I’ve always had a sort of neutral view of pornography, I guess. Never been pro-porn, but I had also never thought all that much about the negative effects it has on people and relationships. So I’ve found your porn series absolutely fascinating and really informative. I’m going to share it with my boyfriend and my sister (my sister left her husband because of the rift that his porn use created between them). I think they’ll really enjoy reading it as well.

Thanks again!

Your articulate rebuttals cut right through the bullshit. It’s nice to see that some women still understand that rejecting rape culture and violent porn is not insulting people’s individual choices, but rather honoring the voices of those who have suffered from the harsh realities of the effect of rape culture has had on the culture as a whole and in the (in)justice system in particular. The first question they asked me after the assault was, of course, “What were you wearing?” asked other insulting questions like whether the stranger-rapist just “mistook” me for a prostitute. The man got off on a technicality and I got PTSD, Yeah!

Anyhow, I don’t mean to soapbox here, but I am going to because I don’t get on the internet much and I really need to say this: I ended up on this blog because I am sick of “sex-positive feminists” spending pages and pages crying that people don’t validate their right to have rape fantasies (you know who you are…I know you lurk here). Reality check: rape is UNWANTED, UNDESIRED sex. Period. Fantasy is by definition driven by DESIRE. You can’t desire something that is in it’s essence UNWANTED. So it’s not a fucking “rape fantasy” ok? So please the next time you sex-poz femmes sit down to blog about how oppressed you are because people don’t validate your lame abuse fantasies, why consider using that all that exposure to, uh I don’t know, like help suffering women…or nevermind, just keep posting all that crap about how you just want the right to dream about being raped, or whatever. My 2c.

I know that the Christian shame that infused my house left a lot of psychological residue that I needed to work through, especially body-loathing and shame that did manifest sexually. (DUH) Don’t start me on the twisted morality of Patriarchal faith. It’s a soul-bender.

@Skeptifem. Thanks for that clarification. You make a great deal of sense to me.

One more point. If prostitution is a regular job like any other under capitalism, why do so few of the customers identify themselves? I don’t see anyone hiding the fact that they just had a burger, yet the vast majority of johns will not publicly admit to purchasing this service.

First off, I’m a 21 year old girl. Secondly, I’m a kinky girl. I started watching porn when I was around 15 and as the years progressed my kinks grew increasingly more ‘dark’, for lack of a better word. I’ve seen some truly fucked up things before and the way you were describing kink.com made me think it was one of THOSE sites but when I checked it out I was shocked. Shocked because this is all just so mundane and normal in the BDSM world. I’ve masturbated to fantasies worse than this.

I have a rape kink. Nothing is hotter to me then being forced into submission. Does this mean I condone real rape? No. Not even in your wildest dreams. My sympathy goes out to every single rape victim and I’m truly sorry for what happened to them but thats not going to change what turns me on. Everything in these videos is staged, just the way I like my rape. But more to the point lets consider the fact that these girls agreed to it, they knew what was going to happen and they consented so no matter how you try to twist it this isn’t against their will at all. Whips and chains hurt, yes, so they do look like their in pain. But that doesn’t mean they’re not enjoying it at the same time. The people who go to these sites don’t have anything wrong with them so you can drop your act now. I look at this kind of stuff personally to fantasize about being forced into submission and demeaned and humiliated and just plain OWNED. Yes. I fully admit this. So yeah men probably look at it to fantasize about being the one doing those things and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Why? Because its consensual.

What you probably don’t understand given your ‘everything that doesn’t put women on a pedestal is terrible and wrong!’ mentality is that couples in kinky relationships have better communication than none kinky couples because you just cannot do these things safely without having dialogue with your partner. They’re often more healthy, spanking, face fucking and all, and they have fewer cases of cheating overall too. There are plenty of men out there who would love to play with a girl like this, have her under his finger as an obedient slave but then they go out into the real world and they’re completely normal and productive. Liking staged rape and consensual slavery is not synonymous with liking real rape and human trafficking so you need to loose that idea now.

And like I said earlier I’ve seen much, much worse that wasn’t at all appealing to me because I have a limit just like you quite clearly have a limit. However, do I run around villainizing everyone who likes stuff rougher then me? No. Which is what you need to stop. The people at kink.com have done nothing wrong and honestly you should feel ashamed of yourself for acting like an innocent 12 year old who stumbled upon the site. Everyone has their thing and some of us just like it rough. You don’t? Thats fine. But don’t shit on us to make yourself feel better.

Also, if you honestly think that enjoying being tied up and whipped is the worst of human desire then you have a LOT of growing up to do emotionally. There is so much worse shit out there and honestly someone else’s kinks shouldn’t even be on the list of things to be concerned about.