i think you should thank Mistress 9-2, or get ready for more punishment:)

Put themselves in abusive situations? PUT THEMSELVES IN ABUSIVE SITUATIONS?

This statement here, imho totally errodes any “feminist” argument you might put forward. NO ONE “puts themself” in an abusive situation. Oy-vey.

” Just because someone enjoys being degraded in the bedroom (or in porn) does not mean they would stand for it in a real-life setting.”

So the bedroom insn’t real life? Somehow when you walk over the threshold of a bedroom door you are magically transported to fairy unicorn happy donut land where everything happens in a vacuum.
Oh yeah, and the women and men in porn? They’re real people too. Every time you see a woman getting beaten, abused, fucked or what ever in any pornographic recording – it happened to a living, breathing, pissing, shitting, food consuming HUMAN BEING. Or does the land behind the video camera link up to the magical Narnia of the bedroom? I fucking doubt it. I’m calling bullshit.

“If ANYONE, male, female, or other raised their hand to me outside of a sexual situation, you better believe that I would not just take it.”

And from here, I can really tell that you have probably never been in an abusive situation, raped, beaten by a spouse or anything like that. Before my rapes and abusive relationships came by I used to say some stupid shit like that too.
It’s.Not.That.Simple.

“I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but most people who look at porn/bdsm as “degrading” or “inhumane”/whatever are either religious or have been abused and, to me, are not fully capable of forming fair opinions on the matter.”

But really I suppose in your mind my opinions and personal experiences on the matter (and countless other women and childrens) don’t really mean diddly squat because I’ve been through XYZ therefore I am biased. Yeah, that makes sense.

I’ll just go back to my post-traumatic-ass therapy and bitchin’ valium prescription.
Pfft.

I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but most people who look at porn/bdsm as “degrading” or “inhumane”/whatever are either religious or have been abused and, to me, are not fully capable of forming fair opinions on the matter. Perhaps you should look a little more closely at why you think the way you do instead of unthinkly polluting peoples’ minds and giving them a bias, not allowing them to come to their own conclusions. Because whether I like it or not, there are probably a lot of young women who stumble across articles like this because they believe in the ideals of feminism and are confronted with this hypocritical and self-conflicted bullshit that you’ve posted on the internet for all to see.

Wow. You are the feminist and I’m not?

I consider myself to be a feminist and a switch (bdsm sub/dom as I choose). The way you are speaking, it sounds as if you think any act with a female submissive is anti-feminist, but I disagree. With my male partner, I enjoy being dominated. I like being bound, I like being chastised and “humiliated”. But, in turn, he likes to be dominated by me. Ie, getting spanked, me dressing him up in drag ect.

In what way is this anti-feminist? Of course there are going to be woman who put themselves in abusive situtations and call it bdsm. Of course there are going to be males who take bdsm as a chance to truly degrade and use women. But these people are not the majority. Most bdsm relationships stem from communication with your partner pertaining to your wants and limits and your needs. If a woman gets off on getting smacked, that does not make it anti-feminist. If she doesn’t actually enjoy it and does it to please her partner/is forced into it, that is anti-feminist.

Basically, I think your whole little write-up is counter-productive to an EQUAL RIGHTS society. What one chooses to do as a consenting adult is not pertinent to some arbitrary battle of male chauvinism. Just because someone enjoys being degraded in the bedroom (or in porn) does not mean they would stand for it in a real-life setting.

If ANYONE, male, female, or other raised their hand to me outside of a sexual situation, you better believe that I would not just take it. That is assault and not a consensual act. I think your view points are skewed and unfair, labeling those who are for your general cause as anti-feminists.

I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but most people who look at porn/bdsm as “degrading” or “inhumane”/whatever are either religious or have been abused and, to me, are not fully capable of forming fair opinions on the matter. Perhaps you should look a little more closely at why you think the way you do instead of unthinkly polluting peoples’ minds and giving them a bias, not allowing them to come to their own conclusions. Because whether I like it or not, there are probably a lot of young women who stumble across articles like this because they believe in the ideals of feminism and are confronted with this hypocritical and self-conflicted bullshit that you’ve posted on the internet for all to see.

Or to express gratitude, or generosity, or solidarity, or to quell an argument, or to cheer someone up, or any other honest and forthright motive. I don’t think sex is a special category of human activity where motivations need an extra special gold star.

You seem to be saying that women can claim as feminist any sex act they can claim as coming from their “authentic and unregulated desire.” Which could be kissing and holding hands, or that nasty, nightmare-inducing thing with raisins and Pez dispensers.

But the argument, as I understand it, that 9/2 is describing is that women claim particular exotic sex acts as feminist because of their exotic nature. That is, they are claiming that kinky sex (etc.) is more feminist that all that neutral sex everyone else is having. I don’t hear you saying that(?)

And don’t apologize for your lack of a PhD, please, god, or I’ll have to make my whole life one long act of contrition for how little education I have…

my logic (if it can be called that) goes a little something like this – for personhood to exist, desire must exist. And feminism something something radical notion something something women are people blah blah blah.

for me, if you are not a PERSON, you can’t formulate a DESIRE. if your DESIRES are stereotyped, discounted, ignored, assumed to not even exist, etc., you are not a PERSON.

HOWEVER – many people are convinced that women’s desire is poisoned (completely or partially) by The Patriarchy, and can never be authentic. So we argue.

I’m not a super-smart PhD candidate like Nine Deuce, so I’m pretty sure my comment is rambly and not coherent. I’m chasing a toddler while at work, so my attention is divided. I apologize for that.

BTW, I’m not even sure The Patriarchy is true or real by Dworkin’s definition of true and real. so I don’t put as much stock in blaming it as some do. anyway, that’s my opinion, for what it’s worth.

AP, is there any chance you could describe how you think a private sex act can be feminist? I don’t mean not-anti-feminist, or an excercise of women’s rights, I mean, like, does this private sex act further the project of women’s liberation and obliterating the patriarchy?