilities rather than suppressing them so we can be more like men, and men ought to be asking women how sex should be done instead of telling us.


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26 Responses to “SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX!”

  1. C June 11, 2008 at 4:14 PM #

    Really great post again. and speaking of fucked up shit teenagers see, if I have to walk down the halls of my school and see shirts that say “Swallow or it goes in your eye” someone’s going to get my spit in their eye. Also speaking of sex, the other day me and my friend’s saw this movie called “Teeth”, there’s some fucked up shit there, just wondering if you’ve seen it, and if you haven’t I’d recommend it if you’re not too busy. Tell me what you think.

  2. Nine Deuce June 11, 2008 at 4:48 PM #

    I’ve heard of that movie. It sounds kind of crazy. Is it actually good?

  3. C June 11, 2008 at 5:07 PM #

    It is really crazy but I think it’s a must see for anyone who calls themselves a feminist, me and my friend’s were laughing our asses off the whole movie, which makes us sound kind of sick, but yeah, really good.

  4. Nine Deuce June 11, 2008 at 5:13 PM #

    Wait a minute – people wear shirts like that at your school? Where do you go to school, Larry Flynt’s house?

  5. Windstorm June 11, 2008 at 6:28 PM #

    “Equality doesn’t necessarily derive from imitation…” N.D.

    Well said. Excellent post.

    ~ Suzann

  6. lindabeth June 11, 2008 at 8:08 PM #

    Really really good. What you said encapsulated many of my own thoughts and feelings.

    Female sexuality, according to our popular culture, is wrapped up so tightly with male sexuality that the two are inextricable.

    Yes! And I get really irritated when people think they’re enjoying porn because they enjoy “female sexuality.” Well, 99% of porn is a version of female sexuality according to men and what they want to see, not what most women actually do or like or need. And Double ditto for “lesbian” porn (really girl-on-girl, there’s few lesbians there!), which has nothing to do with het men enjoying lesbian sexuality.

  7. sam June 11, 2008 at 9:18 PM #

    Darn good writing that was a pleasure to read. Thanks.

  8. Konservo June 11, 2008 at 11:30 PM #

    Sex starts at penetration and no earlier, and it ends at ejaculation and no later, because that’s how it works for men.

    Not necessarily. I think you’re making some generalizations in this post that, overall, hurt the argument. With out going into detail, for one day I might share this blog with the woman I love, I can say that sex, for us, is about love, fun, and being together (we’re not trying to have a kid). Our female/male orgasm ratio might surprise you.

    in which women are not afforded the same measure of humanity that men are.

    I know it’s one of the major premises of this blog, but still, this seems rather hyperbolic.

    When sex is defined as intercourse

    Well, “sex” is frequently used as a sort of short-hand/slang for the longer phrase “sexual intercourse.” However, it’s true, that even as defined as intercourse, which is descriptive of a physical act, there is an emotional element that plays an important role in healthy sex. Mutual respect between lovers is crucial for this emotional aspect of healthy intercourse, and, obviously, porn and prostitution are (presumably) not about respect.

    It really makes me wish that lesbians wrote books and put on camps that could train people to go queer, kind of like the ones the JC lovers put on claiming to “teach” people how not to be.

    After all, the Bible says: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a brainwashing for a brainwashing”

    What I am saying is that men, inasmuch as they’ve come to view sex as a tool of domination, have lost a key part of human sexuality that women still possess for the most part. Without sinking into gender essentialism, I think it’s safe to say that women, in general terms, have retained the most desirable elements of human sexuality because we haven’t gotten sex mixed up with power to the same extent men have.

    You’ve not explained what it is that men have lost and women have retained. You’ve said that many men have an outlook which sees sex as an act of power that women, for the most, do not share, however, you don’t explain what you call “the most desirable elements of human sexuality.”

    Your point still stands about the way some people see sex as an act of domination or a display of power. I’m just curious about the nature of those elements that, according to your view, men have lost.

  9. Nine Deuce June 11, 2008 at 11:38 PM #

    I am aware that exceptions to what I am talking about exist, but I do not back away from the claim that sex is commonly conceived of as the act that leads to male orgasm.

    My argument that women are not afforded the same measure of humanity as men is not hyperbloic in any way. The default “human” identity is a male one, and always has been. See language (man, mankind, etc.), religion, sex, and basically every fucking thing in the world for examples of men being taken as being human, and women being taken as a variation on human that is much easier to essentialize, to reduce to the purported characteristics that differentiate them from man.

    The bit about lesbian training camps was a joke. I don’t believe one can decide to be one way or the other, otherwise I would already have jumped ship.

    Many men have lost the ability to experience all that human sexuality offers in the way of human connection and empathy because sex has become more about conquest and sating urges (instinctive and ego-related) than about connection. Women, inasmuch as they have yet to adopt such a destructive attitude toward sex, have lost comparatively less of that capacity.

    • Sugarpuss December 4, 2013 at 10:00 PM #

      I don’t believe one can decide to be one way or the other, otherwise I would already have jumped ship.

      This. Sometimes, I really hate myself for being straight. I don’t want to be, but that’s just the way my brain functions. It’s a purely physical attraction though, and it only applies to a few, very specific types of males. Otherwise I’m asexual. But I get really annoyed when some people imply that sexuality can be changed and that we can simply switch teams. Um, not gonna happen over here. If someone can do that, I’d suspect that they were probably in the closet from the get-go. I’m very anatomy-focused, and I think it’s safe to say that most women’s bodies look nothing like a large, muscular, athletic male’s body. And that’s what I’m attracted to, unfortunately.

      PS Yes, I realize this was posted many years ago, but I just discovered it so it’s new to me. :D

  10. Not a Whisper June 12, 2008 at 11:30 AM #

    This post = jackpot. I prostrate myself before you worshipfully, as before.

  11. RadFemHedonist June 15, 2008 at 1:11 PM #

    Well I always tell people that you can masturbate and treat others in a non-exploitative manner, sexually and otherwise. I agree that a lot of people describe sex as “that which leads to orgasm for men”, and that’s really a problem, I tend to use the term “sexual activity” which really encompasses everything sexual involving more than one person. I recognize that orgasm doesn’t have to be wanted, but they should be an option, if both parties want it (or the one individual involved if there is only one). It’s noticeable at the college I go to that there isn’t really any discussion of female sexual pleasure (as opposed to male sexual pleasure), the only person I’ve even talked to about it has a hetnorm worldview.

  12. Dan June 21, 2008 at 11:27 PM #

    It goes further than you touched upon. A good number of women, when passed the baton and given the opportunity to express their sexuality freely, will forfeit it to the male. Initially I had many a frustrating time asking my girlfriend what she would like, because her usual response was “whatever you’d like”, which would lead us to a rather circular argument. I’m under the impression this is not too uncommon in society.

  13. RenegadeEvolution December 3, 2008 at 11:41 PM #

    “Why don’t we decide for ourselves what sex is and should be”

    I agree. 100%. However, that’s going to be different from woman to woman.

    “It’s made out to be pretty fucking exciting, but it can’t live up to its promise and is really a poor substitute for what human sexuality has to offer. It’s dangerous, awkward, embarrassing, dehumanizing, and completely deadening, even to those who have an easy time of getting strangers to get naked. Fucking is the realm of those with huge ego problems and insecurities, and it’s disappointing to me to see women latching onto the practice as an ill-conceived attempt to clamber toward some kind of equality with men.’

    You know, I’m starting to take the whole “ego problems” line as a compliment from you folk…along with “man”, “sadist”, and “sociopath”. Now, you may have decided that casual sex/ random fucking is not for you…that may not be “your sex”, but why assume that other women are going to be the same way? We’re a pretty varied lot, and personally I’d like to see all of us doing what works for us…even if that, like us, is widely varied.

  14. Trinity December 4, 2008 at 3:07 AM #

    “Our female/male orgasm ratio might surprise you.”

    Same here, but then I am a BDSMer, so I’m sure there’s some reason why it’s THE PATRIARCHEE! making me have all those awful, awful orgasms, and I just have been too busy coming to figure out what it was. :)

  15. John December 8, 2008 at 7:44 PM #

    I’ve just started working on a series of papers about the socialization of men in the United States. I consider myself a feminist (or pro-feminist to those who don’t believe men can be feminist I don’t really care), and am writing these papers so that I can better understand how men are socialized into maintaining the patriarchy, rather than assuming that this process is “instinctual” as you have called it.
    Throughout my research I have come to a different conclusion of the thought process of those who follow the hegemonic masculinity, meaning dominant form of masculinity, in the U.S. And it’s a little scarier than your assumption because in your assumption you give women to much credit. So here is my breakdown:

    ““I feel like my economic and social position is precarious, and I feel powerless in the face of the men I see as my superiors and the institutions they have created.”
    This is pretty accurate.

    “I’m supposed to be above women in the social hierarchy, but they are getting too close to me, they are threatening to take the things I thought were mine.”

    This one should read more like, “I’m supposed to be above the men who are above me, so maybe by accumulating women I can show them how powerful I am. If I let women get to close my male superiors (or inferiors) will think I’m not manly. ”

    I’m afraid, and so I am angry at the people who are making me afraid.

    This one should read more like, “I’m afraid, but I can’t show fear otherwise my male superiors (or inferiors) might think I’m weak, so I will channel my emotions into anger because at least I can express anger without seeming unmanly.”

    “But I need women in order to fulfill the most essential of my biological desires, and I also need them in order to have a full life, according to the ideal that my culture has set up for me. I want women, I desire women, but I can’t have them unless they will allow me to.”

    This should read more like, “I want to have an intimate connection with people, but I can’t because then people will think I’m weak. So I have to desire women, so that my male superiors and inferiors don’t think I’m gay. If they don’t like me, everyone will think I’m gay.”

    I am angry at them for not wanting me, and I hate them for making me afraid that I’m losing my tenuous grip on my rung of the ladder.”

    This should read: “I am angry at everyone because women don’t want me and I was already angry at the men, and the men in my life think I’m weak or gay or both.”

    In looking at the history of how our current conceptions of masculinity developed (read Kimmel’s Manhood in America or Rotundo’s American Manhood) I’ve discovered that women are more objectified then most feminists think because what those who subscribe to hegemonic masculinity want is the acceptance of other men, but because all men pose a threat to one’s own manhood, this is impossible, and women, homosexuals, people of color or any “other” just get dropped in this quest for homosocial intimacy.

    This quick analysis is, of course, incomplete, but I hope you see where this is coming from. It is important to remember that hierarchies imprison both the oppressed and the oppressor when discussing these topics.

    P.S. I don’t know if you do this a lot because I’m pretty new to reading this blog, but your use of fruitcake is kind of offensive. If you meant “crazy,” “flaky,” “stupid,” please use those words instead of using a word that has a derogatory history. :)

    • Nine Deuce December 8, 2008 at 9:14 PM #

      John – Thanks for the input, and I’m interested in hearing about the results of your research. However, please refrain from putting words in my mouth and telling me how to write. Coming onto a feminist blog and telling me how I ought to have expressed my own thoughts is presumptuous, and is really a 101 issue (as you ought to know, since you are calling yourself a pro-feminist). You can tell me you think what I said doesn’t capture all of the facets of the issue and add your input, and you can tell me you found my word choice offensive, but you can’t tell me what my post “should have said” and tell me which words to use in place of the ones you don’t like. I’m the boss here at RATM, not to mention a perfectly competent writer, and I won’t be told by someone who uses “then” in place of “than” how to express myself.

  16. John December 8, 2008 at 9:39 PM #

    I apologize for writing my post like that. It wasn’t my intention to put words in your mouth. I should have said something along the lines of, “I think that the internal, unconscious dialog of these men is…” I will be more careful in the future.
    Though I call myself pro-feminist, I’m still learning a lot about feminism and about my previously unquestioned privilege, so I really appreciate the correction.

    • Nine Deuce December 8, 2008 at 9:41 PM #

      Thanks. Please excuse the harshness of my response, but that’s a pet peeve.

  17. Immir March 8, 2010 at 3:39 AM #

    It’ so true. People know nothing of female sexuality. Women are sexualized not sexual.

  18. Elizabeth March 30, 2010 at 9:59 PM #

    HOLY CRAP…I love this…thank you. Keep writing!

  19. Hecate April 14, 2010 at 12:24 PM #

    I found an amusing article that suggests men may be ‘hyper-emotional’ during sex, whereas the female brain tends to shut down emotional centers during sex:

    http://io9.com/391315/women-have-no-emotional-feelings-during-orgasm-say-neuroscientists

    What a fantastic concept! It would seem that if we equate emotion with ego, it is the woman who is having the truly transcendent experience here. So men would do well to stand by and learn from the master ;)

    • pbutterfly2000 November 15, 2013 at 8:40 PM #

      Well that is fascinating. All available evidence points to the fact that nothing gets men more emotional than seeing a naked woman. So that they’re emotional during sex makes sense too.

  20. Jennie November 24, 2012 at 1:54 AM #

    Nine Deuce-Thank you for a wonderful read. You are an amazing writer and I truly love your blog. You speak the truth-and I respect you for that. I am so so happy that I can read blogs like this and relate so well..I have been a Feminist since I was very young-I always noticed the inequality between men and women in society. Now-many many women have seen the light and are speaking out about the truth about men and the patriarchy. We have come a long way as women but we also have a long fight ahead of us. Porn has become more violent than ever and yes-it is backlash against women like us and in general. Porn is “free speech?!” Oh please. So what is it saying? “Men hate women!” Fuck the patriarchy! Keep up the great work:)

  21. Silent September 9, 2016 at 5:19 PM #

    Very well spoken. When i was with my girlfriend i couldn’t understand why she was aroused by me, as she told me. I wasn,t the dominant,sport loving, emotionally flat men, woman like in theory. I was a feminime, hatefull creature, from another planet. After we fucked she told me she was attracted to me, that was when i realised there is something more to female seksual perception, than The shitty James bond narratives, we all tried to conform to. How can a gendered female ,be attracted to a quite, kinda shy, and depressed Young man ? ” woman want men who dominate them,its nature, monkeys do it too” if that is The case, we where a queer couple. Sometimes she told me about her fantasies, a new world was opening for me, a surrealist, unknown world. Now media ever told me about The bold female desires. What you see in The porn( i watched as a teen,sorry) in The porn you see Some filthy quasi progressive bloke, fucking a woman you as The viewer know for a minute. He fucks here, he orgasms, and its done, it stops, like he masturbated in another person, calling it free love, its hypocrite as fuck. when my girlfriend and i fucked, it took me Some effort to turn her on, and i was ashamed when it didnt work. If i would have acted as the porn males, talking about here pussy etc, she wouldn,t be turned on, she would have reacted with pitty and disgust . So i can,t see how woman in porn gets turned on( the porn wants you to believe that) by a shitty loud talking bloke, every woman i know would reject in a splitsecond. Its in the porn fantasy those males are in “charge” and other males internalise this.When we fucked It ook foreplay, and afterplay, and all kinds of slow escalation to make it whole. It wasn’t Some sort of rodeo riding. Also in shitty porn, The woman doesnt even want to be there, capitalism and poverty wants her to be there ,which doesnt seem to be a good start, in which mutual communication can be exchanged, when The profit modus is decieding there cant Be any communication in general. So yeah porn is visual shit, Some capitalist parasites make money out. Dont use it use your fantasy, thats The real personalised “porn”

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  1. links for 2008-06-12 « don’t ya wish your girlfriend was smart like me? - June 12, 2008

    […] SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! from Rage Against the Man-chine: really good post on defining sex and sexuality. (tags: female_sexuality female_pleasure sexuality sexuality_as_performance) […]

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