I basically go off, dude. People all over the internet call me rad. They call me fem, too, but I’m not all that fem. I mean, I’m female and I have long hair and shit, but that’s just because I’m into Black Sabbath. I don’t have any mini-skirts, high heels, thongs, or lipstick or anything, and I often worry people with my decidely un-fem behavior. I’m basically a “man” trapped in a woman’s body. What I mean is that, like a person with a penis, I act like a human being and expect other people to treat me like one even though I have a vagina. That doesn’t mean anyone ever meets my expectations, but I still have them. It’s too bad so few people are as smart as I am or they’d have all figured out by now that genitalia oughtta not make a fuck (read that last bit with a redneck accent) and that we should all get to be human beings instead of “women” or “men.” It’s really too bad.
So, I started this blog.
This is the page where everyone finds out who Nine Deuce is, right? Like what I’m into, whether I’m gay or straight, old or young, hot or not, cool or weak sauce, black or brown or red or yellow or white (because those are the only five options), fat or skinny, tall or short, Scientologist or Wiccan? Right, here goes:
- I like poetry slams, chili cookoffs, Renaissance faires, bluegrass festivals, tailgate parties, fun runs, and Bible camps.
- I also like spinning in circles, drawing pictures of horses, braiding hair, picking flowers, and loudly discussing my stock trading activities at tapas bars.
- I can often be seen in Central Park on a unicycle selling cotton candy or playing with my hackey sack and devil sticks.
- When I’m not doing that I’m working as a roadie for Blues Traveler and getting tattoos in Chinese that I can’t read but that I’m sure say shit like “love” and “courage.”
- My car has several bumper stickers on it. They read, “All gave some, some gave all,” and “These colors don’t run,” and “Never forget,” and “It’s a choice, not a child,” and “Honk if you’re gay,” and “Show us your tits!”
- My favorite movie is Talladega Nights, but I can also appreciate Will Ferrell’s early work.
- I carry a ghetto blaster with me everywhere I go, and I alternate between “Centerfield” by John Fogerty and “Boogie in Your Butt” by Eddie Murphy.
- I’ve got 9 kids from 10 dads (none of whom are white), 1 transgendered Chinchilla, and a giant Belgian rabbit who only eats carnitas.
- I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion.
219 Comments
March 20, 2008 at 8:52 pm
You need to address your anger and lighten up a bit, as serious as you think these issues are most of us just do our best to be good human beings and actually get on with life.
Cheers
March 20, 2008 at 11:42 pm
I think it’s pretty easy for a dude to tell someone to lighten up. As soon as you aren’t part of the group that runs everything, go ahead and start telling people to stop worrying about being shat on. As soon as the porn industry is dominated by images of men being choked and called derogatory names, tell me to stop being angry. As soon as men start getting raped on the same scale women do, and as soon as women start beating their husbands to death, you can come tell me this shit doesn’t matter. As soon as women can walk down the street without assholes harassing them, as soon as women earn equal pay for equal work, as soon as our bodies aren’t used as decoration for advertising and entertainment, tell me I have nothing to be irritated by. As for doing our best to be good human beings, that’s what I’m about here. I’m trying to do something to alleviate some of the ills I see plaguing women in our culture, if only by making one person at a time more aware of the problems that exist. But thanks for the patronizing pedantry.
March 21, 2008 at 4:49 am
Your suggestion that there is actually a oppressor/ oppressed relationship between men and women is at best illusory. In any case I’m not saying that you should stop fighting for a better deal for anyone but you are so obviously VERY angry about this and such anger will tear you apart in the long run. so my suggestion that you lighten up is all about strategies for self preservation rather than support for the “evils” that piss you off.
The porn industry is here to stay and while I share some of your concerns about some aspects of it just about all of the women who participate in it do so entirely consensually but there are whole sub genres of porn where men are in fact treated exactly as you describe, in both Straight and Gay porn. Every one has their own tastes when it come s to erotica and really this does not have anything to do with gender equality.
I detest rape as much as you obviously do but the relationship between Porn and rape is tenuous at best because, But when it come to Domestic violence I suggest that instead of taking the “all men are rapists line” I suggest that you explore the work of Erin Pizzey some one who has the track record to know what she is talking about.
When the fashion industry (which is dominated, by women and homosexuals) tells women to dress in a sexually provocative manner all of the time men will notice. I don’t live in the US and here in Australia we do have legislation that mandates equal pay for equal work, not perfect but closer to good than in your country. When it comes to advertising there is these days an equality of sorts because I see just as many “himbos” draped half naked in advertising as there are women doing the same . We will never get away from our basic biological imperatives for attractive people get our attention and I suspect that your puritan tendencies here are bound to give you more pain than satisfaction.
A laudable enough ambition but anger on its own will not achieve much and the toll that it will take on you at a personal level will be higher than you expect. I tend to think that persuasion rather than trying to brow beat anyone into your position is a better way to go because if you want to change the world so that it is better for women you have to find a way to bring men along as well and you won’t do that with an “Us and Them” attitude
I’m not trying to patronise you at all I’m just shooting the breeze in a blog comment about issues I’ve thought a lot about. Now you can keep writing pieces full of piss and vinegar or you can learn from others who have done the anger thing and moved on to a more fruitful duologue about the issues , it is entirely up to you. But ask your self which is going to be the more effective way to effect change, even one person at a time?
Cheers & best wishes
Iain Hall
March 21, 2008 at 9:27 pm
I’ve gotta get on a plane, so I’ll respond when I get back. For now I’ll just say that, for someone who has supposedly given more thought to these issues than I have and has come to some kind of superior vantage point from which to discuss them (which is a fucking laugh) and for someone who chooses to adopt such a condescending tone, you sure don’t seem to know much about what you’re talking about (as in statistics, facts, correlations), nor do you seem able to see the big picture behind the concerns you so cavalierly dismiss. For now you may want to read this and this.
March 21, 2008 at 9:37 pm
iain –
as a man, i am embarrassed to be of the same gender as you, but i can sleep at night because at least i live in a different hemisphere. i suggest that you think a little more about the issues that you have thought a lot about, and then keep thinking a little bit more, until you realize how retarded you are. good luck with that son.
paternally yours,
heywood
March 27, 2008 at 8:48 am
Anger is a valid weapon of the oppressed. Telling us not to be so angry out of pseudo-concern is akin to telling us that we should put away one of our most potent weapons and play by your rules. Those same rules which have been slanted in your favour for millennia. You control history, culture and the legal system, which means if we play by your rules we already start out at a huge disadvantage.
If you actually took the effort to open your mind while reading sources such as this (http://www.amptoons.com/blog/the-male-privilege-checklist/) then maybe you’d understand why we’re so angry. You’d also appreciate the fact that incredibly intelligent people write out fantastic arguments and observations in the faint hope that people like you will listen.
As for the relationship between porn and gender equality and porn I suggest you look at Robert Jensen’s work.
If you think you see as many himbos as bimbos in advertising then you are noticing the change of the default objectified human. This is similar to the effect two powerful women and one male POC on a committee of a hundred, the committee is seen as representing a range of views and experience, the fact that 97 of the people are white guys doesn’t mean much, because white male men are seen as the default. An exception to the rule doesn’t prove the rule doesn’t exist. I’d also note that in mainstream Western culture the attractive woman is portrayed as weak, with her breasts and arse highlighted. Her nakedness represents vulnerability. The attractive male is portrayed as strong, his muscles highlighted. His nakedness represents his strength.
I sincerely hope you get over your privilege and truly believe that I, as a woman, deserve to be treated as human.
March 27, 2008 at 11:11 pm
How is telling someone to ’shut up’, especially with no further dialogue ’shooting the breeze’? Notice that you (Nine Deuce) are not meant to make an informed choice to not be angry, but to listen to the man and accept what he says without explanation and without debate.
Fruitful dialogue? Ha. And they wonder why we’re angry.
March 28, 2008 at 2:23 am
Alright Iain, I’m back and I’m ready to address your paternalistic attempt to show me the error of my ways, however ill-advised that may be.
I’m not angry in the sense that you’d like to think I am. It doesn’t keep me up at night, disrupt my life, or cause me physical harm. I’m just aware of what’s going on, that it’s unjust, and that extreme terms are what’s needed to get my point across at times. It’s called style. I’m an excellent writer. What can I say? Still, why do you think it’s your job to tell me how to express myself? Where do you get the idea that you know better than I do what I ought to spend my time on? You sound like those jagoffs I hear prefacing some ridiculously misinformed racist nonsense with, “What the black community needs to do is…” I’d like to think you’re just concerned for my well-being, which would be patronizing and insulting anyway, but that isn’t what’s going on here. What you’re doing is trotting out one of the classic anti-feminist cliches: feminists are angry, which means they’re emotional, and thus irrational. Well, sorry. I’m a rational motherfucker at all times, and my logic is airtight.
As for the porn industry, I don’t know whether it’s here to stay, but I do know that it’s detrimental to women’s existence and I therefore am going to do whatever I can to bring attention to that fact. I’m aware that some women participate in pornography willingly, as you define that term, but I believe that in a society in which women were treated as if they possessed the same measure of humanity that men do, pornography would not exist (at least in the form that it does today) and women would not be willing to participate in its production. But I don’t agree that such a large portion of the women in porn are willing participants. It’s a completely unregulated industry that has an obscene track record of abusing minors, keeping women in sexual slavery, pumping confused young women full of drugs, and countless other abuses. I fail to see how women make unfettered choices under those conditions. Did you know that as many as 3/4 of women in porn have serious drug problems?
The idea that pornography has nothing to do with gender equality is a real laugh. I second the idea that you look up some of Robert Jensen’s work, and maybe watch the video I posted under the title “Fuckin’ A.” Robert Jensen uses a fairly clear example several times: let’s say I have to go to ask my boss for a raise, or ask a judge to treat me fairly in court, and that boss or judge has spent the previous evening watching “Filthy Cum Sluts 23.” Do you think he’s going to see me as an equal that deserves the same treatment he would expect for himself? Pornography is anti-woman propaganda; its message is loud and clear and that message is that women are here to be used like toilet paper by any man who should wish to. The message is definitely NOT that women are human beings who deserve respect and equitable treatment, or even the right to decide what to do with their own bodies. The idea that such a message doesn’t contribute to rape is absurd. There is more statistical proof that porn consumption fuels sexual assaults than there is that says otherwise. You can cherry-pick a study or two that says porn doesn’t contribute to rape if you want to, but you’ll just be Exxon telling me that a study exists that proves that global warming is a myth.
The fact that there exists a sub-genre of porn in which men are dominated by women does not disprove the theory that women are treated like sexbots in porn, because the men in these scenarios are still the ones in control; the woman is performing for the man’s pleasure, not the other way around, as is the case in nearly all porn. As for gay porn, the dynamic is much less psychologically dehumanizing in the vast majority of it, and when it is dehumanizing, it’s usually dehumanizing for the performer assuming the “feminine” role.
I absolutely never said that all men are rapists, but nice try. You aren’t going to misrepresent my position if you want to argue with me.
Yes, the fashion industry is dominated by women and gay men, but guess who they’re all trying to impress? Men.
I am not puritanical. I’m a liberal, which means I think people ought to do whatever they like, provided they aren’t hurting anyone *and* provided that they know what they are doing. There is a huge difference between being puritanical, which would mean I want to tell people to cover up and deny their sexuality, and wishing that women had the ability to express their own sexuality in their own terms instead of in terms of male fantasies.
You really ought to go back and have a look at your response and think about how patronizing and presumptuous it is. I’ve seen your blog, and I’ve read your posts here, and I am left with a question. I am clearly much, much smarter than you are, and I obviously know a lot more than you do about feminism and gender issues (and history, politics, government, and culture), so where would you get the idea that you could come here and tell me how I ought to spend *my* mental energies?
March 28, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Yes, you are a great writer!
I am going to keep reading. Thanks
March 28, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Thanks, SAAM. I was kind of kidding about that one. I like to pretend to be more arrogant than I really am at times because it tends to really irritate MRAs who think they’re smarter than all us womenfolk. I’m glad you like the blog!
March 28, 2008 at 3:54 pm
I meant it, as being an aspiring writer, I am reading your stuff, thinking, ‘Shit, I wish I could write like that.”
I know what you mean about arrogance. I like irritating people!!
March 28, 2008 at 10:22 pm
I’m with SAAM on your writing ability Ninedeuce.
As for irritating MRAs and fundies? Just one of the more satisfying perks of the job. -evil laugh’n’smile-
March 29, 2008 at 1:01 am
Your writing is always on point, 9-2. Take a bow.
March 29, 2008 at 7:10 pm
I SUPPOSE ALL YOU LIBERAL WOMAN HATERS THINK YOU CAN JUST MAKE FUN OF A MAN AND BECAUSE THERE ARE MORE OF YOU THAN IT MAKES YOU THE WINNER. IT’S A FEMINIST BLOG!!!!!! WHO DO YOU THINK READS IT MORE MEN OR WOMEN? OH I FORGOT YOU ARE STUPID LIBERAL WOMEN THAT ARE UPSET BECAUSE A MAN DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. IAN IS SMARTER THAN YOU ALL AND JUST BECAUSE HE IS ON A FEMINAZI WEBSITE YOU WILL NOT SUCCEED IN TRYING TO MAKE A GOOD MAN LOOK STUPID. IF YOU FEMINAZIS WOULD JUST LEARN TO RELAX THAN EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST FINE. MAYBE YOU SHOULD SMOKE A JOINT THAT’S RIGHT I’M A LIBERTARIAN AND I SUPPORT DRUG LEGALIZATION BECAUSE MAYBE IF DRUGS WERE LEGAL YOU FEMINAZIS WOULD RELAX AND GET LAID AND FINALLY BE HAPPY. I KNOW THAT YOU ALL MUST BE UGLY TO BE FEMINAZIS BUT I PROMISE YOU CAN FIND AN UGLY MAN TO BE WITH TOO. ALL FEMINAZIS WANT IS TO TELL EVERYONE HOW TO BE AND LIVE THERE LIFE BECAUSE THEY CANNOT GET A GOOD MAN BECAUSE THERE UGLY. PERIOD. IN NASCAR A FEW YEARS AGO THERE WAS A DRIVER NAMED SHAUNA ROBINSON. SHE SUCKED AND DIDN’T MAKE IT IN NASCAR. DO YOU THINK SHE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO PUT OTHER DRIVERS AT RISK JUST BECAUSE SHE IS A WOMAN? NOW YOU SEE THE STUPIDITY OF BEING A FEMINAZI IF YOU BOTHER TO PAY ATTENTION. I AM GOING TO HAVE MY OWN WEBSITE SOON AND I AM GOING TO DEVOTE IT TO FIGHTING ALL LIBERALS AND YOU FEMINAZIS ARE THE WORST OF ALL OF THEM. I DON’T WANT TO HURT WOMEN. I JUST WANT TO LIVE WITH WOMEN AS GOD INTENDED AND NOT HAVE TO BE TOLD THAT IT IS WRONG TO BE A MAN BY A WOMAN THAT IS TOO LAZY TO SHAVE THERE ARMPITS. I DON’T THINK THAT MAKES ME A BAD PERSON BUT TELLING IAN THAT HE IS STUPID FOR TRYING TO HELP YOU DOES.
March 29, 2008 at 8:28 pm
“buttkicker” doesn’t know where his caps-lock key is…
btw. i’m a man, a feminist, and have a wonderful sex life. Maybe if you didn’t hate women so much you’d know a thing or two about them.
How much do I desire to debunk thy assumptions? Let me count the ways. :-)
March 29, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Buttkicker, doncha know that use evil feminazis are all evil lesbians conspiring to kill all men? I guess instead of 6 million Jews we will kill 6 million rapists, but that just wouldn’t be emough. Maybe 50 million for all the people killed in WWII?
I know I shouldn’t joke with him guys, given that he’ll probably take it seriously, but c’mon, he used the caps locks key. Thats just so cute!
Awwwww, poor concewn twoll got his twoes stubbed by the ebil nasty feminazis.
March 29, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Does buttkicker deliberately use there and their the wrong way round? Is it part of the parody?
March 29, 2008 at 11:51 pm
I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE MY CAPS-LOCK KEY IS YOU SPINELESS LIBERAL QUEER BUT I WANT EVERYONE TO HEAR WHAT I SAY THAT’S WHY I TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS. SO YOUR A MAN AND A FEMINAZI. NOW I’VE TRULY HEARD IT ALL. THERE IS NOTHING BUT MANBASHING GOING ON ON THIS WEBSITE AND YOU THINK IT’S SO LIBERAL TO SAY IT’S OK. WELL IT’S NOT OK AND I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOUR SEX LIFE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND MAY BE WONDERFUL TO YOU BUT ISN’T WONDERFUL AT ALL IN GOD’S EYES. I AM A LIBERTARIAN SO I SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO BE GAY BUT I AM A GOOD CHRISTIAN AND I KNOW THAT BEING GAY IS WRONG JUST LIKE HATING MEN ON THE INTERNET. AND BY THE WAY IF YOU ARE GAY YOU SHOULD NOT BE GAY IN PUBLIC BECAUSE PEOPLE DO NOT WANT TO WATCH THAT BECAUSE IT IS DISGUSTING JUST LIKE WOMEN THAT DON’T WEAR MAKEUP OR SHAVE THERE LEGS AND ARMPITS OR SHOULD I SAY ALL YOU ANGRY LESBIANS ON THIS WEBSITE EXCEPT FOR IAN WHO IS THE ONLY ONE THAT SEES THE BIG PICTURE. OH AND BY THE WAY I HAVE A VERY LARGE PENIS SO I HAVE NO PROBLEM RELATING TO WOMEN. GEE MAYBE THAT’S THE REASON YOUR A FEMINAZI BECAUSE YOUR DICK IS SO SMALL THAT YOU HAVE TO SUCK UP TO WOMEN TO GET A DATE. YOU LIBERALS REALLY ARE PATHETIC.
March 30, 2008 at 12:18 am
I’ve decided to allow all MRA-type comments as they prove my points for me.
March 30, 2008 at 12:37 am
Hehehehehehehe. Whoever is doing the parody: nice work! You’ve pretty much nailed all the elements of the “Nice Guy” combined with the “Christian-Who-Thinks-He’s-Tolerant”. It’s practically a smorgasbord of idiocy!
Ooh, please pretend to be the pornsick weasel who believes he has the God given right to orgasm to women’s degradation next. Or make your current concern troll go frothing at the mouth at women having the right to control their bodies as “killing unborn children.” Make sure to add a reference to evolution not existing.
March 30, 2008 at 1:07 am
OH YOUR SO SMART FOR KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR AND THERE. IF I WAS TALKING YOU WOULDN’T SEE THE LAST TWO LETTERS ANYWAY. I’VE BEEN WORKING AND SUPPORTING MYSELF SINCE I WAS 17 AND HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR A BIG GOVERNMENT HANDOUT BUT I GUESS THAT MAKES ME A BAD PERSON BECAUSE I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE SPELLING OF TWO STUPID WORDS. YEAH I’M A PARODY ALL RIGHT IF YOU THINK YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE IS FUNNY. OH AND THANKS TO THE PERSON WHO SAID WE SHOULD KILL 50 MILLION MEN TO MAKE UP FOR WORLD WAR II. IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW WORLD WAR II WAS NOT ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE FOR NOTHING IT WAS ABOUT DEFENDING OUR FREEDOM AND WAY OF LIFE BUT I GUESS WE SHOULD HAVE JUST THE JAPANESE AND GERMANS INVADE OUR COUNTRY. THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE POLITE THING TO DO WHICH IS WHAT YOU SPINELESS LIBERALS THINK IS THE THING WE SHOULD BE DOING ANYWAY. YOU GUYS JUST KEEP LAUGHING AT ME BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY I’LL BE LAUGHING BECAUSE CONSERVATIVE VALUES ARE WHAT THIS COUNTRY IS FOUNDED ON AND ARE WHAT MAKES THIS COUNTRY BEAUTIFUL. SO I KNOW THAT YOU ALL THINK ITS COOL TO BE A SENSITIVE DIFFERENT LIBERAL AND DRIVE A CAR FROM NATIONS THAT TRIED TO KILL US BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY AMERICA WILL ALWAYS BE STRONG. EVEN STRONG ENOUGH TO ALLOW LIBERALS LIKE ALL OF YOU HERE TO TRY AND DESTROY IT. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND EVEN ALL OF YALL. HE STILL LOVES EVEN YALL BUT DON’T THINK THERE WON’T BE A PRICE TO PAY SOMEDAY FOR SAYING YOU SHOULD KILL 50 MILLION PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU HATE MEN BECAUSE YOU ARE A UGLY STUPID FEMINAZI THAT HATES THE WORLD. GOD LOVES ALL BUT EVERYTHING HAS A PRICE. THAT IS SOMETHING YOU ALL SHOULD REMEMBER.
March 30, 2008 at 1:41 am
Inability to get a joke or mockery of any kind? Pure parody brilliance. Adding in clichés like “your worst nightmare” and “God loves y’all” is icing on the cake. You know you could do this for a living. You’re very good at playing the narrow-minded, terminally stupid bigot. You’d have the audience in gales of laughter.
I’m going to let others salute your comic brilliance, because I don’t want to be cluttering our gracious host’s about page. Thanks for the lols.
I’m off to cavort with my evil lesbian feminist friends. We sacrifice the penises of rapists, MRAs and fundies to our pagan goddess of feminazism. We also worship her with all our lesbian sex which we do in abandoned churches. In addition we give out flyers on how to have abortions and get BC to our heterosexual sisters who have yet to be converted.
Ta ta mon ami.
(edit if you want to 9-2, just reiterating how great your blog is.)
March 30, 2008 at 2:15 am
Clutter away, all y’all. I’m entertained.
March 30, 2008 at 2:50 am
I’M GLAD THAT I’M SUCH A JOKE TO YOU BECAUSE REALLY I THINK IT’S FUNNY THAT A PERSON SAYING THAT 50 MILLION PEOPLE SHOULD NOT DIE IS THE ONE WHO’S A NARROW MINDED JOKE AND JUST BECAUSE I DON’T LAUGH OR ADDRESS YOUR JOKES DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T GET THEM IT JUST MEANS I DON’T THINK THEY ARE FUNNY. YOUR SARCASM WILL NEVER SCARE ME AND YOU CAN MAKE ALL THE COMMENTS YOU WANT THAT MAKE ME LOOK STUPID BUT I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU HONEY THAT IS WHY YOU LIBERALS WILL ALWAYS LOSE BECAUSE YOU CARE MORE ABOUT LOOKING LIKE YOUR COOL AND SMART THAN YOU DO ABOUT THE COUNTRY THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO DO IT. YOU’D THINK I WAS REAL FUNNY IF YOU WERE IN CUBA AND YOU COULD BE KILLED FOR MAKING THE WRONG JOKE AND YOU CERTAINLY COULDN’T TALK ABOUT KILLING 50 MILLION PEOPLE WITHOUT BEING JAILED OR KILLED YOURSELF. AND BY THE WAY I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT I’M NOT STUPID AND I KNOW YOU DON’T DO ALL OF THE STUFF YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT AT THE END LIKE HAVING SEX IN ABANDONED CHURCHES BECAUSE I AM NOT STUPID. I KNOW WHAT SARCASM IS BUT SARCASM WILL NEVER CHANGE THE FACTS. A WOMAN HAS A RIGHT TO LIVE HER LIFE AND SHE IS PROTECTED BY THE SAME LAWS UNLIKE OTHER COUNTRIES WHERE THEY ARE NOT. OH BUT YOU FEMINAZIS DON’T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT THAT YOU JUST LIKE TO TALK ABOUT LETTING THOSE NATIONS COMMIT ACTS OF TERROR AGAINST US. INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT REAL ISSUES LIKE THE WAR ON TERROR YOU TALK ABOUT HOW YOU DO NOT WANT TO WEAR MAKEUP AND YOU DON’T WANT A MAN TO BUY YOUR DINNER FOR YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD PROBABLY GET MAD IF HE DIDN’T BECAUSE YOU FEMINAZIS ALWAYS WANT TO HAVE THINGS BOTH WAYS. THAT’S WHAT BEING A LIBERAL IS ALL ABOUT. YOU ALWAYS HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMETHING ABOUT THE GREAT COUNTRY THAT GIVES YOU THE FREEDOM YOU ABUSE. NOW WHO’S A JOKE.
March 30, 2008 at 3:51 am
This is the best blog ever, what with NineDeuce’s expert writings and opinions and with Buttkicker69 entertaining, if misspelled, comments!! (He has a very large penis, you know. All is right with the world.)
March 30, 2008 at 5:49 am
I dunno, it seems like you’re still the joke buttkicker. It amazes me how you can continue the parody so flawlessly without making yourself sick with the idiocy of it all. I mean stating “I’m not stupid” and then disproving that in the next sentence, damn you’re good.
Damn those church floors are hard; I’ll have bruises for weeks. Sacrificing a few men here and there just isn’t enough anymore for all that evil witch healing power. Any of my feminazi friends know if burning playboy works as a surrogate sacrifice? I’m running low on athame fodder at the moment.
March 30, 2008 at 11:16 am
Well it means that he can ‘relate’ to women. Which is good. Cause the words aren’t doing it.
or maybe we’re not women! Yes! The distinction of gender has finally been abolished! The aims of the feminist movement achieved! And all because of a big penis.
March 30, 2008 at 11:52 am
Also in the interests of historically accurate trolling, can I point out that c.50 million PEOPLE died in WW2- over 2/3 of that number were civilians including men, women and children.
March 31, 2008 at 4:57 pm
hey, “buttkicker” I said I was heterosexual. My wife of ten years would beg to differ with your comments. Not that it matters in the grand scheme of things. Funny to see how rabid the privileged get when their privilege is challenged. Feminists just want their fair share of prosperity us white men take for granted. I don’t see what the big problem is with them getting it.
So, how do you relate to women with your large penis? Club them with it? Puhleeze. Get an education, man up, and stop crying about the fact that you’re losing a smidgen of your privilege.
By the way, I’m totally down with killing off some rapists, but I’d rather go after the ideology behind their actions.
March 31, 2008 at 4:59 pm
also, bellyacher69… what’s the problem with man-bashing? It’s not like we’ve done a jam-up job of running the planet exactly. And don’t even get me started on the flaws of “libertarianism” and free-market fundamentalism.
March 31, 2008 at 7:23 pm
Hi, I stumbled onto this website in search of good porn and instead I found a bunch of sexually supressed man-haters (incl. the uber-wuss Syndicalist702). It’s a real crying game why women have so many problems with their beavers. If it’s not a yeast infection it’s menstration, if it’s not menstration it’s stress, etc. etc. etc. Get a real job and then tell me about your problems! I wish for one second I could watch soap operas or wash clothes, but I can’t because I gotta fucking work. I gotta fucking work so you can get your nails done and go shopping at JC Penny’s. Women are nothing but perpetual complainers. You freaks even complain about complaining. Now go back to watching Dallas or whatever-the-fuck-mindless-shit y’all watch and stop complaining for a change.
March 31, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Also, women can’t take the heat that man is subjected to on a daily basis. The only heat women experience is from a skillet.
March 31, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I’m torn. Should I let my comments sections turn into joke-a-thons?
April 1, 2008 at 12:41 am
Absolutely, so long as it remains funny. How will Buttkicker 69 learn if he isn’t given an opportunity to be a part of the debate? I think he may come around yet.
April 1, 2008 at 6:26 am
WELL THANK YOU DAVETAVIUS. I’M SO GLAD THAT YOU THINK I WILL EMBRACE LIBERAL WAYS. WELL GUESS WHAT? THAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN PIGS FLY. I ALSO WANT TO SAY THAT I AM NOT A SEXIST. I DO NOT SUPPORT THE VIEWS OF DRAKKAR NOIR. I AM FOR WOMENS RIGHTS I JUST DO NOT THINK PEOPLE SHOULD SAY THAT MEN ARE BAD OR THAT PEOPLE SHOULD DIE BECAUSE OF PAST EVENTS THAT CAN BE INTERPRETED IN DIFFERENT WAYS. TO TAKE ON A FEW THINGS MANBASHING IS ALWAYS BAD BECAUSE MEN ARE FIFTY PERCENT OF THE WORLD SO TO SAY THAT FIFTY PERCENT OF THE WORLD IS BAD BECAUSE THEY HAVE A GENETIC DIFFERENCE IS JUST WRONG. THAT MEANS YOU ARE SAYING THAT HALF OF THE WORLD IS WRONG BECAUSE OF PREJUDICE. I DO NOT THINK PREJUDICE IS RIGHT. I AM A SOUTHERNER AND I HAVE SEEN THE WORLD CHANGE FROM WHERE BLACKS WERE NOT WELCOME IN THE SOUTH TO NOW WHERE THEY ARE MAINLY GOOD MEMBERS OF SOCIETY. I DO NOT THINK WOMEN HAVE TO BE HOUSEWIVES OR IN THE KITCHEN I JUST THINK THEY SHOULD NOT TRY TO SAY MEN ARE BAD JUST BECAUSE MEN ARE IN POWER. THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE AND THAT IS SOMETHING LIBERALS WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND BECAUSE THEY ARE TOO STUCK UP TO EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND. AND TO EVERYONE THAT HAS BEEN MAKING FUN OF ME YOU ALL HAVE TO KNOW THAT I WILL NEVER BACK DOWN AND THAT A SOUTHERN MAN WILL NEVER BE AFRAID OF A LIBERAL. I DO NOT THINK THAT A PERSON SHOULD JUDGE ON SEX OR RACE UNLESS THEY WANT TO BECAUSE OF THERE OWN FREEDOM. I MIGHT THINK THAT A PERSON SHOULD NEVER BE GAY BUT AS A LIBERTARIAN I KNOW THAT FREEDOM IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. I THINK THAT GAYS ARE GROSS BUT I KNOW THAT FREEDOM IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OPINION AND THAT IS WHY I SAY THAT A WOMAN CAN DO ANYTHING AND A GAY MAN CAN DO ANYTHING BUT TO SAY THAT ALL MEN TRY TO HURT WOMEN IS A LIE AND TO SAY THAT A WOMAN CANNOT LOVE A MAN IS A LIE. I HOPE THAT EVERYONE CAN LEARN FROM ALL THIS AND LEARN NOT TO HATE BECAUSE HATE IS WHAT TRULY BLINDS US. I JUST WISH YOU LIBERALS COULD SEE THIS BUT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS AN EYE FOR AN EYE. I’LL LOVE YALL WHEN YALL LOVE ME. THATS PROBABLY SOMETHING YALL COULD THINK ABOUT FOR AWHILE.
April 1, 2008 at 1:27 pm
drakkar – You call me a wuss, but you name yourself after a cologne? Wow. Civilization has hit a new low. I won’t even entertain your assumption about me, because you don’t know me from Adam. You have assumed just because I don’t buy your it’s-a-man’s-world-women-are-men’s-fuckpuppets mentality that somehow I’m less of a man, or that I’m *chuckle* gay. Talk to me when you’ve done something, okay? Wait, nevermind. That would require thinking on your part, and that’d be too much effort for a guy like yourself. The day you and your ilk can prove that I’m less of a man is the day you’ll actually have a leg to stand on as far as arguments go. But, then – just maybe – I’ll just kick that one out from under you, too. Whatcha think about that? I defend a woman’s right to be considered more that a fuck toy, more than the person who wipes your lazy ass for you, and more than the porn slaves you were searching for. I’m willing to do it with my fists if necessary. Manhood, to me, is about justice, fairness, self-control, and balance – four things traditional manhood gives little more than lip service to. Traditional manhood isn’t manhood at all. It’s the adult form of boyhood. If you can’t hang with the big dogs, stay your little ass on the porch.
buttwhiner – listen, pal, it’s not about bashing men, okay. It’s about challenging the patriarchy (look that up, if you can put down your beer and pretzels long enough) and about the somehow radical notion that *gasp* women are human and equal to men. I don’t hate you, or anyone. I just hate the way some people think. This every-one-for-themselves mentality should have died with early humans. If you’re offended by fifty percent of our species wanting fair treatment from the other fifty, you’re thinking is the problem, not mine. And what’s all this talk about homosexuality. If I’m not mistaken, you’re the only one that brought that up. I smell a straw man. I also smell insecurity. Who’s emasculated now? Tactics like that are no way to conduct discourse. Tactics like that won’t get you out of a wet paper bag if you have a pair of scissors and a box cutter. Turn down the caps and turn up your hearing aid, even if you don’t like what you hear.
April 1, 2008 at 1:29 pm
drakkar – Sexually suppressed, hunh? I’m not the one who needs porn to get off.
But I digress.
April 1, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Don’t even get me started about how Eve ruined eternal paradise for ALL mankind. I’m sure reading the Bible and not shaving your legs don’t mesh well. I’m not sexist. I just think if women want an even playing field (which is ok) then accept the harsh conditions that are associated. What about child support? Gross majority of court cases enable the mother full custody without warrant simply because of sex. Income differentials: most state laws empower the mother, regardless of self-made income, rights to a grossly disproportionate share (dare I say) of the husband’s wealth. I guess we’ll have to change all of that too, huh?
April 1, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I would like to know what you all think about the statement: “Men are generally more intelligent than women.” In my opinion, in general, women are far superior to men emotionally and even communicatively. That said, men are generally better problem solvers/logical thinkers. No shit that these generalizations are cliche as fuck, but it does make me wonder if these are indeed true, what’s more important…logic or emotion?
April 2, 2008 at 7:30 pm
syndicalist702 – I never called you gay because you’re not, yet. This new low for civilization that you write about isn’t new. It started during the 1960’s and it’s known as “male hyper-sensitive behavior syndrome”. M.H.S.B. was started by hippies and circus sideshow freaks for comedic entertainment. Fast forward thirty years to the 1990’s and you see the emergence of metro-sexuality, males with lactating glands, and mainstream adoration for R.E.M. You were probably mentally soft and extremely impressionable during these times, which is why you weeped yourself to sleep to the voice of Michael Stipe singing about losing his religion and replacing it with guy-liner or Billy Corgan wimpering about being rats that are inside of cages. So now your a man in his thirties vehemently campaigning for women’s rights as a pathetic attempt to lose your virginity to some confused 18-year old bisexual teen with a penchant for rainy days and 30-year old men that still carry mace on their keychains. That’s what I call a new low for civilization my friend. You’re better off being gay.
Justice, fairness, self-control, and balance? Are you fucking kidding me? That seriously sounds like a Channel 5 Eyewitness News intro. If you’re going to pick virtues out of a Danielle Steele novel, at least pick the ones that involve something more interesting. You seemed to forget being a man meant having a penis, too. I’d say that was more critical to being a man than…fairness. I’m really sorry if I hurt your feelings; I guess the world really is a vampire.
April 2, 2008 at 11:55 pm
sorry, nine-deuce, I get a little militant here.
drakkar… you have no idea who I am. Not even the foggiest smidgen of a clue. *shrug* I proudly don’t even fit into a mold you hate. REM played out by the time they made MTV. Oh, and a father of two, trying to lose his virginity? Wow. News to me.
I have adequate enough manhood that I don’t have to use my strength to hurt other people, unless it’s in my defense. I don’t need pepper spray. That’s what the Marine Corps training and Nevada’s concealed carry laws do for me.
As for you, non-friend, what is more pathetic: (a) a strong father of two who uses his strength and talents to help others or (b) a whiny loser shithead who needs porn to get off and just can’t resist hating on other people instead of dealing with his own insecurity. That’s allright, though. I ain’t mad at ya. Think what you want to. Just don’t waste your time trying to convince me. Especially seeing as you haven’t the maturity of a twelve year old or the sense god gave a billy goat. With the justice, fairness, self-control, and balance, no. I’m not kidding. These are basic principles of true strength. Something a weakling like you wouldn’t understand. The only threat to what you call “civilization” is your inability to hold on to your tyranny. I’ll have pity on you, soon as the boot tracks clear off of your forehead. Better yet, I won’t do anything to you. I look and act just like any other guy, save the anti-misogynist comments I make to my coworkers. They’re starting to listen, which makes me an infiltrator.
Before you bullshit yourself, son, at least know your enemy.
April 3, 2008 at 12:55 am
You guys sure are dudes.
April 3, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Yeah, I know. :-)
April 23, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Not the same Iain as left the first comment… nothing wrong with a good bit of well placed anger.
Excellent blog.
The caps lock commenter has to be on a wind-up.
Love to know your views on Martin Luther King.
April 24, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Oh no! Not getting paid to have sex! What devious mind could think of a more sadistic torture than offering money to stick a phallus in a vagina and film it so people can masturbate to the sexual imagery and feel good!?
Only in our ridiculous puritanical society can sex be considered degrading. It’s ironic that you base a part of your feminism on an ancient idea of sex as dirty and evil to insinuate that paying women to be involved in it is some how subjugating them. And then you say the idea of sexual liberation is some kind of male trick to see more skin or something? Ridiculous. Seeing threats and veiled plots against you everywhere is a classic sign of paranoia. You and Joseph Stalin would probably get along. You and he could come up with some kind of crazy hybrid plot where capitalist males are trying to repress the proletariat so that women can’t afford things and have to be involved in prostitution or something.
April 24, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Jack, when men are reduced to their “fuckability” in our society, you can start telling women what they should and shouldn’t see as misogynistic. My premise here, and I know it’s radical, is that women are just as human as men are, and are thus entitled to expect to be treated with dignity.
I never said sex is dirty or evil. If you had read my post, you would see that I make every argument that sex is an integral and healthy part of life, but that it has been warped and damaged by the reduction of human interaction to female subjugation and male domination. Sex isn’t degrading, but one-sided sex that centers around men’s pleasure and ignores women’s humanity is. If porn were just people having sex, I’d have a much weaker objection to it, but it isn’t. It’s women’s bodies being used by men, it’s women being treated poorly, it’s women’s humanity being ignored. Read my 4th post on porn if you want my opinion on that.
Pro-porn types always want to paint feminists who are against female exploitation as part of the puritanical set within the religious right. There IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WANTING TO BE TREATED LIKE A HUMAN BEING RATHER THAN A FUCKTOY AND BEING ANTI-SEX. Write that shit down. I’m fucking TIRED of repeating it.
May 3, 2008 at 2:39 am
[...] Nine Deuce’s explanation of feminist anger gets me all, you know, angry. Of course it quickly spirals downhill with a perfect example of Anti-Feminist Bingo trollatry, then back on track with a short continued discussion of feminist anger, and then “BUTTKICKER 69″ sets shit straight in all caps. He relates to women very well because he has a large penis. [...]
May 7, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Omg, this is fantastic. The buttkicker comments are amazing, I actually laughed out loud! When you think you’ve heard it all… and thanks to Hellon hairylegs- I loved your description on the place of anger. Great, great thread :) Oh, and I’m off to get laid to ease some of my feminazi anger, great suggestion.
June 14, 2008 at 7:21 am
Now that I’ve taken the time to read through your about, I’ll have to agree that you are, well, pretty angsty. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The fact that you have strong feelings for the subject is good; it means you’ll have the necessaries to be able to motivate yourself to do more about it than most people who spend 5 minutes considering their role in a society of gender discrimination and then shrug and say “well that’s the way things have always been I guess some things just never chance.” The complacency and noncommittal admition of apathy to the whole situation on grounds that it’s too difficult to change is what really pisses me off.
June 16, 2008 at 1:32 pm
This blog is frikkin awesome. Angry women rule. I especially like the fact that you’re using the space to invite people to change their minds, rather than explicitly preaching to the converted. There’s lots of awesome blogs for the angry feminists. This one pretty much explains why so many feminists are angry, in accessible and sharp language. You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.
June 18, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Hey Ms. Deuce– I am writing an anti-pornography essay for my summer Comp II class and am using your porn series as a reference. (Yes, I have a totally kick-ass feminsit professor who is cool with me using blogs as a source!) I’m basically telling you this because I was wondering how you preferred to be referred to. Should I just call you “the blogger known as Nine Deuce” or would you like a real name (or other alias) for my works cited, etc? Feel free to email me, and if the essay doesn’t end up totally sucking, I’ll be posting it on my blog. ;)
June 18, 2008 at 4:29 pm
zombie z – Either way is fine with me. If you’d rather I give you my real name, let me know your e-mail address. Good luck on the paper! I’d really be interested in reading it.
June 19, 2008 at 2:28 am
http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3168258
:P I figured you’d appreciate this.
A rather honest depiction of my generation, sadly.
June 19, 2008 at 2:29 am
Aoife
“You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.”
Is that a euphemism for “reaffirm my own beliefs”?
:P
June 24, 2008 at 7:14 pm
This is satire, right? I mean, what else permits the phrases “most retarded of readers” and “I’m an ethical person who cares about people’s feelings” to coexist? The possibility that either is a joke, as you allude to in your PS, doesn’t resolve the paradox; unless it’s your claim to ethics and caring that contains the humor.
June 25, 2008 at 9:51 pm
There is no paradox. I can frequently be found making fun of myself, of other people (by assuming their writing style or by pretending to be insanely arrogant), and of some of my less thoughtful readers. It seems that plenty of people are unable to pick it up at times, but that’s not my problem.
June 26, 2008 at 12:45 pm
Eye: nah, it’s me saying that Nine Deuce’s articulate writing and well-thought out arguments have helped me to frame my own emotions and opinions around particular aspects of gender, feminism and oppression against a backdrop that I can relate to, and wasn’t previously aware of.
Hey, Eye:
““You’ve already helped me to clarify some arguments in my own head so thanks.”
Is that a euphemism for “reaffirm my own beliefs”? :P”
Is that a euphemism for ‘I’m a smartarse’? : P
June 29, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I like this blog, and I’ll tell you why.
It’s not just because it proposes the most sensible and well researched ideas dealing with feminism I’ve ever come across, or because I tend to agree with a large majority of it. Or even because the focus on media is, I think, the best way for people to actually be able to see practical misogyny.
I like it because of the brilliantly ironic, self aware arrogance. It’s genuine, full frontal confidence, presented with a smirk. And it perfectly shoots down any opposing argument that isn’t meticulously researched and well presented, or laced with a tone of condescension. It’s rare to find in the world of weblogs.
As a note, after I re-read this post, I realised (oops, gave away that I’m not American) that it’s completely devoid of humour. Which is a shame, as the rest of the page is hilarious and I had to go all serious. Carry on.
July 6, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Hey, Nine Deuce. I thought I’d let you and your readers (who aren’t assholes or BUTTKICKER 69!!!1) know about a new radfem discussion/consciousness-raising forum I created this weekend. You can read more about it at my blog or just go over and join here. It’s in the style of the IBTP forum, but I believe it will work out quite differently than that forum. So, I hope you join!
Thanks,
Laceyfish
July 12, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I seriously love, love, LOVE this page. I agree with probably 80 to 90 percent of what’s stated here, if not more.
I wanted to comment on the modesty thing, though: it depends on the reasons stated for encouraging modesty. I am not sure I would veil myself at this point; it’s just too damn inconvenient. But it’s also possible to see clothing as a privacy issue. I mean, if I don’t want some random strange guy grabbin’ mah girls, why would I want to show them to him either, even just the tops of them or what they’re shaped like? It’s not as much of a concern for me as it used to be because I don’t live up to patriarchal standards on boob beauty these days. (Which is interesting in light of the fact that many cultures/religions calling for feminine modesty don’t require it as stringently in older women, who tend to also be post-childbearing.) But I don’t understand women who get all bent out of shape when some guy hollers at them but *at the same time* want to walk around practically naked–if he’s a creep, why do you want him *looking* at you? It’s their right if it’s what they want, it just doesn’t make any sense to me.
As for socio-political movements, you ought to check out the human rewilding movement. I haven’t gotten totally immersed in it yet, but so far I have been encouraged at the way even the male bloggers talk about women’s issues as though they are just an everyday part of life. I don’t mean, “hey, jump into this movement, it’s TOTALLY THERE MAN!!”, but seriously, have a look at what they have to say. It’s pretty amazing. Jared Diamond isn’t a blogger but has inspired rewilders through his essays and books, and he talks about how the evidence points to forager cultures being gender-egalitarian and how the advent of agriculture led to women being treated like beasts of burden. I want to read Daniel Quinn’s stuff too. If you just want to see blogs, the Anthropik Network (anthropik.com, I think?) and Urban Scout (urbanscout.org) are decent places to start.
July 12, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Dana, the problem is that men act like they’re entitled to critique women’s bodies no matter what women wear or don’t wear. Women who “walk around practically naked” have nothing more or less to fear from the male gaze than women who wear veils. Keep the blame where it belongs, on patriarchy and men, not on women.
July 13, 2008 at 8:08 am
Ginmar on A View From A Broad has sometimes said that men are not natural disasters and that women should not have to live as though preparing for said disasters. In the meta-sense she is absolutely right. On a day to day level when you actually have to live with this shit–and she has, and so have I, and I bet you have too–nobody likes to stand out in an empty, treeless field and be hit by lightning. None of us control the lightning. None of us make it hit us. The worst part is we have to be out in that field if we want to have any kind of public life at all–and worse yet, the fucking lightning is intelligent and knows exactly what it’s doing.
So, what to do? Make friends with the folks at the local burn unit and hope you are alive to say Hi to them next time you drop by? Carry a lightning rod out into the field with you? Wear rubber armor? What?
It is one thing to spout theory about this, to say “it’s all men’s fault”–it IS all men’s fault, and the male gaze IS the problem. Quite another to leave it at the spouting of the theory and to ignore the fact that we cannot change men’s hearts and minds for them, and that meanwhile men are still hurting women and we need clear answers for coping with that fact.
For some women coping takes the form of covering up. Not me necessarily, I wear large t-shirts and baggy jeans and sometimes a hat, and I think it’s too damn hot to veil. And there are lots of different ways to be modest, even so–it varies from religion to religion and culture to culture, and even members of the same faith or culture may have different interpretations.
But this is how they cope. And I’m beyond tired of seeing feminists give them crap about it. Especially when no viable alternative ever seems to be offered. It’s never, “You’re oppressed if you have to veil. Here, do this instead and you’ll still feel like your privacy is protected.” I’ve been reading feminist blogs for years now and I haven’t seen anything yet other than “We have to change their culture so they don’t have to do this anymore,” which carries its own set of cultural imperialist baggage, and again, you can’t change anyone’s heart or mind. They have to do it themselves. That’s true everywhere–even when men are pushy and are bullies and try to bend women and minorities to their will, the truth is that they only get us to act differently, not necessarily to think differently. Which is why we have feminist and other liberation movements at all. It works the other way too–you could get guys to act just the way you want them to. But number one, that smacks of women having to take responsibility for men. Number two, they will resent being controlled even if we were to miraculously manage it, and their little acts of subversion would be harmful to us.
So… *throws hands up* I don’t know. I *do* see feminists, especially radfems, often say after some nasty piece of news or another that they no longer want to associate with men. What’s the difference between that and not letting men see all of what you look like, I wonder? It’s still reacting to them. On the other hand, what else can we do? This is an honest question. If none of us can’t answer it–and I sure as hell can’t–then maybe we should give women room to figure out their own coping mechanisms, because when we get on some women’s cases about veiling or wearing long dresses, we’re doing the same damn thing the construction worker does when he whistles at us as we walk by.
July 20, 2008 at 1:18 am
Hey Nine Deuce
Can I add you to my blogroll? Thanks!
July 20, 2008 at 1:42 am
Of course. I already put you on mine.
July 20, 2008 at 6:06 pm
9-2,
My blogroll, you are on it. Thx for commenting on my blog.
Still waiting for my very own troll to mock- you have such fun ones on here!
July 28, 2008 at 1:46 am
Nice new header you got, Nine! :)
July 28, 2008 at 1:49 am
Thanks! It has a secret significance, which I’ll be revealing on Thursday.
July 29, 2008 at 3:20 am
hey is that you in the banner? You’re pretty hot for a feminist.
July 29, 2008 at 3:56 am
So funny I forgot to laugh.
July 29, 2008 at 7:28 am
Wasn’t trying to be funny. You’ve got very feminine and beautiful hands, arms, legs. Can we see the rest of you?
July 29, 2008 at 7:48 am
First off, that isn’t me. It’s a very sophisticated joke. Second, are you fucking serious? You’re going to come to a radical feminist’s blog and say some shit like that?
July 29, 2008 at 8:35 am
sorry I just stumbled on your blog. I didn’t read it but I will read it now. I just thought if you were posing with the caption “sexiest women…”, you would be happy to receive compliments. But I guess that’s not you.
July 29, 2008 at 3:31 pm
It says “sexist women.”
July 29, 2008 at 4:10 pm
Hahaha, I can’t believe that conversation actually happened. mosdef can’t be for real. Wow.
July 29, 2008 at 4:14 pm
I was worried that a lot of people wouldn’t pick up on the joke in the picture. I mean, it’s like the most apt spelling mistake of all time. Oh well. I have a new banner photo on its way.
July 29, 2008 at 9:34 pm
“It says “sexist women.””
….
Oops.
I misread it as well. XP I thought you were going to make some ironic post about it or something. This is what I get for skim reading.
August 1, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Hey 9-2, do you mind if I stick your blog in my blogroll? It’s a fembloggg….
August 1, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Aoife – Go for it. Let me know the URL so I can come check you out.
August 7, 2008 at 1:39 am
Ah awesome, thanks. It’s http://superwombman.blogspot.com
It’s little crude, tame, lame, whatevs. But she’s mine, and I love her. *sniff*
August 28, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Your arguments are pretty solid, and I can appreciate what you’re saying although I don’t necessarily agree with all of them. Can you leave the hormonal contraceptives alone, though? Of course they don’t work for everyone, and there are a few health risks, but a fair number of women have less-than-optimally-functional-uteruses (uteri?). Without the OC I’m stuck bleeding once a month, which also entails being in intense pain and unable to move for two weeks. With it, I haven’t had to go through that for about three years.
September 1, 2008 at 2:31 am
Wow. I stumbled across this site, and I’m so impressed, Nine Deuce. When I hear words like “cougar” and “whore” I get furious, but usually end up saying something equivalent to: “it’s not fair!”
You are certainly very eloquent and well read. I hope you won’t mind if I poach your language/logic to explain to my friends why words like this hurt us all.
I’m 29 and was jokingly (hahaha) called a cougar by my 35 year old boyfriend’s friend. This made my head want to explode. Thanks for helping me be able to tell someone why.
September 1, 2008 at 2:34 am
Oh, oh, and did buttkicker really say that ‘blacks have become mainly good members of society’? Wow. His comments really amuse/scare me. Amuse me, because it’s so cute when dumb people try to think. Scare me, because he probably has so many contemporaries.
September 1, 2008 at 2:52 am
BUTTKICKER is certainly amusing. Feel free to poach anything you like. I’m sure I’ve poached plenty.
September 12, 2008 at 2:51 am
I’m not saying hormonal birth control ought to be outlawed, just that I’m tired of birth control being women’s responsibility and that I’m tired of the expectation that women ought to take on health risks when there may be options for male birth control with less disruptive and dangerous side effects.
September 21, 2008 at 7:42 pm
By the way Nine Deuce, thank you so much for the link. I realize my first comment here sounded a bit trollish/condescending. :/.
September 21, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Urg, I meant other comment, not first comment.
November 10, 2008 at 8:58 pm
My favourite of all the Buttlicker saga so far is the declaration of “I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE MY CAPS-LOCK KEY IS YOU SPINELESS LIBERAL QUEER BUT I WANT EVERYONE TO HEAR WHAT I SAY THAT’S WHY I TYPE IN ALL CAPITALS.”
Let’s just say that I laughed my ass off… leaving it readily available for a good licking, perhaps?
Nine Deuce, it’s been said before, but I’d like the privilege of saying it again: You truly are a good writer, entertain, engaging and informative. I’m glad you’re here and taking the time to write, and you’re clearly saying the right things if you’re pissing off the MRAs! It reminds me of something Alfred Guinon said. “When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.” This may just be the opinion of one teen feminist, but you’re dead on.
November 10, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Oh I’m sorry! I meant Albert Guinon, the French playwright.
December 3, 2008 at 11:28 am
Just dropping a note to let you know I’m linking you (from http://nightgigjo.wordpress.com).
One of these days I’m going to have the fortitude to publish MRA posts that make points for me. Right now they live in the moderation queue.
January 14, 2009 at 1:37 am
I almost fell out of my chair laughing hysterically at the all caps guy and the cologne guy. I’d like to see either of them in my shoes for a single day and see how well 1) they do at solving all the complex problems I deal with on a daily basis, and 2) dealing with my particular brand of “heat”. Good luck. I’ll be watching Dallas and getting my nails done in the call room.
@all caps: BTW, Im a doc in training, so if you are ever in need of some gut surgery you should thank your lucky stars that even though I’m black I’m “mainly” a good member of society. You never know though…
January 30, 2009 at 6:27 am
Hm… I don’t agree with everything but I like your style!
There should be more porn aimed at women. Like, if there was a porn staring a guy that looked like Cillian Murphy, I’d be happy as a clam.
February 10, 2009 at 4:27 pm
“Porn isn’t cool. It’s a symptom of the fact that we live in a patriarchy,”
Including gay porn?
February 25, 2009 at 4:10 am
It’s really good that you’ve decided to fight the power by using a blog theme that was created by a man. You go sister!
February 25, 2009 at 4:21 am
You’re a dork.
March 5, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I’d like to state at the outset that I’m not consciously in this to insult, patronise or otherwise demean anyone. If my male socialised unconcious undermines my efforts at ‘coming in peace’ then I can only apologise for being all too human.
Right, so this feminism gig – I have a problem with it. My itch is this: feminism is supposed to be about attaining equality, but I don’t get what exactly this equality is supposed to consist in.
Is it an aspiration to numerical equality of representation in board rooms, houses of parliament etc? Well all the numbers seem to be showing that the number of women in business, law etc is increasing all the time. Women, generally, have the same opportunities to do well professionally as guys and, as far as I can see, they’re taking those opportunities. How is it reasonable to ask for anything more?
Is it an aspiration to equality of portrayal in the media culture generally? I don’t know what an ‘equal’ portrayal would look like or if such a notion even makes sense. But perhaps what is meant is ‘a portrayal of women not for men’. I’d suggest that the current portrayal is not just for men. As has been said, women consume their media image as much as men which means that it’s an image that attracts them. You can be pissed at this state of affairs and wish society had a different image of women, but that isn’t a fight for equality, that’s plain old politics – trying to make other people think what you think. That’s fine, and maybe even ‘right’ or ‘good’, but it’s not ‘a fight for equality’.
Is it an aspiration to equality of treatment? I think it’s fair to say that many men are pretty nasty to women. It’s also fair to say that many women are nasty to men. And to women for that matter. Human beings are often unpleasant to one another. I’d guess that, on ballance, men are more nasty to women than women are to men (possibly because they’re inherrently, phisiologically nastier, possibly because they have more opportunities, probably both). But you don’t have to be a feminist to have a problem with this particular form of human nastiness. I’d say it’s a part of my male identity to have a problem with violence against women just as it’s a part of the feminist identity to have that problem. Gender equality doesn’t seem to make much sense in this context either. Gender equality in violence how? Men and women should be equally violent to each other?
I can’t say I’ve given much thought to the above, but I’d be interested in feedback.
T
March 5, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I’m not about equality (I don’t particularly want to be equal to men – doesn’t that presume I aspire to cultural maleness? How arrogant.), I’m about liberation. My main focus isn’t on representation, it’s on persuading people that women are human, and that our chief worth and identity ought not be defined by how many men want to pork us. Read around and you’ll see what I’m talking about. I suggest my greatest hits according to me, which you’ll find on the right. I’m not going to write a manifesto for you, but I’ve basically got one already written, so read it.
March 7, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Ok, cool, I’m not too keen on equality either. I don’t really know what equality would mean you’d aspire to – that’s my point.
As to worth defined as a function of men wanting to pork you, I can see where you’re coming from, but I’m not so sure where you’re going. Men will always want to pork women (and vice versa). It’s what human beings do and it’s pretty important to us as a species. You probably don’t have beef with this, so I guess your problem is with the extent to which sex defines our society and culture, right?
I’ll hazard an explaination – sex is easy. We can all do it and it’s important to the majority of us, certainly to the vast majority of men, but I’d guess to the majority of women too (I could be wrong). Nothing else is so easily accessible to so many of us. Nothing else pushes so many buttons simultaneously, as such I’d say that sex, as a defining feauture of our society, is here to stay. That means that most people will try to make themselves attractive to the opposite sex where they can most of the time. It’s important to most people to be sexy.
Sex can be pretty crass, superficial and, yes, destructive and guys are probably more prone to these negative sides of sex than girls. But the way to fight these negative sides of sex has got to have more to do with promoting and demonstrating the superiority of the positive sides of sex than with pouring vitriol on the negative sides right?
Now I’ve been controvertial, and I don’t want you to think that I think that I can’t appreciate that there’s a lot in the negative side of sex to get vitriolic about, what I’m saying is that you’re not going to kill a form of sexuality by raging at it – better (and more effective) to show that it’s an inferior, pitiful form of sexulaity through advancing the positive sides of sex, no?
March 7, 2009 at 4:35 pm
You’re missing something: women’s worth as human beings is determined by our sexual attractiveness in this society. That is, our usefulness to men. That’s the problem, not sex in and of itself.
March 8, 2009 at 8:04 am
i cant say i have fully understood you, Nine Deuce, but i am reading and learning every day. you write very well, way better than i could ever hope to.
i just want to tell you that your writing makes me look up to you in awe and admiration. It would give me a sense of worth if i could assist you ever, in any capacity, someday.
i am a male, from kolkata, india. and a writer of the lowliest kind – advertising copywriter.
March 8, 2009 at 5:56 pm
I wonder if Janet Reno would agree with that.
March 8, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Come on, Tess. You know that our culture tells women over and over that their #1 source of worth lies in their physical appearance. Janet Reno knows it, too. Or I suppose you’ve never heard any jokes about her appearance?
March 8, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Thanks! I’ve been to Kolkata. It’s a very interesting city. And writing copy can be a good thing, can’t it? It’s good practice for adjectives and whatnot, and it’s also kind of funny sometimes. I often laugh when I read shampoo bottles and think I should write copy for a living to amuse myself.
March 8, 2009 at 7:30 pm
ha, i say it’s bad because it makes me sell things that i dont believe should even be sold. like preservatives, mobile phones and other carcinogens. but that’s not what your blog is about, so i stop right there.
your writing has a greater purpose. makes my existence seem meaningless in comparison.
very good to learn you’v travelled this way. hope to get to meet you the second time you’re around!
March 8, 2009 at 11:04 pm
How about my last reply? Where’s that disappeared to?
March 8, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Fuck off, Tom. I’m not discussing sexual politics with someone who is so invested in male privilege that he can’t see that the objectification and commodification of women is a result of misogyny. If you care to know what I think (which I doubt), see my category “Be Fuckable or Die.” It’s on the right.
March 30, 2009 at 4:36 am
ok, i don’t want to come across as a kiss-ass. but i don’t know if i can help myself.
i just read your anti-bdsm series. it rocked. you are one of my fucking heroes now and here is why.
i am a huge critic of bdsm, and until very recently i have felt very alone and alienated about this. (i still kinda do, because in ‘real life’ i have only one person in my circle of friends who agrees with me. the others who feel similarly i’ve found on the internet, people like you.)
i’m a women’s studies major in my final year of undergrad. everytime the issue of bdsm comes up in class, i raise my hand and speak my mind. and everytime, several of my ‘feminist’ peers raise their hands and disagree with me. some get offended. some call me a sex-negative puritan. some call me a bigot, no better than a homophobe. and they all go on and on about how subversive bdsm is.
not once has someone put their hand up to say she agrees with me. twice people have put their hand up and said “i agree with harmony, but…” and then proceeded to say the ways in which they disagree, which makes me wonder what the hell it is they agree with me about.
last year this drove me to a very low emotional state. one of my larger classes (over a hundred) had an email listserv. i spent weeks immersed in the same kinds of arguments you see going on in your comments sections. only the argument wasn’t evenly matched in terms of who was on what side. it was literally me versus everyone else with anything to say. (i did get my fellow anti-bdsm friend, who wasn’t in the class, to join the listserv and add his arguments to the mix… not so much cuz i needed help destroying these fools’ arguments, but because i felt so fucking alone.)
anyways, this took up hours and hours and hours and hours…. of my time. and it dragged on for weeks. it really got to me emotionally.
i have other war stories, but won’t get into them now.
and this is why i love you: i see you doing the same thing that i did, and going through the same thing… the hours at the computer arguing for a worthy cause. it’s great to see someone else with this much passion for justice in regards to this issue. and i can also sympathize with how it might be impacting you emotionally.
and it’s not just you i love for this… i notice many of your readers are deeply engaged in the comment war that’s going on. and i love them all, too, and sympathize with them. (i’m referring to the anti-bdsm ones!)
i know i’ve posted this link several times, but i want to post it again for those readers who have not seen it. it’s to a facebook group called “sex-positive leftists critical of bdsm”. here is the link:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=64053174528
anyone who joins this group, feel free to add me as a facebook friend! i’m trying to build social connections (even if they’re just internet ones) with others who feel similarly to me on the bdsm issue, because it’s damn depressing to be in classes full of self-defined feminists who think bdsm is great. and if you live in toronto, let’s hang out sometime and keep each other sane!
warning about the group: it needs to be updated, and i will hopefully get to that sooner rather than later. there are changes i have in mind to make, points i want to add, others i want to expand on, and several quantitative research studies that i have recently found (yay!) to support a couple of claims i made (one, that a history of childhood sexual abuse is correlated at a statistically significant level with bdsm type fantasies; and two, that patriarchal gender roles tend to be reproduced in bdsm, in that males are much more likely than females to be “doms” and females are much more likely than males to be “subs”).
i’d like to ask again, will you post this as a link in your blog? maybe even highlight it in a blog entry of its own? (don’t gotta say much, just post the name and the link.) i know i’ve asked you elsewhere in other comments, and i’m sorry for the repetition, but in previous comments i didn’t check the little box that says “notify me of follow-up comments via email” so i won’t know what you say in response (unless i go back and check my previous comment posts, and i don’t remember where those all are). but i just now noticed the little check box, and have checked it off, so if you reply here i will get an email notification about it. also, i hope i don’t seem like i’m just interested in self-promotion. i really just want to get the message out.
once again, you freakin’ rock. i really admire your willingness to dedicate so much time and energy to maintain this blog and to tackle the issue of bdsm and other important issues. and if ever you’re feeling low about seemingly endless arguments with idiots, know that i’ve been there, too. and that it’s ok to take a break.
the same goes for other readers of this blog who have been engaged in these comment wars about bdsm (or whatever else)! much love and admiration to all of you too, and i feel for you all.
March 30, 2009 at 4:50 am
Thanks! I added you to my blogroll. I’ll post another link when I continue the series.
March 30, 2009 at 7:47 am
Oh BUTTKICKER, you are soooo funny and cute. Get some more sleep, take more vitamins, call your Mom coz you seem to be waaay too stressed, poor petal.
Big kisses poor little thing. Hope you get better soon.
March 30, 2009 at 8:06 am
So glad I have a stumble button, your about me is fantastic, so fantastic that I had to start reading on to what other people had to say, and then it got -really- interesting. I didn’t want to stop reading, but the stupidity of others was giving me a headache.
All in all, I think this is great, and as hard as it is to change the minds of all, you’re still contributing.
I’m in the photography industry, and the down-ward spiral of appearance in magazines, billboards, and media in general is really disappointing. http://video.nytimes.com/video/playlist/opinion/op-ed/1194833176718/index.html#1194838469575
You might find this interesting, if you’ve not already viewed.
Thanks for your intelligence!
March 30, 2009 at 9:20 am
i came across your site on stumbleupon,
love a lot. i’ll be back for more
March 30, 2009 at 8:27 pm
I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time! Thanks Nine Deuce! I have had the opportunity to read a few of you blogs and am thirsting for more! I appreciate your sarcasm, quick-witted intelligence, and most of all your guts! Keep doin’ what you’re doin’!
New fan,
Miss
April 1, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I love you….
April 9, 2009 at 2:35 am
[...] from you, whether it be rooting for or against her. Just check out some of the comments on her about page. Excellent. And you know what else? This is the only person who hates sports in the same way [...]
April 14, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Dear Maude, what have you started?
Someone else trying to explain away anything bad that has been pointed out about BDSM:
The Psychology of Kink
warning, site is NSFW at all-and don’t read her other entries, they read like she’s writing for her next client.
It does tickle me that so many people have gotten so worked-up over your stuff. Seems to me you hit a huge nerve =D
April 20, 2009 at 2:48 am
Hey 9-2, I hate to admit that I was one of those “liberal dudes” that you talk about on your blog who like to convince everyone they’re thinking progressively for their own selfish desires (and ultimate self-righteousness). Just by being a student of sociology at a state university taking classes about the oppression of minorities, be them of gender, class, ethno/race,etc. was important enough. I unfortunately never had once applied real in-depth crtical thought to my own thought processes and impact on those around me.
Upon finding your blog through one of your posts against the oppressing “ethical” nature of American Apparel I’ve come to re-evaluate, through critical self-reflection, my role in society, specifically the patriarchy that I am a part of, in addition to the society in which I live, in many ways and am looking forward to this new sense of consciousness.
I’ve gone through most of your posts for the past three days and I seem to agree with most (if not all) of the points you make. Your ideas alone on the core differences between conservatives and liberals alone (the banning vs. critical thinking/ juts because you can doesn’t mean you should/bottom up reasoning) had me putting my own views and reasons through a magnifying glass.
I admire your writing style because doesn’t hold back any honesty and does so in quite a witty fashion. Have you considered stand up comedy?
In any event, thank you for everything you have done so far through this blog and continue to do. I look forward to being continually challenged by the ideas you put forth and finally feel able to challenge the world in a meaningful way.
You’ve made a fan and an ally.
-Mike
April 20, 2009 at 5:55 am
Also, its funky but I mean talking from experience, unfortunately, I assume a lot of the misled MRA’s who are on here are either too afraid to shine the light on themselves and their own actions, thus thinking critically and taking responsibility, or jump in right away, usually in an uninformed and illogically sense that ends up being quite hateful I might add, out of some weird misplaced sense of the guilt of being a man. I hate to think that these MRA’s are selfish and really do consider themselves to be a superior type of human, but that’s another option serious to consider (even though I’d like to think humans are inherently good and only learn to cause suffering)
It’s too easy to get bummed on myself for doing what I did (and continue to undue my social programming for the actions and processes I still have to fight). I’d reckon it comes close to being something like white guilt/straight guilt/blah blah blah privileged guilt, in the sense that the guilt helps nobody.
All of the privileged reactionary (oh my god a woman speaks out against us?! she obviously needs to be put back in her place because shes wrong about ME!!!) horse shit needs to be focused on positive, constructive action, and in the least self-reflective thought. I don’t think a lot of the MRA’s have ever considered that their expressed thoughts and actions not only represent what they feel about a certain issue, but also what kind of value system they hold and what sorts of specific events led to their holding of said value system. I mean a lot of these dudes try to end up sounding progressive but just end up turning out to be small minded-bigots.
So DUDES AND BRO’S out there that haven’t made this cause a PERSONAL one yet for the betterment of the HUMANS AS A WHOLE (Buttkicker69 I’m looking at your direction), I know your’e capable of making this world a better place if you just SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN (or in this case read the blog post, subsequent comments, and then figure out how it applies to you in your daily life) before you even consider what you’re going to say next.
I’m just sick of awesome discussion being interrupted constantly on all of these replies.
Big thanks to everyone else that follows this blog that isn’t a jerk. The conversation is always just as important as the post to help expand on the ideas presented.
-Mike
-Mike
April 22, 2009 at 4:34 am
Hello,
Patrick Berkeley introduced me to this website. I like it.
Bye now,
Calvin
April 28, 2009 at 8:39 pm
The intense love I am feeling for you and your blog has deprived me of the ability to form coherent sentences. (What I typed first was something like, “GAHHHH OMGZ U RULE SO HARD LOVE IT!!!”)
May 12, 2009 at 7:12 am
i must admit that i used have more than a passing interest in bdsm. but that was until i became a regular reader of this site. its not been easy, but i can safely say that i have been able to suppress those fantasies to a fairly non-existant degree now. thank you.
May 12, 2009 at 3:55 pm
sorry, my blog was misspelt in my earlier post.
May 12, 2009 at 10:11 pm
Jack, now try to see this from a fat girl’s point of view.
June 1, 2009 at 7:16 pm
This may or may not be the right place for this (apologies if it’s not), but I’ve got a question for you, Nine Deuce: How do I go about alerting you about something I’ve read that I think might interest you? I don’t see an ‘email me’ link, which seems to me to be prudent considering the number of dolts out there who would just abuse that privilege, and I don’t want to just go around posting links on other people’s blogs without permission. So if you’re cool with random links being posted, I shall do so (though I’d ask where would be most appropriate), and if not, well, I dunno what.
June 1, 2009 at 9:10 pm
You can post links here, or e-mail me at rageagainstthemanchine@gmail.com (the e-mail address is over on the right).
June 1, 2009 at 9:24 pm
Ok, well here’s the link then:
http://www.adbusters.org/magazine/83/pornocalypse_now.html
I’ll have to remember to look harder at the right-hand side next time I scroll all the way down the page…
June 4, 2009 at 11:28 am
Hi. I was looking for the search box and then I realized that… You don’t have one. What I am trying to say is that it would be useful if you could put one in the sidebar, it’d be much appreciated. Thanks!
June 4, 2009 at 2:55 pm
It’s on the right.
June 5, 2009 at 8:39 am
“I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion. ” haha. nice. can I put this on a tshirt?
June 5, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Go for it.
June 7, 2009 at 6:25 am
I love your blog. Fuck off and learn, dudes.
June 8, 2009 at 8:13 pm
Ugh. I suppose I like that men are starting to pay attention to the damage that porn is doing, but that guy’s writing is insufferable.
June 15, 2009 at 10:33 pm
“I try to have an abortion at least once every ten weeks. I find it’s good for my complexion. ”
My complexion must be worse than yours. I need an abortion every eight weeks or so for it to do anything for my blackheads :-)
June 26, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Whoa.
First off, I have to say..I love the site. Love it. Too bad you have so many quasi retards compelled to leave such blurbs of verbal vomit as comments to bog down what could be a nice group of intellectual discussion regarding your blog entries, but I suppose the interweb is full of morons…we just have to live with it.
I suppose, I just added to that pile, no? Jesus christ…its never ending.
Anyhew. Keep up the good work ladyfriend. As a Camile style feminazi myself, we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but thats why I love ya. If everyone would just agree to disagree and listen to others opinions and not have a fucking aneurysm, the world would be a better place.
To the bible thumping, cock wielding freak shows…..suck it. You don’t count. mwaahhhhhaaaahaaa
June 29, 2009 at 5:01 am
Buttkicker69 (from way upthread) has GOT to be a parody.
Anyhoos, love the blog!
July 10, 2009 at 10:59 am
Oh, WTF, WTF, WTF. The last thing I expect to see as the first comment on a lovely radfem blog is some asshole spouting off all the same old bullshit (silly me I guess, I read enough blogs to know that women with opinions, to these guys, are like little mechanical moles to be smashed with a hammer as soon as they pop up). I have walked to my car from late-night classes, on campus, in the dark, being followed by a half dozen young men who loudly made sexual comments about my body. I’ve had an old man “flirt” with me by explaining how he’d like to put me in the back of his car and “have a good time with me” while I was essentially trapped there, running a charity table by myself (I could leave, sure, if I was okay with having all the merch + cash stolen…). I’ve heard a man loudly describe to his friends how he’d like to anally rape me while I was shopping for CDs at the local wal-mart. I have had men leer and yell and whistle and generally make me feel like shit. I wear jeans and t-shirts and military jackets and skate shoes and men’s sandals with the squishy insoles built in… So can we as a society stop all this ignorant bullshit about how women who get sexually harassed are “asking for it” by wearing the sexxxy clothes? we could wear burkhas, we could wear bikinis, it wouldn’t matter. The only way a woman can avoid being sexually abused by men in our society is to stop leaving the house or better yet, stop existing. So a big fuck you to Iain Hall and anyone else who thinks he can explain to women how our own lives operate. Heaven forbid that women expect to be treated with respect, whether they’re walking down the street or taking part in online discussions.
(And yes I know this is about a year and some too late… delete if you like but it was either rant or smash things, and there’s nothing particularly smashable in reach. ^^)
July 15, 2009 at 1:51 am
Hey this is my first stab at reading anything labeled “femenist” and its by complete accident. It has so far been like missing pieces falling into place into my stupid male mind and its actually helping sort my thoughts out to improve my currently fucked up misguided existence. That is no bullshit, anyways, good blog.
July 15, 2009 at 2:03 am
Thanks.
July 22, 2009 at 8:24 am
This may or may not have already been asked, but how did buttkicker69 even find this blog — and seriously … 69?
Anyway, just wanted to say I am a 22-year-old woman who is struggling with issues of gender equality and trying not only to accept everything that comes with being a female but also that I probably will never understand the male perspective. This is a very difficult phase in which I have found myself and I really appreciate strong, grounded, fearless women speaking their minds (and doing so very well!) — I don’t feel so alone! Thank you!
August 2, 2009 at 1:06 pm
You are my hero- I agree with everything you talk about. Thank you.
August 19, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Hee hee hee. I <3 you. You are my new best friend.
August 23, 2009 at 10:11 am
Hands down, the best ‘about me’ page ever. Thanks for the fits of giggles.
Looking forward to reading your future posts.
August 28, 2009 at 3:51 pm
Heywood. Please avoid using the word retarded.
August 28, 2009 at 4:21 pm
OK. So your post is hard to read because it elicits very powerful feelings for those of us that have been and continue to be on the receiving end of unwarranted negative behaviors by men. What I think you are trying to say is that you agree with some of what is being said BUT you think it should be said in a way which promotes a desire to learn a more positive behavior instead of condemnation for negative behaviors. Maybe you came across wrong with the quotes and stats. Sometimes simplicity goes a long way.
Hey I get what you are saying; I think in order to make a change we need to get everybody involved, both men and women.
For the record, I too have suffered and for the betterment of the world in which my son and my daughter will grow up in, there must be a change. My children will be the product of a self aware mother that forces them to consider life from ALL perspectives. This includes women, men, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bi-sexual, all backgrounds, without judgment. NO HATE
September 2, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Nine Deuce,
I was told of your journal through a friend and after reading almost every one of your posts, I have decided this is definitely not my site to visit.
I believe people have the right to speak her/his own opinion, to have individual beliefs and to have the freedom to voice said feelings.
With that said though I must say, I find myself sad when reading your words. The tone to which I read each sentence is filled with hate, anger and a lack of acceptance to anything that does not fit into your ideal world.
Life is complicated. Perhaps there are a few moments of black and white but for the most part, most things are a shade of grey. When I read your journal I see only black and white. No in between.
Alexandria
September 2, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Dude.
You SO do not like bible camps.
September 2, 2009 at 9:17 pm
I actually don’t like any of that shit except maybe “Centerfield.”
September 3, 2009 at 8:36 am
Oh, I figured that out :)
September 8, 2009 at 7:22 am
Wow, that was really lame. I know I’m like a year to late, but it was so many things wrong with what u said, first, if u were a good christian u wouldn’t be relating to any women but ur wife( if u have one), uwouldnt judge people for their sexuality && u wouldn’t be calling people stupid && queers. I am about to have my third child, all of whom are boys, I’d be damned if I raise my boys to think it’s okay to mistreat a woman. I love men just as much as the next woman, I don’t blame all men for the mistakes that other men made, but I do know there are some really bad men out there. I was mistreated by one for almost 5 years. I don’t hold that against other men because I know there are some good men out there. U didn’t come off as one. I totally get what iain was saying about attracting more bees with honey, but that faze has come && gone. It’s time to being a bitch && let people know, u willnot walk all over me.
September 8, 2009 at 7:51 am
That was funny douchebag, now let me tell u something, I am the only woman that works at my job, I tell the men what to do && how to do it, I raise my two boys on my own plus I’m pregnant with my third. I do it by my self because most “men” don’t know what it’s like to be men, so they run like bitches. I hope u find ur porn, dumb ass, && tell palmette and her 5 sisters to treat u well mr. Lonely man. Maybe one day you’ll actually charm a woman into sleeping with u.
September 8, 2009 at 9:10 am
What a fantastic blog. I can’t believe I have only just discovered it! Great “about me” page too!
September 9, 2009 at 8:45 am
I’m a year too late as well, oops. I read the first comment he made and I ended up with an image of a shirtless redneck drinking a beer. I know it’s stereotyping but as I’m from the south I see it all the time. Anyway I got to the part about NASCAR and really started laughing.
Also, the capslock key doesn’t make people absorb a message any better, it just gives people a headache while reading this idiotic dribble.
It’s a shame that MRA’s are so pissed about feminists. All we want is to be treated fairly and not objectified and made to feel powerless. Why is this such a bad thing?
September 13, 2009 at 4:45 am
“I’m basically a “man” trapped in a woman’s body. What I mean is that, like a person with a penis, I act like a human being and expect other people to treat me like one even though I have a vagina.”
Why aren’t you a woman in your own body? So having a penis and NOT a vagina is one of the the thing that makes you a human being? What does having a vagina make you? A human UNbeing? I think you have misunderstand equality. True sexual equality means being treated and living as though your gender has standing and power. The way it seems you understand equality is to defy and downgrade the independent power of femaleness JUST LIKE MEN DO. That’s a kind of skewed equality–like making everyone wear the same size shoes. Some women believe that thinking misogynistically along with the big boys somehow makes them part of the power class and dulls them from the pain (“It cant be that bad if I’m doing it myself”). It doesn’t dull the pain, as evidenced by your anger.. Women hitting themselves on their heads just because men hit women on their heads is not equality. All it will do is get men to laugh at you all the way to the ego bank.
September 13, 2009 at 5:45 am
I think you’re missing my point. I don’t want a penis, and I’m not bothered by being a woman. What I’m saying is that even though our culture takes men to be the default human beings and conceives of women as lesser, I expect people to treat me like a full human being anyway, because it’s what’s right. I’m not the one who thinks having a penis is what makes one human, I’m arguing that there’s something wrong with that. See the following sentence. I believe gender is socially constructed, that our genitalia ought not be what determines everything about us, that there is no such thing as a “male” or “female” behavior. I don’t devalue femaleness at all, nor am I as angry as you seem to think I am. There’s a large measure of jokiness going on here that I think you might not be picking up.
September 15, 2009 at 9:55 pm
Ok, I do agree with everything you say here. I did not pick up on the sarcasm before.
Since this is your own blog, I don’t know if it is OK to post some of my own thoughts on men. If I should not have done it, please let me know, because here they are, ready nor not.
When a man calls a woman a “feminazi”, what he is saying is that she has discovered the staunchly guarded knowledge that men have been keeping to themselves. It is this: You do not have to apologize for being happy or satisfied. You do not have to be grateful to someone else for being happy. You do not have to accept someone ELSE’S definition of happiness. You do not have to be accountable to anyone else for being happy. You do not have to “feminize” your being happy so that it does not take too much room away from men’s happiness. Your joy may freely occupy your own space or any space you like. Your joy may be any size you want. You do not have to sit at the back of the gender bus. You may if you want to, and that is what men have trying to get women to believe for eons–that being a second-class citizen, reducing the size and strength of your personhood, is what women want to be—because it’s “feminine”. You see, ALL men are mascunazis.
SOME signs that women have been doing everything all wrong:
• Women dance backwards. Men get to do it naturally—women have to do it against the way they naturally move. .
• Kings come before queens in cards
• God is thought of as a father.
• Male comes before female on applications even though it is one of the few time a list of words is not alphabetized.
• We relate to everyone as He.
• Shortness is devalued. The ONLY reason shortness is devalued is because it is a female condition. The good life goes to women whose heights remind men of themselves. If you are short, it probably won’t go to you.
• Men “respectfully” hold doors open for women while keeping doors closed to women in areas of life that count.
• Books on societies have sections for the examination of women listed in the index, but men are left alone. Men’s privacy is obviously very highly regarded.
• A promiscuous man is…a man.
• A grumpy, snarling man is…a grumpy, snarling man.
• Girl cheerleaders are lead by a male.
• Men wear suits to a posh do. Women show more skin. By reducing the amount of clothes they wear, women apologize for taking up space by making their bodies vulnerable and accessible to men’s view. Making women’s scantily clad bodies accessible to WOMEN’S view in the presence of men is a requirement that further reduces their gender strength. Women not valuing or protecting their privacy is an important component of appearing “feminine”.
Men and women are both equally emotional. It is simply called being emotional in women, and in men, it is called being aggressive. Women tend to internalize it more to avoid violence, dismissal, trivialization and so forth. When aggression is internalized, it is expressed verbally. It is called emotions in women as an attempt to discredit the same actions in women that make men…men.
What is a man? A man is a human being who has taken for his own identification the shortened version of the word “human” (MAN), and all the good, positive healthful and emotionally satisfying things that being human stands for. Of woman, he has demanded she take upon herself all the negative leftovers and fit herself to those roles. He has even raised such buffoonish deceit to religious fervor. Should she express positive personhood, she is declared to be taking upon herself the forbidden role of being like a man. Men want women to be the worst that humans can be, and then they them “good women”. Of course, men will still hate them and revile them because they are being the bad PEOPLE that men want them to be.
September 15, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Word to all that.
September 16, 2009 at 9:13 am
Ack! Your blog is crawling with men’s rights dudes! Call the exterminator!
There’s nothing quite like the smell of pedophilia promoting, under educated, rape denying mra’s, while perusing feminist blogs at two o’clock in the morning. Even though they never identify their affiliation until you call them on it, it’s a stench that fills ones nostrils from across the Internet. Yum.
Fireworks, buttlicker69 found this blog because he’s a creepy little mra who lives to aggravate feminist bloggers. All they do is get on line and search for women like Nine Deuce, in hopes of gaining an audience for their funny little issues. Fortunately, the writer of this one does not appear to be too shaken up. And why should she? Those dudes are slimy, but like any worm, they’re not a real threat.
I dig your blog, Nine Deuce, mra freaks and all.
September 16, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Your blog URL made me snort. hahaha
September 17, 2009 at 3:21 am
Thanks syndicalist702. I named it that in reaction to the fit they pitched over the “Boys Have Cooties” tee-shirts (which I don’t approve of) just to aggravate them.
Rebecca, mascunazis is my new favorite neolgism. I wonder if you coined it, because it’s definitely one for the files, and you deserve props for it if you did. Too funny.
September 18, 2009 at 6:38 am
Ha ha, yes I coined it.
September 18, 2009 at 9:40 am
Goddamn. I think I love you.
September 19, 2009 at 8:26 pm
MRA’s Are Stupid. Throw Rocks At Them.
September 23, 2009 at 1:53 am
Hey buttlicker69,
If there was a God, which I doubt, I would pray to her that you would find it in your heart to cut it with the fucking caps lock. Your posts make my eyes water.
September 23, 2009 at 4:54 am
Hey, I just found that the world mascunazi is already on the internet. So, though I came up with my word all by lonesome, someone else also did before me.
I know, Nice Deuce, that this is your own blog. I would like to share with you some of my other thoughts on men. Let me know if this is not the place to do it.
This is what I know…..that men live to break women’s hearts and steal their joy. I also know that men understand everything that women say, or else how can they always manage to stick the needle in the dead center of whatever balloon of joy women are bouncing around in their naive love of life? Men say they cannot understand women. It’s a lie but it goes without saying that they are required to say it. Duh! Whom is required to understand whom—a slave or its master? Understanding a woman would appear to men to be a step down. Do you really think men would ever admit that men and women were on the same levels? Men will never admit understanding women because being understood is the most intense and powerful form of joy that a being can experience, and men do not want women to have that kind of sweet inner joy or mental peace or power. Being understood is power. It is honor. Not being understood when a woman says the identical thing a man says (who is immediately understood) is emotional and psychic torture—and men want woman to experience that torment. Not being understood is rejection of her personhood. It makes her less than human. It makes her an appliance. The ugly truth is–men want women to hurt.
By refusing to admit they understand women, men keep women on a lower level, like a pet that is taken care of but not understood. Also, by refusing to admit they understand women, they do not have to respect their wishes or meet their needs. The word “understand’” can be seen as the equivalent of “stand under”. When someone understands another, they “stand under” the authority of what that other person knows. When someone understands another, they ingest what the other person is conveying and make it part of their own psyche. Understanding someone is a bit of a sacrifice. You carve a hole in what you believe, in order to accommodate what someone else believes. You are allowing what someone else knows to…and here is the clincher…impregnate you. That is one major reason men refuse to admit they understand women. They don’t want what men think to be “invaded” or impregnated by what women think—even if it the same thing men think (and it usually is). They just don’t want to know it from women. A woman who is understood can be seen as the one who fills, and a man who understands women as the one who is filled. Admitting the truth (that they understand women and have always understood women) is a confession men, as a gender, will never make.
And men have the nerve to wonder why women like to get together without men! How I detest those women who sleep with the enemy by agreeing that women are crazy or hard to understand or that men and women think differently. It is just that men spend their time thinking of negative things to do to women to lower the quality of their lives and women spend their time thinking of positive things to do for themselves to enhance the quality of their lives. Women do not spend their time thinking of ways to deprive the male gender of their basic emotional needs. But this is still not good enough for men. Any time a woman wants to do something positive for herself, even if it takes nothing away from men (and it usually does not), men still feel thwarted—cheated out of their “father right” to enjoy women’s suffering, shame and mental distress.
Pathetically, the male’s greatest emotional accomplishment is when the can break a woman’s sprit and hoodwink her into believing that the demolition of her personhood, the dismissal of intelligence IF IT IS HERS, the erasure of her identity, the disintegration of her genealogy, and the loss of her very own name equals being “loved”.
September 23, 2009 at 5:01 am
Wow. You’re even less charitable toward men than I am (that’s not a bad thing). Interesting points. If I can ever get a break from my schoolwork, I plan to finish my “Why I Hate Men” series, and I’ll be happy if you’ll participate in the discussion.
October 1, 2009 at 9:58 pm
[...] HAHAHAHAA I ♥ this bitch. [...]
October 8, 2009 at 4:17 am
I know men who absolutely do not fit the above description, but I think the attitude you describe is far more prevalent than most people are willing to admit, and it’s also a very apt description of the thinking of an abusive man. It would be erroneous, though, I think, to say that only abusive men think this way; the evidence of male entitlement is all around us.
I would perhaps argue that although some men are most certainly consciously out to hurt women, others are simply so selfish and comfortable in their privilege that they just don’t care. Still others would be bothered by all of this if they allowed themselves to think about it, so they promote a deleterious sort of denial and blame-shifting; that’s why women in porn smile as they are hurt, degraded, and called filthy names, so that the dude jerking off to it doesn’t have to feel guilty about what he’s really doing. That’s also why we have discussions about women’s alleged culpability in their own rapes, based on appearance, level of intoxication, etc.
Anyway, I thought you had some interesting and insightful points. Not all men are actual abusers, but nearly all men are allies of abusers in one form or another, and unfortunately, they’ve persuaded a hell of a lot of women that it’s easier to play by their rules and to allow themselves to be assimilated into patriarchal views than it is to rage against them.
October 9, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Nine Deuce, I will be happy to participate in such a discussion.
Aestas, I agree very much with what you say. I do not see how even the gentlest men can avoid at least BELIEVING they are entitled to have it better than women do even if they do not act on it.. Most religions tell men it is their DUTY to control women and trivialize them. It would take someone beyond a saint who goes against everything he is forced and rewarded to believe (and who is promised the delights of eternal heaven for believing and enacting)–that the more terrible his graces are to women, the better God loves him. I ask you, what man can withstand THAT kind of seduction?
However, ignorance of the real law (not religion’s phony, sexist hate laws) is no defense. In addition, it is a willful ignorance since women continue to cogently address men’s abuse of them, so men are fully aware of it. On Judgment Day, the REAL God, in shock, will, say to men who are smugly self-assured of entry to heaven as the reward for a lifetime of divine torment of women, “You abused women to please ME? You can just go to hell.”
October 14, 2009 at 3:04 pm
haha, that is the biggest load of horse shit. When I took structural geology (which is physics of rock movement – for the slow men on here) – I had the top score in my class. When I took physics – I had better grades than all of the guys who had to go for extra help after school. When I took stats, algebra and calculus – guys were looking to ME for help. So take your assumptions about how men are better problem solvers and take a hike! I’m living, walking proof that it isn’t true. Anyone who understands logic would realize that a guy who needs porn to get it up, is the one who is sexually repressed.
October 14, 2009 at 3:10 pm
If you think the kinds of things women are doing in popular porn are “normal” sexual behavior – than why aren’t straight women stuffing strap-ons up a man’s ass and then forcing him to lick it off after? I mean – if men want to argue that it is liberating to do those types of things – than why aren’t they lining up to have them done to them?
October 17, 2009 at 6:11 am
Hey, Drakkar Noir–
I flew search-and-rescue helicopters in the military for nine years, made two combat deployments in support of OIF and OEF, and earned an Air Medal for my troubles.
Both I and my “beaver” thought it kind of seemed like a “real job.”
October 22, 2009 at 4:17 am
I’m in love
October 23, 2009 at 11:02 pm
With who? Buttkicker 69?
October 29, 2009 at 11:49 pm
I think that was quite a warranted use of the word retard.
October 29, 2009 at 11:58 pm
I’m so embarressed for you…
November 3, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Blues Traveler sucks.
November 3, 2009 at 10:16 pm
Yeah, dude, that was kinda the point.
November 7, 2009 at 3:29 am
First and foremost – you are FABULOUS.
Ok. So I pretty much check up on this page almost everyday so I can read up on the latest ‘manchine’ outrage. You are a brilliant writter (seriously, Ph.D quality) and genuinely clever. YOU ARE FREAKING AWESOME. Admittedly, you have become my newest online role-model.
…Have you ever considered…writing a book?? (forgive me if you already have…!!) I’d pick it up RIGHT away, ladyfriend!
Awesome stuff. All the best ND!!!
Jessica
November 8, 2009 at 12:54 am
Thanks!
November 11, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Whoa. I don’t know who you are, but I’m really impressed. Raising kids on your own and being the only womyn in your job has got to be tough, but you do it. Bravo!
Congratulations on your new baby.
November 13, 2009 at 1:59 am
I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any.
What *is* that in the header image anyway?
November 13, 2009 at 2:04 am
A hair product demonstration on the streets of Lanzhou, China.
November 14, 2009 at 2:41 am
If you are interested in being treated as a human being, equal with all, and are sick of misogynistic assholes, I don’t understand why you make fun of so many people in this blog. In the “who is this bitch?” section you mention all of these things you “like” to do. What about people that do like to ride unicycles, like spinning in circles, or do have children with men that they aren’t married to? Why must you put them all down? I don’t see how this is more acceptable then when men put down women.
November 14, 2009 at 2:45 am
I wasn’t putting anyone down. I was throwing a bunch of things out to make it clear that people ought not be concerning themselves with my private business. And there’s a huge difference anyway. When I say I think something isn’t cool, the only power I have derives from whether the person I’m talking about cares what I think. And I never put anyone down for anything immutable. Sex is immutable, and women as a whole are oppressed because of our sex. So when men verbally attack women with gendered insults, they are asserting power.
November 17, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Look, I found your blog, but could not find a contact email address, I have some really good information I wanted to tell you but not publicly.
Its an interesting update to one of your posts, I need your help
November 17, 2009 at 4:14 pm
rageagainstthemanchine@gmail.com
November 23, 2009 at 11:39 pm
Nine Deuce, as a seasoned feminist in her mid-40s, I salute you for your wonderful weblog! Your words are my thoughts all these years! Keep working it baby!
December 4, 2009 at 9:49 am
so I wasn’t sure where to write this but quick question. I wanted to send you an email and I already wrote it but it turned out to be over 2 pages, is that ok?
December 4, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Janis – send it along.
December 13, 2009 at 6:22 pm
Nine Deuce, love your blog. However, I wanted to ask if you would be interested in commenting on a particular topic. As a lesbian who is opposed to the mainstreaming of bdsm, I’m fairly disgusted by certain kinds of butch/femme dynamics that to me seem to mirror the worst of patriarchal and phallocentric sexuality. I find it quite annoying that under the utterly-diluted tenets of third-wave feminism, these kinds of relationships get a free pass simply because the individuals involved are lesbian. Here is one site I’d really like to hear your take on, if you’ve got the time:
http://www.sugarbutch.net/
December 13, 2009 at 6:35 pm
I kind of try to avoid discussing lesbians’ issues, being that I’m not a lesbian. I think it might seem a little presumptuous of me. I think a lot of radical feminist lesbians do touch on that issue, though. Anyone wanna recommend a post to passingthrough?
December 13, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Agree 100% with ‘passingthrough’. Certain feminist issues are general, they apply to both straight and gay women.
I guess I’m just the kind of person who doesn’t mind when, for example, white people talk about racism, or straight women about lesbianism. The ideas have some merit in their own right, whatever the identities of the people making them might be.
December 13, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I personally would not find it presumptuous for a rational non-homophobic heterosexual feminist to comment on butch/femme dynamics that mirror patriarchal culture. I guess I wanted to ask for your commentary because I actually don’t see much criticism of butch/femme dynamics (particularly the simulated “suck my cock” phallocentricity) anymore within lesbian culture, and because your commentary on similar topics in a heterosexual context has been so consistently good. But I understand that others would probably get offended.
December 14, 2009 at 4:55 am
passingthrough, have you checked out redmegaera’s blog? (On ND’s blogroll.) I can’t remember if she’s done a specific post on it, but she does critique that kind of stuff and also has links to other like-minded lesbian feminists.
And hi, ND, been reading for a while.
December 14, 2009 at 7:26 am
Thanks, citywood, I did go through that blog — interesting critiques of bdsm there, but I couldn’t find anything specifically on butch/femme.
Well, I have a feeling that I might have to just write something myself on the topic.
December 14, 2009 at 7:28 am
I’m not sure. I may add to my BDSM series later, and if I do I’ll focus on F/f BDSM and the recreation of patriarchy within lesbian relationships, but I’ll have to do a lot of qualifying since I feel unqualified (kind of funny, those two words in the same sentence).
December 14, 2009 at 8:22 am
Well, I really would like someone addressing this topic. I have no idea how the following …
http://www.sugarbutch.net/2009/12/the-dirtiest-kristen-stories/
… is particularly different from heterosexual bdsm.
It often seems that third-wave feminists have no argument apart from: “If it gives you an orgasm, it must be a good thing [or can be 'problematized' to seem less bad than what it is].”
December 25, 2009 at 4:53 am
This Sandy Posey song pretty much sums up a bunch of the stuff you talk about in your posts:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qo-CEQG3xmY&feature=related
and if you want to hear the punk/powerpop version by hubble bubble:
December 25, 2009 at 5:12 am
the first ‘video’ for the nick lowe cover of “born a woman” generally sucks- sorry wasnt paying attention when i watched it.
the hubble bubble version is better anyway
December 27, 2009 at 9:25 pm
It sounds a bit ( well very ) sub Ramones to me. But I like Nick Lowe.
January 2, 2010 at 6:35 pm
I’m with you on hating Sarah Silverman.. just cannot get down with “ironic” comedians. Even Bill Cosby in his young stand-up days is funnier than her and he was clean as a whistle. Oh well.
January 8, 2010 at 12:55 pm
I don’t know if I am as smart as you but I’m an ecologist and as part of that, I have a grounding in evolutionary biology. As a result of that, I can say that genitalia really does matter.
Sexual evolutionary conflict, it hasn’t done me any favours but it did make me wish someone would publish a paper on it outside of biological journals. At least we have it better than beetles.
January 20, 2010 at 8:49 pm
I appreciate the article. I’m tired of men. They have taken all of my energy. They are family members, work colleagues, and former lovers. I have nothing left for them. I have never felt so second-rate, and so used for their amusement and their advancement. I too lack very strong feminin attributes despite being ‘physically attractive’. The day I woke up at 15 and realized that I was a girl and no longer able to be the tomboy I always was and hang out with the boys because they were too busy trying to get to third base with their girlfriends honestly ruined my life. I didn’t realize from that moment on I would be governed and defined by the rules of femininity. I feel like an immigrant. Like someone shipped me off to some foreign land that had a different language and culture and values. It only got worse once I entered the working world. Equality? Bullshit. Men have the home-field advantage. Their egos, bullshitting ways, and agressive characters bulldoze women. What are we supposed to do? Use our power of caring, compassion, and nurturing to beat them in the boardroom? How many women return to the ladies room after a difficult negotiation or confrontation in the office, only to cry quiet tears in the bathroom stall.
How many women feel stifled in their own lives because of the influence of some man? Whether its daddy’s money tying you to something you’re indebted too, or a husband that you can’t walk away from for fear of having no other options. Or a boyfriend you now rely on emotionally because you no longer keep in touch with your real friends.
It’s funny, I think back to the spice girls ‘girl power’ slogan and all it reminds me of is young girls who should be wearing coveralls and running shows going to preteen dances wearing platforms and belly exposing tops. How does that inspire anything that would provoke females to have more ‘power’?
There’s clearly a relationship of oppressed and oppressor – still. Even though we are educated, beautiful, smart, successful, career women, we are still being held captive by fear. Losing their control over women financially men have resorted to emotional. The more insecure they can make us, the more afraid we become. We are constantly reminded of our shelf life to bare children. We are scorned for not sleeping with some ass hole that expects it far too early on in the dating process. And we are in fear that if we don’t give in to sex that we will not be accepted. We fear that if we stand up to the office prick who constantly makes inappropriate comments that we will appear to be ‘uptight’. And worst of all, we fear that if we do not conform to the ideal feminin that we will not be loved by a partner.
I’ve been consumed by this for awhile. Felt quite paralyzed and still feel a bit of an alien in this world. But in the past 6 months I’ve finally decided to work WITH it. I’ve had failed attempts. I tried to embrace being a girl, only to find it led me down a path that I didn’t feel comfortable with. All of a sudden I attracted so many men just looking to take advantage. I’ve tried to embrace my non-feminin side only to find that I felt so utterly wrong inside by holding back my natural emotions and instincts.
So for anyone else struggling with this same issue, here is where I have found a way to embrace being female in a very male word:
Hold men to a higher standard.
This is not easy. It is not a matter of telling them to ‘talk to the hand’. Have the will power and discipline and persistence to refuse their behaviours, actions, comments that are offensive, rude, disgusting, ego-driven and make their company less than desireable.
Men like women. They want to be around us. We are magical, beautiful, mysterious creatures. But we have let them into our lives on THEIR terms. We hold a very powerful card in this world. And men know it. So they keep us afraid. But we can change men. And I don’t mean – marry him today and change his ways tomorrow. I mean change men everywhere. Our fathers, brothers, work colleagues, clients, priests, cousins, husbands, boyfriends, friends. Be true to yourself. Love yourself and your amazing qualities and quirks. And don’t settle for anything less than you deserve from a man. In any relationship it may be. They need to know that they need to do better. They can’t have their cake and eat it too. The only way to make it easier to live in a man’s world is to exert more feminin influence into it. We know nagging doesn’t work. But we know men always find a way to achieve what they want. And if at first they don’t succeed they will try try again. So we need to ensure they try try again in their interactions with us and all women until they understand the level we want to play at. We will not accept lazy men, smelly men, alcoholic men, rude men, angry men, temper tantrums, abusive men etc. We will not do business with unfair and unethical organizations, businesses and men. And when we do these things, the world will notice a shift in all things. Then we will have introduced our worth and value back into the world. We will not have done it with anger, resentment, and violence. We will have done it with patience, love and compassion. And like most successful dealings with men, we will have made it seem like it was all their idea.
I’d like to know your thoughts.
January 20, 2010 at 11:31 pm
My thoughts are that I don’t disagree with anything you’ve said at all.
January 23, 2010 at 12:23 am
I actually feel bad for butt-kicked or whatever his name is… I mean to be that angry, to lose your logical thought processes (and grammar)… anyway, the things that you generalize women for are laughable to me… but perhaps I can find the humor in it because I’m not feeling a sense of guilt for being the woman you portray as the female race… like I’ve said before…to be angry is to be guilty of those talked about behaviors. It’s much easier to be angry about a given behavior as opposed to reforming it. I guess this is why most men fail to see what feminism is all about. Instead of confronting their own guilt and shame about the way they treat women, they reduce it down to feminists being man hating lesbians, or even worse (but better in proving our point) ugly and fat.. LOL!! Laughable indeed… Why get angry unless you fall into the exact habits that we as feminists are against?
January 23, 2010 at 8:49 am
Buttkicker was amusing as shit. He’s as passionate as we are. Maybe we should invite him out for dinner.
Then again…
January 23, 2010 at 9:23 am
Nine deuce *is* an excellent writer and I like that ‘arrogance’ rivaling even the most arrogant male writer. The thing about certain men is that they take any admission of error as a sign that they are winning and that you are weak. Also many of them lack subtlety. If you tell them you are smarter than them they will believe you on a certain level, but if you are courteous or modest they will continue assuming that they know better than you, are innately smarter and will try to school you — like that first dude that wrote in, for example. They don’t get that the I Hate Men blog is not really about hating men. It’s about hating the system and the behavior in the men that the system produces. Patriarchal society is corrupted, even if it’s had good points. The corruption has to do with abuse of power, and the obsession with power that patriarchy has led to. A matriarchal society might have some unforeseen problems as well. A MaPatriarchal society would probably do best for everyone, but when women advocate a more just and equitable representation in society they are branded as Nazis, just as countries who have been colonized or exploited are branded as Communists when they were simply being Nationalist. It is a natural urge for a country to resist domination and exploitation and be “nationalist.” The same goes for women. It is a natural urge to resist domination and exploitation and to want to be treated as a human being. The problem is: men in power often do not even treat other men as human beings as can be witnessed when the poorer segments of society ( a huge portion of them male) are sent to imperialistic wars to kill and be killed. Men other than royalty have been used as pawns in wars for centuries. [Women, considered even less important than soldiers have been systematically raped, maimed and murdered in these wars as well.] If I were a man I would be sick of this form of patriarchy and sick of being used as a tool for the elite.
As regards to anger: take one small privilege away from the average American white male and watch how ballistic he will get. As for mood swings, 75 to 95% of people in jail for violent crimes are men – were they having stable moods while they were hacking grandpa up?
The problem is definitions. What is the definition of a mood swing? Emotional and irrational behavior? Would manslaughter be consider emotional, irrational behavior? Apparently not – unless it was committed by a woman.
January 23, 2010 at 9:32 am
Nine deuce *is* an excellent writer and I like that ‘arrogance’ rivaling even the most arrogant male writer. The thing about certain men is that they take any admission of error as a sign that they are winning and that you are weak. Also many of them lack subtlety. If you tell them you are smarter than them they will believe you on a certain level, but if you are courteous or modest they will continue assuming that they know better than you, are innately smarter and will try to school you — like that first dude that wrote in, for example. They don’t get that the I Hate Men blog is not really about hating men. It’s about hating the system and the behavior in the men that the system produces. Patriarchal society is corrupted, even if it’s had good points. The corruption has to do with abuse of power, and the obsession with power that patriarchy has led to. A matriarchal society might have some unforeseen problems as well. A MaPatriarchal society would probably do best for everyone, but when women advocate a more just and equitable representation in society they are branded as Nazis, just as countries who have been colonized or exploited are branded as Communists when they were simply being Nationalist. It is a natural urge for a country to resist domination and exploitation and be “nationalist.” The same goes for women. It is a natural urge to resist domination and exploitation and to want to be treated as a human being. The problem is: men in power often do not even treat other men as human beings as can be witnessed when the poorer segments of society ( a huge portion of them male) are sent to imperialistic wars to kill and be killed. Men other than royalty have been used as pawns in wars for centuries. [Women, considered even less important than soldiers have been systematically raped, maimed and murdered in these wars as well.] If I were a man I would be sick of this form of patriarchy and sick of being used as a tool for the elite.
As regards to anger: take one small privilege away from the average American white male and watch how ballistic he will get. As for mood swings, 75 to 95% of people in jail for violent crimes are men – were they having stable moods while they were hacking grandpa up?
The problem is definitions. What is the definition of a mood swing? Emotional and irrational behavior? Would manslaughter be considered emotional, irrational behavior? Apparently not – unless it was committed by a woman.
January 23, 2010 at 9:46 am
Salesfornowgal, why do we have to make them think it was all their idea?
They’re been stealing the copyrights on all ideas for over 2,000 years. That or insuring that women were effectively lobotomized after the age of twelve.
Making men weak is not a form of compassion.
January 23, 2010 at 1:16 pm
I’d disagree with that. I’d say men who fail to understand feminism (in the broad sense, I mean, feminists like arguing about what feminism is) often would do so because they aren’t women, haven’t grown up in this society as women, and thus haven’t experienced society from the PoV of a woman. In the same way that someone who isn’t a victim of other types of persecution (racism, say) is unlikely to understand what it is like.
Alternatively (and less charitably), they see no reason to care. Persecution of women, well, that’s the way things are, little difference to the plight of the third world which little interests the first.
“to be angry is to be guilty of those talked about behaviors”
I’d also disagree with that. At least in some cases, being tarred with the same brush as people worse than you isn’t much fun (people have always hated being associated with the extremes of whatever group they are in).
And, of course, if you simply don’t agree with (or understand) feminism, you are likely to be annoyed with feminists, the same as with any other cause.
January 23, 2010 at 9:49 pm
I think a lot of people are easily “annoyed by feminism” before they even bother to read its foundations because people grow up in a virtually universal culture of bias against women. It is so prevalent that we don’t even notice it.
I have some compassion for people (male and female) who don’t know any better, but I’m very tired of the excuse that they simply don’t understand it because they aren’t women or knowledgeable with regards to human rights and women’s right. I am a white person who was ten years old when MLK marched on Washington, made his eloquent speeches regarding Civil Rights, and was subsequently gunned down in a hotel room as was Malcolm X, Medgar Evans, Black Panther leaders sleeping in their beds at home and many others. I didn’t know what it was like to be black or to be tear gassed for going to school but it didn’t take a sledgehammer to awaken me to the fact that Whites have been treating Blacks like shit for hundreds of years – and I am still impatient with racism when I see it in others today (and if I find it camouflaged within myself in some other guise.) Not knowing what it is like to be female or black or Native American or a male in the army etc. is no excuse for behaving like an asshole towards another group. You may think a lot of us are behaving like assholes saying we “hate men” on this blog, but this is a rare place to vent long held frustrations – most of us do not go around disparaging every male we meet (well maybe some of us do) but in general we detest certain behaviors of men – not men as a species similar to us. We detest their behaviors the way African Americans have detested lynchings. We detest certain actions because they cause suffering, pain, terror and rage. We detest injustice. We detest not speaking out because we see where that us led us for at least two thousand years.
January 23, 2010 at 9:59 pm
I don’t understand – to the others posting on here, are you all just ranting or do you have any proposed solutions. I’d like to know how any of this is helping anyone? Sure we all hate men. But there are better ways than just than comparing theories and sounding like a women’s studies textbook to reinstate women’s worth back into this world. Our worth is already here, but for some reason to unleash it fully we all want a validation from men and from men’s actions. At least that’s the way I feel.
I’m not sure what everyone else’s life experiences are. But I”m a self-employed business woman who deal with men on a regular basis in conflicting situations. on a personal level i’m single because i’m so tired of fighting with men and their egos all day long that I can’t bear to see them at the end of the day.
Anyways, I was hoping for other tips or advice from women that have found coping mechanisms and ways to ‘warm’ themselves to the situation at hand.
Than ks
January 24, 2010 at 4:27 am
I do agree with those conclusions isme, and I’m not saying that those aren’t the main factors for their misunderstanding feminism… I do however think that men don’t get so far as to question WHY we are angry… They see anger and dismiss it before ever questioning it, and when they do ask, and we give them an earful, they shut down completely and ignore the fact that their behavior hurts women. At least its been so in my experience with men that I’ve talked to about feminism… it’s been awhile since I’ve been in the feminist movement, and perhaps the peer group I was dealing with at the time just wasn’t mature enough to have a conversation without dismissing it as “my time of the month”.
January 24, 2010 at 10:48 am
“for some reason to unleash it fully we all want a validation from men and from men’s actions”
No, we want men to stop interfering. We want to counteract the self-perpetuating message that women aren’t the real deal, because that makes people more likely either to interfere or to allow it to happen.
Developing ideas with discussion among feminists leads to arguments that convince other people, which leads to more feminists. Raising awareness isn’t enough for physically remote causes, but for feminism it should help a lot because everything’s happening amidst us. It’s not that hard to figure out how each person of any sex could change it on a very individual level given more awareness, assuming that s/he at least wants to appear decent to others.
January 25, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Wow. I think Rebecca and I might be platonic soul mates. What part of the universe are you in?
Salesfornowgal and yeawesaidit are no slouches either.
February 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Interesting. I unfortunately don’t have time to read all of the comments posted to this page… there are a lot! However, I have a serious question for everyone here. First some background then the question.
I’m almost 40, male, divorced. I was married for 10 years, together for 14. I’m a self-described liberal. I’ve always had little use for girly-girls. I never liked it when my wife wore makeup… I felt like it wasn’t the woman I knew. I didn’t really recognize her. I didn’t need her to dress up, or do anything extra-ordinary to believe that she was a beautiful woman. (Of course she was smart, funny, caring, etc. or I wouldn’t have been interested in her… but my question focuses on the whole objectification thing so I’m going to focus my dialog on beautification.) I always felt women who worried overmuch about their hair, their clothes, their shoes, their purse were vapid and empty and wouldn’t have looked twice at such a person.
Fast forward to today. A year ago I met a woman who is an accomplished scientist–smart, interesting, funny, loving… and about as girly-girl as you can get. I’ve never bought a woman fashion accessories before, but I’ve given her an expensive purse. (OK, it was like $150 but to me that’s like pissing money in the toilet.) In any case, I think she’s just as beautiful when she wakes up in the morning as she is when she’s all dolled up, but I can appreciate when she does do herself up as well. She’s Russian, so she comes from a culture where, as she puts it, women should be “cooks in the kitchen, queens in the living room and whores in the bedroom”. This is a little anathema to how I’ve previously lived my life, but I think she’s a great woman. She’s very successful at being who she wants to be… i.e. all of the above.
Now comes the question. Is this really so bad?
I would argue, and I think most of the blog fans would agree, that pure objectification is not a good thing. Dehumanization is bad. But as animals, there is a component in our attraction space that corresponds to physical attraction. We’ve all had the experience where we were physically attracted to someone (or not) and that changed as we got to know them. Where we lost that attraction because the person was a jerk or where we suddenly felt a physical attraction because they were so wonderful.
Is it the right thing to completely forsake that side of ourselves that responds to physical attraction?
Note that I’m not arguing that physical beauty is the only important thing, but from my experience, it is an enhancement.
There is a myriad set of things we do to make ourselves more attractive to prospective mates, from trying to make them laugh to making them feel heard. Couldn’t this be one of those things?
My girlfriend has taught me to appreciate what she does for me. To appreciate the gesture that she wants me to want her. I’m always telling her that I’ll want her anyway, and I in fact get annoyed when I can’t kiss her in the morning because she’s worried about her breath. But it is charming that she wants to be her best for me in all aspects; she wants me to know how smart she is, how funny she is, and how beautiful she is. And I do the same for her, to the point of playing along with her outfit matching when we go out together. Any time I don’t do my part, when I go to bed (sleep) without brushing my teeth, or a little sweaty from a recent work out it’s pure laziness, and I’m actually starting to feel a little guilty about it. She wants me to have the best experience of her as possible, I should do the same.
When seen from this perspective, I start to wonder if the complete rejection of all of the components of physical attraction is not an over radicalization and over reaction to the radical and terribly wrong process of complete objectification. I’m curious to hear the thoughts of others about this.
February 2, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Now comes the question:
Why should I care?
February 3, 2010 at 9:23 am
@ polly
Really. I got about 2 1/2 paragraphs through that entitled slop then just scrolled…
February 3, 2010 at 7:11 pm
LOL LOL LOL LOL!
February 3, 2010 at 10:21 pm
@mshiffer: I’ll try my hand at answering your question, even though Polly’s answer is more than adequate.
Others may disagree, but I don’t believe it’s possible to objectify one’s self. A woman can sexually exploit herself, certainly, but only an observer can erase her humanity by turning her body into an impersonal tool – thereby turning her into an object – for his personal sexual gratification.
You ask if it’s “so bad” for your girlfriend to be uber-feminine and the short answer is “no”. A person can easily delude herself into believing cultural conformity is in her best interests, regardless of how toxic the cultural milieu is, causing her to act unknowingly in self-destructive ways.
Personally, I’m not anti-femininity. I like make-up in moderation, I love how it feels to walk (short distances) in high heels. I temper my femininity with feminist common sense and see nothing wrong with that. I don’t believe you’ll find a single feminist who thinks there’s something “bad” about enhancing natural beauty, but I could be wrong. The problem is that compliance with the feminine aesthetic is compulsory in our society, it’s integral to social and professional status for a woman, and that’s what feminists have a beef with.
February 3, 2010 at 10:31 pm
CRISIS OF CAPITALISM BENEFIT SHOW 2/4/10
Posted on January 28, 2010 by wilderside
Thursday, February 4, 2010 at 9:00pm
The Pyramid, NYC
The “Crisis of Capitalism” benefit show will support the 22 arrestees of Resalto community center in Greece; and to support the School of the Americas Watch in Haiti, to ensure that our money does not contribute to imperialism’s influence in the region.
Bands:
Bigger Princess
Born in a Cent
Just Dave
The Last Internationale w/ the legendary David Peel (Apple Records, Orange Records).
Night Walker
Sidius
Final Outlaw
Sliding Scale $7-20 at the door. Show starts at 9!