Comments on: Big News: Nine Deuce is Kind of a Sellout

By: DaisyDeadhead

DaisyDeadhead — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 16:37:17 +0000

Well, I can’t criticize you, since I have been married three times–and this last marriage has lasted 21 years. I am very pleased with Mr Daisy, a very nice and peaceful man, as men go.

But certainly, I can’t participate in traditional, legal, heteropatriarchal marriage while pointing my arrogant and judgmental finger at other women’s arrangements with patriarchy, in that case. That would simply be laughable.

Of course, YMMV. :)

By: Nine Deuce

Nine Deuce — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 04:07:12 +0000

I’ve actually gotten more radical since I’ve known this dude, which I think might be a good sign. I’ve got no illusions that he’s somehow avoided absorbing what our little society has to teach, but he’s willing to think about it, which is something. I think it might help that he hates men more than I do and that everyone is positive that he’s gay (those are my two favorite traits, if one can judge by my male friends and the dudes I’ve dated). He may still be a Nigel, but he actually says something when other dudes say gross shit, tells people porn isn’t cool or hip, etc. I’ve heard reports from other dudes that he’s “prissy” because he tells them not to be crass gynophobes. And as for the sock washing, it’ll be hard to do from 700 miles away, since I live in New York and he lives in Atlanta and it’s going to stay that way for the foreseeable future. I’m not having babies, I’m not merging bank accounts, and I’m not going to be dependent.

We’re not dressing up, we’re not wearing rings, no one’s giving me away, there’ll be no misogynistic ceremony that speaks of duty, and we’ll not be contributing any money to the wedding-industrial complex. No cake, no caterers, no flowers, no nothing. It’s basically an excuse to get together with people we care about in a park and tell them we’re happy to have found someone to not fit in with.

It may sound like apologia, but I think it’ll be alright. And there’s always lesbian training camp should it fail.

By: m Andrea

m Andrea — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 03:50:36 +0000

I am considering marriage also, but still haven’t found the right undectable poison…

Sorry to say but I suspect you won’t be a radfem for much longer. Pretty soon you’ll be reminding us how “some guys are nice” and letting wutzhiznym write blog posts because you’re too busy washing his socks…

By: Patricia

Patricia — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 05:02:33 +0000

Yeah, gare, being dependent doesn’t bring peace, being INdependent brings peace. Because then you can do whatever the hell you want.

I’m married, we each kept our own names, we both earn enough to be on our own if need be, and contribute equally to the household. THAT is my view of the perfect marriage.

By: Nine Deuce

Nine Deuce — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 03:10:04 +0000

gare – Being financially dependent on someone is a great way to introduce weird and inappropriate elements into a relationship. No thanks.

By: gare

gare — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 15:41:00 +0000

I don’t plan on being dependent on anyone, ever.

this is why you will never find peace. on your deathbed, you will try to WILL IT AWAY.

wontcha. g

By: Aine

Aine — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 03:13:45 +0000

Congratulations!

You’re making marriage your own thing, don’t worry about what anyone says. (not that you do!)

Good luck to the both of you!

By: Rachael

Rachael — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 12:41:00 +0000

Congratulations! Best of wishes!

By: Sis

Sis — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 11:37:53 +0000

It can be very radical to make a committment to another person. We all need to do this, in whatever way we can manage. Good luck, best wishes for lots of happiness and love.

And here’s something I thought you might be interested in:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20090117.BCBUTT17/TPStory/National

By: Anna Belle

Anna Belle — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:37:55 +0000

Oh, advice: we had a backyard wedding, which was simple and cheap enough. I wanted a justice of the peace at the courthouse, but was talked out of it. I wish I’d done it my way. If you don’t want a ceremony, don’ t have one.