Nine Deuce

I basically go off, dude. People all over the internet call me rad. They call me fem, too, but I’m not all that fem. I mean, I’m female and I have long hair and shit, but that’s just because I’m into Black Sabbath. I don’t have any mini-skirts, high heels, thongs, or lipstick or anything, and I often worry people with my decidely un-fem behavior. I’m basically a “man” trapped in a woman’s body. What I mean is that, like a person with a penis, I act like a human being and expect other people to treat me like one even though I have a vagina. That doesn’t mean anyone ever meets my expectations, but I still have them. It’s too bad so few people are as smart as I am or they’d have all figured out by now that genitalia oughtta not make a fuck (read that last bit with a redneck accent) and that we should all get to be human beings instead of “women” or “men.” It’s really too bad.

So, I started this blog.

This is the page where everyone finds out who Nine Deuce is, right? Like what I’m into, whether I’m gay or straight, old or young, hot or not, cool or weak sauce, black or brown or red or yellow or white (because those are the only five options), fat or skinny, tall or short, Scientologist or Wiccan? Right, here goes:

  • I like poetry slams, chili cookoffs, Renaissance faires, bluegrass festivals, tailgate parties, fun runs, and Bible camps.
  • I also like spinning in circles, drawing pictures of horses, braiding hair, picking flowers, and loudly discussing my stock trading activities at tapas bars.
  • I can often be seen in Central Park on a unicycle selling cotton candy or playing with my hackey sack and devil sticks.
  • When I’m not doing that I’m working as a roadie for Blues Traveler and getting tattoos in Chinese that I can’t read but that I’m sure say shit like “love” and “courage.”
  • My car has several bumper stickers on it. They read, “All gave some, some gave all,” and “These colors don’t run,” and “Never forget,” and “It’s a choice, not a child,” and “Honk if you’re gay,” and “Show us your tits!”
  • My favorite movie is Talladega Nights, but I can also appreciate Will Ferrell’s early work.
  • I carry a ghetto blaster with me everywhere I go, and I alternate between “Centerfield” by John Fogerty and “Boogie in Your Butt” by Eddie Murphy.
  • I’ve got 9 kids from 10 dads (none of whom are white), 1 transgendered Chinchilla, and a giant Belgian rabbit who only eats carnitas.
  • I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion.

369 Responses to “Nine Deuce”

  1. Iain March 20, 2008 at 8:52 PM #

    You need to address your anger and lighten up a bit, as serious as you think these issues are most of us just do our best to be good human beings and actually get on with life.

  2. Nine Deuce March 20, 2008 at 11:42 PM #

    I think it’s pretty easy for a dude to tell someone to lighten up. As soon as you aren’t part of the group that runs everything, go ahead and start telling people to stop worrying about being shat on. As soon as the porn industry is dominated by images of men being choked and called derogatory names, tell me to stop being angry. As soon as men start getting raped on the same scale women do, and as soon as women start beating their husbands to death, you can come tell me this shit doesn’t matter. As soon as women can walk down the street without assholes harassing them, as soon as women earn equal pay for equal work, as soon as our bodies aren’t used as decoration for advertising and entertainment, tell me I have nothing to be irritated by. As for doing our best to be good human beings, that’s what I’m about here. I’m trying to do something to alleviate some of the ills I see plaguing women in our culture, if only by making one person at a time more aware of the problems that exist. But thanks for the patronizing pedantry.

    • Kay September 24, 2013 at 7:10 PM #

      Hi, I’m not sure how to e-mail you, I emailed you before years ago and I wanted to get your attention so I’m replying to this. My sister got me into reading your blog, and I have always loved it and we both thought you were brilliant. We always looked forward to your posts. My sister was such a feminist, though she battled with low self esteem and couldn’t seem to get out of a bad relationship. Recently, her boyfriend murdered her. He was heavy into pornography. I would go into more detail it’s just a public case and I don’t ever want to put too much on the internet. I just want you to know that I love what you stand for, and so did my sister. I promised her that I would continue her legacy in life and you bring awareness to the things at the very core of what has created this mess, and many others. (I just read your most recent post from 9/17/13). I’d love for you to email me, I’m sure you can see my address. God Bless and thank you for inspiring us both :)

  3. Iain March 21, 2008 at 4:49 AM #

    I think it’s pretty easy for a dude to tell someone to lighten up. As soon as you aren’t part of the group that runs everything, go ahead and start telling people to stop worrying about being shat on.

    Your suggestion that there is actually a oppressor/ oppressed relationship between men and women is at best illusory. In any case I’m not saying that you should stop fighting for a better deal for anyone but you are so obviously VERY angry about this and such anger will tear you apart in the long run. so my suggestion that you lighten up is all about strategies for self preservation rather than support for the “evils” that piss you off.

    As soon as the porn industry is dominated by images of men being choked and called derogatory names, tell me to stop being angry.

    The porn industry is here to stay and while I share some of your concerns about some aspects of it just about all of the women who participate in it do so entirely consensually but there are whole sub genres of porn where men are in fact treated exactly as you describe, in both Straight and Gay porn. Every one has their own tastes when it come s to erotica and really this does not have anything to do with gender equality.

    As soon as men start getting raped on the same scale women do, and as soon as women start beating their husbands to death, you can come tell me this shit doesn’t matter.

    I detest rape as much as you obviously do but the relationship between Porn and rape is tenuous at best because, But when it come to Domestic violence I suggest that instead of taking the “all men are rapists line” I suggest that you explore the work of Erin Pizzey some one who has the track record to know what she is talking about.

    As soon as women can walk down the street without assholes harassing them, as soon as women earn equal pay for equal work, as soon as our bodies aren’t used as decoration for advertising and entertainment, tell me I have nothing to be irritated by.

    When the fashion industry (which is dominated, by women and homosexuals) tells women to dress in a sexually provocative manner all of the time men will notice. I don’t live in the US and here in Australia we do have legislation that mandates equal pay for equal work, not perfect but closer to good than in your country. When it comes to advertising there is these days an equality of sorts because I see just as many “himbos” draped half naked in advertising as there are women doing the same . We will never get away from our basic biological imperatives for attractive people get our attention and I suspect that your puritan tendencies here are bound to give you more pain than satisfaction.

    As for doing our best to be good human beings, that’s what I’m about here. I’m trying to do something to alleviate some of the ills I see plaguing women in our culture, if only by making one person at a time more aware of the problems that exist.

    A laudable enough ambition but anger on its own will not achieve much and the toll that it will take on you at a personal level will be higher than you expect. I tend to think that persuasion rather than trying to brow beat anyone into your position is a better way to go because if you want to change the world so that it is better for women you have to find a way to bring men along as well and you won’t do that with an “Us and Them” attitude

    But thanks for the patronizing pedantry.

    I’m not trying to patronise you at all I’m just shooting the breeze in a blog comment about issues I’ve thought a lot about. Now you can keep writing pieces full of piss and vinegar or you can learn from others who have done the anger thing and moved on to a more fruitful duologue about the issues , it is entirely up to you. But ask your self which is going to be the more effective way to effect change, even one person at a time?

    Cheers & best wishes

    Iain Hall

    • Meg July 10, 2009 at 10:59 AM #

      Oh, WTF, WTF, WTF. The last thing I expect to see as the first comment on a lovely radfem blog is some asshole spouting off all the same old bullshit (silly me I guess, I read enough blogs to know that women with opinions, to these guys, are like little mechanical moles to be smashed with a hammer as soon as they pop up). I have walked to my car from late-night classes, on campus, in the dark, being followed by a half dozen young men who loudly made sexual comments about my body. I’ve had an old man “flirt” with me by explaining how he’d like to put me in the back of his car and “have a good time with me” while I was essentially trapped there, running a charity table by myself (I could leave, sure, if I was okay with having all the merch + cash stolen…). I’ve heard a man loudly describe to his friends how he’d like to anally rape me while I was shopping for CDs at the local wal-mart. I have had men leer and yell and whistle and generally make me feel like shit. I wear jeans and t-shirts and military jackets and skate shoes and men’s sandals with the squishy insoles built in… So can we as a society stop all this ignorant bullshit about how women who get sexually harassed are “asking for it” by wearing the sexxxy clothes? we could wear burkhas, we could wear bikinis, it wouldn’t matter. The only way a woman can avoid being sexually abused by men in our society is to stop leaving the house or better yet, stop existing. So a big fuck you to Iain Hall and anyone else who thinks he can explain to women how our own lives operate. Heaven forbid that women expect to be treated with respect, whether they’re walking down the street or taking part in online discussions.

      (And yes I know this is about a year and some too late… delete if you like but it was either rant or smash things, and there’s nothing particularly smashable in reach. ^^)

    • Kendeep August 28, 2009 at 4:21 PM #

      OK. So your post is hard to read because it elicits very powerful feelings for those of us that have been and continue to be on the receiving end of unwarranted negative behaviors by men. What I think you are trying to say is that you agree with some of what is being said BUT you think it should be said in a way which promotes a desire to learn a more positive behavior instead of condemnation for negative behaviors. Maybe you came across wrong with the quotes and stats. Sometimes simplicity goes a long way.

      Hey I get what you are saying; I think in order to make a change we need to get everybody involved, both men and women.

      For the record, I too have suffered and for the betterment of the world in which my son and my daughter will grow up in, there must be a change. My children will be the product of a self aware mother that forces them to consider life from ALL perspectives. This includes women, men, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bi-sexual, all backgrounds, without judgment. NO HATE

    • C October 6, 2013 at 1:28 PM #

      lol I read the first couple of lines and got angry but by around the third or fourth line I was just like ehh I think it’s the capslock “very” that did it

      9D the posts the dingalings write are real long sometimes and they get annoying to scroll thru im just saying

  4. Nine Deuce March 21, 2008 at 9:27 PM #

    I’ve gotta get on a plane, so I’ll respond when I get back. For now I’ll just say that, for someone who has supposedly given more thought to these issues than I have and has come to some kind of superior vantage point from which to discuss them (which is a fucking laugh) and for someone who chooses to adopt such a condescending tone, you sure don’t seem to know much about what you’re talking about (as in statistics, facts, correlations), nor do you seem able to see the big picture behind the concerns you so cavalierly dismiss. For now you may want to read this and this.

  5. heywood March 21, 2008 at 9:37 PM #

    iain –

    as a man, i am embarrassed to be of the same gender as you, but i can sleep at night because at least i live in a different hemisphere. i suggest that you think a little more about the issues that you have thought a lot about, and then keep thinking a little bit more, until you realize how retarded you are. good luck with that son.

    paternally yours,

    • Kendeep August 28, 2009 at 3:51 PM #

      Heywood. Please avoid using the word retarded.

      • Louise Elizabeth Sawyer October 29, 2009 at 11:49 PM #

        I think that was quite a warranted use of the word retard.

        • Kris F April 2, 2013 at 10:28 PM #

          Its funny but it’s also offensive. I have a cousin who is actually mentally retarded but a good person who is easily smart enough to know how to treat people right. So using that term in a derogatory way hurt good people.

  6. hellonhairylegs March 27, 2008 at 8:48 AM #

    Anger is a valid weapon of the oppressed. Telling us not to be so angry out of pseudo-concern is akin to telling us that we should put away one of our most potent weapons and play by your rules. Those same rules which have been slanted in your favour for millennia. You control history, culture and the legal system, which means if we play by your rules we already start out at a huge disadvantage.

    If you actually took the effort to open your mind while reading sources such as this ( then maybe you’d understand why we’re so angry. You’d also appreciate the fact that incredibly intelligent people write out fantastic arguments and observations in the faint hope that people like you will listen.

    As for the relationship between porn and gender equality and porn I suggest you look at Robert Jensen’s work.

    If you think you see as many himbos as bimbos in advertising then you are noticing the change of the default objectified human. This is similar to the effect two powerful women and one male POC on a committee of a hundred, the committee is seen as representing a range of views and experience, the fact that 97 of the people are white guys doesn’t mean much, because white male men are seen as the default. An exception to the rule doesn’t prove the rule doesn’t exist. I’d also note that in mainstream Western culture the attractive woman is portrayed as weak, with her breasts and arse highlighted. Her nakedness represents vulnerability. The attractive male is portrayed as strong, his muscles highlighted. His nakedness represents his strength.
    I sincerely hope you get over your privilege and truly believe that I, as a woman, deserve to be treated as human.

  7. Feminist Avatar March 27, 2008 at 11:11 PM #

    How is telling someone to ‘shut up’, especially with no further dialogue ‘shooting the breeze’? Notice that you (Nine Deuce) are not meant to make an informed choice to not be angry, but to listen to the man and accept what he says without explanation and without debate.

    Fruitful dialogue? Ha. And they wonder why we’re angry.

  8. Nine Deuce March 28, 2008 at 2:23 AM #

    Alright Iain, I’m back and I’m ready to address your paternalistic attempt to show me the error of my ways, however ill-advised that may be.

    I’m not angry in the sense that you’d like to think I am. It doesn’t keep me up at night, disrupt my life, or cause me physical harm. I’m just aware of what’s going on, that it’s unjust, and that extreme terms are what’s needed to get my point across at times. It’s called style. I’m an excellent writer. What can I say? Still, why do you think it’s your job to tell me how to express myself? Where do you get the idea that you know better than I do what I ought to spend my time on? You sound like those jagoffs I hear prefacing some ridiculously misinformed racist nonsense with, “What the black community needs to do is…” I’d like to think you’re just concerned for my well-being, which would be patronizing and insulting anyway, but that isn’t what’s going on here. What you’re doing is trotting out one of the classic anti-feminist cliches: feminists are angry, which means they’re emotional, and thus irrational. Well, sorry. I’m a rational motherfucker at all times, and my logic is airtight.

    As for the porn industry, I don’t know whether it’s here to stay, but I do know that it’s detrimental to women’s existence and I therefore am going to do whatever I can to bring attention to that fact. I’m aware that some women participate in pornography willingly, as you define that term, but I believe that in a society in which women were treated as if they possessed the same measure of humanity that men do, pornography would not exist (at least in the form that it does today) and women would not be willing to participate in its production. But I don’t agree that such a large portion of the women in porn are willing participants. It’s a completely unregulated industry that has an obscene track record of abusing minors, keeping women in sexual slavery, pumping confused young women full of drugs, and countless other abuses. I fail to see how women make unfettered choices under those conditions. Did you know that as many as 3/4 of women in porn have serious drug problems?

    The idea that pornography has nothing to do with gender equality is a real laugh. I second the idea that you look up some of Robert Jensen’s work, and maybe watch the video I posted under the title “Fuckin’ A.” Robert Jensen uses a fairly clear example several times: let’s say I have to go to ask my boss for a raise, or ask a judge to treat me fairly in court, and that boss or judge has spent the previous evening watching “Filthy Cum Sluts 23.” Do you think he’s going to see me as an equal that deserves the same treatment he would expect for himself? Pornography is anti-woman propaganda; its message is loud and clear and that message is that women are here to be used like toilet paper by any man who should wish to. The message is definitely NOT that women are human beings who deserve respect and equitable treatment, or even the right to decide what to do with their own bodies. The idea that such a message doesn’t contribute to rape is absurd. There is more statistical proof that porn consumption fuels sexual assaults than there is that says otherwise. You can cherry-pick a study or two that says porn doesn’t contribute to rape if you want to, but you’ll just be Exxon telling me that a study exists that proves that global warming is a myth.

    The fact that there exists a sub-genre of porn in which men are dominated by women does not disprove the theory that women are treated like sexbots in porn, because the men in these scenarios are still the ones in control; the woman is performing for the man’s pleasure, not the other way around, as is the case in nearly all porn. As for gay porn, the dynamic is much less psychologically dehumanizing in the vast majority of it, and when it is dehumanizing, it’s usually dehumanizing for the performer assuming the “feminine” role.

    I absolutely never said that all men are rapists, but nice try. You aren’t going to misrepresent my position if you want to argue with me.

    Yes, the fashion industry is dominated by women and gay men, but guess who they’re all trying to impress? Men.

    I am not puritanical. I’m a liberal, which means I think people ought to do whatever they like, provided they aren’t hurting anyone *and* provided that they know what they are doing. There is a huge difference between being puritanical, which would mean I want to tell people to cover up and deny their sexuality, and wishing that women had the ability to express their own sexuality in their own terms instead of in terms of male fantasies.

    You really ought to go back and have a look at your response and think about how patronizing and presumptuous it is. I’ve seen your blog, and I’ve read your posts here, and I am left with a question. I am clearly much, much smarter than you are, and I obviously know a lot more than you do about feminism and gender issues (and history, politics, government, and culture), so where would you get the idea that you could come here and tell me how I ought to spend *my* mental energies?

    • Isa September 18, 2009 at 9:40 AM #

      Goddamn. I think I love you.

  9. SAAM March 28, 2008 at 3:34 PM #

    Yes, you are a great writer!
    I am going to keep reading. Thanks

  10. Nine Deuce March 28, 2008 at 3:41 PM #

    Thanks, SAAM. I was kind of kidding about that one. I like to pretend to be more arrogant than I really am at times because it tends to really irritate MRAs who think they’re smarter than all us womenfolk. I’m glad you like the blog!

  11. SAAM March 28, 2008 at 3:54 PM #

    I meant it, as being an aspiring writer, I am reading your stuff, thinking, ‘Shit, I wish I could write like that.”
    I know what you mean about arrogance. I like irritating people!!

  12. hellonhairylegs March 28, 2008 at 10:22 PM #

    I’m with SAAM on your writing ability Ninedeuce.

    As for irritating MRAs and fundies? Just one of the more satisfying perks of the job. -evil laugh’n’smile-

  13. synidicalist702 March 29, 2008 at 1:01 AM #

    Your writing is always on point, 9-2. Take a bow.

  14. BUTTKICKER 69 March 29, 2008 at 7:10 PM #


    • Louise Elizabeth Sawyer October 29, 2009 at 11:58 PM #

      I’m so embarressed for you…

    • TLP March 1, 2014 at 6:39 PM #

      Oh wow, that’s actually not satire.

  15. syndicalist702 March 29, 2008 at 8:28 PM #

    “buttkicker” doesn’t know where his caps-lock key is…

    btw. i’m a man, a feminist, and have a wonderful sex life. Maybe if you didn’t hate women so much you’d know a thing or two about them.

    How much do I desire to debunk thy assumptions? Let me count the ways. :-)

  16. hellonhairylegs March 29, 2008 at 10:50 PM #

    Buttkicker, doncha know that use evil feminazis are all evil lesbians conspiring to kill all men? I guess instead of 6 million Jews we will kill 6 million rapists, but that just wouldn’t be emough. Maybe 50 million for all the people killed in WWII?

    I know I shouldn’t joke with him guys, given that he’ll probably take it seriously, but c’mon, he used the caps locks key. Thats just so cute!

    Awwwww, poor concewn twoll got his twoes stubbed by the ebil nasty feminazis.

  17. Feminist Avatar March 29, 2008 at 11:32 PM #

    Does buttkicker deliberately use there and their the wrong way round? Is it part of the parody?

  18. BUTTKICKER 69 March 29, 2008 at 11:51 PM #


    • sweetlady September 8, 2009 at 7:22 AM #

      Wow, that was really lame. I know I’m like a year to late, but it was so many things wrong with what u said, first, if u were a good christian u wouldn’t be relating to any women but ur wife( if u have one), uwouldnt judge people for their sexuality && u wouldn’t be calling people stupid && queers. I am about to have my third child, all of whom are boys, I’d be damned if I raise my boys to think it’s okay to mistreat a woman. I love men just as much as the next woman, I don’t blame all men for the mistakes that other men made, but I do know there are some really bad men out there. I was mistreated by one for almost 5 years. I don’t hold that against other men because I know there are some good men out there. U didn’t come off as one. I totally get what iain was saying about attracting more bees with honey, but that faze has come && gone. It’s time to being a bitch && let people know, u willnot walk all over me.

      • Eirwen September 9, 2009 at 8:45 AM #

        I’m a year too late as well, oops. I read the first comment he made and I ended up with an image of a shirtless redneck drinking a beer. I know it’s stereotyping but as I’m from the south I see it all the time. Anyway I got to the part about NASCAR and really started laughing.

        Also, the capslock key doesn’t make people absorb a message any better, it just gives people a headache while reading this idiotic dribble.

        It’s a shame that MRA’s are so pissed about feminists. All we want is to be treated fairly and not objectified and made to feel powerless. Why is this such a bad thing?

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 9:20 AM #

      Buttlicker, you suck so bad, you are so lame, so terrible, so not shocking, so nothing to bother answering. How to even start to get it through your very very thick skull?

  19. Nine Deuce March 30, 2008 at 12:18 AM #

    I’ve decided to allow all MRA-type comments as they prove my points for me.

  20. hellonhairylegs March 30, 2008 at 12:37 AM #

    Hehehehehehehe. Whoever is doing the parody: nice work! You’ve pretty much nailed all the elements of the “Nice Guy” combined with the “Christian-Who-Thinks-He’s-Tolerant”. It’s practically a smorgasbord of idiocy!

    Ooh, please pretend to be the pornsick weasel who believes he has the God given right to orgasm to women’s degradation next. Or make your current concern troll go frothing at the mouth at women having the right to control their bodies as “killing unborn children.” Make sure to add a reference to evolution not existing.

  21. BUTTKICKER 69 March 30, 2008 at 1:07 AM #


  22. hellonhairylegs March 30, 2008 at 1:41 AM #

    Inability to get a joke or mockery of any kind? Pure parody brilliance. Adding in clichés like “your worst nightmare” and “God loves y’all” is icing on the cake. You know you could do this for a living. You’re very good at playing the narrow-minded, terminally stupid bigot. You’d have the audience in gales of laughter.

    I’m going to let others salute your comic brilliance, because I don’t want to be cluttering our gracious host’s about page. Thanks for the lols.

    I’m off to cavort with my evil lesbian feminist friends. We sacrifice the penises of rapists, MRAs and fundies to our pagan goddess of feminazism. We also worship her with all our lesbian sex which we do in abandoned churches. In addition we give out flyers on how to have abortions and get BC to our heterosexual sisters who have yet to be converted.

    Ta ta mon ami.

    (edit if you want to 9-2, just reiterating how great your blog is.)

  23. Nine Deuce March 30, 2008 at 2:15 AM #

    Clutter away, all y’all. I’m entertained.

  24. BUTTKICKER 69 March 30, 2008 at 2:50 AM #


    • terry August 6, 2013 at 9:48 AM #

      The liberal view is not that we can so easily just exploit our rights and priviledges of free speech and bite the that feeds us, as you seem to be saying. We are looking to change the planet, the world, all of the systems of oppression that exist. You seem to see the world as a war of resources. I can only speak for myself here. There is enough resources on this planet for everyone and a shitload extra. Liberals are fighting the war of idealogy, that some should have everything, and others suffer because they lost the war. You, buttshitkicker, seem to think that war is inevitable, and in my view, you therefore help to create that reality. The “war on terror”, what is your, our, our country’s contribution to the world to make terrorists a reality? Could we have contributed something to the conflict? In my view, yes, we have. We have contributed a great deal to making the world a place where you view we have to fight enemies. That is the essential difference between my liberal thought and you. I’m not saying Hitler was a nice man. What I am saying is, what are the circumstances, thought patterns that we still have today, that contributed to Hitler coming to power? That is what we are trying to change.

  25. SAAM March 30, 2008 at 3:51 AM #

    This is the best blog ever, what with NineDeuce’s expert writings and opinions and with Buttkicker69 entertaining, if misspelled, comments!! (He has a very large penis, you know. All is right with the world.)

  26. hellonhairylegs March 30, 2008 at 5:49 AM #

    I dunno, it seems like you’re still the joke buttkicker. It amazes me how you can continue the parody so flawlessly without making yourself sick with the idiocy of it all. I mean stating “I’m not stupid” and then disproving that in the next sentence, damn you’re good.

    Damn those church floors are hard; I’ll have bruises for weeks. Sacrificing a few men here and there just isn’t enough anymore for all that evil witch healing power. Any of my feminazi friends know if burning playboy works as a surrogate sacrifice? I’m running low on athame fodder at the moment.

  27. Feminist Avatar March 30, 2008 at 11:16 AM #

    Well it means that he can ‘relate’ to women. Which is good. Cause the words aren’t doing it.

    or maybe we’re not women! Yes! The distinction of gender has finally been abolished! The aims of the feminist movement achieved! And all because of a big penis.

  28. Feminist Avatar March 30, 2008 at 11:52 AM #

    Also in the interests of historically accurate trolling, can I point out that c.50 million PEOPLE died in WW2- over 2/3 of that number were civilians including men, women and children.

  29. syndicalist702 March 31, 2008 at 4:57 PM #

    hey, “buttkicker” I said I was heterosexual. My wife of ten years would beg to differ with your comments. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things. Funny to see how rabid the privileged get when their privilege is challenged. Feminists just want their fair share of prosperity us white men take for granted. I don’t see what the big problem is with them getting it.

    So, how do you relate to women with your large penis? Club them with it? Puhleeze. Get an education, man up, and stop crying about the fact that you’re losing a smidgen of your privilege.

    By the way, I’m totally down with killing off some rapists, but I’d rather go after the ideology behind their actions.

  30. syndicalist702 March 31, 2008 at 4:59 PM #

    also, bellyacher69… what’s the problem with man-bashing? It’s not like we’ve done a jam-up job of running the planet exactly. And don’t even get me started on the flaws of “libertarianism” and free-market fundamentalism.

  31. Drakkar Noir March 31, 2008 at 7:23 PM #

    Hi, I stumbled onto this website in search of good porn and instead I found a bunch of sexually supressed man-haters (incl. the uber-wuss Syndicalist702). It’s a real crying game why women have so many problems with their beavers. If it’s not a yeast infection it’s menstration, if it’s not menstration it’s stress, etc. etc. etc. Get a real job and then tell me about your problems! I wish for one second I could watch soap operas or wash clothes, but I can’t because I gotta fucking work. I gotta fucking work so you can get your nails done and go shopping at JC Penny’s. Women are nothing but perpetual complainers. You freaks even complain about complaining. Now go back to watching Dallas or whatever-the-fuck-mindless-shit y’all watch and stop complaining for a change.

    • Hoyahead October 17, 2009 at 6:11 AM #

      Hey, Drakkar Noir–

      I flew search-and-rescue helicopters in the military for nine years, made two combat deployments in support of OIF and OEF, and earned an Air Medal for my troubles.

      Both I and my “beaver” thought it kind of seemed like a “real job.”

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 10:04 AM #

      Thank you, I love having a job, so I have the choice to not marry a loser like yourself. As for the people of whom you speak so kindly, I think those are the individuals you choose for yourself. Who is at fault?

  32. Drakkar Noir March 31, 2008 at 7:59 PM #

    Also, women can’t take the heat that man is subjected to on a daily basis. The only heat women experience is from a skillet.

    • sweetlady September 8, 2009 at 7:51 AM #

      That was funny douchebag, now let me tell u something, I am the only woman that works at my job, I tell the men what to do && how to do it, I raise my two boys on my own plus I’m pregnant with my third. I do it by my self because most “men” don’t know what it’s like to be men, so they run like bitches. I hope u find ur porn, dumb ass, && tell palmette and her 5 sisters to treat u well mr. Lonely man. Maybe one day you’ll actually charm a woman into sleeping with u.

      • Imaginary November 11, 2009 at 9:22 PM #

        Whoa. I don’t know who you are, but I’m really impressed. Raising kids on your own and being the only womyn in your job has got to be tough, but you do it. Bravo!

        Congratulations on your new baby.

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 10:42 AM #

      Men can “take the heat”. And yet, here you are, bellyaching.

  33. Nine Deuce March 31, 2008 at 9:30 PM #

    I’m torn. Should I let my comments sections turn into joke-a-thons?

    • C October 6, 2013 at 1:31 PM #

      I like buttkicker69’s comments

  34. Davetavius April 1, 2008 at 12:41 AM #

    Absolutely, so long as it remains funny. How will Buttkicker 69 learn if he isn’t given an opportunity to be a part of the debate? I think he may come around yet.

  35. Buttkicker 69 April 1, 2008 at 6:26 AM #


    • somethingsilly September 23, 2009 at 1:53 AM #

      Hey buttlicker69,

      If there was a God, which I doubt, I would pray to her that you would find it in your heart to cut it with the fucking caps lock. Your posts make my eyes water.

  36. syndicalist702 April 1, 2008 at 1:27 PM #

    drakkar – You call me a wuss, but you name yourself after a cologne? Wow. Civilization has hit a new low. I won’t even entertain your assumption about me, because you don’t know me from Adam. You have assumed just because I don’t buy your it’s-a-man’s-world-women-are-men’s-fuckpuppets mentality that somehow I’m less of a man, or that I’m *chuckle* gay. Talk to me when you’ve done something, okay? Wait, nevermind. That would require thinking on your part, and that’d be too much effort for a guy like yourself. The day you and your ilk can prove that I’m less of a man is the day you’ll actually have a leg to stand on as far as arguments go. But, then – just maybe – I’ll just kick that one out from under you, too. Whatcha think about that? I defend a woman’s right to be considered more that a fuck toy, more than the person who wipes your lazy ass for you, and more than the porn slaves you were searching for. I’m willing to do it with my fists if necessary. Manhood, to me, is about justice, fairness, self-control, and balance – four things traditional manhood gives little more than lip service to. Traditional manhood isn’t manhood at all. It’s the adult form of boyhood. If you can’t hang with the big dogs, stay your little ass on the porch.

    buttwhiner – listen, pal, it’s not about bashing men, okay. It’s about challenging the patriarchy (look that up, if you can put down your beer and pretzels long enough) and about the somehow radical notion that *gasp* women are human and equal to men. I don’t hate you, or anyone. I just hate the way some people think. This every-one-for-themselves mentality should have died with early humans. If you’re offended by fifty percent of our species wanting fair treatment from the other fifty, you’re thinking is the problem, not mine. And what’s all this talk about homosexuality. If I’m not mistaken, you’re the only one that brought that up. I smell a straw man. I also smell insecurity. Who’s emasculated now? Tactics like that are no way to conduct discourse. Tactics like that won’t get you out of a wet paper bag if you have a pair of scissors and a box cutter. Turn down the caps and turn up your hearing aid, even if you don’t like what you hear.

  37. syndicalist702 April 1, 2008 at 1:29 PM #

    drakkar – Sexually suppressed, hunh? I’m not the one who needs porn to get off.

    But I digress.

  38. Drakkar Noir April 1, 2008 at 4:31 PM #

    Don’t even get me started about how Eve ruined eternal paradise for ALL mankind. I’m sure reading the Bible and not shaving your legs don’t mesh well. I’m not sexist. I just think if women want an even playing field (which is ok) then accept the harsh conditions that are associated. What about child support? Gross majority of court cases enable the mother full custody without warrant simply because of sex. Income differentials: most state laws empower the mother, regardless of self-made income, rights to a grossly disproportionate share (dare I say) of the husband’s wealth. I guess we’ll have to change all of that too, huh?

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 10:49 AM #

      Do these issues of custody, and marital and family law really upset you or are you just trying to have something to say?

  39. Drakkar Noir April 1, 2008 at 5:19 PM #

    I would like to know what you all think about the statement: “Men are generally more intelligent than women.” In my opinion, in general, women are far superior to men emotionally and even communicatively. That said, men are generally better problem solvers/logical thinkers. No shit that these generalizations are cliche as fuck, but it does make me wonder if these are indeed true, what’s more important…logic or emotion?

    • truthvscompliance October 14, 2009 at 3:04 PM #

      haha, that is the biggest load of horse shit. When I took structural geology (which is physics of rock movement – for the slow men on here) – I had the top score in my class. When I took physics – I had better grades than all of the guys who had to go for extra help after school. When I took stats, algebra and calculus – guys were looking to ME for help. So take your assumptions about how men are better problem solvers and take a hike! I’m living, walking proof that it isn’t true. Anyone who understands logic would realize that a guy who needs porn to get it up, is the one who is sexually repressed.

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 10:53 AM #

      Men are not better problem solvers/ logical thinkers. You see yourselves that way because, I presume, you’re satisfied with the answers you come up with to your own questions.

  40. Drakkar Noir April 2, 2008 at 7:30 PM #

    syndicalist702 – I never called you gay because you’re not, yet. This new low for civilization that you write about isn’t new. It started during the 1960’s and it’s known as “male hyper-sensitive behavior syndrome”. M.H.S.B. was started by hippies and circus sideshow freaks for comedic entertainment. Fast forward thirty years to the 1990’s and you see the emergence of metro-sexuality, males with lactating glands, and mainstream adoration for R.E.M. You were probably mentally soft and extremely impressionable during these times, which is why you weeped yourself to sleep to the voice of Michael Stipe singing about losing his religion and replacing it with guy-liner or Billy Corgan wimpering about being rats that are inside of cages. So now your a man in his thirties vehemently campaigning for women’s rights as a pathetic attempt to lose your virginity to some confused 18-year old bisexual teen with a penchant for rainy days and 30-year old men that still carry mace on their keychains. That’s what I call a new low for civilization my friend. You’re better off being gay.

    Justice, fairness, self-control, and balance? Are you fucking kidding me? That seriously sounds like a Channel 5 Eyewitness News intro. If you’re going to pick virtues out of a Danielle Steele novel, at least pick the ones that involve something more interesting. You seemed to forget being a man meant having a penis, too. I’d say that was more critical to being a man than…fairness. I’m really sorry if I hurt your feelings; I guess the world really is a vampire.

    • terry August 6, 2013 at 11:15 AM #

      Justice, fairness, self-control, and balance. These are high ideals worthy of aspiration. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t find them to be so. Being a man means having a penis? What does that mean to you? That being a man means having to force others to do things your way because you know best? Well, that is what we are trying to change. So yes, we are polar opposite on that point. As for your caricature of what you think us on the other side are about, it’s too bad that you think humane ideals are so worthless. In a world where force is the main engine, then yes, I guess to you, humane ideals are worthless.

  41. synidicalist702 April 2, 2008 at 11:55 PM #

    sorry, nine-deuce, I get a little militant here.

    drakkar… you have no idea who I am. Not even the foggiest smidgen of a clue. *shrug* I proudly don’t even fit into a mold you hate. REM played out by the time they made MTV. Oh, and a father of two, trying to lose his virginity? Wow. News to me.

    I have adequate enough manhood that I don’t have to use my strength to hurt other people, unless it’s in my defense. I don’t need pepper spray. That’s what the Marine Corps training and Nevada’s concealed carry laws do for me.

    As for you, non-friend, what is more pathetic: (a) a strong father of two who uses his strength and talents to help others or (b) a whiny loser shithead who needs porn to get off and just can’t resist hating on other people instead of dealing with his own insecurity. That’s allright, though. I ain’t mad at ya. Think what you want to. Just don’t waste your time trying to convince me. Especially seeing as you haven’t the maturity of a twelve year old or the sense god gave a billy goat. With the justice, fairness, self-control, and balance, no. I’m not kidding. These are basic principles of true strength. Something a weakling like you wouldn’t understand. The only threat to what you call “civilization” is your inability to hold on to your tyranny. I’ll have pity on you, soon as the boot tracks clear off of your forehead. Better yet, I won’t do anything to you. I look and act just like any other guy, save the anti-misogynist comments I make to my coworkers. They’re starting to listen, which makes me an infiltrator.

    Before you bullshit yourself, son, at least know your enemy.

  42. Nine Deuce April 3, 2008 at 12:55 AM #

    You guys sure are dudes.

  43. syndicalist702 April 3, 2008 at 12:42 PM #

    Yeah, I know. :-)

  44. Ian April 23, 2008 at 1:13 PM #

    Not the same Iain as left the first comment… nothing wrong with a good bit of well placed anger.

    Excellent blog.

    The caps lock commenter has to be on a wind-up.

    Love to know your views on Martin Luther King.

  45. jack April 24, 2008 at 7:46 PM #

    Oh no! Not getting paid to have sex! What devious mind could think of a more sadistic torture than offering money to stick a phallus in a vagina and film it so people can masturbate to the sexual imagery and feel good!?

    Only in our ridiculous puritanical society can sex be considered degrading. It’s ironic that you base a part of your feminism on an ancient idea of sex as dirty and evil to insinuate that paying women to be involved in it is some how subjugating them. And then you say the idea of sexual liberation is some kind of male trick to see more skin or something? Ridiculous. Seeing threats and veiled plots against you everywhere is a classic sign of paranoia. You and Joseph Stalin would probably get along. You and he could come up with some kind of crazy hybrid plot where capitalist males are trying to repress the proletariat so that women can’t afford things and have to be involved in prostitution or something.

    • Poo May 12, 2009 at 10:11 PM #

      Jack, now try to see this from a fat girl’s point of view.

    • truthvscompliance October 14, 2009 at 3:10 PM #

      If you think the kinds of things women are doing in popular porn are “normal” sexual behavior – than why aren’t straight women stuffing strap-ons up a man’s ass and then forcing him to lick it off after? I mean – if men want to argue that it is liberating to do those types of things – than why aren’t they lining up to have them done to them?

  46. Nine Deuce April 24, 2008 at 8:02 PM #

    Jack, when men are reduced to their “fuckability” in our society, you can start telling women what they should and shouldn’t see as misogynistic. My premise here, and I know it’s radical, is that women are just as human as men are, and are thus entitled to expect to be treated with dignity.

    I never said sex is dirty or evil. If you had read my post, you would see that I make every argument that sex is an integral and healthy part of life, but that it has been warped and damaged by the reduction of human interaction to female subjugation and male domination. Sex isn’t degrading, but one-sided sex that centers around men’s pleasure and ignores women’s humanity is. If porn were just people having sex, I’d have a much weaker objection to it, but it isn’t. It’s women’s bodies being used by men, it’s women being treated poorly, it’s women’s humanity being ignored. Read my 4th post on porn if you want my opinion on that.

    Pro-porn types always want to paint feminists who are against female exploitation as part of the puritanical set within the religious right. There IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANTING TO BE TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING RATHER THAN A FUCKTOY AND BEING ANTI-SEX. Write that shit down. I’m fucking TIRED of repeating it.

  47. weedivine May 7, 2008 at 8:03 PM #

    Omg, this is fantastic. The buttkicker comments are amazing, I actually laughed out loud! When you think you’ve heard it all… and thanks to Hellon hairylegs- I loved your description on the place of anger. Great, great thread :) Oh, and I’m off to get laid to ease some of my feminazi anger, great suggestion.

  48. Eye June 14, 2008 at 7:21 AM #

    Now that I’ve taken the time to read through your about, I’ll have to agree that you are, well, pretty angsty. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The fact that you have strong feelings for the subject is good; it means you’ll have the necessaries to be able to motivate yourself to do more about it than most people who spend 5 minutes considering their role in a society of gender discrimination and then shrug and say “well that’s the way things have always been I guess some things just never chance.” The complacency and noncommittal admition of apathy to the whole situation on grounds that it’s too difficult to change is what really pisses me off.

  49. Aoife June 16, 2008 at 1:32 PM #

    This blog is frikkin awesome. Angry women rule. I especially like the fact that you’re using the space to invite people to change their minds, rather than explicitly preaching to the converted. There’s lots of awesome blogs for the angry feminists. This one pretty much explains why so many feminists are angry, in accessible and sharp language. You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.

  50. zombie z June 18, 2008 at 3:44 PM #

    Hey Ms. Deuce– I am writing an anti-pornography essay for my summer Comp II class and am using your porn series as a reference. (Yes, I have a totally kick-ass feminsit professor who is cool with me using blogs as a source!) I’m basically telling you this because I was wondering how you preferred to be referred to. Should I just call you “the blogger known as Nine Deuce” or would you like a real name (or other alias) for my works cited, etc? Feel free to email me, and if the essay doesn’t end up totally sucking, I’ll be posting it on my blog. ;)

  51. Nine Deuce June 18, 2008 at 4:29 PM #

    zombie z – Either way is fine with me. If you’d rather I give you my real name, let me know your e-mail address. Good luck on the paper! I’d really be interested in reading it.

  52. Eye June 19, 2008 at 2:28 AM #

    :P I figured you’d appreciate this.

    A rather honest depiction of my generation, sadly.

  53. Eye June 19, 2008 at 2:29 AM #

    “You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.”

    Is that a euphemism for “reaffirm my own beliefs”?

  54. Dan Holzman-Tweed June 24, 2008 at 7:14 PM #

    This is satire, right? I mean, what else permits the phrases “most retarded of readers” and “I’m an ethical person who cares about people’s feelings” to coexist? The possibility that either is a joke, as you allude to in your PS, doesn’t resolve the paradox; unless it’s your claim to ethics and caring that contains the humor.

  55. Nine Deuce June 25, 2008 at 9:51 PM #

    There is no paradox. I can frequently be found making fun of myself, of other people (by assuming their writing style or by pretending to be insanely arrogant), and of some of my less thoughtful readers. It seems that plenty of people are unable to pick it up at times, but that’s not my problem.

  56. Aoife June 26, 2008 at 12:45 PM #

    Eye: nah, it’s me saying that Nine Deuce’s articulate writing and well-thought out arguments have helped me to frame my own emotions and opinions around particular aspects of gender, feminism and oppression against a backdrop that I can relate to, and wasn’t previously aware of.

    Hey, Eye:

    ““You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.”

    Is that a euphemism for “reaffirm my own beliefs”? :P”

    Is that a euphemism for ‘I’m a smartarse’? : P

  57. Sin Nombre June 29, 2008 at 3:28 PM #

    I like this blog, and I’ll tell you why.

    It’s not just because it proposes the most sensible and well researched ideas dealing with feminism I’ve ever come across, or because I tend to agree with a large majority of it. Or even because the focus on media is, I think, the best way for people to actually be able to see practical misogyny.

    I like it because of the brilliantly ironic, self aware arrogance. It’s genuine, full frontal confidence, presented with a smirk. And it perfectly shoots down any opposing argument that isn’t meticulously researched and well presented, or laced with a tone of condescension. It’s rare to find in the world of weblogs.

    As a note, after I re-read this post, I realised (oops, gave away that I’m not American) that it’s completely devoid of humour. Which is a shame, as the rest of the page is hilarious and I had to go all serious. Carry on.

  58. L July 6, 2008 at 5:53 PM #

    Hey, Nine Deuce. I thought I’d let you and your readers (who aren’t assholes or BUTTKICKER 69!!!1) know about a new radfem discussion/consciousness-raising forum I created this weekend. You can read more about it at my blog or just go over and join here. It’s in the style of the IBTP forum, but I believe it will work out quite differently than that forum. So, I hope you join!


  59. Dana July 12, 2008 at 7:35 PM #

    I seriously love, love, LOVE this page. I agree with probably 80 to 90 percent of what’s stated here, if not more.

    I wanted to comment on the modesty thing, though: it depends on the reasons stated for encouraging modesty. I am not sure I would veil myself at this point; it’s just too damn inconvenient. But it’s also possible to see clothing as a privacy issue. I mean, if I don’t want some random strange guy grabbin’ mah girls, why would I want to show them to him either, even just the tops of them or what they’re shaped like? It’s not as much of a concern for me as it used to be because I don’t live up to patriarchal standards on boob beauty these days. (Which is interesting in light of the fact that many cultures/religions calling for feminine modesty don’t require it as stringently in older women, who tend to also be post-childbearing.) But I don’t understand women who get all bent out of shape when some guy hollers at them but *at the same time* want to walk around practically naked–if he’s a creep, why do you want him *looking* at you? It’s their right if it’s what they want, it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

    As for socio-political movements, you ought to check out the human rewilding movement. I haven’t gotten totally immersed in it yet, but so far I have been encouraged at the way even the male bloggers talk about women’s issues as though they are just an everyday part of life. I don’t mean, “hey, jump into this movement, it’s TOTALLY THERE MAN!!”, but seriously, have a look at what they have to say. It’s pretty amazing. Jared Diamond isn’t a blogger but has inspired rewilders through his essays and books, and he talks about how the evidence points to forager cultures being gender-egalitarian and how the advent of agriculture led to women being treated like beasts of burden. I want to read Daniel Quinn’s stuff too. If you just want to see blogs, the Anthropik Network (, I think?) and Urban Scout ( are decent places to start.

  60. L July 12, 2008 at 8:56 PM #

    But I don’t understand women who get all bent out of shape when some guy hollers at them but *at the same time* want to walk around practically naked — if he’s a creep, why do you want him *looking* at you? It’s their right if it’s what they want, it just doesn’t make any sense to me.

    Dana, the problem is that men act like they’re entitled to critique women’s bodies no matter what women wear or don’t wear. Women who “walk around practically naked” have nothing more or less to fear from the male gaze than women who wear veils. Keep the blame where it belongs, on patriarchy and men, not on women.

  61. Dana July 13, 2008 at 8:08 AM #

    Ginmar on A View From A Broad has sometimes said that men are not natural disasters and that women should not have to live as though preparing for said disasters. In the meta-sense she is absolutely right. On a day to day level when you actually have to live with this shit–and she has, and so have I, and I bet you have too–nobody likes to stand out in an empty, treeless field and be hit by lightning. None of us control the lightning. None of us make it hit us. The worst part is we have to be out in that field if we want to have any kind of public life at all–and worse yet, the fucking lightning is intelligent and knows exactly what it’s doing.

    So, what to do? Make friends with the folks at the local burn unit and hope you are alive to say Hi to them next time you drop by? Carry a lightning rod out into the field with you? Wear rubber armor? What?

    It is one thing to spout theory about this, to say “it’s all men’s fault”–it IS all men’s fault, and the male gaze IS the problem. Quite another to leave it at the spouting of the theory and to ignore the fact that we cannot change men’s hearts and minds for them, and that meanwhile men are still hurting women and we need clear answers for coping with that fact.

    For some women coping takes the form of covering up. Not me necessarily, I wear large t-shirts and baggy jeans and sometimes a hat, and I think it’s too damn hot to veil. And there are lots of different ways to be modest, even so–it varies from religion to religion and culture to culture, and even members of the same faith or culture may have different interpretations.

    But this is how they cope. And I’m beyond tired of seeing feminists give them crap about it. Especially when no viable alternative ever seems to be offered. It’s never, “You’re oppressed if you have to veil. Here, do this instead and you’ll still feel like your privacy is protected.” I’ve been reading feminist blogs for years now and I haven’t seen anything yet other than “We have to change their culture so they don’t have to do this anymore,” which carries its own set of cultural imperialist baggage, and again, you can’t change anyone’s heart or mind. They have to do it themselves. That’s true everywhere–even when men are pushy and are bullies and try to bend women and minorities to their will, the truth is that they only get us to act differently, not necessarily to think differently. Which is why we have feminist and other liberation movements at all. It works the other way too–you could get guys to act just the way you want them to. But number one, that smacks of women having to take responsibility for men. Number two, they will resent being controlled even if we were to miraculously manage it, and their little acts of subversion would be harmful to us.

    So… *throws hands up* I don’t know. I *do* see feminists, especially radfems, often say after some nasty piece of news or another that they no longer want to associate with men. What’s the difference between that and not letting men see all of what you look like, I wonder? It’s still reacting to them. On the other hand, what else can we do? This is an honest question. If none of us can’t answer it–and I sure as hell can’t–then maybe we should give women room to figure out their own coping mechanisms, because when we get on some women’s cases about veiling or wearing long dresses, we’re doing the same damn thing the construction worker does when he whistles at us as we walk by.

    • Klaire September 22, 2014 at 10:49 AM #

      the sad part is we can’t literally do anything- damned if you, do damned if you don’t.
      Womens’s coping mechanisms? Eating disorders, self-harm, low self-esteem and all were at some point and keep being fueled by comments man made about our bodies since childhood. If you call them out on it, it was obviously “just a joke” “don’t listen to everything I say” their little passive aggressive opt-outs. how about I stop taking you seriously altogether since you can’t be a mature, respectful human being. Then they self-implode.
      A much better coping mechanism would be to adopt their behavior and spout bullshit back at them like “hey small dick” “eww short guy” but of course we’d quickly be reprimanded by other women that that’s “not ladylike” or worse and much more common we’d be taking some knuckles to the face because the menz are threatened and need to self-defend. It’s not like their mindgames are power enough over us.

  62. Lara July 20, 2008 at 1:18 AM #

    Hey Nine Deuce

    Can I add you to my blogroll? Thanks!

  63. Nine Deuce July 20, 2008 at 1:42 AM #

    Of course. I already put you on mine.

  64. Screaming Lemur July 20, 2008 at 6:06 PM #

    My blogroll, you are on it. Thx for commenting on my blog.
    Still waiting for my very own troll to mock- you have such fun ones on here!

  65. Maggie Hays July 28, 2008 at 1:46 AM #

    Nice new header you got, Nine! :)

  66. Nine Deuce July 28, 2008 at 1:49 AM #

    Thanks! It has a secret significance, which I’ll be revealing on Thursday.

  67. mosdef July 29, 2008 at 3:20 AM #

    hey is that you in the banner? You’re pretty hot for a feminist.

  68. Nine Deuce July 29, 2008 at 3:56 AM #

    So funny I forgot to laugh.

  69. mosdef July 29, 2008 at 7:28 AM #

    Wasn’t trying to be funny. You’ve got very feminine and beautiful hands, arms, legs. Can we see the rest of you?

  70. Nine Deuce July 29, 2008 at 7:48 AM #

    First off, that isn’t me. It’s a very sophisticated joke. Second, are you fucking serious? You’re going to come to a radical feminist’s blog and say some shit like that?

  71. mosdef July 29, 2008 at 8:35 AM #

    sorry I just stumbled on your blog. I didn’t read it but I will read it now. I just thought if you were posing with the caption “sexiest women…”, you would be happy to receive compliments. But I guess that’s not you.

  72. Nine Deuce July 29, 2008 at 3:31 PM #

    It says “sexist women.”

  73. L July 29, 2008 at 4:10 PM #

    Hahaha, I can’t believe that conversation actually happened. mosdef can’t be for real. Wow.

  74. Nine Deuce July 29, 2008 at 4:14 PM #

    I was worried that a lot of people wouldn’t pick up on the joke in the picture. I mean, it’s like the most apt spelling mistake of all time. Oh well. I have a new banner photo on its way.

  75. Sally July 29, 2008 at 9:34 PM #

    “It says “sexist women.””



    I misread it as well. XP I thought you were going to make some ironic post about it or something. This is what I get for skim reading.

  76. Aoife August 1, 2008 at 4:03 PM #

    Hey 9-2, do you mind if I stick your blog in my blogroll? It’s a fembloggg….

  77. Nine Deuce August 1, 2008 at 6:02 PM #

    Aoife – Go for it. Let me know the URL so I can come check you out.

  78. Aoife August 7, 2008 at 1:39 AM #

    Ah awesome, thanks. It’s

    It’s little crude, tame, lame, whatevs. But she’s mine, and I love her. *sniff*

  79. Ψ*Ψ August 28, 2008 at 11:19 PM #

    Your arguments are pretty solid, and I can appreciate what you’re saying although I don’t necessarily agree with all of them. Can you leave the hormonal contraceptives alone, though? Of course they don’t work for everyone, and there are a few health risks, but a fair number of women have less-than-optimally-functional-uteruses (uteri?). Without the OC I’m stuck bleeding once a month, which also entails being in intense pain and unable to move for two weeks. With it, I haven’t had to go through that for about three years.

  80. Kate September 1, 2008 at 2:31 AM #

    Wow. I stumbled across this site, and I’m so impressed, Nine Deuce. When I hear words like “cougar” and “whore” I get furious, but usually end up saying something equivalent to: “it’s not fair!”
    You are certainly very eloquent and well read. I hope you won’t mind if I poach your language/logic to explain to my friends why words like this hurt us all.
    I’m 29 and was jokingly (hahaha) called a cougar by my 35 year old boyfriend’s friend. This made my head want to explode. Thanks for helping me be able to tell someone why.

  81. Kate September 1, 2008 at 2:34 AM #

    Oh, oh, and did buttkicker really say that ‘blacks have become mainly good members of society’? Wow. His comments really amuse/scare me. Amuse me, because it’s so cute when dumb people try to think. Scare me, because he probably has so many contemporaries.

  82. Nine Deuce September 1, 2008 at 2:52 AM #

    BUTTKICKER is certainly amusing. Feel free to poach anything you like. I’m sure I’ve poached plenty.

  83. Nine Deuce September 12, 2008 at 2:51 AM #

    I’m not saying hormonal birth control ought to be outlawed, just that I’m tired of birth control being women’s responsibility and that I’m tired of the expectation that women ought to take on health risks when there may be options for male birth control with less disruptive and dangerous side effects.

  84. atheist woman September 21, 2008 at 7:42 PM #

    By the way Nine Deuce, thank you so much for the link. I realize my first comment here sounded a bit trollish/condescending. :/.

  85. atheist woman September 21, 2008 at 7:43 PM #

    Urg, I meant other comment, not first comment.

  86. Lindsay November 10, 2008 at 8:58 PM #


    Let’s just say that I laughed my ass off… leaving it readily available for a good licking, perhaps?

    Nine Deuce, it’s been said before, but I’d like the privilege of saying it again: You truly are a good writer, entertain, engaging and informative. I’m glad you’re here and taking the time to write, and you’re clearly saying the right things if you’re pissing off the MRAs! It reminds me of something Alfred Guinon said. “When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.” This may just be the opinion of one teen feminist, but you’re dead on.

  87. Lindsay November 10, 2008 at 8:59 PM #

    Oh I’m sorry! I meant Albert Guinon, the French playwright.

  88. Jo December 3, 2008 at 11:28 AM #

    Just dropping a note to let you know I’m linking you (from

    One of these days I’m going to have the fortitude to publish MRA posts that make points for me. Right now they live in the moderation queue.

  89. anon January 14, 2009 at 1:37 AM #

    I almost fell out of my chair laughing hysterically at the all caps guy and the cologne guy. I’d like to see either of them in my shoes for a single day and see how well 1) they do at solving all the complex problems I deal with on a daily basis, and 2) dealing with my particular brand of “heat”. Good luck. I’ll be watching Dallas and getting my nails done in the call room.

    @all caps: BTW, Im a doc in training, so if you are ever in need of some gut surgery you should thank your lucky stars that even though I’m black I’m “mainly” a good member of society. You never know though…

  90. Noel January 30, 2009 at 6:27 AM #

    Hm… I don’t agree with everything but I like your style!

    There should be more porn aimed at women. Like, if there was a porn staring a guy that looked like Cillian Murphy, I’d be happy as a clam.

  91. James February 10, 2009 at 4:27 PM #

    “Porn isn’t cool. It’s a symptom of the fact that we live in a patriarchy,”

    Including gay porn?

  92. Crazy Elf February 25, 2009 at 4:10 AM #

    It’s really good that you’ve decided to fight the power by using a blog theme that was created by a man. You go sister!

  93. Tom March 5, 2009 at 1:49 PM #

    I’d like to state at the outset that I’m not consciously in this to insult, patronise or otherwise demean anyone. If my male socialised unconcious undermines my efforts at ‘coming in peace’ then I can only apologise for being all too human.

    Right, so this feminism gig – I have a problem with it. My itch is this: feminism is supposed to be about attaining equality, but I don’t get what exactly this equality is supposed to consist in.

    Is it an aspiration to numerical equality of representation in board rooms, houses of parliament etc? Well all the numbers seem to be showing that the number of women in business, law etc is increasing all the time. Women, generally, have the same opportunities to do well professionally as guys and, as far as I can see, they’re taking those opportunities. How is it reasonable to ask for anything more?

    Is it an aspiration to equality of portrayal in the media culture generally? I don’t know what an ‘equal’ portrayal would look like or if such a notion even makes sense. But perhaps what is meant is ‘a portrayal of women not for men’. I’d suggest that the current portrayal is not just for men. As has been said, women consume their media image as much as men which means that it’s an image that attracts them. You can be pissed at this state of affairs and wish society had a different image of women, but that isn’t a fight for equality, that’s plain old politics – trying to make other people think what you think. That’s fine, and maybe even ‘right’ or ‘good’, but it’s not ‘a fight for equality’.

    Is it an aspiration to equality of treatment? I think it’s fair to say that many men are pretty nasty to women. It’s also fair to say that many women are nasty to men. And to women for that matter. Human beings are often unpleasant to one another. I’d guess that, on ballance, men are more nasty to women than women are to men (possibly because they’re inherrently, phisiologically nastier, possibly because they have more opportunities, probably both). But you don’t have to be a feminist to have a problem with this particular form of human nastiness. I’d say it’s a part of my male identity to have a problem with violence against women just as it’s a part of the feminist identity to have that problem. Gender equality doesn’t seem to make much sense in this context either. Gender equality in violence how? Men and women should be equally violent to each other?

    I can’t say I’ve given much thought to the above, but I’d be interested in feedback.


    • Nine Deuce March 5, 2009 at 3:38 PM #

      I’m not about equality (I don’t particularly want to be equal to men – doesn’t that presume I aspire to cultural maleness? How arrogant.), I’m about liberation. My main focus isn’t on representation, it’s on persuading people that women are human, and that our chief worth and identity ought not be defined by how many men want to pork us. Read around and you’ll see what I’m talking about. I suggest my greatest hits according to me, which you’ll find on the right. I’m not going to write a manifesto for you, but I’ve basically got one already written, so read it.

      • Tom March 7, 2009 at 12:52 PM #

        Ok, cool, I’m not too keen on equality either. I don’t really know what equality would mean you’d aspire to – that’s my point.

        As to worth defined as a function of men wanting to pork you, I can see where you’re coming from, but I’m not so sure where you’re going. Men will always want to pork women (and vice versa). It’s what human beings do and it’s pretty important to us as a species. You probably don’t have beef with this, so I guess your problem is with the extent to which sex defines our society and culture, right?

        I’ll hazard an explaination – sex is easy. We can all do it and it’s important to the majority of us, certainly to the vast majority of men, but I’d guess to the majority of women too (I could be wrong). Nothing else is so easily accessible to so many of us. Nothing else pushes so many buttons simultaneously, as such I’d say that sex, as a defining feauture of our society, is here to stay. That means that most people will try to make themselves attractive to the opposite sex where they can most of the time. It’s important to most people to be sexy.

        Sex can be pretty crass, superficial and, yes, destructive and guys are probably more prone to these negative sides of sex than girls. But the way to fight these negative sides of sex has got to have more to do with promoting and demonstrating the superiority of the positive sides of sex than with pouring vitriol on the negative sides right?

        Now I’ve been controvertial, and I don’t want you to think that I think that I can’t appreciate that there’s a lot in the negative side of sex to get vitriolic about, what I’m saying is that you’re not going to kill a form of sexuality by raging at it – better (and more effective) to show that it’s an inferior, pitiful form of sexulaity through advancing the positive sides of sex, no?

        • Nine Deuce March 7, 2009 at 4:35 PM #

          You’re missing something: women’s worth as human beings is determined by our sexual attractiveness in this society. That is, our usefulness to men. That’s the problem, not sex in and of itself.

          • Tess March 8, 2009 at 5:56 PM #

            I wonder if Janet Reno would agree with that.

            • Nine Deuce March 8, 2009 at 6:26 PM #

              Come on, Tess. You know that our culture tells women over and over that their #1 source of worth lies in their physical appearance. Janet Reno knows it, too. Or I suppose you’ve never heard any jokes about her appearance?

              • Tom March 8, 2009 at 11:04 PM #

                How about my last reply? Where’s that disappeared to?

                • Nine Deuce March 8, 2009 at 11:07 PM #

                  Fuck off, Tom. I’m not discussing sexual politics with someone who is so invested in male privilege that he can’t see that the objectification and commodification of women is a result of misogyny. If you care to know what I think (which I doubt), see my category “Be Fuckable or Die.” It’s on the right.

  94. pinaki das March 8, 2009 at 8:04 AM #

    i cant say i have fully understood you, Nine Deuce, but i am reading and learning every day. you write very well, way better than i could ever hope to.

    i just want to tell you that your writing makes me look up to you in awe and admiration. It would give me a sense of worth if i could assist you ever, in any capacity, someday.

    i am a male, from kolkata, india. and a writer of the lowliest kind – advertising copywriter.

    • Nine Deuce March 8, 2009 at 6:29 PM #

      Thanks! I’ve been to Kolkata. It’s a very interesting city. And writing copy can be a good thing, can’t it? It’s good practice for adjectives and whatnot, and it’s also kind of funny sometimes. I often laugh when I read shampoo bottles and think I should write copy for a living to amuse myself.

      • pinaki das March 8, 2009 at 7:30 PM #

        ha, i say it’s bad because it makes me sell things that i dont believe should even be sold. like preservatives, mobile phones and other carcinogens. but that’s not what your blog is about, so i stop right there.

        your writing has a greater purpose. makes my existence seem meaningless in comparison.

        very good to learn you’v travelled this way. hope to get to meet you the second time you’re around!

  95. harmony March 30, 2009 at 4:36 AM #

    ok, i don’t want to come across as a kiss-ass. but i don’t know if i can help myself.

    i just read your anti-bdsm series. it rocked. you are one of my fucking heroes now and here is why.

    i am a huge critic of bdsm, and until very recently i have felt very alone and alienated about this. (i still kinda do, because in ‘real life’ i have only one person in my circle of friends who agrees with me. the others who feel similarly i’ve found on the internet, people like you.)

    i’m a women’s studies major in my final year of undergrad. everytime the issue of bdsm comes up in class, i raise my hand and speak my mind. and everytime, several of my ‘feminist’ peers raise their hands and disagree with me. some get offended. some call me a sex-negative puritan. some call me a bigot, no better than a homophobe. and they all go on and on about how subversive bdsm is.

    not once has someone put their hand up to say she agrees with me. twice people have put their hand up and said “i agree with harmony, but…” and then proceeded to say the ways in which they disagree, which makes me wonder what the hell it is they agree with me about.

    last year this drove me to a very low emotional state. one of my larger classes (over a hundred) had an email listserv. i spent weeks immersed in the same kinds of arguments you see going on in your comments sections. only the argument wasn’t evenly matched in terms of who was on what side. it was literally me versus everyone else with anything to say. (i did get my fellow anti-bdsm friend, who wasn’t in the class, to join the listserv and add his arguments to the mix… not so much cuz i needed help destroying these fools’ arguments, but because i felt so fucking alone.)

    anyways, this took up hours and hours and hours and hours…. of my time. and it dragged on for weeks. it really got to me emotionally.

    i have other war stories, but won’t get into them now.

    and this is why i love you: i see you doing the same thing that i did, and going through the same thing… the hours at the computer arguing for a worthy cause. it’s great to see someone else with this much passion for justice in regards to this issue. and i can also sympathize with how it might be impacting you emotionally.

    and it’s not just you i love for this… i notice many of your readers are deeply engaged in the comment war that’s going on. and i love them all, too, and sympathize with them. (i’m referring to the anti-bdsm ones!)

    i know i’ve posted this link several times, but i want to post it again for those readers who have not seen it. it’s to a facebook group called “sex-positive leftists critical of bdsm”. here is the link:

    anyone who joins this group, feel free to add me as a facebook friend! i’m trying to build social connections (even if they’re just internet ones) with others who feel similarly to me on the bdsm issue, because it’s damn depressing to be in classes full of self-defined feminists who think bdsm is great. and if you live in toronto, let’s hang out sometime and keep each other sane!

    warning about the group: it needs to be updated, and i will hopefully get to that sooner rather than later. there are changes i have in mind to make, points i want to add, others i want to expand on, and several quantitative research studies that i have recently found (yay!) to support a couple of claims i made (one, that a history of childhood sexual abuse is correlated at a statistically significant level with bdsm type fantasies; and two, that patriarchal gender roles tend to be reproduced in bdsm, in that males are much more likely than females to be “doms” and females are much more likely than males to be “subs”).

    i’d like to ask again, will you post this as a link in your blog? maybe even highlight it in a blog entry of its own? (don’t gotta say much, just post the name and the link.) i know i’ve asked you elsewhere in other comments, and i’m sorry for the repetition, but in previous comments i didn’t check the little box that says “notify me of follow-up comments via email” so i won’t know what you say in response (unless i go back and check my previous comment posts, and i don’t remember where those all are). but i just now noticed the little check box, and have checked it off, so if you reply here i will get an email notification about it. also, i hope i don’t seem like i’m just interested in self-promotion. i really just want to get the message out.

    once again, you freakin’ rock. i really admire your willingness to dedicate so much time and energy to maintain this blog and to tackle the issue of bdsm and other important issues. and if ever you’re feeling low about seemingly endless arguments with idiots, know that i’ve been there, too. and that it’s ok to take a break.

    the same goes for other readers of this blog who have been engaged in these comment wars about bdsm (or whatever else)! much love and admiration to all of you too, and i feel for you all.

    • Nine Deuce March 30, 2009 at 4:50 AM #

      Thanks! I added you to my blogroll. I’ll post another link when I continue the series.

  96. screamish March 30, 2009 at 7:47 AM #

    Oh BUTTKICKER, you are soooo funny and cute. Get some more sleep, take more vitamins, call your Mom coz you seem to be waaay too stressed, poor petal.

    Big kisses poor little thing. Hope you get better soon.

  97. Mandy March 30, 2009 at 8:06 AM #

    So glad I have a stumble button, your about me is fantastic, so fantastic that I had to start reading on to what other people had to say, and then it got -really- interesting. I didn’t want to stop reading, but the stupidity of others was giving me a headache.
    All in all, I think this is great, and as hard as it is to change the minds of all, you’re still contributing.
    I’m in the photography industry, and the down-ward spiral of appearance in magazines, billboards, and media in general is really disappointing.
    You might find this interesting, if you’ve not already viewed.
    Thanks for your intelligence!

  98. Rae March 30, 2009 at 9:20 AM #

    i came across your site on stumbleupon,

    love a lot. i’ll be back for more

  99. Missy March 30, 2009 at 8:27 PM #

    I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks Nine Deuce! I have had the opportunity to read a few of you blogs and am thirsting for more! I appreciate your sarcasm, quick-witted intelligence, and most of all your guts! Keep doin’ what you’re doin’!

    New fan,

  100. Kim April 1, 2009 at 12:48 PM #

    I love you….

  101. ThedaBara April 14, 2009 at 8:50 PM #

    Dear Maude, what have you started?

    Someone else trying to explain away anything bad that has been pointed out about BDSM:
    The Psychology of Kink

    warning, site is NSFW at all-and don’t read her other entries, they read like she’s writing for her next client.

    It does tickle me that so many people have gotten so worked-up over your stuff. Seems to me you hit a huge nerve =D

  102. miked. April 20, 2009 at 2:48 AM #

    Hey 9-2, I hate to admit that I was one of those “liberal dudes” that you talk about on your blog who like to convince everyone they’re thinking progressively for their own selfish desires (and ultimate self-righteousness). Just by being a student of sociology at a state university taking classes about the oppression of minorities, be them of gender, class, ethno/race,etc. was important enough. I unfortunately never had once applied real in-depth crtical thought to my own thought processes and impact on those around me.

    Upon finding your blog through one of your posts against the oppressing “ethical” nature of American Apparel I’ve come to re-evaluate, through critical self-reflection, my role in society, specifically the patriarchy that I am a part of, in addition to the society in which I live, in many ways and am looking forward to this new sense of consciousness.

    I’ve gone through most of your posts for the past three days and I seem to agree with most (if not all) of the points you make. Your ideas alone on the core differences between conservatives and liberals alone (the banning vs. critical thinking/ juts because you can doesn’t mean you should/bottom up reasoning) had me putting my own views and reasons through a magnifying glass.

    I admire your writing style because doesn’t hold back any honesty and does so in quite a witty fashion. Have you considered stand up comedy?

    In any event, thank you for everything you have done so far through this blog and continue to do. I look forward to being continually challenged by the ideas you put forth and finally feel able to challenge the world in a meaningful way.

    You’ve made a fan and an ally.


  103. miked. April 20, 2009 at 5:55 AM #

    Also, its funky but I mean talking from experience, unfortunately, I assume a lot of the misled MRA’s who are on here are either too afraid to shine the light on themselves and their own actions, thus thinking critically and taking responsibility, or jump in right away, usually in an uninformed and illogically sense that ends up being quite hateful I might add, out of some weird misplaced sense of the guilt of being a man. I hate to think that these MRA’s are selfish and really do consider themselves to be a superior type of human, but that’s another option serious to consider (even though I’d like to think humans are inherently good and only learn to cause suffering)

    It’s too easy to get bummed on myself for doing what I did (and continue to undue my social programming for the actions and processes I still have to fight). I’d reckon it comes close to being something like white guilt/straight guilt/blah blah blah privileged guilt, in the sense that the guilt helps nobody.

    All of the privileged reactionary (oh my god a woman speaks out against us?! she obviously needs to be put back in her place because shes wrong about ME!!!) horse shit needs to be focused on positive, constructive action, and in the least self-reflective thought. I don’t think a lot of the MRA’s have ever considered that their expressed thoughts and actions not only represent what they feel about a certain issue, but also what kind of value system they hold and what sorts of specific events led to their holding of said value system. I mean a lot of these dudes try to end up sounding progressive but just end up turning out to be small minded-bigots.

    So DUDES AND BRO’S out there that haven’t made this cause a PERSONAL one yet for the betterment of the HUMANS AS A WHOLE (Buttkicker69 I’m looking at your direction), I know your’e capable of making this world a better place if you just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN (or in this case read the blog post, subsequent comments, and then figure out how it applies to you in your daily life) before you even consider what you’re going to say next.

    I’m just sick of awesome discussion being interrupted constantly on all of these replies.

    Big thanks to everyone else that follows this blog that isn’t a jerk. The conversation is always just as important as the post to help expand on the ideas presented.



  104. Calvin April 22, 2009 at 4:34 AM #


    Patrick Berkeley introduced me to this website. I like it.

    Bye now,


  105. Jessica April 28, 2009 at 8:39 PM #

    The intense love I am feeling for you and your blog has deprived me of the ability to form coherent sentences. (What I typed first was something like, “GAHHHH OMGZ U RULE SO HARD LOVE IT!!!”)

  106. pinaki das May 12, 2009 at 7:12 AM #

    i must admit that i used have more than a passing interest in bdsm. but that was until i became a regular reader of this site. its not been easy, but i can safely say that i have been able to suppress those fantasies to a fairly non-existant degree now. thank you.

    • pinaki das May 12, 2009 at 3:55 PM #

      sorry, my blog was misspelt in my earlier post.

  107. rara avis June 1, 2009 at 7:16 PM #

    This may or may not be the right place for this (apologies if it’s not), but I’ve got a question for you, Nine Deuce: How do I go about alerting you about something I’ve read that I think might interest you? I don’t see an ’email me’ link, which seems to me to be prudent considering the number of dolts out there who would just abuse that privilege, and I don’t want to just go around posting links on other people’s blogs without permission. So if you’re cool with random links being posted, I shall do so (though I’d ask where would be most appropriate), and if not, well, I dunno what.

  108. rara avis June 1, 2009 at 9:24 PM #

    Ok, well here’s the link then:

    I’ll have to remember to look harder at the right-hand side next time I scroll all the way down the page…

    • Nine Deuce June 8, 2009 at 8:13 PM #

      Ugh. I suppose I like that men are starting to pay attention to the damage that porn is doing, but that guy’s writing is insufferable.

  109. Melinda June 4, 2009 at 11:28 AM #

    Hi. I was looking for the search box and then I realized that… You don’t have one. What I am trying to say is that it would be useful if you could put one in the sidebar, it’d be much appreciated. Thanks!

  110. grady June 5, 2009 at 8:39 AM #

    “I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion. ” haha. nice. can I put this on a tshirt?

  111. blessed June 7, 2009 at 6:25 AM #

    I love your blog. Fuck off and learn, dudes.

  112. Neko-Onna June 15, 2009 at 10:33 PM #

    “I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion. ”

    My complexion must be worse than yours. I need an abortion every eight weeks or so for it to do anything for my blackheads :-)

  113. Bluma Janowitz June 26, 2009 at 8:39 PM #

    First off, I have to say..I love the site. Love it. Too bad you have so many quasi retards compelled to leave such blurbs of verbal vomit as comments to bog down what could be a nice group of intellectual discussion regarding your blog entries, but I suppose the interweb is full of morons…we just have to live with it.

    I suppose, I just added to that pile, no? Jesus christ…its never ending.

    Anyhew. Keep up the good work ladyfriend. As a Camile style feminazi myself, we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but thats why I love ya. If everyone would just agree to disagree and listen to others opinions and not have a fucking aneurysm, the world would be a better place.

    To the bible thumping, cock wielding freak shows…..suck it. You don’t count. mwaahhhhhaaaahaaa

  114. Donna June 29, 2009 at 5:01 AM #

    Buttkicker69 (from way upthread) has GOT to be a parody.

    Anyhoos, love the blog!

  115. chuck July 15, 2009 at 1:51 AM #

    Hey this is my first stab at reading anything labeled “femenist” and its by complete accident. It has so far been like missing pieces falling into place into my stupid male mind and its actually helping sort my thoughts out to improve my currently fucked up misguided existence. That is no bullshit, anyways, good blog.

  116. fireworks July 22, 2009 at 8:24 AM #

    This may or may not have already been asked, but how did buttkicker69 even find this blog — and seriously … 69?

    Anyway, just wanted to say I am a 22-year-old woman who is struggling with issues of gender equality and trying not only to accept everything that comes with being a female but also that I probably will never understand the male perspective. This is a very difficult phase in which I have found myself and I really appreciate strong, grounded, fearless women speaking their minds (and doing so very well!) — I don’t feel so alone! Thank you!

  117. Brenna&Meghan August 2, 2009 at 1:06 PM #

    You are my hero- I agree with everything you talk about. Thank you.

  118. ClassySpice August 19, 2009 at 9:22 PM #

    Hee hee hee. I <3 you. You are my new best friend.

  119. Willow August 23, 2009 at 10:11 AM #

    Hands down, the best ‘about me’ page ever. Thanks for the fits of giggles.

    Looking forward to reading your future posts.

  120. alexandria September 2, 2009 at 6:36 PM #

    Nine Deuce,
    I was told of your journal through a friend and after reading almost every one of your posts, I have decided this is definitely not my site to visit.

    I believe people have the right to speak her/his own opinion, to have individual beliefs and to have the freedom to voice said feelings.

    With that said though I must say, I find myself sad when reading your words. The tone to which I read each sentence is filled with hate, anger and a lack of acceptance to anything that does not fit into your ideal world.

    Life is complicated. Perhaps there are a few moments of black and white but for the most part, most things are a shade of grey. When I read your journal I see only black and white. No in between.


  121. Kim September 2, 2009 at 9:09 PM #

    You SO do not like bible camps.

    • Nine Deuce September 2, 2009 at 9:17 PM #

      I actually don’t like any of that shit except maybe “Centerfield.”

      • Kim September 3, 2009 at 8:36 AM #

        Oh, I figured that out :)

  122. Kathryn September 8, 2009 at 9:10 AM #

    What a fantastic blog. I can’t believe I have only just discovered it! Great “about me” page too!

  123. Rebecca September 13, 2009 at 4:45 AM #

    “I’m basically a “man” trapped in a woman’s body. What I mean is that, like a person with a penis, I act like a human being and expect other people to treat me like one even though I have a vagina.”

    Why aren’t you a woman in your own body? So having a penis and NOT a vagina is one of the the thing that makes you a human being? What does having a vagina make you? A human UNbeing? I think you have misunderstand equality. True sexual equality means being treated and living as though your gender has standing and power. The way it seems you understand equality is to defy and downgrade the independent power of femaleness JUST LIKE MEN DO. That’s a kind of skewed equality–like making everyone wear the same size shoes. Some women believe that thinking misogynistically along with the big boys somehow makes them part of the power class and dulls them from the pain (“It cant be that bad if I’m doing it myself”). It doesn’t dull the pain, as evidenced by your anger.. Women hitting themselves on their heads just because men hit women on their heads is not equality. All it will do is get men to laugh at you all the way to the ego bank.

    • Nine Deuce September 13, 2009 at 5:45 AM #

      I think you’re missing my point. I don’t want a penis, and I’m not bothered by being a woman. What I’m saying is that even though our culture takes men to be the default human beings and conceives of women as lesser, I expect people to treat me like a full human being anyway, because it’s what’s right. I’m not the one who thinks having a penis is what makes one human, I’m arguing that there’s something wrong with that. See the following sentence. I believe gender is socially constructed, that our genitalia ought not be what determines everything about us, that there is no such thing as a “male” or “female” behavior. I don’t devalue femaleness at all, nor am I as angry as you seem to think I am. There’s a large measure of jokiness going on here that I think you might not be picking up.

  124. Rebecca September 15, 2009 at 9:55 PM #

    Ok, I do agree with everything you say here. I did not pick up on the sarcasm before.

    Since this is your own blog, I don’t know if it is OK to post some of my own thoughts on men. If I should not have done it, please let me know, because here they are, ready nor not.

    When a man calls a woman a “feminazi”, what he is saying is that she has discovered the staunchly guarded knowledge that men have been keeping to themselves. It is this: You do not have to apologize for being happy or satisfied. You do not have to be grateful to someone else for being happy. You do not have to accept someone ELSE’S definition of happiness. You do not have to be accountable to anyone else for being happy. You do not have to “feminize” your being happy so that it does not take too much room away from men’s happiness. Your joy may freely occupy your own space or any space you like. Your joy may be any size you want. You do not have to sit at the back of the gender bus. You may if you want to, and that is what men have trying to get women to believe for eons–that being a second-class citizen, reducing the size and strength of your personhood, is what women want to be—because it’s “feminine”. You see, ALL men are mascunazis.

    SOME signs that women have been doing everything all wrong:

    • Women dance backwards. Men get to do it naturally—women have to do it against the way they naturally move. .
    • Kings come before queens in cards
    • God is thought of as a father.
    • Male comes before female on applications even though it is one of the few time a list of words is not alphabetized.
    • We relate to everyone as He.
    • Shortness is devalued. The ONLY reason shortness is devalued is because it is a female condition. The good life goes to women whose heights remind men of themselves. If you are short, it probably won’t go to you.
    • Men “respectfully” hold doors open for women while keeping doors closed to women in areas of life that count.
    • Books on societies have sections for the examination of women listed in the index, but men are left alone. Men’s privacy is obviously very highly regarded.
    • A promiscuous man is…a man.
    • A grumpy, snarling man is…a grumpy, snarling man.
    • Girl cheerleaders are lead by a male.
    • Men wear suits to a posh do. Women show more skin. By reducing the amount of clothes they wear, women apologize for taking up space by making their bodies vulnerable and accessible to men’s view. Making women’s scantily clad bodies accessible to WOMEN’S view in the presence of men is a requirement that further reduces their gender strength. Women not valuing or protecting their privacy is an important component of appearing “feminine”.

    Men and women are both equally emotional. It is simply called being emotional in women, and in men, it is called being aggressive. Women tend to internalize it more to avoid violence, dismissal, trivialization and so forth. When aggression is internalized, it is expressed verbally. It is called emotions in women as an attempt to discredit the same actions in women that make men…men.

    What is a man? A man is a human being who has taken for his own identification the shortened version of the word “human” (MAN), and all the good, positive healthful and emotionally satisfying things that being human stands for. Of woman, he has demanded she take upon herself all the negative leftovers and fit herself to those roles. He has even raised such buffoonish deceit to religious fervor. Should she express positive personhood, she is declared to be taking upon herself the forbidden role of being like a man. Men want women to be the worst that humans can be, and then they them “good women”. Of course, men will still hate them and revile them because they are being the bad PEOPLE that men want them to be.

  125. Hattie September 16, 2009 at 9:13 AM #

    Ack! Your blog is crawling with men’s rights dudes! Call the exterminator!

    There’s nothing quite like the smell of pedophilia promoting, under educated, rape denying mra’s, while perusing feminist blogs at two o’clock in the morning. Even though they never identify their affiliation until you call them on it, it’s a stench that fills ones nostrils from across the Internet. Yum.

    Fireworks, buttlicker69 found this blog because he’s a creepy little mra who lives to aggravate feminist bloggers. All they do is get on line and search for women like Nine Deuce, in hopes of gaining an audience for their funny little issues. Fortunately, the writer of this one does not appear to be too shaken up. And why should she? Those dudes are slimy, but like any worm, they’re not a real threat.

    I dig your blog, Nine Deuce, mra freaks and all.

  126. Hattie September 17, 2009 at 3:21 AM #

    Thanks syndicalist702. I named it that in reaction to the fit they pitched over the “Boys Have Cooties” tee-shirts (which I don’t approve of) just to aggravate them.

    Rebecca, mascunazis is my new favorite neolgism. I wonder if you coined it, because it’s definitely one for the files, and you deserve props for it if you did. Too funny.

  127. Rebecca September 18, 2009 at 6:38 AM #

    Ha ha, yes I coined it.

  128. Rebecca September 23, 2009 at 4:54 AM #

    Hey, I just found that the world mascunazi is already on the internet. So, though I came up with my word all by lonesome, someone else also did before me.

    I know, Nice Deuce, that this is your own blog. I would like to share with you some of my other thoughts on men. Let me know if this is not the place to do it.

    This is what I know…..that men live to break women’s hearts and steal their joy. I also know that men understand everything that women say, or else how can they always manage to stick the needle in the dead center of whatever balloon of joy women are bouncing around in their naive love of life? Men say they cannot understand women. It’s a lie but it goes without saying that they are required to say it. Duh! Whom is required to understand whom—a slave or its master? Understanding a woman would appear to men to be a step down. Do you really think men would ever admit that men and women were on the same levels? Men will never admit understanding women because being understood is the most intense and powerful form of joy that a being can experience, and men do not want women to have that kind of sweet inner joy or mental peace or power. Being understood is power. It is honor. Not being understood when a woman says the identical thing a man says (who is immediately understood) is emotional and psychic torture—and men want woman to experience that torment. Not being understood is rejection of her personhood. It makes her less than human. It makes her an appliance. The ugly truth is–men want women to hurt.

    By refusing to admit they understand women, men keep women on a lower level, like a pet that is taken care of but not understood. Also, by refusing to admit they understand women, they do not have to respect their wishes or meet their needs. The word “understand’” can be seen as the equivalent of “stand under”. When someone understands another, they “stand under” the authority of what that other person knows. When someone understands another, they ingest what the other person is conveying and make it part of their own psyche. Understanding someone is a bit of a sacrifice. You carve a hole in what you believe, in order to accommodate what someone else believes. You are allowing what someone else knows to…and here is the clincher…impregnate you. That is one major reason men refuse to admit they understand women. They don’t want what men think to be “invaded” or impregnated by what women think—even if it the same thing men think (and it usually is). They just don’t want to know it from women. A woman who is understood can be seen as the one who fills, and a man who understands women as the one who is filled. Admitting the truth (that they understand women and have always understood women) is a confession men, as a gender, will never make.

    And men have the nerve to wonder why women like to get together without men! How I detest those women who sleep with the enemy by agreeing that women are crazy or hard to understand or that men and women think differently. It is just that men spend their time thinking of negative things to do to women to lower the quality of their lives and women spend their time thinking of positive things to do for themselves to enhance the quality of their lives. Women do not spend their time thinking of ways to deprive the male gender of their basic emotional needs. But this is still not good enough for men. Any time a woman wants to do something positive for herself, even if it takes nothing away from men (and it usually does not), men still feel thwarted—cheated out of their “father right” to enjoy women’s suffering, shame and mental distress.

    Pathetically, the male’s greatest emotional accomplishment is when the can break a woman’s sprit and hoodwink her into believing that the demolition of her personhood, the dismissal of intelligence IF IT IS HERS, the erasure of her identity, the disintegration of her genealogy, and the loss of her very own name equals being “loved”.

    • Nine Deuce September 23, 2009 at 5:01 AM #

      Wow. You’re even less charitable toward men than I am (that’s not a bad thing). Interesting points. If I can ever get a break from my schoolwork, I plan to finish my “Why I Hate Men” series, and I’ll be happy if you’ll participate in the discussion.

    • Aestas October 8, 2009 at 4:17 AM #

      I know men who absolutely do not fit the above description, but I think the attitude you describe is far more prevalent than most people are willing to admit, and it’s also a very apt description of the thinking of an abusive man. It would be erroneous, though, I think, to say that only abusive men think this way; the evidence of male entitlement is all around us.

      I would perhaps argue that although some men are most certainly consciously out to hurt women, others are simply so selfish and comfortable in their privilege that they just don’t care. Still others would be bothered by all of this if they allowed themselves to think about it, so they promote a deleterious sort of denial and blame-shifting; that’s why women in porn smile as they are hurt, degraded, and called filthy names, so that the dude jerking off to it doesn’t have to feel guilty about what he’s really doing. That’s also why we have discussions about women’s alleged culpability in their own rapes, based on appearance, level of intoxication, etc.

      Anyway, I thought you had some interesting and insightful points. Not all men are actual abusers, but nearly all men are allies of abusers in one form or another, and unfortunately, they’ve persuaded a hell of a lot of women that it’s easier to play by their rules and to allow themselves to be assimilated into patriarchal views than it is to rage against them.

  129. Rebecca October 9, 2009 at 10:43 PM #

    Nine Deuce, I will be happy to participate in such a discussion.

    Aestas, I agree very much with what you say. I do not see how even the gentlest men can avoid at least BELIEVING they are entitled to have it better than women do even if they do not act on it.. Most religions tell men it is their DUTY to control women and trivialize them. It would take someone beyond a saint who goes against everything he is forced and rewarded to believe (and who is promised the delights of eternal heaven for believing and enacting)–that the more terrible his graces are to women, the better God loves him. I ask you, what man can withstand THAT kind of seduction?

    However, ignorance of the real law (not religion’s phony, sexist hate laws) is no defense. In addition, it is a willful ignorance since women continue to cogently address men’s abuse of them, so men are fully aware of it. On Judgment Day, the REAL God, in shock, will, say to men who are smugly self-assured of entry to heaven as the reward for a lifetime of divine torment of women, “You abused women to please ME? You can just go to hell.”

  130. Rafael October 22, 2009 at 4:17 AM #

    I’m in love

  131. ds November 3, 2009 at 10:13 PM #

    Blues Traveler sucks.

    • Nine Deuce November 3, 2009 at 10:16 PM #

      Yeah, dude, that was kinda the point.

  132. Jessica November 7, 2009 at 3:29 AM #

    First and foremost – you are FABULOUS.

    Ok. So I pretty much check up on this page almost everyday so I can read up on the latest ‘manchine’ outrage. You are a brilliant writter (seriously, Ph.D quality) and genuinely clever. YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME. Admittedly, you have become my newest online role-model.

    …Have you ever considered…writing a book?? (forgive me if you already have…!!) I’d pick it up RIGHT away, ladyfriend!

    Awesome stuff. All the best ND!!!


  133. winter_lights November 13, 2009 at 1:59 AM #

    I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any.

    What *is* that in the header image anyway?

    • Nine Deuce November 13, 2009 at 2:04 AM #

      A hair product demonstration on the streets of Lanzhou, China.

  134. murray November 14, 2009 at 2:41 AM #

    If you are interested in being treated as a human being, equal with all, and are sick of misogynistic assholes, I don’t understand why you make fun of so many people in this blog. In the “who is this bitch?” section you mention all of these things you “like” to do. What about people that do like to ride unicycles, like spinning in circles, or do have children with men that they aren’t married to? Why must you put them all down? I don’t see how this is more acceptable then when men put down women.

    • Nine Deuce November 14, 2009 at 2:45 AM #

      I wasn’t putting anyone down. I was throwing a bunch of things out to make it clear that people ought not be concerning themselves with my private business. And there’s a huge difference anyway. When I say I think something isn’t cool, the only power I have derives from whether the person I’m talking about cares what I think. And I never put anyone down for anything immutable. Sex is immutable, and women as a whole are oppressed because of our sex. So when men verbally attack women with gendered insults, they are asserting power.

  135. Anonymous Sorry November 17, 2009 at 3:25 PM #

    Look, I found your blog, but could not find a contact email address, I have some really good information I wanted to tell you but not publicly.

    Its an interesting update to one of your posts, I need your help

  136. Linda Lou November 23, 2009 at 11:39 PM #

    Nine Deuce, as a seasoned feminist in her mid-40s, I salute you for your wonderful weblog! Your words are my thoughts all these years! Keep working it baby!

  137. janis December 4, 2009 at 9:49 AM #

    so I wasn’t sure where to write this but quick question. I wanted to send you an email and I already wrote it but it turned out to be over 2 pages, is that ok?

  138. passingthrough December 13, 2009 at 6:22 PM #

    Nine Deuce, love your blog. However, I wanted to ask if you would be interested in commenting on a particular topic. As a lesbian who is opposed to the mainstreaming of bdsm, I’m fairly disgusted by certain kinds of butch/femme dynamics that to me seem to mirror the worst of patriarchal and phallocentric sexuality. I find it quite annoying that under the utterly-diluted tenets of third-wave feminism, these kinds of relationships get a free pass simply because the individuals involved are lesbian. Here is one site I’d really like to hear your take on, if you’ve got the time:

    • Nine Deuce December 13, 2009 at 6:35 PM #

      I kind of try to avoid discussing lesbians’ issues, being that I’m not a lesbian. I think it might seem a little presumptuous of me. I think a lot of radical feminist lesbians do touch on that issue, though. Anyone wanna recommend a post to passingthrough?

  139. buttersisonlymyname December 13, 2009 at 7:06 PM #

    Agree 100% with ‘passingthrough’. Certain feminist issues are general, they apply to both straight and gay women.

    I guess I’m just the kind of person who doesn’t mind when, for example, white people talk about racism, or straight women about lesbianism. The ideas have some merit in their own right, whatever the identities of the people making them might be.

  140. passingthrough December 13, 2009 at 7:08 PM #

    I personally would not find it presumptuous for a rational non-homophobic heterosexual feminist to comment on butch/femme dynamics that mirror patriarchal culture. I guess I wanted to ask for your commentary because I actually don’t see much criticism of butch/femme dynamics (particularly the simulated “suck my cock” phallocentricity) anymore within lesbian culture, and because your commentary on similar topics in a heterosexual context has been so consistently good. But I understand that others would probably get offended.

  141. citywood December 14, 2009 at 4:55 AM #

    passingthrough, have you checked out redmegaera’s blog? (On ND’s blogroll.) I can’t remember if she’s done a specific post on it, but she does critique that kind of stuff and also has links to other like-minded lesbian feminists.

    And hi, ND, been reading for a while.

  142. passingthrough December 14, 2009 at 7:26 AM #

    Thanks, citywood, I did go through that blog — interesting critiques of bdsm there, but I couldn’t find anything specifically on butch/femme.

    Well, I have a feeling that I might have to just write something myself on the topic.

    • Nine Deuce December 14, 2009 at 7:28 AM #

      I’m not sure. I may add to my BDSM series later, and if I do I’ll focus on F/f BDSM and the recreation of patriarchy within lesbian relationships, but I’ll have to do a lot of qualifying since I feel unqualified (kind of funny, those two words in the same sentence).

      • H Jemma Leavitt August 27, 2015 at 1:19 AM #

        Not only am I officially in love with your writing… You’ve become my favorite writer of all time (maybe sharing a tie with Tolkien to be fair but it’s mostly sentimental. Thanks so much for your work, I freaking adore you.

  143. passingthrough December 14, 2009 at 8:22 AM #

    Well, I really would like someone addressing this topic. I have no idea how the following …
    … is particularly different from heterosexual bdsm.

    It often seems that third-wave feminists have no argument apart from: “If it gives you an orgasm, it must be a good thing [or can be ‘problematized’ to seem less bad than what it is].”

  144. Duncan Idaho December 25, 2009 at 4:53 AM #

    This Sandy Posey song pretty much sums up a bunch of the stuff you talk about in your posts:

    and if you want to hear the punk/powerpop version by hubble bubble:

  145. Duncan Idaho December 25, 2009 at 5:12 AM #

    the first ‘video’ for the nick lowe cover of “born a woman” generally sucks- sorry wasnt paying attention when i watched it.

    the hubble bubble version is better anyway

  146. polly styrene December 27, 2009 at 9:25 PM #

    It sounds a bit ( well very ) sub Ramones to me. But I like Nick Lowe.

  147. Chickenring January 2, 2010 at 6:35 PM #

    I’m with you on hating Sarah Silverman.. just cannot get down with “ironic” comedians. Even Bill Cosby in his young stand-up days is funnier than her and he was clean as a whistle. Oh well.

  148. Ama January 8, 2010 at 12:55 PM #

    I don’t know if I am as smart as you but I’m an ecologist and as part of that, I have a grounding in evolutionary biology. As a result of that, I can say that genitalia really does matter.

    Sexual evolutionary conflict, it hasn’t done me any favours but it did make me wish someone would publish a paper on it outside of biological journals. At least we have it better than beetles.

  149. salesfornowgal January 20, 2010 at 8:49 PM #

    I appreciate the article. I’m tired of men. They have taken all of my energy. They are family members, work colleagues, and former lovers. I have nothing left for them. I have never felt so second-rate, and so used for their amusement and their advancement. I too lack very strong feminin attributes despite being ‘physically attractive’. The day I woke up at 15 and realized that I was a girl and no longer able to be the tomboy I always was and hang out with the boys because they were too busy trying to get to third base with their girlfriends honestly ruined my life. I didn’t realize from that moment on I would be governed and defined by the rules of femininity. I feel like an immigrant. Like someone shipped me off to some foreign land that had a different language and culture and values. It only got worse once I entered the working world. Equality? Bullshit. Men have the home-field advantage. Their egos, bullshitting ways, and agressive characters bulldoze women. What are we supposed to do? Use our power of caring, compassion, and nurturing to beat them in the boardroom? How many women return to the ladies room after a difficult negotiation or confrontation in the office, only to cry quiet tears in the bathroom stall.

    How many women feel stifled in their own lives because of the influence of some man? Whether its daddy’s money tying you to something you’re indebted too, or a husband that you can’t walk away from for fear of having no other options. Or a boyfriend you now rely on emotionally because you no longer keep in touch with your real friends.

    It’s funny, I think back to the spice girls ‘girl power’ slogan and all it reminds me of is young girls who should be wearing coveralls and running shows going to preteen dances wearing platforms and belly exposing tops. How does that inspire anything that would provoke females to have more ‘power’?

    There’s clearly a relationship of oppressed and oppressor – still. Even though we are educated, beautiful, smart, successful, career women, we are still being held captive by fear. Losing their control over women financially men have resorted to emotional. The more insecure they can make us, the more afraid we become. We are constantly reminded of our shelf life to bare children. We are scorned for not sleeping with some ass hole that expects it far too early on in the dating process. And we are in fear that if we don’t give in to sex that we will not be accepted. We fear that if we stand up to the office prick who constantly makes inappropriate comments that we will appear to be ‘uptight’. And worst of all, we fear that if we do not conform to the ideal feminin that we will not be loved by a partner.

    I’ve been consumed by this for awhile. Felt quite paralyzed and still feel a bit of an alien in this world. But in the past 6 months I’ve finally decided to work WITH it. I’ve had failed attempts. I tried to embrace being a girl, only to find it led me down a path that I didn’t feel comfortable with. All of a sudden I attracted so many men just looking to take advantage. I’ve tried to embrace my non-feminin side only to find that I felt so utterly wrong inside by holding back my natural emotions and instincts.
    So for anyone else struggling with this same issue, here is where I have found a way to embrace being female in a very male word:

    Hold men to a higher standard.

    This is not easy. It is not a matter of telling them to ‘talk to the hand’. Have the will power and discipline and persistence to refuse their behaviours, actions, comments that are offensive, rude, disgusting, ego-driven and make their company less than desireable.

    Men like women. They want to be around us. We are magical, beautiful, mysterious creatures. But we have let them into our lives on THEIR terms. We hold a very powerful card in this world. And men know it. So they keep us afraid. But we can change men. And I don’t mean – marry him today and change his ways tomorrow. I mean change men everywhere. Our fathers, brothers, work colleagues, clients, priests, cousins, husbands, boyfriends, friends. Be true to yourself. Love yourself and your amazing qualities and quirks. And don’t settle for anything less than you deserve from a man. In any relationship it may be. They need to know that they need to do better. They can’t have their cake and eat it too. The only way to make it easier to live in a man’s world is to exert more feminin influence into it. We know nagging doesn’t work. But we know men always find a way to achieve what they want. And if at first they don’t succeed they will try try again. So we need to ensure they try try again in their interactions with us and all women until they understand the level we want to play at. We will not accept lazy men, smelly men, alcoholic men, rude men, angry men, temper tantrums, abusive men etc. We will not do business with unfair and unethical organizations, businesses and men. And when we do these things, the world will notice a shift in all things. Then we will have introduced our worth and value back into the world. We will not have done it with anger, resentment, and violence. We will have done it with patience, love and compassion. And like most successful dealings with men, we will have made it seem like it was all their idea.

    I’d like to know your thoughts.

    • Nine Deuce January 20, 2010 at 11:31 PM #

      My thoughts are that I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said at all.

  150. Kristina January 23, 2010 at 12:23 AM #

    I actually feel bad for butt-kicked or whatever his name is… I mean to be that angry, to lose your logical thought processes (and grammar)… anyway, the things that you generalize women for are laughable to me… but perhaps I can find the humor in it because I’m not feeling a sense of guilt for being the woman you portray as the female race… like I’ve said before…to be angry is to be guilty of those talked about behaviors. It’s much easier to be angry about a given behavior as opposed to reforming it. I guess this is why most men fail to see what feminism is all about. Instead of confronting their own guilt and shame about the way they treat women, they reduce it down to feminists being man hating lesbians, or even worse (but better in proving our point) ugly and fat.. LOL!! Laughable indeed… Why get angry unless you fall into the exact habits that we as feminists are against?

  151. yeahwesaidit January 23, 2010 at 8:49 AM #

    Buttkicker was amusing as shit. He’s as passionate as we are. Maybe we should invite him out for dinner.

    Then again…

  152. yeahwesaidit January 23, 2010 at 9:23 AM #

    Nine deuce *is* an excellent writer and I like that ‘arrogance’ rivaling even the most arrogant male writer. The thing about certain men is that they take any admission of error as a sign that they are winning and that you are weak. Also many of them lack subtlety. If you tell them you are smarter than them they will believe you on a certain level, but if you are courteous or modest they will continue assuming that they know better than you, are innately smarter and will try to school you — like that first dude that wrote in, for example. They don’t get that the I Hate Men blog is not really about hating men. It’s about hating the system and the behavior in the men that the system produces. Patriarchal society is corrupted, even if it’s had good points. The corruption has to do with abuse of power, and the obsession with power that patriarchy has led to. A matriarchal society might have some unforeseen problems as well. A MaPatriarchal society would probably do best for everyone, but when women advocate a more just and equitable representation in society they are branded as Nazis, just as countries who have been colonized or exploited are branded as Communists when they were simply being Nationalist. It is a natural urge for a country to resist domination and exploitation and be “nationalist.” The same goes for women. It is a natural urge to resist domination and exploitation and to want to be treated as a human being. The problem is: men in power often do not even treat other men as human beings as can be witnessed when the poorer segments of society ( a huge portion of them male) are sent to imperialistic wars to kill and be killed. Men other than royalty have been used as pawns in wars for centuries. [Women, considered even less important than soldiers have been systematically raped, maimed and murdered in these wars as well.] If I were a man I would be sick of this form of patriarchy and sick of being used as a tool for the elite.

    As regards to anger: take one small privilege away from the average American white male and watch how ballistic he will get. As for mood swings, 75 to 95% of people in jail for violent crimes are men – were they having stable moods while they were hacking grandpa up?

    The problem is definitions. What is the definition of a mood swing? Emotional and irrational behavior? Would manslaughter be consider emotional, irrational behavior? Apparently not – unless it was committed by a woman.

  153. yeahwesaidit January 23, 2010 at 9:32 AM #

    Nine deuce *is* an excellent writer and I like that ‘arrogance’ rivaling even the most arrogant male writer. The thing about certain men is that they take any admission of error as a sign that they are winning and that you are weak. Also many of them lack subtlety. If you tell them you are smarter than them they will believe you on a certain level, but if you are courteous or modest they will continue assuming that they know better than you, are innately smarter and will try to school you — like that first dude that wrote in, for example. They don’t get that the I Hate Men blog is not really about hating men. It’s about hating the system and the behavior in the men that the system produces. Patriarchal society is corrupted, even if it’s had good points. The corruption has to do with abuse of power, and the obsession with power that patriarchy has led to. A matriarchal society might have some unforeseen problems as well. A MaPatriarchal society would probably do best for everyone, but when women advocate a more just and equitable representation in society they are branded as Nazis, just as countries who have been colonized or exploited are branded as Communists when they were simply being Nationalist. It is a natural urge for a country to resist domination and exploitation and be “nationalist.” The same goes for women. It is a natural urge to resist domination and exploitation and to want to be treated as a human being. The problem is: men in power often do not even treat other men as human beings as can be witnessed when the poorer segments of society ( a huge portion of them male) are sent to imperialistic wars to kill and be killed. Men other than royalty have been used as pawns in wars for centuries. [Women, considered even less important than soldiers have been systematically raped, maimed and murdered in these wars as well.] If I were a man I would be sick of this form of patriarchy and sick of being used as a tool for the elite.

    As regards to anger: take one small privilege away from the average American white male and watch how ballistic he will get. As for mood swings, 75 to 95% of people in jail for violent crimes are men – were they having stable moods while they were hacking grandpa up?

    The problem is definitions. What is the definition of a mood swing? Emotional and irrational behavior? Would manslaughter be considered emotional, irrational behavior? Apparently not – unless it was committed by a woman.

  154. yeahwesaidit January 23, 2010 at 9:46 AM #

    Salesfornowgal, why do we have to make them think it was all their idea?

    They’re been stealing the copyrights on all ideas for over 2,000 years. That or insuring that women were effectively lobotomized after the age of twelve.

    Making men weak is not a form of compassion.

  155. isme January 23, 2010 at 1:16 PM #

    I’d disagree with that. I’d say men who fail to understand feminism (in the broad sense, I mean, feminists like arguing about what feminism is) often would do so because they aren’t women, haven’t grown up in this society as women, and thus haven’t experienced society from the PoV of a woman. In the same way that someone who isn’t a victim of other types of persecution (racism, say) is unlikely to understand what it is like.

    Alternatively (and less charitably), they see no reason to care. Persecution of women, well, that’s the way things are, little difference to the plight of the third world which little interests the first.

    “to be angry is to be guilty of those talked about behaviors”

    I’d also disagree with that. At least in some cases, being tarred with the same brush as people worse than you isn’t much fun (people have always hated being associated with the extremes of whatever group they are in).

    And, of course, if you simply don’t agree with (or understand) feminism, you are likely to be annoyed with feminists, the same as with any other cause.

  156. yeahwesaidit January 23, 2010 at 9:49 PM #

    I think a lot of people are easily “annoyed by feminism” before they even bother to read its foundations because people grow up in a virtually universal culture of bias against women. It is so prevalent that we don’t even notice it.

    I have some compassion for people (male and female) who don’t know any better, but I’m very tired of the excuse that they simply don’t understand it because they aren’t women or knowledgeable with regards to human rights and women’s right. I am a white person who was ten years old when MLK marched on Washington, made his eloquent speeches regarding Civil Rights, and was subsequently gunned down in a hotel room as was Malcolm X, Medgar Evans, Black Panther leaders sleeping in their beds at home and many others. I didn’t know what it was like to be black or to be tear gassed for going to school but it didn’t take a sledgehammer to awaken me to the fact that Whites have been treating Blacks like shit for hundreds of years – and I am still impatient with racism when I see it in others today (and if I find it camouflaged within myself in some other guise.) Not knowing what it is like to be female or black or Native American or a male in the army etc. is no excuse for behaving like an asshole towards another group. You may think a lot of us are behaving like assholes saying we “hate men” on this blog, but this is a rare place to vent long held frustrations – most of us do not go around disparaging every male we meet (well maybe some of us do) but in general we detest certain behaviors of men – not men as a species similar to us. We detest their behaviors the way African Americans have detested lynchings. We detest certain actions because they cause suffering, pain, terror and rage. We detest injustice. We detest not speaking out because we see where that us led us for at least two thousand years.

  157. salesfornowgal January 23, 2010 at 9:59 PM #

    I don’t understand – to the others posting on here, are you all just ranting or do you have any proposed solutions. I’d like to know how any of this is helping anyone? Sure we all hate men. But there are better ways than just than comparing theories and sounding like a women’s studies textbook to reinstate women’s worth back into this world. Our worth is already here, but for some reason to unleash it fully we all want a validation from men and from men’s actions. At least that’s the way I feel.

    I’m not sure what everyone else’s life experiences are. But I”m a self-employed business woman who deal with men on a regular basis in conflicting situations. on a personal level i’m single because i’m so tired of fighting with men and their egos all day long that I can’t bear to see them at the end of the day.

    Anyways, I was hoping for other tips or advice from women that have found coping mechanisms and ways to ‘warm’ themselves to the situation at hand.

    Than ks

  158. kristina January 24, 2010 at 4:27 AM #

    I do agree with those conclusions isme, and I’m not saying that those aren’t the main factors for their misunderstanding feminism… I do however think that men don’t get so far as to question WHY we are angry… They see anger and dismiss it before ever questioning it, and when they do ask, and we give them an earful, they shut down completely and ignore the fact that their behavior hurts women. At least its been so in my experience with men that I’ve talked to about feminism… it’s been awhile since I’ve been in the feminist movement, and perhaps the peer group I was dealing with at the time just wasn’t mature enough to have a conversation without dismissing it as “my time of the month”.

  159. GXB January 24, 2010 at 10:48 AM #

    “for some reason to unleash it fully we all want a validation from men and from men’s actions”

    No, we want men to stop interfering. We want to counteract the self-perpetuating message that women aren’t the real deal, because that makes people more likely either to interfere or to allow it to happen.

    Developing ideas with discussion among feminists leads to arguments that convince other people, which leads to more feminists. Raising awareness isn’t enough for physically remote causes, but for feminism it should help a lot because everything’s happening amidst us. It’s not that hard to figure out how each person of any sex could change it on a very individual level given more awareness, assuming that s/he at least wants to appear decent to others.

  160. FemmeForever January 25, 2010 at 1:21 PM #

    Wow. I think Rebecca and I might be platonic soul mates. What part of the universe are you in?

    Salesfornowgal and yeawesaidit are no slouches either.

  161. mshiffer February 2, 2010 at 1:29 PM #

    Interesting. I unfortunately don’t have time to read all of the comments posted to this page… there are a lot! However, I have a serious question for everyone here. First some background then the question.

    I’m almost 40, male, divorced. I was married for 10 years, together for 14. I’m a self-described liberal. I’ve always had little use for girly-girls. I never liked it when my wife wore makeup… I felt like it wasn’t the woman I knew. I didn’t really recognize her. I didn’t need her to dress up, or do anything extra-ordinary to believe that she was a beautiful woman. (Of course she was smart, funny, caring, etc. or I wouldn’t have been interested in her… but my question focuses on the whole objectification thing so I’m going to focus my dialog on beautification.) I always felt women who worried overmuch about their hair, their clothes, their shoes, their purse were vapid and empty and wouldn’t have looked twice at such a person.
    Fast forward to today. A year ago I met a woman who is an accomplished scientist–smart, interesting, funny, loving… and about as girly-girl as you can get. I’ve never bought a woman fashion accessories before, but I’ve given her an expensive purse. (OK, it was like $150 but to me that’s like pissing money in the toilet.) In any case, I think she’s just as beautiful when she wakes up in the morning as she is when she’s all dolled up, but I can appreciate when she does do herself up as well. She’s Russian, so she comes from a culture where, as she puts it, women should be “cooks in the kitchen, queens in the living room and whores in the bedroom”. This is a little anathema to how I’ve previously lived my life, but I think she’s a great woman. She’s very successful at being who she wants to be… i.e. all of the above.
    Now comes the question. Is this really so bad?
    I would argue, and I think most of the blog fans would agree, that pure objectification is not a good thing. Dehumanization is bad. But as animals, there is a component in our attraction space that corresponds to physical attraction. We’ve all had the experience where we were physically attracted to someone (or not) and that changed as we got to know them. Where we lost that attraction because the person was a jerk or where we suddenly felt a physical attraction because they were so wonderful.
    Is it the right thing to completely forsake that side of ourselves that responds to physical attraction?
    Note that I’m not arguing that physical beauty is the only important thing, but from my experience, it is an enhancement.
    There is a myriad set of things we do to make ourselves more attractive to prospective mates, from trying to make them laugh to making them feel heard. Couldn’t this be one of those things?
    My girlfriend has taught me to appreciate what she does for me. To appreciate the gesture that she wants me to want her. I’m always telling her that I’ll want her anyway, and I in fact get annoyed when I can’t kiss her in the morning because she’s worried about her breath. But it is charming that she wants to be her best for me in all aspects; she wants me to know how smart she is, how funny she is, and how beautiful she is. And I do the same for her, to the point of playing along with her outfit matching when we go out together. Any time I don’t do my part, when I go to bed (sleep) without brushing my teeth, or a little sweaty from a recent work out it’s pure laziness, and I’m actually starting to feel a little guilty about it. She wants me to have the best experience of her as possible, I should do the same.
    When seen from this perspective, I start to wonder if the complete rejection of all of the components of physical attraction is not an over radicalization and over reaction to the radical and terribly wrong process of complete objectification. I’m curious to hear the thoughts of others about this.

  162. polly February 2, 2010 at 8:42 PM #

    Now comes the question:

    Why should I care?

  163. Valerie M February 3, 2010 at 9:23 AM #

    @ polly

    Really. I got about 2 1/2 paragraphs through that entitled slop then just scrolled…

  164. FemmeForever February 3, 2010 at 7:11 PM #


  165. bluecat February 3, 2010 at 10:21 PM #

    @mshiffer: I’ll try my hand at answering your question, even though Polly’s answer is more than adequate.

    Others may disagree, but I don’t believe it’s possible to objectify one’s self. A woman can sexually exploit herself, certainly, but only an observer can erase her humanity by turning her body into an impersonal tool – thereby turning her into an object – for his personal sexual gratification.

    You ask if it’s “so bad” for your girlfriend to be uber-feminine and the short answer is “no”. A person can easily delude herself into believing cultural conformity is in her best interests, regardless of how toxic the cultural milieu is, causing her to act unknowingly in self-destructive ways.

    Personally, I’m not anti-femininity. I like make-up in moderation, I love how it feels to walk (short distances) in high heels. I temper my femininity with feminist common sense and see nothing wrong with that. I don’t believe you’ll find a single feminist who thinks there’s something “bad” about enhancing natural beauty, but I could be wrong. The problem is that compliance with the feminine aesthetic is compulsory in our society, it’s integral to social and professional status for a woman, and that’s what feminists have a beef with.

  166. A. DuVal February 3, 2010 at 10:31 PM #

    Posted on January 28, 2010 by wilderside

    Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 9:00pm

    The Pyramid, NYC

    The “Crisis of Capitalism” benefit show will support the 22 arrestees of Resalto community center in Greece; and to support the School of the Americas Watch in Haiti, to ensure that our money does not contribute to imperialism’s influence in the region.

    Bigger Princess
    Born in a Cent
    Just Dave
    The Last Internationale w/ the legendary David Peel (Apple Records, Orange Records).
    Night Walker
    Final Outlaw

    Sliding Scale $7-20 at the door. Show starts at 9!

  167. yeahwesaidit February 13, 2010 at 8:12 AM #

    To the person who was hoping for coping mechanisms: (salesfornowgal?)

    Here are mine (I’m a very happy woman, and everyone I meet can tell.)
    I was once an architect (and miserable working in a male setting for years). I now do not practice architecture but I work with women who don’t harass me. I once was married for many years. I’m now no longer married. I once felt I had to answer every phone call from every woman who was obsessing on a boyfriend or a toe nail. (I now don’t call anyone back unless I feel like it or unless they are very sick or dying (and I do have sick friends who seek and get my help). I once tried to date and have smooth personal relationships with men. (I now no longer try). I used to argue and fight with men. (I now no longer bother.) I used to love and hate men. (I now neither love nor hate them. I love life.) I once used to hope people would be a certain way. (I now no longer hope for people to be any particular way.) I once was seduced into thinking that other people could make me happy. (I now realize happiness given to me by others can only be fleeting, and I do things on my own that make me happy.) I used to think I owed people this or that or that I had to do this or that in life. (I now do what I want.) I used to have a husband and children and job and little time to myself. (I now have all the time in the world to myself.)

    After nearly dying and going thru a surgery alone I realized that no one could be there for me and this freed me from the idea that I had to be there for others. I unplugged my phone for six weeks and for the first time in my life I had peace and bliss.

    Giving up my career due to illness had the biproduct of me never having to work for a man again. (Or a she-man that was equally as domineering and disrespectful). For the past seven years I have been free. I am free and I am happy. Hope you will find happiness too. Simplifying helps. We don’t always have to do all the things we think we are supposed to do or stick with our dream if its making us crazy. But also, don’t give up your dream for a man; you will of course resent him. I also don’t overschedule my time – especially free social time. I like to relax. When you throw away a lot of baggage life is a beautiful thing and I feel blessed to be here.

  168. yeahwesaidit February 13, 2010 at 8:45 AM #

    I can’t stand walking in high heels or putting on disgusting smelling make up. My daughter loves high heels. I love my daughter.

    Everyone can do what they like. I think my daughter looks nice and should be free to express herself.

    But I ain’t making my own lips look like a red monkey’s ass or breaking my malleous bone hobbling around like a cripple in high heels. My own opinion is that many women look absolutely ridiculous and stupid hopping around in these but I would never disrespect or say anything to a woman wearing these.

    For me shoes are for protecting my feet not crippling them. Women who TRY to be sexy seem like slaves of male opinion or the latest fashion look. There is nothing wrong with *being* sexy but *trying* to be sexy seems slavish and pathetic. I know a huge majority of women would tell me to shut up; it’s their choice. And it certainly is. But in my opinion choosing to be uncomfortable so as to look good is slavery whether its your own “choice” or enforced by some sexist airline employer. To me men and women look good enough just the way they are but I don’t watch TV or read fashion mags so I have no reference point of what looks “good.” Ever since I was a little girl I found female obsession with looks to be pathetic and male obsession with female looks revolting. Hope I’m not being offensive but this is my place to vent what I truly feel. As a kid they used to call me “Pretty Little ZsaZsa” and that always made me sick. I hate being called “sweet” “cutie” “sweet heart” “pretty girl” – all of it is nauseating and patronizing to me – always has been ever since I can remember. But that’s just me. I have nothing against genuine love. I just cannot stand syrup. I am not here to please other people. I couldn’t care less what men or women think of me. I used to capitulate but now I refuse to be patronized. I’d rather be hated than patronized. I want to be free. I like who I am. Most of the world does not respect me as much as I respect myself since I am female after all – but I don’t care because they don’t matter. I’m married to myself; it’s for life; and it’s conjugal bliss.

  169. yeahwesaidit February 13, 2010 at 9:23 AM #

    Hey check out the section called ‘Stopping the violence against women and girls’ in Kevin Powell’s book: The Black Male Handbook. It’s very refreshing to be reading him (and a couple of relatively young male writers of other books) who “get” Feminism. Even Gloria Steinem is impressed with Powell. When I first read his section she was the first person I thought of, and lo, there was an article about her endorsing this writer when I got on line. It really kind of gives me hope hearing some of these younger male writers expressing things that women have been ridiculed for saying since the seventies. Finally what they have been saying is actually being understood, at least by a certain percentage of the male population.

  170. Jenna February 23, 2010 at 6:33 PM #

    I just found your blog today and I LOVE IT!!!!!

    I may also love you….as a person of wit, style, substance and grace…..but ‘love’ is kind of strong for a first date.

    Thank you for illustrating most eloquently just EXACTLY how the patriarchy degrades, dehumanizes, demeans and defiles the feminine IN ALL OF US, not just those of us with vaginas.

    I appreciate you and I shall return.

  171. Hecate February 28, 2010 at 9:45 AM #

    You simply rock, Nine Deuce :) I thank God there are women like you who get out there and flash the entire rainbow spectrum of human emotion, unlike some women who keep a lid on it because ‘society’ can’t handle fully realized females. Your honesty and eloquence are truly a breath of fresh air. I hope more women will follow in your footsteps and simply be themselves. As for little ole me – I have never apologized for my feelings/ thoughts/ opinions. People get their knickers in a twist when they see a sweet girl like me get angry, but the fact is, my anger is the reason I am still alive and kicking. It’s the women who know how to survive who are most despised by men.

  172. MicrobeGirl March 2, 2010 at 3:42 AM #


    Don’t you just relish it when the opposition proves your point for you?

    Oh if that wasn’t that simply delightful!

  173. David March 2, 2010 at 11:38 AM #

    Me again.
    I don’t know if you saw my message/apology to you earlier. I still don’t agree with you on my points, but hey, I was obnoxious (and saying it was unintentional doesn’t making it any less so).
    I’ll admit, I should have read your “about” page more carefully – so again, my apologies on that score.
    I did get some great feedback from Lillie, and wanted to thank you for that opportunity.
    One question: why is Julian playing your attack dog, and saying that my statements are dangerous and powerful and yours are not?
    I addressed my initial comment to you. Not to him. You’re quite capable of defending yourself. Why did he wade in?

    • Nine Deuce March 3, 2010 at 3:48 AM #

      David – Why are you asking me why Julian did X when I am not Julian? He isn’t speaking for me, he’s speaking for himself, which seems pretty obvious to me. As to why I haven’t responded, I’ve got a life. If I read and responded to every comment here, I’d have to drop out of school as I’d have no time for anything else. So, what is it exactly that you would like me to answer?

  174. David March 2, 2010 at 11:39 AM #

    Previous comment directed to you, Nine Deuce.
    Not to Julian.
    Julian, keep out. I don’t want to hear from you. I want to hear from Nine Deuce.

  175. passingthrough March 3, 2010 at 11:38 AM #

    Hey ND,

    Love your latest posts. Hilarious as usual. I’m wondering if you’ve seen the following article:

    It is quite an obnoxious summary of some research, and sensationalizes a much more carefully-worded paper. (I have the original in case you’d like to read it … drop me an e-mail and I’ll pass it along to you).

    Do you think you might be able to find time to discuss this on your blog? I’m a psych grad student and I’d love to pipe in with my own take as well. I’m actually dying to discuss this with someone who’s coming at this topic from a similar angle.

    Psychology Today is utterly retarded by the way. Some time back they published this article as well:

  176. Immir March 6, 2010 at 8:14 AM #

    Syndicalist702: “By the way, I’m totally down with killing off some rapists, but I’d rather go after the ideology behind their actions.”

    I know this was ages ago, but NICE point.
    Your wife is a lucky lady to be with a smart one :)

  177. Jeden March 8, 2010 at 7:36 AM #

    I trolled your blog in a fugue once, sorry about that. While I do not agree with everything you post, I think you’re a great writer and I hope you keep up the good fight.

    • Nine Deuce March 8, 2010 at 8:03 AM #

      What did you say when you trolled? Something with the c-word in it?

  178. David March 8, 2010 at 9:01 AM #

    @ Nine Deuce: you have a blog, on a contentious topic, and then dodge responding to tough posts because you “have a life”… That sounds like an excuse…

    @Jeden: you were in a fugue? Were you in a toccata too? Or a sonata? The only way we can be symphonic to your plight is if you make a concerto effort to improve…

    • Nine Deuce March 8, 2010 at 3:39 PM #

      No, David, it’s a fact. I get 1000-1700 hits and between 30 and 150 comments per day on average. I do not have time to read or answer even a small portion of them, even if I wanted to. It is not my responsibility to reiterate things I’ve already addressed several times (you could use the search box to find what you’re looking for, you know) because you feel entitled to my attention and time (which you are not). Again, what is it that you would like me to address?

  179. Saurs March 8, 2010 at 11:02 PM #

    Not that Jeden needs my assistance, here, but David, that gotcha business you’re trying to play with the use of the word “fugue” is not cute, it’s not clever, and it makes you look ignorant of the meaning of the word and its romantic cognates. Look it up, or research the term “fugue state.”

  180. David March 9, 2010 at 9:28 AM #

    @Saurs – not only does it make me look ignorant, I am ignorant – I’d never heard of fugue in any sense other than the musical one (in my defence, my best friend is crazy about Baroque music, and so I’ve heard a LOT about that sense). I see what you meant about Romance cognates too – interesting – thanks. From the definitions I found online though, Jeden is using a serious disorder as a lame excuse…

    @Nine Deuce: fair enough.
    What I’m asking your opinion on are some pretty open-ended issues, and I’m leery of anyone who claims to have the definitive answer. I’m bringing these things up because I believe them to be important.

    a) Biological constraints shape every species. There is considerable variation within our species, even without the effects of socialisation. If we desire to have equality, can we ignore this? (example: even if everyone grows up lifting weights and eating big, those with more testosterone will have greater muscle mass (whether male or female – I’m a guy, and I struggle to gain). Do we ignore that, or confront it?)

    b) Is modern feminism aiming at equality, or equivalence? Do women have to behave exactly the same as men to get the same respect? (Analogy for clarification of my meaning: do blacks have to act white to be accepted?)

    c) Are the measures of human worth that we use viable? Feminism appears (as far I can see) to have put considerable focus on pay disparities between men and women, which in my opinion simply reinforces the notion that human worth can be measured in monetary terms, and further devalues the work of those in low-paying jobs. Should humans not rather abandon the entire system of measuring human worth and value in monetary terms?

    What’s your take?

    • Nine Deuce March 9, 2010 at 6:38 PM #

      a) We overcome it if it is the source of injustice, and we don’t use it as an excuse.
      b) I don’t speak for modern feminism. I am looking for liberation. I don’t want what men have, and I certainly don’t want to emulate men. Men have a lot of repulsive characterostics, and my goal isn’t equivalence but rather to get away from being measured against something I don’t aspire to be. You definitely misunderstood my about page.
      c) Pay disparity is a problem, but it’s not a measure of human worth. The people who are paying disparate wages think it is, but I think most feminists know that it’s not. Female labor is devalued for a lot of reasons, the main one being that it renders women less capable of independence and hence easier to control.

      I am far more radical than most people who come here without an understanding of the different schools of feminism would suspect, and somewhat less radical than some of my readers/acquaintances. Ideally, we’d get rid of capitalism, patriarchy, and all other hierarchies and then most of these things would cease to be issues. What that means in everyday life this week, however, is a more complicated issue.

  181. David March 10, 2010 at 3:42 PM #

    @ Nine Deuce.
    Wow. I really appreciate and respect that answer.
    I totally agree with what you say there, which doesn’t alleviate my concerns about feminism in general, but definitely means I’m going to stick around and listen to what you have to say – when you say what you mean directly, rather than through sarcasm, you write amazingly.

    And if any of the above comes across as patronising, it’s only because I don’t express myself so well.

    Thanks for a really cool answer.

    • Nine Deuce March 10, 2010 at 7:00 PM #

      Maybe your estimation of the effectiveness of my sarcasm is affected by the fact that you aren’t American. I have had plenty of people give me shit in the past for not being jokey/sarcastic enough. Anyway, I think I’ll decide how to write my own blog posts. I do feel somewhat competent to do so, you know.

  182. David March 11, 2010 at 7:14 AM #

    Hey, no offence intended! Yeah, you’re probably right – I’m more used to Commonwealth type sarcasm (SA, NZ, UK, Aus).
    I was sincere in complimenting your writing as being clear – your response dealt directly and succintly with my questions. I wasn’t aiming at sarcasm…

  183. Eva March 23, 2010 at 7:20 AM #

    Nine Deuce, I know this is entirely your blog, but would it be possible to contribute? You might tell me to start my own blog but I really haven’t got enough material to fill one, and you already have a reader base for our cause, or against it, as it were. Just something to consider, perhaps. Thanks for all.

  184. Concerned Feminine Man April 4, 2010 at 12:22 PM #

    # I’ve got 9 kids from 10 dads (none of whom are white), 1 transgendered Chinchilla, and a giant Belgian rabbit who only eats carnitas.
    # I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion.

    I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’re joking here.

    But besides that, it’s nice to meet you Deuce. I’ll be reading a lot of your stuff, and hopefully you’ll respond to the comments I leave because I’ll try to be intelligent about it, okay?

  185. yeahwesaidit April 10, 2010 at 6:57 PM #

    Thinking about some of the excellent insights that Rebecca shared:

    One: “I also know that men understand everything that women say, or else how can they always manage to stick the needle in the dead center of whatever balloon of joy women are bouncing around in their naive love of life?”

    Yes, I have experienced this frequently. Not all men do this, but enough to add additional and unnecessary misery to the world.

    “Not being understood when a woman says the identical thing a man says (who is immediately understood) is emotional and psychic torture—and men want woman to experience that torment. Not being understood is rejection of her personhood. It makes her less than human. It makes her an appliance. The ugly truth is–men want women to hurt. ”

    While this is not true in every case, it’s often true enough to notice. Sometimes we can barely believe this is really happening. It seems so sick.

    Two: “By refusing to admit they understand women, men keep women on a lower level, like a pet that is taken care of but not understood. Also, by refusing to admit they understand women, they do not have to respect their wishes or meet their needs. ”

    Yes, quite a few of them do this too. But it is so refreshing when you meet a man who doesn’t.

    Three: “Pathetically, the male’s greatest emotional accomplishment is when he can break a woman’s spriit and hoodwink her into believing that the demolition of her personhood, the dismissal of intelligence IF IT IS HERS, the erasure of her identity, the disintegration of her genealogy, and the loss of her very own name equals being “loved”.”

    Strong point and often (but not always true) even historically; in spite of patriarchy, there have always been some men who were much more human who did not feel the constant, insecure need to constantly one-up and annihilate women.
    (I’ve never met any, but I’ve read about them. In works of fiction. Just kidding. )

    I’ve actually met a few who were genuinely great people, which only proves that change is possible, that men and women can actually treat one another decently, and that Feminism/Humanism or what ever you want to call it, is not only possible, but often very pleasant and productive between the sexes.)

  186. Christina April 17, 2010 at 4:20 PM #

    Strange gag…

  187. Jeff May 15, 2010 at 4:22 PM #

    Just want to leave a note from an Internet Dude and say radical feminism is the best ism, thanks for the blog ND, keep up the fight.

  188. xanadu May 16, 2010 at 5:45 PM #

    Hi Nine Deuce.

    Just wondering what you majored at in college?
    I have nothing worth contributing at the moment seeing as I’m not as well read/experienced as most of the commentors here but I’m so damn glad I stumbled across your site (and ruminating about the possibility of studying something gender-related in college)

  189. Gary May 17, 2010 at 9:12 AM #

    Hi Nine Deuce,

    I’ve never replied to a blog in my life but I stumbled across your blog at work during lunch and wow, it’s really made me think (as well as meaning I’ve done no work this afternoon!). I have always seen myself as a non-misogynist, reasonable kind of guy that treated women with no less respect than I would treat men. I’m certainly no “mascunazi”. I am appalled by many of the things you are appalled by (esp. the porn thing – really worries me that my son [and his peers] will encounter the horribly abusive portrayals of sex on the internet and be twisted into thinking its acceptable).
    I came across your blog while looking for the correct word for people-hater as I was discussing a shared hatred of people (or at least their behaviours) in general with a colleague.
    Turns out the vile “qualities” of people we were thinking of are almost exclusively the province of men – your hatred of men would, on the face of it, seem pretty well justified.
    More alarmingly, I am a possessor of a number of them. While I don’t necessarily agree with everything you say, a huge amount of it makes the skin of my psyche crawl and has provoked me to put myself under the magnifying glass.
    I’m not horrified by what I see but nor am I particularly impressed. Your writings have given me food for thought and for that I thank you.
    I must also echo the comments of many other contributors and say how much I enjoy your erudite and often very funny literary style.


    P.S. I’m not sure who embarrasses me on behalf of my gender most: Iain The Pious and Ill-informed, Mr Redneck Capslock [is he for real or just an hilarious spoof] or Drakkar “I came here looking for good porn” Noir. I wonder what his definition of “good” porn is? *Shudder*

  190. wiggles May 17, 2010 at 1:28 PM #

    I thought you’d all like to know I’m currently having a YouTube fight with a guy who’s trying his damndest to patiently explain to me that nobody deserves to be raped, BUT if girls dress slutty, they have no one to blame but themselves. I just won’t get it through my thick head and keep insisting that men are responsible for their own rapey thoughts and actions, so young and naive I am.

  191. Miss Andrist May 17, 2010 at 10:45 PM #

    Where? I live for these altercations. ^_^

  192. sneeky bunny May 18, 2010 at 8:28 PM #

    seriously, where? I’ll make the popcorn.

  193. wiggles May 19, 2010 at 9:36 AM #

    The offender is one hvislysettaros2010. It’s a YouTube fight, so you know it’s high intellect.

  194. bluecat May 20, 2010 at 6:26 PM #

    Wiggles, just wondering, did you try the ol’ “So if a person lives in a nice house/drives an expensive car/wears a designer suit, they deserve to be robbed/carjacked/mugged? They were ostensibly ‘asking for it’ for by flaunting their wealth” corollary? I try to avoid altercations with misogybags since it’s nigh impossible to reason with the irrational, but I wish you all the best with your valiant efforts.

  195. bluecat May 20, 2010 at 6:37 PM #

    Gary, I hope it’s unnecessary to remind you that a parent’s duty is to censor the material underage children are exposed to to the best of their abilities. You’ll also note that there are myriad opportunities in everyday situations for pointing out examples of misogyny in popular media and culture to children, and these edifying lessons may very well succeed in counteracting the harmful messages our society inundates the innocent with from birth. Never underestimate the extent of your influence as a parent. Lead by example, teach when opportunity arises. Once your eyes have been opened, you become responsible for passing on what you’ve learned.

  196. Gary May 21, 2010 at 9:23 AM #


    I do, of course, fully censor what’s within my sphere of influence. Fortunately I’m in the position of being technologically savvy so I can and do control internet access. My concern as regards my son’s exposure was more in relation to when he is at school or at friends’ houses where rules may be more lax. I probably don’t point out examples of misogyny as I see them unless they are blatant [maybe I don’t even notice them; my conditioning is probably fairly ingrained] – something I could do more, and certainly as I’ve been thinking more about it I’ve been seeing it in many more places. I must say I find it quite alarming how pervasive it really is once you start looking. We do, as a family, discuss such things – my daughter is always very quick to protest about advertising that portrays women as objects or demeans them as being concerned only with how lustrous their hair is, how clean their kid’s clothes are, etc.etc. and my son does look up to her and values her views very highly.
    You are quite right about my responsibilities and I assure you I am aware of them and have always done my best to teach both of my children to respect all people irrespective of gender, ethnicity, religious persuasion, etc., to exercise tolerance and understanding and to keep an open mind. As my understanding of any issue improves, I do pass this on to them and this will apply to my recent enlightenment of society’s generally woeful [mis]treatment of women.

    Kind regards,
    Still learning,

  197. Missy June 9, 2010 at 11:27 AM #

    Two thoughts:

    1)This is going to sound very racist, but it is very unintentional I assure you. Why should I have to pay reparations for slavery?? Not only was I not ALIVE then but even if I had been, I had very few rights as a woman. So, that leaves WHITE MEN to blame and maybe they should clean up the mess. :)
    2)I is unconscionable to me that society can coin the phrase “oh, it’s a MAN THING” to make excuses for the bad behavior of men. Not only does it absolve them of any responsibility for their BAD behavior, it is also accepted by society as the social “norm” for a man’s bad behavior. I don’t GET IT. Women are not afforded the privledge of having our behavior–good or bad–forgiven like men do in my humble opinion.

    • Nine Deuce June 11, 2010 at 4:29 PM #

      Polly – That is unbelievable. It’s going in the growing queue of post ideas that I’ll hopefully do something with.

  198. Miss Andrist June 12, 2010 at 6:43 AM #


    “1)This is going to sound very racist, but it is very unintentional I assure you.”

    1.) About sounding racist: you sound racist because you’re being racist. What gets me is you KNOW it, enough that you can predict that others will perceive the racism happening. Then you barge ahead and be racist any goddamn way.

    Why? Why the hell does anybody do that?

    See, people do a weird thing when they know they’re being bigots. They ACKNOWLEDGE their bigotry, almost always with a feigned apology, then proceed as if demonstrating that they’re making a conscious decision should change anything. What baffles me is why people don’t stop to question what’s wrong with what they are saying that gives them the idea that others may object to it as racist.

    And frankly? Oppressors spend entirely too goddamn much time insisting on the important of their INTENTIONS. The fact that your racism is unintentional doesn’t make it any less harmful to the people you just flaunted your white privilege at. It’s kind of like if you ran somebody over with your car. The fact that you didn’t MEAN TO doesn’t make their legs any less broken, and no matter the circumstances, the court will probably spend very little time agonizing over how it made YOU feel. This is called the primacy of the victim, and the fact is, there’s a victim.

    — About repartitions: If repartitions were paid, they would be awarded to the descendants of slaves by society as a whole. That means basically a class-action lawsuit where everyone descended from a person who lived in bound servitude would receive damages paid by The United States Government and funded the same way all other funds are: by taxation. Cos the government can do that. You probably wouldn’t even notice a difference, frankly, because all of American society would shoulder the burden. It’s extremely doubtful that (due to the nature of tort) recipients of the award would be exempt from the tax and if they were, claiming such would be a simple income exclusion.

    What is it with white people implying that if repartitions were awarded, people would just barge up to you with their hand out demanding your paycheck? *eyeroll*

    ** Note, I’m deliberately simplifying. For one thing, whining about something like difficulty in demonstrating slave origins only proves the point that the descendants of slaves do indeed suffer the consequences of slavery as real, personal harm. Is there any greater proof positive than a smug expectation that descendants of slaves should have to furnish the very records of slave families that white slavers refused to create? I’m also skipping particulars like what about Liberia. **

    Furthermore, from one non-male to another – yes, we are an oppressed class. We are members of the single most widely oppressed class (non-males). Status as oppressed does not preclude our status as oppressors. We’re not people of color. We enjoy privileges we did not earn, which happen at the expense of the rights of people of color whether we asked for these privileges or not, whether we want them or not – whether we’re AWARE of them or not. I have white privilege. You know what it gets me? If I get pulled over, I’ll get a warning rather than a ticket. I’ll get a ticket rather than arrested. If I get arrested, they’ll cuff me in front. When I go before the judge, I have recognizance and I get slack. You know what entitlement is? When I FINALLY get arrested for something that should have gotten me arrested six tickets ago, I feel OUTRAGE, because I’m the person these idiots are supposed to be protecting and serving: a little white girl with curly blonde hair and big dewy eyes. Shouldn’t they be out like… fighting crime or something? What’s happening is I’ve formed an expectation that I will receive special, preferential, beneficial treatment – treatment I receive because of how I was born (a little white girl). I’ve been treated as special so many times by so many people that I’m shocked when somebody finally hands it to me like everybody else. That’s my affronted sense of entitlement, and I sure as shit perceive lack of privilege as infringement of right.

    Moral of this story: the choice to oppress is rarely mine; privilege will be awarded to me by those who have the power to decide who gets to be special and who doesn’t but that doesn’t make me innocent of oppression or absolve me from responsibility for reversing it with whatever tools are available to me – as a woman, a white person, and a white woman. As a woman, I lack the institutional power to actively oppress (I am not the person who gives a black student a lower grade or decides not to hire the person of color) but I know that as a white woman, I am the recipient of privilege I am oblivious to. I will be oppressed as a non-male but I will never be oppressed as a person of color. I can be discriminated against on the basis of my race as an individual, but my race is not the source of societal, systemic, institutional disadvantages, negative stereotypes and devaluation of my humanity. Because I am a non-male, I probably won’t even have the power to refuse special privileges when they are afforded me (I won’t know I was given a higher grade or hired over a black candidate, for example, and I can’t directly enforce justice for either.) I can’t presume to speak for people of color, because as an oppressor, a white person, I need to shut my yap and listen to the experience of people of color as much as the next Cracker.

    What I -can- do is object to privilege, entitlement, and disadvantage on the basis of race. More importantly, I can use my status as white to demand from other white people the right of people (especially women) of color to speak and to be heard.

    2.) What you’re describing is one of the countless privileges males are awarded because they are male. It’s a privilege because males get special, preferential, beneficial treatment non-males do not receive. There is no synonym for “boys will be boys.” If you want to look at the much uglier inverse – women are slapped with either Madonna/whore or mother/whore, depending mainly on the whim of the enforcer. That’s the basic definition of the patriarchy, and it is societal, systemic, and institutional – hence, women are the victims of sexism (men cannot be.) There is no logical reason to draw distinction between sexes for the purpose of oppressing non-males and it really needs to stop. Immediately. Welcome to radical feminism. ~_^

    -Miss Andrist
    Lover of Men

    PS. Yes, I’m deliberately simplifying. For one thing, whining about something like difficulty in demonstrating slave origins only proves the point that the descendants of slaves do indeed suffer the consequences of slavery as real, personal harm. Is there any greater proof positive than a smug expectation that descendants of slaves should have to furnish the very records of slave families that white slavers refused to create? I’m also skipping particulars like what about Liberia. I use the term “Cracker” deliberately to illustrate the point that there are no synonyms for white people as ugly as the hate speech reserved for people of color. Much like “bitch,” “slut,” “cunt,” “whore,” “twat,” and all the other derogatory slurs men have for women – there’s no synonym for men, which makes it hate speech.

  199. Jim June 12, 2010 at 1:27 PM #

    Miss Andrist – Your comment is 100% WIN.

  200. defianthorizon June 22, 2010 at 5:26 AM #

    I think you’re bloody fantastic.
    Having wanted to blog about all my own FEMINISTRAGE and the reasons behind said FEMINISTRAGE for a long time, your blog has been the final push needed.

  201. Joshua Horton August 4, 2010 at 11:03 PM #

    Just want to say to all the guys posting comments on here being a bunch of assholes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with women wanting equal rights. I know that there are different forms of Feminism (good and bad), but it all boils down to women walking into an interview office with a male and actually having a 50/50 chance of getting the job, or walking down the street and men giving them a look and judging them on a scale of 1-10 based on how they look. People need to deal with this. But for the women, I agree with almost everything you say (and the Paganism Lesbian jokes about abandoned churches were hilarious) BUT, not all men are bad. I think that if a women sees a man and assumes that he is a anti women asshole (not accusing anyone hear of doing this, just voicing my opinion) then you are partially as bad as the man. The point is for everyone to be equal. The men that are assholes on this post need to understand, what happens when something is wrong in this country? PEOPLE BITCH ABOUT IT TILL ITS RIGHT. You complain, protest, voice it, slavery, gun control, drugs, alcohol, anything. Which is why it should be no problem that women do this if they feel it is not right. But that in turn means (unfortunetly) that people have the right to come here and be assholes too, but that is ok, because we have the right to bitch and complain back. lol. The whole feminism idea, is just like slavery, women want to be treated equally. I hate it when people come on here and say that all feminists are ugly butches that never get laid. 1. That is definitely not true. 2. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THEIR SEX LIFE MATTER TO YOU IF YOU HATE THEM SO MUCH?! (Sorry for all caps.)
    My wife is a feminist. She is absolutely beautiful, inside and out. She is very creative and I think that it is great that she enforces what she believes in and I back her up 100%. She is also starting her own Youtube channel, her name is “ITSTHEDEVILWOMEN” she tried to to Hester Prynne but it was already taken. And to all guys who come on here and say “I have a big penis so what I say matters” BIG FUCKING DEAL, I hope it rots the fuck off. It all depends on how you use it anyways dumbass. (Now I am expecting a typical comment saying that I have a small penis, I don’t even understand why it matters anyway.) I guess your gonna play with your “big” penis all alone when no women want it. Which then causes rape which you will find some excuse for. I was watching a feminist youtube channel about how in porn about how a white male shoves watermelon so far down a black females throat she choaks and gags and pukes and cries then he calls her Ni**er. I think that is so fucking disturbing it makes me sick to my stomach. To any guy that comes on here and disagrees with me, imagine that that women is someone close to you, wife, girlfriend, mother, child, maybe that will change your opinion. I went through porn addiction, it was tearing my marriage apart, I am so happy to be liberated from it. To the guys, do you ever notice that as soon as you are “done” that exact moment, you quickly shut off the TV or the computer, or exit the webpage, sometimes even act like it never happened. While I was addicted, I was completely ignorant of everything that was going on, but now that i see, I want to have nothing to do with it. I am proud of every person that comes on here and voices their opinion, good job fighting for what you believe in, thank you for trying to make the best with what you have. i am sorry that this might have been kinda graphic and very long, lol, I just had a lot to say on the subject, and I am not even close to done yet. I am very happy that my wife Kelli has shown me this website. Thanks again to all.

  202. joy August 5, 2010 at 3:01 PM #

    Yay! Joshua does not grasp the point of feminism (or paragraphs).

    How utterly unsurprising.

    Thanks for the try, though, dude. It’s … nebulously … closer to the mark than the MRAs.

  203. kristina August 6, 2010 at 8:32 AM #

    meh…Josh don’t let it discourage you, you do have a better grasp than MRA’s but you’re still not there yet. You may be trying to appeal to a man’s sensitivities by mentioning his rights to bitch, but I honestly think they don’t need to be reminded of ANY of their rights, they know and they tell us constantly by “putting us in our place”. I wish my husband was at least semi willing to get the idea of feminism…*sigh*

    I wish I knew then what I knew now, I may have been single, but at least I would’ve had my rights!

  204. ocean August 27, 2010 at 10:06 PM #

    Whoa, thank you thank you thank you 9-2 and Rebecca for clarifying for me so much of what’s in my mind and heart already… so much! 9-2 your writing style is in and of itself a pure joy to read, but then you go and deliver on content too!

    I feel unsafe with many of the men in my life today, as they all seem hell-bent on defending a “man’s” use of pornography as a necessity to their “biological needs”. To me they’re nothing but addicts in denial, their misogyny so inbred as to make them blind to it. I have found sweet solace in your blog. Thank you!

    Rebecca, your take on things is truly unique and enlightening. You put into words things so unformed in my mind, and I can’t fathom how I could’ve failed to see what you’re articulated so well, esp re emotion and privacy. Thank you!

    I have a feeling this will be my second home for a while, even if I’m not commenting, I’m here. I’m so sick at heart over the issues women face today, and the ignorance surrounding those issues both in women and in men. The unwillingness of the clones we live among to address things honestly is so nauseating on a daily basis that I find myself avoiding these issues entirely in my interactions, only to realize it’s not possible. Porn and degrading images of women are everywhere, getting under people’s skins insidiously. I sometimes feel like everyone around me is in some kind of Stepford wife/husband syndrome, just going along with whatever programming they received from cultural messages. And I live in NYC! Yet I feel alone in a bastion of liberalism where dissenting from harmful ideologies is supposed to be the norm. It is not. So thank you for this oasis. *Exhale!*

  205. joy August 30, 2010 at 9:32 PM #

    “And I live in NYC! Yet I feel alone in a bastion of liberalism where dissenting from harmful ideologies is supposed to be the norm.”

    You and me both, ocean. I live in Brooklyn, with supposed “radicals” (ie, the current leader of the SDS, the group that once spawned the Weather Underground), and none of them take a hard stance on porn or misogyny either.

    Tonight they were watching a fucking Rob Zombie movie, “The Devil’s Rejects.” Yes, they were. I idly made the point that serial killers like that in real life (people seem to forget that there really are people who hole up in farmhouses and kill other people while there) are what spoil it for those who wish to opt out -peacefully-, ie, the cops would raid a hippie commune or (say) a radical feminist community under the pretenses that we were violent or breaking the law.
    Nobody got it. “It’s just a movie, Joy, jeeze.”

    I finally said, mostly joking but partly not, that I would love to have a torture dungeon, and bring rapists and pimps there. I got a bunch of blank horrified stares. But by that point I was just pushing the envelope anyway.

    Apparently even among the supposed radicals in one of the most liberal cities in America, a bunch of women murdered in sexualized violent ways is okay. Even entertainment.
    Men who are shitstains on the face of humanity getting what they deserve — the mere IDEA, posed in an offbeat and lighthearted fashion, of violence against men — is horrific and unthinkable.

    Meanwhile, that terrible Eminem/Rihanna jingle glorifying domestic violence is playing right outside my window.
    Sometimes I wonder why I thought I’d be more free in the big city.

    I’m in fact going back to the country upstate for a few weeks, to honestly scope out the possibility for -starting- a radical feminist community. I’ll be back, and tell y’all what I find out.

  206. ocean August 31, 2010 at 6:06 PM #

    Joy, yes! I live in Brooklyn too, and most of my friends and acquaintances are artists, musicians and the like. It’s unfathomable how so-called unconventional types, individualists, and radical thinkers can be so stubbornly resistant to honestly investigating their views on women and porn. It’s like, why are these things compartmentalized into some untouchable region of their thinking? Why is everything BUT porn and women’s issues up for debate? The pay-off for this kind of thoughtlessness is.. I don’t even know what, except I guess they don’t want to open up that can of worms because it would require honest self-assessment, facing shame, and losing the comfort they’ve created in their habitual mental and emotional organization about these issues. I guess it’s like asking a sheep to question his shepherd, you know, the one who is leading him to the slaughter.

    I was reading, of all things, an old Men’s Movement book, and the author said that wherever there’s an issue for women there’s usually an identical, or parallel issue for men. I tend to agree (when I’m feeling generous anyway). But that brought me to think about porn, and to think about what it would look like if we reversed men’s and women’s roles in porn scenarios, where it’s now the guy who’s getting violated and hated, all in the name of “sex”. Using a device like this, it’s not that hard to see what porn really is about, when you switch the bodies around. (This isn’t what the author meant, but yes there are issues for men even if you don’t reverse the roles, as we know it’s damaging to them as well as women.) It’s just so freaking obvious. None of this stuff should have to be explained, especially to so-called liberal thinkers. All the evidence simply speaks for itself even without connecting it to deeper cultural issues of misogyny and patriarchy. Simply connecting it with your sense of humanity in and of itself would suffice to illustrate the wrongs inherent in contemporary porn.

  207. The Ghola Duncan Idaho September 24, 2010 at 3:40 PM #

    “I’m in fact going back to the country upstate for a few weeks, to honestly scope out the possibility for -starting- a radical feminist community. I’ll be back, and tell y’all what I find out.”

    also known as:

    “One step closer to the instantiation of a new Bene Gesserit Chapterhouse; One step closer to separating the Humans from the animals”

  208. sonia October 15, 2010 at 6:15 PM #

    i just want to say that the top of this thread, especially Buttkicker, never gets old. It’s one of my bad-day-at-the-desk fallbacks :))

    • Nine Deuce October 15, 2010 at 10:39 PM #

      I am tempted to tell you a very funny secret about Buttkicker, but I can’t do it in public. I think you might wanna e-mail me.

  209. FelixtheCat October 20, 2010 at 4:03 PM #

    This is a nice blog, but I disagree with you on one key point.

    I do believe genitalia should make a fuck. In fact, I believe that this is their main purpose.

  210. GraceMargaret October 21, 2010 at 10:44 AM #

    “Elizabeth Anderson, in a post quoted by RadGeek, said this:
    ‘Here’s a measure of how much a group is despised: how much malicious absurdity can one ascribe to its members and still be taken as a credible source on what they say and do?'”
    From the blog Finally, a Feminism 101 blog.

    Felix The Cat, I’d highly recommend checking it out, especialy the one dealing with strawman arguments (or strawfeminist, if you will). You just used a few in a couple of your posts.

  211. FelixtheCat October 21, 2010 at 5:29 PM #

    I can’t find that particular entry, could you link me?

    I’d also like you to know that I’m not bent on derailing this blog. Personally, I haven’t been actively involved in feminism for very long, so I’m bound to say a few stupid things.

  212. GraceMargaret October 21, 2010 at 7:11 PM #

    Hi, hope this works:

  213. FelixtheCat October 23, 2010 at 10:48 AM #

    Thanks Grace.

  214. Julian October 24, 2010 at 12:18 AM #

    I just saw a stupid little news report here in Oregon on KGW in which this lady interviewed a women who was raped from 4-7 and then sold as a sexual slave all the way in Russia at 17. You know the little box on the bottom of the screen, where they label their occupation? “Former Prostitute”.
    Bitches. >:|

  215. FelixtheCat October 24, 2010 at 1:00 PM #

    I heard you the first time, Grace. You don’t have to chase me through the entire blog with it.

  216. GraceMargaret October 24, 2010 at 3:59 PM #

    For some reason, my post didn’t seem to be going through. I acidentally posted it on this thread. I wasn’t ‘chasing’ you Felix, as you can see that particular post was directed at mr. newpairofeyes. My apologies.

  217. Trout November 9, 2010 at 10:32 PM #

    Today I was in Math class with some friends and they brought up gender roles..and I’m a pretentious fuck who always feels the need to get their word in but I thought I’d hold back this time and actually listen to what they had to say. Two of them (both are outspoken liberals and not religious) agreed that women are being fucked over in society. But the third one disagreed, she comes from a very religious background and is also an outspoken conservative. I just sat listened on how when she grows up she wants to serve her husband and she is okay with being second. I didn’t know what to say when they asked me… I didn’t wanna say “OH WELL! You should be more free, you should do what you want!” because I felt like me, a guy, telling her how to be independent would be counter-productive. How am I supposed to argue with this?

  218. Miss Andrist November 11, 2010 at 12:13 AM #


    Ask questions. Asking someone why they are doing something with a few pointed questions is almost always preferable to preaching and usually dramatically more effective.

    For example:

    “Didn’t you ever want to be the President when you were little?”

    Etc. ^_^

    -Miss Andrist
    Lover of Men

    • Nine Deuce November 11, 2010 at 4:50 PM #

      How about, “Right on for you, not wanting to be in charge. I suppose that means you don’t have an opinion on whether other women ought to follow the same path? I mean, you wouldn’t want to be a hypocrite, would you?”

  219. Linton January 1, 2011 at 6:49 AM #

    Not really sure where to write this, not really a comment on a topic as much as an appreciation for your views, so I may as well put it here.

    One thing I want to say first is that I am a ‘straight’ male. If you were under the assumption I am female, that could seriously change the tone of this comment…

    While I have not read enough of your blog (found it an hour ago, been reading it since then) to fully understand your views, as far as I can tell the main point you make is that women should have the same status as men in modern society.

    With that point, I most definitely agree. The segregation of women and men, though it evolved in humans in order for the species to survive, has run its course in usefulness. There used to be a reason men had a different role in society than women, and that was survival. These days, however, it does not matter if a woman becomes a soldier, or a man does the housework.

    So yes, I support your efforts in that matter, and in several others you have raised on this blog. Some things you have said, I do not agree with, but the majority, though slightly more extreme than I personally would express, seems to be, for lack of a better term, logical.

    When I get older (currently only 18), and hopefully have a family, somehow I see myself as the stay at home father, while my partner fills the role of the (not sure if this term is correct) ‘bread-winner’.

    Anyway, I can’t really remember what the point of this comment was, so I think I’ll just leave it there.

    P.S Maybe not. Have you ever seen the TV drama/comedy “Castle”? On an entertainment level I recommend it, but also it raises some points related to feminism. One of the main characters is a female cop, and if you look at the vast majority of both real life and fictional cops, you will find far more men than women.

    Also shown is Rick Castle…who I can’t really explain, you will have to watch the show, but is often portrayed as a mixture of the ‘traditional’ male and female roles when at home.

    Anyway, still can’t remember my point in writing this, so keep up the awesome writing,


  220. isme January 1, 2011 at 1:43 PM #

    “One of the main characters is a female cop, and if you look at the vast majority of both real life and fictional cops, you will find far more men than women.”

    Well…there are any number of long suffering secondary characters to assist the male, but not almost never as a lead. Note whose last name was used for the show, for example.

    Presumably men can’t relate to female characters. And either women can relate to males (somehow), or don’t watch TV.

  221. valeriesolanes January 12, 2011 at 8:02 AM #

    this will get your blood boiling…

  222. Linton January 15, 2011 at 5:59 PM #

    What the hell. That is disgusting. At first I thought it was a joke, but then I realized how long it was…I skipped through most of it, but what I read sounded as ridiculous as the ‘no mosque on ground zero’ argument.

    Discrimination by any feature of a human whatsoever is one of the worst things someone could do to a group of people, so I would advise everyone to just not read that article.

  223. Kyrie January 25, 2011 at 5:11 AM #

    ND, I’ve been reading articles on your blog for about three hours now, and you’ve basically said everything I have been feeling and struggling with in such an intelligent, eloquent way. And, oddly, seeing the extent of male priveledge laid so bare, I hope, can help me check my own priveledges as a white woman living above the poverty line.

    I honestly don’t believe that in my life time, people will pull their heads out of their asses long enough to treat each other decently, as human beings before gender/race/sexual preference/class. But I hope more people come here and read what you have to say, and aspire to that kind of world.

  224. LALAP February 6, 2011 at 9:36 AM #

    I was just trying to explain to someone last night (being the eve of super bowl sunday) why exactly it is that I hate football so very much. I realized that a lot of it has to do with the fact that it’s an industry that over and over again hands mountains of praise and money to some of the sickest among our population. Rapists, murderers, abusers, the whole lot (don’t even get me started on Michael Vick, the way people defend him makes me was to vomit on their faces). I’m curious if you’ve ever written on the topic. I’d love to hear someone articulate everything there is to dispise in a way that I’m just not capable. Please give me some ammunition for this time next year. :) -Again, love your blog. I’m devouring backlogs at an astonishing pace this weekend.

    • Nine Deuce February 6, 2011 at 11:36 PM #

      I have an entire category on the site devoted to “The Game.” Last Super Bowl Sunday, I did an entire feature about football that included several guest posts. Also, see this.

      As bad as Michael Vick is, let’s think about the way his case was handled vs. the way the Steelers have dealt with their quarterback, who has raped several women and continues to play for the team. I don’t give one fuck about football, but at least the Packers, whose QB has yet to be accused of multiple rapes, beat the team who puts money/post-season stats above women’s lives.

      I guess dogs, according to the NFL, deserve more humane treatment than female human beings. No surprise, really.

  225. lizor February 8, 2011 at 11:17 AM #

    “I guess dogs, according to the NFL, deserve more humane treatment than female human beings. No surprise, really.”

    Who knew PETA and the NFL would have so much in common?

  226. Jane February 9, 2011 at 5:34 PM #

    I hesitated to respond to this, I wanted to earlier but declined, but what the hell, here goes,

    being that I for past two years have been deconstructing the programming [or should I say strongholds of years of religious in-doctor ation/occult as well as During that hellish journey, coming to grips with and deconstructing the other more hellish in-doctrination via RA and that was done through goddess-occult bullshit, mixed with political secret societies and well, that’s all I’ll mention on that, so I slam them Both, no holds barred],

    well, part of the deconstructing and facing the demons that are one in the same [same side of same coin] was doing a lot of digging into religious past and the occult/secret societies and you see in my ancestry which lead to Generations of abuse of females including sexual abuse/and ritual abuse/mind programming, little Clue for ya, half of my family works for gov/my birth place was D.C., all on that, However,

    part of that was unfolding the ‘divination-gambling’ houses, the house that Jack built which of course ties Directly to prostitution/trafficking/power ploys and trade deals,

    of course protected by both the confessional [eye where hey hey how Else to get All those nasty little secrets of what so and so is doing and keep the Control over all] and the whole goddess/temple and gladiator Sports for the Elite class, [temples Also a form of ‘confessional’, secrets of men, pimps do far more than just sell rape]

    I’ll leave the ‘assassination’ bit out, but they are related, Anyhoo,

    this nice little packaged deal didn’t end with Mesopotamia nor Egypt nor Rome, why it simply modernized, in the West, the kings and queens and jacks,

    with the fraternal order of de brotherhood sealed with de blood, blood of course, sacrifices of the prostituted, poor fodder and slaves [esp for Entertainment in the house of Dagon]

    which now we call Football. And other convenient sports, modeled after the masculinity of Greece, of course, the beauty of it is, the Perks come with the use of slave bodies of women of every shape, size and age, the Divine Union, of course pay the temple and the more you can pay the ‘higher up’ the pyramid you go,

    play the game right and you can get all kinds of goodies on your opponent. The confessional works wonders,

    and Sure enough, like the tourist spoils of trafficking/sex slavery on the beast that rides the seas [tourist cruise ships] the Sports temples work somewhat of the same way, why they like the houses of Jack love the temple Brothels, or, even nicer,

    the under ground tunnels of bodies, warm and primed with the savagery of training, to be sweetly submissive and to serve the master as unto the ‘gods’, like any good goddess would,

    the trafficking of Prostitution. Oh yes, the Super Bowl of them all, the Bowl of the cup of iniquity, filled to the rim, for those who are of the so called fraternal order choosing, always at their best, offering prime rib meat for their Gladiators and Betters [just like horse races eh]

    trafficking under age girls, the goddess virgins,

    ah Yes, hasn’t changed one bit, Zeus would be delighted of course, and of course, the crowds cheer and zest for more, Bravo! Bravo!

    and then, of course, if that isn’t enough we can have a taste of that cup in the wormwood spectacle called Film and view the ‘to be gods’ with the extra oomph, the temples of willing women who just love the mega sex and rape sex for the gods menz,

    and of course, the shelters fill up with the blackened eyes of the Vesta’s of de houses of the commoners and slaves of, and the fraternal order of the gladiator universities are acquitted for

    yet one more gang rape…why those boys are just being boys, the citizen of Caesar says,

    but hey, at least they don’t Crucify us in the streets, or Do they?

    Oh wait, that’s Porn, oh yes, they just changed ‘methods’, terrorizing the minds of Psyche through medium, oops, media channels, all for the entertainment of course,

    of the menz.

    So much changes yet Nothing changes, it simply, changes uniform and method

    In solidarity,


  227. madi March 2, 2011 at 5:32 AM #

    Dude. Dude. DUDE. I can dig. Using the master’s tools to dismantle the master’s house and f*cking beyond. This blog makes me laugh out loud sitting in a room by myself, and god knows people don’t get enough of that shit. Play on, Nine Deuce, play on. WE DON’T GIVE A FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
    Sorry. Listenin’ to Dr. Dre. By accident.

  228. Elissa March 6, 2011 at 8:14 PM #

    You are fucking awesome!!!! I wish I can meet you in person!!!!! You articulate every thought and anger I’ve been harboring and you deliver it with such ease!!!!! So glad I found this site!

  229. Lilly March 29, 2011 at 2:45 AM #

    I wish more women and men read your posts. You have the BEST voice for feminism today. idol.

  230. Marissa March 30, 2011 at 6:51 PM #

    So, I just found this blog and so far find it hilarious. But, enough with the compliments. I am totally for feminism and the such. More so I am for humans being treating like humans, as you put it and it should be put. Only I have a personal problem and that with reading this blog has made me want to fix. I don’t know how to be friends with females. I don’t really know why I’m stating this question here and now (on a blog no less) but I kind of wouldn’t mind your insight. I honestly think a part of it is my attraction to multiple genders. I feel I might scare girls off with that set of information. By the way, have you written on “bi” sexuality? If so, point me the way. On a similar note, I feel like there is more of a brotherhood with men than there is a sisterhood with women, maybe I feel this way because of where I grew up, but I sort of get that feeling all around, no matter where one may live.

  231. Fatima August 12, 2011 at 5:31 AM #

    I couldn’t find an email address, but I felt like sharing this with you:

    More to rage about, I’d say.

  232. Sugarpuss August 13, 2011 at 12:15 AM #

    @Fatima: I see the MRA types are swarming the comment section. So, basically, even when men unleash their savagery on each other, women are still the primary target of their rage.

  233. lizor August 14, 2011 at 7:12 AM #

    Yeah, I found it pretty “interesting” that feminism is to blame for the rape of men by men.

  234. Patty Hot Sauce August 17, 2011 at 9:07 AM #

    Dear Nine Deuce,

    Just wanted to say that I am in love with your blog and wasted the whole morning reading though some of the archived posts (although, really, is time spent getting schooled on feminism ever wasted?). I found you in a roundabout way from I Blame the Patriarchy and am unbelievably ecstatic that there is yet another totally rad, hardcore patriarchy-blaming site out in internet-land. Thanks for your work here and I hope to be able to make a meaningful contribution to the comments section in the future!

  235. Ariel September 4, 2011 at 10:29 PM #

    Um… I just wanted to say wow, you’re awesome :) Witty, hilarious, and right about every fucking point. Keep it up! Just wanted to throw some well earned appreciation your way.

  236. rox September 11, 2011 at 8:00 PM #

    I wanted to e-mail this to you but don’t see your e-mail anywhere? Don’t know if you’ve seen these studies, I’ve been looking for as many as I can find with as little bias as possible (there are a lot with a very obvious bias). Wow interviews with male sex porn workers talking about what they think of female porn workers is interesting. When you watch porn, even if you think the chick is “fine” the guy fucking her probably doesn’t and probably considers the sex acts he’s performing to be a damaging act to her mental and emotional well being.

    “Performers reported a mean of 7.2 days of poor mental health in the past 30 days, compared with 4.8 days for CWHS respondents, and 33% met criteria for current depression, compared with 13% of CWHS respondents (p<.01). As children, the adult film performers were more likely to have been victims of forced sex (37% compared with 13% of CWHS respondents), to have lived in poverty (24% and 12%), and to have been placed in foster care (21% and 4%) (p<.01). In the past 12 months, 50% of the performers reported living in poverty and 34% reported experiencing domestic violence, compared with 36% and 6%, respectively, of CWHS respondents (p<.01). As adults, 27% had experienced forced sex, compared with 9% of CWHS respondents (p<.01). "

    "Twenty-one performers and both key informants noted that alcohol and drug abuse were common in the industry, especially among female performers. Four female performers discussed their own experience with drug use while in the industry. Many pathways to drug use were identified: (a) some performers came into the industry with a drug habit and used the money to pay for their habit, (b) some developed drug habits as a result of their social network, and (c) some used drugs as a means to cope with the stress, stigma, and emotional repercussions of their performing. A performer said, “Drugs in the industry do occur, but it seems to be the girls, not the guys.” Female performers were reported to begin using drugs to cope with performing. One male performer referenced female performers with the following statement: “If they were completely sober, no alcohol, no drugs, I guarantee you most of them would probably have mental breakdowns.” On the film set, marijuana use was highly prevalent, especially among male performers."

    "Mental health problems reported by performers included post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, bipolar affective disorder, and suicide. Five female performers described their own mental illness, and eight additional performers and key informants noted that mental illness was highly prevalent among female performers. A female performer felt that the mental health risk resulted from her time in the industry stating, “They try and break you and get you to the point where you just don’t care and you’ll just do whatever…I wasn’t a depressed person before I got into the industry. Now I’m considered bipolar.” While some performers developed mental health issues for the first time while in the industry, others entered the industry with mental health issues that may have been further exacerbated while performing. One female described her mental problems in the following way: “When I was new in the business and I realized that my life had changed so quickly in such a short period of time, I had an emotional breakdown. And I probably would have never had that breakdown if I never got into the adult business.” Respondents noted that mental health issues were more severe in women than in men. A current male performer said, “I would say that all of the women that come to porn are definitely broken…they’re coming from an abusive household, they were molested by an uncle, whatever it is.” One male performer stated, “Ninety-nine percent of porn girls are screwed up in the head because (what they’re doing is) not normal.” Mental health issues were not limited to females. One performer described a male performer who committed suicide: “He was lonely. Guys in this business who perform all the time, you can’t have a regular girlfriend. He was doing drugs, money was tight, he was going nowhere in life, killed himself.” No male performer described any personal mental illness."

    "According to 16 performers, female performers were susceptible to negative interactions with some adult film industry members. A performer described an agent’s behavior in this way: “A girl says I don’t do anal and then an agent will say you’re not going to get as many bookings. They will say that on purpose because they know that if a girl does anal that’s guaranteed work and that’s more money in his pocket. So he’ll try and get the girl to say, okay fine, I’ll do anal.” A female performer said, “The agents want girls to stay there at their place, and they provide everything for them. They expect you obviously to sleep with them or their friends. And then if you don’t, they just pass you off to another person. That’s what happened to me in the first three agents I had.” Another performer said, “An agent is nothing more than a glorified pimp. They certainly don’t warn the people what they’re getting themselves into because the people are nothing more than sides of beef that they’re going to shear off and send out almost unprepared to be slaughtered.” Another performer described how agents find female performers, “A lot of these girls are young and maybe they have a drug problem or whatever and they end up in the business because somebody that calls themselves an agent found them on the street corner and decided to exploit them.” A young female performer who had worked in the industry for 2 years said, “The producer can say, ‘You’re supposed to give me a blow job before we start even shooting. It’s been cleared with your agent.’"

  237. Empty Sack September 20, 2011 at 3:06 AM #

    Just want to say that I understand your rage even if I don’t quite agree with it. I think most guys don’t even want to think about how their behavior with respect to pornography and other things effects women who value equality. I know I didn’t until after I had had my testicles removed after an accident and I started feeling self-conscious about my masculinity. I have found women’s attitudes towards me being sans-testicles much more understanding than men’s reactions to me being “ball-less”, “nut-less”, unmanned, etc. In one case, when I expressed agreement with feminism, online, some asshole said: “you are a eunuch kept by dyke who cut off your balls and keeps them in a jar.” Oh well, there are worse things. I think it takes balls to be a feminist man.

    – The Ball-less Feminist Man

  238. Mark September 30, 2011 at 10:52 PM #

    I am a man, but have to agree with most of the sentiments from women on this site. I assume that there are sexual preferences of all kinds reading this, so please note that my comments are based on “traditional” relationships between women and men.

    My preference is women, and I am grateful that I lucked out in that regard. Women don’t need pity on top of everything else, but I gotta say I feel sorry that heterosexual women get stuck with men.

    That said, I want to talk about aesthetics, appearance, and such. The well-known double standard is that society expects women to look beautiful, or at a minimum, attractive. You are judged incessantly about how you look. Generally speaking, men can look like slovenly pigs, and nobody cares. While I should be thrilled at this, it pisses me off. Why?

    it’s because I have to look at them too, and I get tired of seeing some lazy shit in an F150 who won’t even shave his fucking ugly, dirtbag goatee or beard—-pass judgment on a woman who at least made an effort in front of the mirror that morning. For all the stereotypes and injustices endured by women in the “Mad Men” era, at least the men gave a damn about their appearances, too. Now, it’s as if men just quit trying entirely.

    Honestly, with very few exceptions, I can’t even imagine a woman doing a double-take at a man, because so many men are, well, unattractive–often of their own doing. Add all the neanderthal personality traits, and it’s no surprise that women are fed up with men.

  239. Sugarpuss October 1, 2011 at 7:00 PM #

    Mark said:

    For all the stereotypes and injustices endured by women in the “Mad Men” era, at least the men gave a damn about their appearances, too.

    Interesting (and valid) observation. And if you go back even further in history, men were especially fussy about their appearance. Many men in the 18th century wore wigs, tights & makeup. These days, such behavior would immediately be dubbed as “gay”. The modern American DudeBro club dictates that you’re not a real man unless you’re 40 lbs overweight, expel gas in public and have gravy stains on your Homer Simpson t-shirt.

    PS This is part of the reason why I’m currently celibate. I’m not into bestiality (ie. screwing pigs).

  240. isme October 3, 2011 at 1:26 AM #

    “The modern American DudeBro club dictates that you’re not a real man unless you’re 40 lbs overweight, expel gas in public and have gravy stains on your Homer Simpson t-shirt.”

    You’re still supposed to show off your wealth with shiny gold crap, aren’t you?

    And you have to wear those mind-controlling deodourants that make women seduce you in elavators.

    Not quite the same, but not totally different, IMHO.

  241. Sugarpuss October 3, 2011 at 7:20 PM #

    And you have to wear those mind-controlling deodourants that make women seduce you in elavators.

    You mean Axe body spray? LOL Unless they make that stuff in Hog Sweat scent, none of the dudes in my neighborhood wear it.

    Men smelling good. What a crime that would be. /snark

  242. isme October 4, 2011 at 5:27 AM #

    Well, I was thinking about “The Lynx Effect”, but whatever.

  243. Hecate October 8, 2011 at 2:46 PM #

    Hey, here’s a freaking fantastic Halloween idea girls! It would be mad fun! Putting hexes on all the things I hate most in this world:

  244. lizor October 9, 2011 at 8:24 AM #

    @Hecate – LOVE the link. Thanks!

  245. Hecate October 9, 2011 at 9:52 PM #


  246. Thank you October 19, 2011 at 2:41 AM #

    I have just spent the past 3 hours straight reading your blog. I literally have a headache now from staring at this damn monitor for so long! I just could not stop reading. It is now nearly 2 am and I’m starting to see colors I never knew existed so I’m going to keep this short and sweet for now:

    You are a lifesaver! It’s amazing to find a place where there is actually someone who doesn’t make you wish you hadn’t survived infancy. Every so often I get really excited. It happens when I think “Hey, there might still be some hope left….”

  247. Raina October 23, 2011 at 4:41 AM #

    Hi, Nine Deuce,

    Sorry to burden you with this, but I was wondering if you know of any good studies on the prevalence of rape and sexual violence perpetrated against women. I was recently involved in a debate about how women are oppressed worldwide, just not in developing countries, and I was called upon to provide statistics. I had no idea where to look for reliable statistics, especially since I did some criminology in university and we studied the disparity in self-reported statistics to statistics by police departmets, and since you’re very educated about the subject, I thought perhaps you might. I hope I’m not putting you to any trouble, just that you might know where I could look for further information (or whom I could ask), and that this comment doesn’t bother you.

    Thanks. :)

    • Nine Deuce October 23, 2011 at 9:01 AM #

      I know for sure several readers can help you out with this between now and when I’ll have a bit of time later on this week.

  248. pleasantwayne November 23, 2011 at 3:56 AM #

    After reading a bit of your writings, I find myself thinking more about what I do as a person, and I try to be a better person all around…but I find it odd how you can say you hate men, even if only a little. I’m sure this argument has been brought up before. While I can understand where anger can come from, noting the incredible amount of injustice and simple degradation men can and do inflict, is this really a reason to hate men? If situations were reversed, and simply having a penis meant I would be exposed to all of said degradation from women, would it be fair for me to hate women? I find your thoughts up to that to be incredibly well thought out, insightful, and helpful…but hating men seems to be less than genuine.

  249. pleasantwayne November 23, 2011 at 4:47 AM #

    After reading a bit more, I see you qualify that statement, and hence rescind my own.

  250. lizor November 24, 2011 at 10:35 AM #


    This is not so much stats, but in case you have not read it:

  251. lizor November 24, 2011 at 12:10 PM #

    @ Raina

    Sorry, I feel better posting this link, rather than to the big fat corporate bookseller. My apologies!!!

  252. Sugarpuss November 24, 2011 at 12:33 PM #

    @pleasantwayne: So…what about all of the mainstream woman-hating? What do you have to say about that? Have you ever called other men out on their misogyny? If not, you’re just as bad as they are…and richly deserving of hatred.

    Man-hating is perfectly justifiable; it is a normal human reaction to being hated on for thousands of years. So go fuck yourself, you bossy prick.

  253. Hecate November 24, 2011 at 1:24 PM #

    I wish it were just about how ‘individual’ men behave. But with systemic abuse of any kind, hatred of the oppressor should be expected and more than understood. The frustration is that this sentiment is embraced when it comes to social inequalities like racism, but rarely for sexism. Sexism is truly the last ‘acceptable’ form of discrimination.

    Many womyn come into this world violated and abused by men at an absurdly young age. I myself was raped with impunity by my grandfather from the age of seven. A man took it upon himself to introduce me to the world in this manner, and there’s nothing about that I’m supposed to hate?! Take your pompous, mansplaining ass elsewhere. There is nothing about the subordination of womyn and girls that could ever be justified, intellectually or otherwise. Until you feel that kind of oppression viscerally, on a daily basis, from the day of your birth, you will not understand what womyn have been dealing with in the face of patriarchal rule. Men hate the writings of Andrea Dworkin for example, because she takes the debate away from the language of what is being done to womyn, and puts an unflinching focus on the acts being committed to perpetuate a system of male dominance.

    The Nazis had endless rationalizations around what they did. I often see males using the same reasoning. For shame.

  254. gracemargaret November 24, 2011 at 9:38 PM #


    The problem is with the way most men define their masculinity as something in opposition to women, who use being male as an excuse hate women, to rape and abuse women. How are we supposed to handle this mentality? I don’t hate people for their gender, but I do hate people who use it as an exuse or justification of destroying women mentally, emotionally and physically. I’m actually suprised more women don’t express anger at men. It never ceases to amaze me how forgiving so many women are.

    Being born male isn’t a problem, but defining being a man as superior to women and using “just being a man” or “boys will be boys” as an actual excuse to harrass, abuse and rape women needs to be called out. And it needs to be called out by the men who claim not to be that way. If you abhor this toxic definition of masculinity that is all around us, speak UP.

  255. sneeky bunny November 25, 2011 at 8:07 PM #

    Well put gracemargaret.

  256. Sugarpuss November 26, 2011 at 3:24 PM #

    :) I love stuff like this. Men try to keep these facts hidden, but the truth will always prevail.

  257. Eric December 17, 2011 at 4:49 PM #

    Ever consider joining Flattr (a micropayment platform for web content)? Although, to be fair, it might damage your reputation as a self-proclaimed “altruistic as fuck” freedom fighter.

  258. Francois Tremblay January 10, 2012 at 4:23 AM #

    Hey, I’m still going through your blog and I just hit the entry where you call yourself pro-abortion. I’m actually in the middle of a pro-abortion series right now on my blog and I was wondering if you’d mind if I declare you a fellow pro-abortion blogger?
    I’ve posted my definitions over here:

    • Nine Deuce January 10, 2012 at 5:21 AM #

      Short answer: you sound like a dude trying to impose his political vision on my body.

  259. Francois Tremblay January 10, 2012 at 6:06 AM #


    • Nine Deuce January 10, 2012 at 6:16 AM #

      Really? You think telling me I MUST abort is better than telling me I MUST NOT abort? Your view of an appropriate future might make more sense than that of Pat Robertson, but you are still trying to make rules for what goes on in my body. The point of feminism is that I am a human being, and that you do not, as a male human being, get to tell female human beings what they must do with their bodies. Get it? I demand that you have a vasectomy tomorrow. Are you going to do so? Your pro-abortion stance assumes that men will be impregnating people, and that it is women’s responsibility to not give birth. If you’re so anti-procreation, how about you write a pro-vasectomy series, which would address something you are actually qualified to discuss.

  260. Francois Tremblay January 10, 2012 at 3:44 PM #

    No, I was saying “okay” as an acknowledgement of what you said, and as an acknowledgement that I was shutting up and letting you or others talk. But since you’re asking me a direct question (I’m not sure if it’s sarcastic or not), I will shortly explain what I mean.

    You are actually the one who opened my eyes to the fact that voluntaryism equally applies to sexual libertarians, so I was rather stunned to see you use a voluntaryist argument. In actual fact, we do impose our political visions on people’s bodies all the time. We prohibit murder, theft, fraud, rape, sexual harassment, and so on (granted, none of these are fairly prohibited), because we have an idea of what society should be like (presumably, as safe as possible without interfering with people who are not attacking or intruding on others) and what it shouldn’t be like. (the issue of the legitimacy of laws is another thing entirely- laws are written by men for men, and they are enforced extremely unevenly and violently, but the basic principles are just)

    I just wanted to know if we were on the same page. I apologize if what I wrote on my entry was offensive, that wasn’t my intent.

  261. Kate June 5, 2012 at 5:37 AM #

    I love this site but haven’t been on in a long while, and couldn’t stop myself from commenting about the first few comments here. Why is it that the men who hate feminists all suppose that we are sexually unsatisfied or have been rejected by men? In my experience it’s been the opposite that has caused me to become fed up. I’m sick of being objectified and groped by strangers (and I am really in no situations that you would expect that sort of thing to happen; every time it’s occurred has been while going about normal, everyday business like grocery shopping or something) and I’ve been in a monogamous, heterosexual (I mention that because many of the more vocal a-holes seem to think all feminists are ‘lesbos’), sexually active relationship for eight years; I’m tired of women as a whole being referred to as ‘bitches’ or ‘snatch’ or any of the other disgusting, dehumanizing shit they come up with. And just because I’m getting pissed off now: I saw a fucking bumper-sticker yesterday that read “If it wasn’t meant to be eaten, it wouldn’t be shaped like a taco.” And then after the disgusted shouting in the privacy of my car is over a bit of my brain says, “Does anyone with a vagina let that man get near it? Really?”

  262. Hecate June 5, 2012 at 11:08 AM #

    Oh I completely identify with you there, Kate. I’ve often heard male co-workers going on about how female co-workers they regard as ‘uptight’ would do well to get laid and they discuss who should do her the favor. And yes, men broadcast these things loudly and in the most crass ways imaginable. I’ve seen similar bumper stickers too, and also, disgustingly, ‘truck nuts’ hanging from the hitch of pick-up trucks. I nearly lost my lunch when I first saw that! I think men will always do whatever they can to ensure maximum discomfort for females in the public sphere. Saudi women not being allowed to drive or go out unescorted by a male relative is one of the most obvious indicators of this intention. Here in the west, it’s ‘sometimes’ more subtle. But still, it’s always been pretty clear to me.

    I like going on really long hikes, for example, and the comments from men are more or less all the same. “Well, that’s great darlin’ – just don’t expect you’ll come back alive!” Manic laughter ensues. You gotta love it. It’s ultimate proof of male insecurity to have to threaten anyone in this manner.

  263. isme June 5, 2012 at 3:16 PM #

    “Why is it that the men who hate feminists all suppose that we are sexually unsatisfied or have been rejected by men?”

    Well, what else are they supposed to think?

    Barring actually understanding there is a massive social problem they are benefitting from (at least nominally) and that they are almost certainly guilty of assisting, that is. And then having to admit they aren’t automatically superior.

    Very few ways you can acknowledge the existence of feminists while keeping that mindset. Personally, I sometimes wish people like that would be honest about it, and declare their bigotry was decided upon for what they perceived to be for their own self interest.

  264. Lindsay November 23, 2012 at 3:28 PM #

    Hi, I just stumbled your blog and was really excited about it until I noticed that your site links people to prostitution information written by someone (in this case Melissa Farley) whose research is SERIOUSLY FLAWED. 1. Biased sampling 2. No indication or vague references as to how interviewees were recruited. 3. Cherry picking the worst examples and generalizing them to the whole. 4. Has never published in a peer-reviewed journal. 5. Is currently under review by the APA (American Psychological Association) for complaints made about her regarding her flawed research. 5. Her testimony during the Bedford v. Canada trial was considered “highly questionable” by Justice Himel. For someone who advocates for women’s rights (and I would assume human rights more generally), it seems awfully strange that you’d link to Melissa Farley’s prostitution research site, when Farley’s own rhetoric is completely hateful bigotry. For example, ” Prostitution has its very own plantation system. While the women in street prostitution work the fields, call girls, escorts and massage parlor workers are the house ni****s of this system.”

    While I am not anti-porn or anti-prostitution, if you are going to post links, at least use credible sources.

  265. lizor November 26, 2012 at 6:32 AM #

    I went looking for information on Farley’s research and found the top [Google calibrated] critique coming from the website of a former call girl posting under the name Maggie Macneill. She includes the judge’s statement re: Farley’s research, which boils down to two issues: that Farley had already formed opinions about prostitution before conducting her research (how can anyone live in this society and honestly assert that they have no opinion about prostitution?) and that women who work indoors don’t experience as much violence as street workers, there for not all prostitution is inherently violent.

    Interestingly, at the bottom of the post, the blogger links to another of her posts about dealing with repulsive clients. I will share a couple of short excerpts:

    (the final sentence here speaks volumes)

    “Paula, who started working for me on her 18th birthday, asked me the same thing: What if the guy is just really gross or ugly? My reply to her was, “You know who was the sexiest man who ever lived? Benjamin Franklin, and you get three pictures of him every time you do a call.” Paula took my meaning immediately and saw the truth in it, which is that this is a job for us, not a date; everyone who deals with the public has some unpleasant clients, and we are compensated much more generously than most for having to deal with them. It will probably be a lot easier for my female readers to understand this than my male, firstly because physical attraction is a much larger part of the male sexual equation, and secondly because men need to be aroused to sexually perform while women do not; on the most basic level, all that is required of a woman is her physical presence.”

    “This focus on the task rather than the man not only allows her to ignore any repellent features he may have, but also creates an emotional distance between them which serves to insulate her from possible negative feelings most women might experience in such a situation”

    Leading to the revelatory,

    “I have found that my professional detachment even helped me to get through the times I was raped by clients (as I will discuss tomorrow and Monday), though in those cases I was concentrating on relaxing (so as to avoid injury), keeping myself calm and planning my next move should he become even more violent.”

    But it’s not an inherently violent or dangerous profession.

    I think the Farley quote you posted is apt. Too many women and men steeped in the denial of patriarchy are able to hear truth lain so bare.

  266. Hecate December 16, 2012 at 7:41 PM #

    I will always sympathize with women who end up prostituted for whatever reason. Though as with many females, it was my family that first got rapey on me and decided my body and mind belonged to them. Sadly, it does seem to start there. I wouldn’t say all women in prostitution necessarily have exactly that same history. But I do believe that all violence is grounded in control issues. And everyone, both men and women, seem to prefer visions of females in chains.

    Whether it be sexual violence or physical assault escalating to murder, the perpetrator always seems to have that strong desire to play God. Of course it doesn’t help that we all still live under the oppressive patriarchal thumb. Under that paradigm, the male is clearly considered divine and divinely entitled to all he surveys.

    At this point, I am just tired of social controls in general. It may help that we are seeing the nuclear family model disintegrate, thus hopefully also cutting away psychological games/ warfare relatives and others get to play with women.

    As some of you here know, my mother is one of the relatives who sexually abused me. She’s such a nut job, she now expects I’ll take an interest in her New Age crap. She actually thinks she’s some spiritual guru! Wow, if that’s a guru, we are truly knee deep in it…

    With such things happening on a grand scale for some time now, is it any wonder so many have a fascination with the ‘end times’ or Armageddon? Those are the ultimate fantasies of the oppressed. They have a vision of society imploding once and for all, allowing a space for real change, growth and new beginnings. Though I hardly believe, as the New Age types do, that everything is ending December 21st. But I admit, that fantasy lives in me too.

    • Nine Deuce December 16, 2012 at 9:40 PM #

      Someone I work with believes patriarchy will end on December 21. Of course, she also thinks the poles are going to reverse on that date and that the reversal will somehow cause the end of patriarchy, but…

  267. Hecate December 16, 2012 at 9:53 PM #

    :D Ah, wishful thinking!

  268. gracemargaret December 17, 2012 at 12:47 AM #

    Hecate, It’s not at all unusual for New Age gurus or someone with religious authority to be sexual abusers. I’ve been interested in studying cults and religion, and time and again there is exploitation and mental/sexual abuse by those in authority. There is one asshole guru named Andrew Cohen who goes around saying ‘at least I never sexually abuse anyone,’ as if that’s some amazing accomplishment. Of course he is incredibly mentally abusive and authoritarian, and abuses people financially.

    There is a great book called The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power that goes into both cult/religious abuse and authoritarianism in general. End of the world prophecies are also common. If you keep people in a state of fear they don’t use their critical thinking skills and are more susceptible to suggestion and manipulation.
    If we all don’t die in five days, you should check it out. :)

  269. Hecate December 17, 2012 at 1:18 PM #

    Thank you gracemargaret. I know, the sheer hypocrisy of it all. I wish I knew what that impulse to control was all about. I have no desire whatsoever to manipulate anyone, ever, because it was done to me. My insane mother is now into this dude Michael Beckwith. I suppose he looks harmless enough, but to me he’s just another snake looking to profit off of the insecurities of people who need serious help.

    I am very familiar with most of those prophecies thanks to being raised Seventh Day Adventist. I probably should have considered ‘exit therapy’ after my relatives finally made the (uncharacteristically brave) decision to abandon them. Luckily I wasn’t involved for long.

    As for the 21st, I am just planning a nice, long bath :) And maybe a long walk, though the crazies might be out in force at that point.

  270. isme December 18, 2012 at 10:41 AM #

    Although I can understand people wondering if the fears of the end is reflective of some social change or other, people have been convinced the End Times or somesuch were almost upon them since time immemorial.

    This time next month, people will go back to confusing the Mayans with the Incas and the Aztecs again.

  271. Hecate December 18, 2012 at 4:03 PM #

    Indeed! Actually I am hoping for a ‘rapture,’ in which my relatives and all of the other New Age people will suddenly be magically transported to another universe, so I no longer have to listen to their self righteous blather. According to them, I am a ‘negative thinker who does not believe in the ‘abundance’ the universe has to offer.’ Well, if it’s an abundance of bullshit, guess what, universe?

  272. Sugarpuss December 18, 2012 at 6:20 PM #

    physical attraction is a much larger part of the male sexual equation

    What a lie. I’d rather be shot, dragged by horses, have my left arm dipped in hydrochloric acid and my clitoris gnawed off by a rabid woodchuck than have sex with a man I’m not physically attracted to. I’m deadly serious, folks. And, really, that’s how it’s supposed to be. Nature designed all female creatures to be highly selective. Unfortunately, beta trash males are the ones in charge, and they have completely turned everything around. Now, women engage in unnatural competitive behaviors, to garner male attention. This is the exact opposite of other mammals, as anybody who has ever bothered to watch PBS for more than 30 seconds can attest to.

  273. hello December 30, 2012 at 6:42 AM #

    Nine Deuce, here is something you might want to write about. It’s about the arrest of pre-teen boys for sex crimes being influenced by internet porn. tragedy.

  274. Mimi January 27, 2013 at 1:17 PM #

    This is such a cool site!! I’m so glad I found people that feel the same way as me, I’ve been to other sites to express my views but all I got was a ton of guy trolls telling me off, nice to know theres a good site like this that speaks truth!! Thanks so much!!

  275. C. Schloemer June 1, 2013 at 12:44 PM #

    I apologize. I now see you have a Porn Series to peruse.


  276. DoctorScience September 2, 2013 at 4:15 PM #

    You, Nine Deuce, seem like someone I’d be interested in learning from. I warn you however, I do have a penis and was raised with all that implies. As such, I will apologize in advance for any such accidental excrement of the mouth that I may yet fail to avoid.
    I read an article that I assume to be yours, the one about being a Man Hater. Something that piqued my ire (targeted not at the author, but at the truth of the statement) was that man was the default human. That we currently live in a society where that statement is true makes for a pathetic waste of intellectual resources (and that makes me grumpy), the prodigious ethical . As a species, no such default in regard to biological gender or gender identity should be made. As well, I personally believe that to leave any individual out of the brain pool with the purpose of social advancement, for any reason, is an illogical, archaic, and wasteful act. It lacks rational and effective use of humankind’s intellectual resources.
    I have no words to say for the actions of my gender that I expect would hold any weight. I am a male, therefore I have no frame of reference or a true understanding of what women go through on a daily basis. I would extend an apology if I expected it to be taken as genuine; the lack of my expectation stemming from my self admitted ignorance therefore I feel an apology from me may well be offensive.
    To summarize, gender inequality issues are not only unfair, but are also archaic, illogical, and wasteful. These social constructs hold the entirety of our species back from attaining advancement.

    • CPB September 2, 2013 at 8:02 PM #

      This smells like a troll post, but I’ll bite anyway:

      “As a species, no such default in regard to biological gender or gender identity should be made.”

      Pseudo-intellectual men are forever threatened by the scientific community’s assertion that the default gender is female and I doubt you are an exception. Barring religiosity, which dictates that male is the default gender, female development is indeed the default. Even in the case of a normal XY male, if the SRY gene on the Y chromosome doesn’t trigger (e.g. castration), then the female developmental path will result, hence ‘default’. This was proven in an experiment many years ago with rabbits by Alfred Jost. This information is just as true today as it was years ago and *still* not up for debate.

      Some of life’s actual mysteries: How many times am I going to have to reiterate this info before men finally ‘get’ it? Why does every man who knows nothing about science attempt to associate themselves with the scientific community?

      PS You are painfully bad at attempting to sound smart and instead come across as desperate and insecure. Quit now while you’re far, far behind.

      • DoctorScience September 3, 2013 at 12:01 AM #

        A bit harsh on the wording, but the lesson is appreciated anyway. Prof. Jost’s findings are fascinating. I hadn’t seen them before. I believe I’ve already owned up to my ignorance on the topic.
        I apologize for stinking of trolls, but I want to learn and tried to take the express that I understand that I’m ignorant on this topic and that there’s probably a lot of things I take for granted because I’m a male. If that makes me sound “desperate and insecure” then so be it. I’ll never quit trying to learn, or trying to be who I think I should by way of education, regardless of how far, far behind someone may think I am.
        I won’t attempt to sway your opinions of me, though I’d appreciate if we could remain civil. Again, I won’t quit trying to learn something that I feel I should know, so thanks again for the tidbit. If there were other errors in my logic or knowledge and there’s more proof that you’d like to hand out, I’d appreciate that as well, but I also request that you be less demeaning in your explanation next time. That said, any new knowledge is appreciated, regardless of the flames surrounding it.

        • CPB September 3, 2013 at 11:36 AM #

          “If there were other errors in my logic or knowledge and there’s more proof that you’d like to hand out, I’d appreciate that as well, but I also request that you be less demeaning in your explanation next time.”

          I’m not your mommy so, no, I won’t be doing your research for you. Grow up, troll. Try not crashing into a blog and condescendingly schooling women about biology (incorrectly no less), ‘Doctor Science’. Ugh…..

          “That we currently live in a society where that statement is true makes for a pathetic waste of intellectual resources (and that makes me grumpy), the prodigious ethical . As a species, no such default in regard to biological gender or gender identity should be made.”

          Yeah, that is not owning up to any ignorance. That is the wording of a misguided man who considers himself to be a foremost scientific authority. In all fairness, I don’t think I’ve ever met a man who didn’t assume he knew more than women on any given topic. So, your delusional arrogance and false humility is par for the entitled male course of development. Lucky us…..

          PS Your grammar is also shit.

        • Sugarpuss September 4, 2013 at 12:27 AM #

          A bit harsh on the wording

          Why are you so easily offended? Some dude called me a “fucking cunt” on a pro-wrestling forum, and you think CPB’s response to you is “harsh”? LOL You spoiled piece of shit. There will be no mercy for you while Sugarpuss is on watch. No red carpet will be rolled out, no foot rubs, and NO FUCKING SANDWICHES. So I suggest that you tread lightly, because I’m about explode with epic rage if I see anymore whining about your delicate fee-fees being hurt, you fucking douche.

  277. troubariz August 9, 2014 at 6:58 AM #

    I SO love and admire your blog! Please please write a book for us who prefer paper to screen! Greetngs from Sweden and congrats to the best feminist blog I have encountered this far!

  278. Samuel Ensude August 8, 2015 at 8:04 AM #

    Loved your rape solution, I’d take castration even further, castrate all felons, castrate any boys that go to juvenile corrections. Smash patriarchy by smashing the testicles, ball busting should be taught to girls in middle school.


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