You’re never too young for implants.

When it comes to serious feminist analysis, Jezebel is pretty weak sauce (being the “most feminist” of the Gawker Media empire sites isn’t saying much), but the site occasionally alerts me to an item or two of interest, such as the new internet sensation sweeping the nation known as Miss Bimbo. Miss Bimbo is a new online game for young girls in which the goal is to date hot dudes, have hot hair, be into hot stuff, wear hot clothes, have hot boobs, and just be generally hot, which is hot. You win by collecting bimbo attitude points (essentially popularity points), which you can amass by getting breast implants, taking diet pills, having the best wardrobe (including lingerie and “clubwear”), having the most money (for shopping, of course) and — I’m assuming — being the biggest asshole. Basically, the goal is to become Daisy De La Hoya.

The site, which looks like it’s been doused in Pepto-Bismal and hair bleach, is just the next installment in the Bratzification of American girls, but it’s even more sinister than Bratz dolls themselves. Or maybe not? The Bratz people are teaching young girls that being a woman is all about fulfilling male fantasies and allowing yourself to be reduced to sexualized body parts and fashion choices, but they’re being sneaky about it. At least the dude behind the Miss Bimbo phenomenon is telling the truth about what capitulating to the Bratz doll ideal entails in all its ugly details: if you want to live up to today’s model of femininity, get ready to starve, cut yourself up, and eschew having a personality that goes beyond being a snottie hottie.

Wait, what the fuck am I saying? This guy’s an asshole! The site’s creator, Nicholas Jacquart, a French dude of 23 (Is there anything more revolting than male continental Europeans?), claims that his site, which encourages crash dieting and plastic surgery among female children, is just “harmless fun” that “mirrors real life in a tongue-in-cheek way.” I suppose he might be right about the fact that it mirrors reality, what with the growth of pro-ana websites that serve a mainly preteen and adolescent audience and the exponential growth in breast implant surgery among ever younger women, but is that a reason to promote those practices even further by teaching young girls that these kinds of behaviors are not only normal, but the only path to happiness as a woman? But it’s not all bad; Jacquart, responsible motherfucker that he is, is doing his part to combat eating disorders. The rules section of the site, according to TimesOnline, warns players that although the goal is “to keep your bimbo waif thin… every girl needs to eat, every now and again,” so it’s important to give the old gal a rice cake every week or so to prevent her from dying and having to pass on her wardrobe of thongs and boots with the fur to some other bimbo.

I’m happy to report that, in every article I’ve read about Miss Bimbo, parents are outraged that their daughters are being encouraged to starve and mutilate themselves. However, I’m unhappy to report that, in these same articles, I’ve found that there are 1.2 million girls playing this game in France, 200,000 in the UK, and who knows how many in the US, where I expect that the membership of the site will go apeshit once the it gains ground over here. I’m also unhappy to report that, although most of the parents and parents’ organizations took issue with the game’s promotion of extremely disturbing practices like crash dieting and plastic surgery, none of them mentioned the larger forces at work behind the game and its central premise that girls’ value resides in their sex appeal and their material possessions: our culture has become disgustingly complacent about the sexualization and objectification of female children and adolescents, and we are teaching an entire generation of girls that life revolves around nothing but pink shit and boys named Cade.

Where is the outrage about the fact that the options being presented to girls in our supposed “post-feminist” society are so restricted and detrimental to the human spirit? Where is the outrage at seeing girls turned into fashionbots with no interests beyond their hair and boys who are being taught to see them as nothing but brainless sex objects? Where is the outrage at the fact that this game is telling girls that being called a bimbo is not only nothing to get upset about, but something to celebrate? It’s pretty clear to me, even with my inferior female brain, that Nicholas Jaquart has a pretty low opinion of girls and their place in the world, so why the fuck isn’t there more uproar over the fact that he’s marketing a game to female children? Way to miss the point, Jezebel.

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30 thoughts on “You’re never too young for implants.

  1. Stuff like this makes me wonder exactly how I’m able to actually like my body as a pale, small-breasted woman. I mean, I obviously should’ve gotten the message when I was twelve and flat-chested that I needed to be going to tanning salons every other week and getting implants the second a doctor would authorize them for me, right?
    Ugh. I certainly hope I never see my twelve-year-old sister playing this.


    1. My sister nearly killed herself so many times trying to fit into what men and other women even wanted her to be. Because the kinds of people she hung out with really were vapid and valued this crap and she bought right into it. Me, being I don’t know, just the kind of person who read a lot and was not interested in superficial stuff, did not try to tan myself or slather myself with that orange fake tan stuff. I didn’t even try makeup til I was 13 and I have never been a huge devotee. I mean, foundation? That’s reserved for stuff like going to a wedding, that’s not an everyday thing. Yeah I’m pale. I’m so white I’m practically translucent. My landlord from Guyana once literally asked me, “Why are you so white?” And I don’t have albinism. Anyway, I wear my shorts and DGAF. That was 30 years ago and I STILL wear my shorts or whatever I want. My sister STILL covers her arms and legs in summer (which can get to 113 degrees here) because she STILL hates herself. It’s horrible. SHe was anorexic and bulimic and a cutter, too.


  2. As outraged as these parents claim to be, they are the ones fueling things like bratz and this ridiculous game. Young girls don’t have the money to buy the dolls are the credits to play this game. It is the parents who are spending their money to indulge their daughters. Sometimes it is necessary to say no to our children to stop them from consuming things that are harmful. I know that I have never bought a child a Bratz doll or a Barbie because to do so would send the message that this is all that a woman is worth. Take a stand with your dollars and stop purchasing things that demean women.


  3. I took the time to sign up to look into this game, and it’s… actually worse than it sounds. Not only does all the stuff mentioned happen, but in order to make more money and move up in the ranks you actually have to have (and win) bitch fights. Or “bimbo challenges” as they call them. And oh yeah, how do you earn money to keep an apartment (a requirement, lest ye not be bimbo enough)? You go to the club and try to land a man. That’s it. You can’t even get a job until you’ve won a certain number of bitch fights. Fan-fucking-tastic.


    1. i just emailed my friends an excerpt of this blog entry, including your comment, lindsay. wow. so interfemale conflict and prostitution are also being glorified? it seems like the backlash against feminism just gets worse and worse all the time. on the one hand i’m laughing at this game but on the other hand i find it, and this whole cultural trend, terrifying.


  4. I clicked on the ‘View Random Bimbo’ button out of curiosity. It seems that the clothes take longer to load than the body and I got a glimpse of a bimbo’s nakedness. They don’t have nipples. They don’t even really have vaginas. I guess that anatomically correct women don’t exist in Bimbo world.

    Also…the grammar on this site is horrible.

    I’m disappointed in humanity.


  5. Is there anything more revolting than male continental Europeans?

    I recently found out your blog and I like it quite a lot. I am however deeply insulted and hurt by you comment above. I am a female continental European, so I guess I am the second most revolting thing in the world? Listen, this statement is deeply racist. I guess (hope) you wrote as a joke, or trying to be ´shocking´but anyway you cut it, it´s racist. It´s actually the very definition of racism.
    I could go on and on about the fictional creature you have in your mind (I imagine something like Serge Gainsgbourg, no?) doesn´t actually reflect not by far, the average “continental European,” that the is actually no such thing as a “continental European” (like you could bag Spaniards, Greeks, Italians, Germans, Swedes, Czechs, Slovenians, Russians, Albanians, Rumanians and what have you together in the same category. Most of them woud be terrified to be compared to eachother! -for different reasons).
    And also, it may surprise you, not all “continental Europeans” are uppity priviledged white snobs. Anyway, there is really no point usually in trying to change a racist´s mind (if you thing they all belong to whatever sterotype you have in mind, or that it´s ok to be insulting because they are the same priviledged person – I am not going to convince otherwise) .
    You will probably say it´s a joke, but I don´t think racism is funny. In my opinion, its contradictory to have a racist, essensialist and othering comment in a radical feminist blog. Even if it is against those disgusting priviledged conintental Europeans (I guess the ¨continental¨part was so that you wouldn´t insult the majority of your audience, who are probably native enligsh-speakers, and maybe some of them British). I thing you should remove this revolting (!) comment.


    1. With all due respect, I think you should give some thought to the definition of “racism.” It is not a synonym of “othering.” The comment I made might be a bit much, but it certainly isn’t racist (or sexist) since I do not belong to a group that oppresses continental men on the basis of race or sex.


      1. Your characterization of european men (yeah yeah except British men, I get it, they are great -maybe also except the men people of ibiza, crete, or sicily etc since there are islands in europe as well, oh yes and Cyprus, which is aslo an country!! and colonized by the British—there you go, sure the decadent brutes of Cyprus learned something from the British that has stopped them from being revolting like the rest of their continental brethen.. or not??) is not just a “bit much”, it is plain out racist. I put “racist” next to “othering” in my post, I never said that they are synonymous, like you claim in your answer.

        As for the main part of you answer, are you actually saying that you have to be part of an oppresive group to be racist? I am sure (and I have even seen it written here as well) that oppressed people can be racist as well, like for instance women can be misogynists. You are presenting a whole group of people and nations (not a race, but ´race´doesn´t exist anyway) as the scum of the earth, and you are telling me this is not racist? If I am an Albanian woman and I say all American women are ignorant illiterate morons, I am not being racist because Albanian women as a group have never oppressed American women as a group?? Please, you cannot be serious, this is such a weak (an plain out inaccurate as to what constitutes racism) answer. Too bad you cannot admit you made an inexcusable racist remark, but anyway. I have to go now to call my revolting continental european father now, and tell him to send regards to my revolting continental european brother, whose revolting continental european son I have baptized. byeee


        1. Please don’t mistake me – I’m no fan of British men either. We are on the wrong track here and I suppose it’s a matter of my style/sense of humor. No one said anyone was the scum of the Earth. I am put off by the hypocrisy of supposedly progressive European men who can’t seem to relinquish the idea that women exist to be consumed. British and American men make almost no effort to conceal their true view of women.


          1. Hmmm I bet they never taught you that actually very few european countries had colonies…. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM……My God it´s sad your lack of knowlegde in history. I would tell you but I am tired of giving history lessons to ignorants on the net. You obviously didn´t even bother to read my post, where I talk about Greeks, Albanians, Polish, Finish (just to mention a few),,,, Just show me their colonies in America, you ignorant, ignorant person, you think you are soooo smart and ironic right? Well the jokes on you!! Look up what countries constiute Europe, and I bet you´d be surprised!!!!


          2. I yes, and the original post wasn´t racist because it talked about europeans being privileged!! it was racist because it said: “is there anything more revolting than a european male”? Where does it talk about privilege in there? Not only you didn´t read my answer, but it looks like you din´t even bother to read the original post. So be more carefull in the future.


            1. also we learn all about europe in north american schools you paternalistic ass. we learn about how europeans are the superior race and native americans ‘lost the war’ which is racist. bet you weren’t aware there are many different bands of native americans. bet you aren’t aware how stoopid you sound.also your privilege is showing. get off feminist blogs and stop spouting them with your stoopid. you have raped native women by proxy by being a european male. you benefit from the genocide of native people, and of women which is still going on so shut the fuck up and go cry to your revolting continental european male friends on how the world is so racist against your despite how racism against people of color stems from euro-centric viewpoint. racist? u dont know the meaning of the word! u benefit from colonialism and you’re too stupid to know it. ppl like you should kill yourself and maybe one women will be saved from being raped and thats more than the lives of 10 of your peers and u combined.


    2. thank you for saying what i, and every other man of colour has been saying for years. however our posts never seem to make it on to this blog


  6. Some people and their ludicrous ideas. Please, my fellow female continental European, get this through your head: racism is the systemic discrimination against someone on the basis of their race. Nine Deuce is passing negative judgment on powerful people on the basis of their hateful beliefs and actions which are established facts. The difference. It is fundamental.

    Sometimes malignant behaviour needs to be called out in the harshest possible language; what is your problem with that? Wait, don’t tell me; it’s “racist”! Give me a break. As if continental European males were a race. What Nine Deuce is rightly pointing out is that continental European males are among the worst misogynists in the world. That is the truth; I should know, I’ve lived among them long enough. This has to do with characterising them as a class, get it? My dearly beloved dad and my brothers, whom I would die for, are continental European males. That does not change the fact that as an otherwise highly diversified class, continental European males are a pretty damn abominable bunch of misogynists. Of course, American males are, too.


    1. As if continental European males were a race.

      So if I say all North Americans are disgusting idiots, I am not being racist? What if I say all Saudi Arabians are disgusting? What if I say that all Africans are disgusting? Because they are not a race either. Please define what I am being by saying that.

      Also: please don´t give me lessons in class in privilege, I am well aware of what Nine Deuce was trying to say. What I poinited out was that it was a pretty racist (othering, oversimpifying, unhelpful) way to say it. In equating all europeans with her stereotype of the ¨”quintessential male european oppressor” she is disappearing all other europeans.

      Also you say you lived among continental europeans and they are all misogynists. So in how many european countries have you lived? All men all around the world are basically misogynists, why the need to point out continental europeans as the most revolting misogynists of all? And mind you, I disagree. For example, abortion is basically a non-issue in most european countres, except maybe Ireland. Anyway, I think name shaming european as the most misogynists people on the globe is: a. wrong, and all you have to do is look at comparative statistics to verify that )education, health, economic power for women, participation in politics etc. if you want I can point you to the sources) 2. othering and racist 3. about as helpful and conductive to dialogue as saying that all Arabs are revolting misogynists.


  7. I agree, ND. I went to college in Scotland, and my thesis for my final year was to do with the beginnings of industrial psychology and implementation of safer conditions for factory workers in Glasgow and the UK in general. It was actually kind of fun. It was before anyone had widespread or fast access to the internet, so I went into archives and museums in London to research it.

    Well, it was wonderful up until I had to schedule an interview with a man who knew quite a bit on the topic. He was indeed more ‘old school,’ so thought it might be nice if we had the interview at London’s ‘gentleman’s club.’ That has naught to do with strip clubs, of course. It was an actual meeting place for businessmen. So on the day, I walked into this rather posh ‘club,’ only to be told I was not allowed in without a skirt! Btw, I had on a very nice pantsuit. My interviewee sighed and looked over at me apologetically. We ended up having the interview in a crappy little cafe. That was over 15 years ago. I’ll be the rule is still in place. Why give women a nice place to do anything serious, right?

    Other than that, I’m pretty fond of the UK and Europe overall, but don’t see any woman being successful in business there. They had a fantastic social safety net, etc., but I still sensed that they preferred their women be subdued in general. I lived in Europe for about 16 years of my life, but never met a female professional I could look up to. I resided mostly in Italy and the UK. Sad, because life can be pleasant there, lacking a lot of the stress of US culture. I have heard that Scandinavian countries are fairly progressive and female-friendly. Perhaps I’ll check it out at some point :) (that is if the recession ever ends!)


  8. Hecate, as a Dane, I can confirm that the Scandinavian countries are relatively woman-friendly. Sweden is better than Denmark, but even here we have the kind of climate where you would be hard-pressed to find anyone anti-choice, for example.


  9. Thanks Fede :) I had a feeling they were! I’m in correspondence now with a woman in Denmark who wrote an interesting book I’d like to check out on Ecofeminism.

    I also admire the tendency in cities there to push for pedestrian areas and the enthusiasm for bike riding. Car culture here in the US really bugs me, on several levels. When I lived in Italy, I never saw the elderly riding those stupid ‘Hoveround’ gizmos.


  10. “As for the main part of you answer, are you actually saying that you have to be part of an oppresive group to be racist?”

    Well…sorta kinda yeah. This is an issue that is debated a lot, and that has more than its fair share of apologists and (whatever the word for people who like making false equivalences is), for obvious reasons.

    But, as a general rule, it’s said that racism equals power plus privilege. Or to put it another way, one’s prejudices aren’t that much of a worry until one can act on them. Now, as a whole, prejudices against continental white men have little power to harm behind them.

    And that’s without dealing with postjudice. Now, I can’t really condemn people for hating people that hate them, especially when I’ve not been on the receiving end of that hatred myself. I’d also be very wary of saying that it’s counter-productive to hate back, or to spout the usual lines about catching more flies with honey than vinegar. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand the concern, even if it’s merely being used as an excuse to attack people unhappy with persecution.


  11. As a continental European male (French, even) I’m so deeply sorry.

    Not even sarcasm. I’m fucking disgusted.


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