Tila Tequila is my new favorite writer.

8 Jul

I promise, I’m working on a totally devastating post debunking sex positivism, but for now I’ve got something to share with you. Tila Tequila, despite being maybe the worst person in the world (aside from the producers of her show, Bill Maher, and Doug Stanhope), is a serious poet and shit. Haven’t heard? Check this shit out:

Thunderfuck my mouth is shut. Been a while, feel like a cunt.
Can’t wait for this drama to pass.
Oh the joy…..fuck you. My ass.
Live a lie.
Tell my mind.
Over soon. I can’t deny.
You will all soon see, the truth in my eyes.

Smile on my face, the loving embrace….but instead I’ll punch you in the face.
For a long time coming….I let you touch me….now that it’s over bitch….You better start running.
Pent up inside….telling these lies….this has gone too far…..the world will soon die.
Only 1 more day. To feel this way. Tomorrow I smile….brings another day!

Back to myself. Nobody else. Fuck all this bullshit. I’m back to myself. Yes. Thank the fuck God.

Is she going to do a school shooting tomorrow? Sounds like it. Either that or she’s trying out to write the lyrics for the next Trapt record.


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15 Responses to “Tila Tequila is my new favorite writer.”

  1. Genevieve July 9, 2008 at 12:47 AM #

    Was this really written by Tila Tequila? Do you actually LIKE it? Am I just too drunk to get the sarcasm? Poetry snob that I am, I thought this sucked. Like, something-I’d’ve-written-when-I-was-fourteen sucked.

  2. Nine Deuce July 9, 2008 at 12:49 AM #

    It is by Ms. Tequila, but I was kidding about liking it. I think it’s hilarious.

  3. Genevieve July 9, 2008 at 12:53 AM #

    Okay, that makes way more sense.

    Wonder what’s going on in Tila’s life to depress her so much?

  4. Nine Deuce July 9, 2008 at 12:54 AM #

    Maybe the chick she’s with turned out to not be an actual lesbian.

  5. Black Thirteen July 9, 2008 at 1:23 AM #

    Isn’t sex positivism simply one way to identify women that aren’t afraid to enjoy sex? Or something like that?

  6. Dan July 9, 2008 at 1:37 AM #

    I think you are right. Poor thing, who would have ever thought someone would pretend to be a lesbian (or even have interest in Tila) in order to get a spot on television.

  7. Genevieve July 9, 2008 at 4:01 AM #

    Nine, Dan: If that’s the case, though, I do feel bad for the girl. Sure, she might not be the smartest person in the world, and she certainly didn’t go into this little endeavor with both eyes open, but it always sucks to feel betrayed.

  8. Windstorm July 9, 2008 at 6:47 AM #

    Oh sigh. I used to be young and a musician, and actually studied and practiced, and learned the craft. But it’s not about that. Most of the “singers” I hear in the media are in dire need of voice lessons, and many have not bothered to learn to read music.

    Sour grapes? You bet. But still, doesn’t talent mean anything to anyone? Okay, it does in classical music and jazz. And rock and roll, IMHO. But what are these lyrics of Tila’s? I mean I’m happy she’s got a great gig and is successful in her life. I’m happy for her success but disappointed in the quality of the lyrics.

  9. Nine Deuce July 9, 2008 at 3:06 PM #

    I didn’t like that the last few comments about my forthcoming post on sex positivism seemed to contain some innuendo that stemmed from my unintentional poor choice of words and other people’s responses to that, so I deleted them.

  10. Nine Deuce July 9, 2008 at 5:17 PM #

    Windstorm – Would that she were a musician. She’s actually nothing of the kind, but rather one of these Paris Hilton types that is famous for nothing other than playing into stereotypes.

  11. Nine Deuce July 9, 2008 at 5:21 PM #

    Genevieve – I’d hold off on feeling sorry for Tila. I saw the recap of the season last night and she might be the worst person alive. After breaking the hearts of 30 people, the woman she chose at the end turned out not to be that into women (shock) and decided not to accept her “shot at love” with Tila Tequila. So Tila hurled all kinds of abuse at this poor girl on national television and gave her shit for leading her on, when that’s all Tila Tequila had been doing all along with all 30 people. It was surreal. If it weren’t obviously faked (horrible actors these women are), I’d really have been worried.

  12. Rachelle July 9, 2008 at 6:55 PM #

    Not much to say, just “Amen sister!”

  13. Genevieve July 10, 2008 at 1:17 AM #

    Nine–One more reason to detest reality TV ‘dating shows.’

    Making me sympathize with people I usually can’t stand.

    Did you hear Tila took credit for the legality of gay marriage in California? Yeah. That pretty much settled it for me…

  14. Nine Deuce July 10, 2008 at 1:21 AM #

    That’s awesome.

  15. Screaming Lemur July 27, 2008 at 2:04 AM #

    Can I just say, she’s disturbing? And she looks like a Bratz doll. Her music I’ve never heard and I hope to continue that state of affairs. The whole “I helped legalize gay marriage” bit is just funny. No, really, it’s gotta be comedy. She can’t be THAT dumb, right? Never mind. Anyone who invites 15 horny lesbians into her house, keeps them in a state of sexual frustration, and then screams at two of them for “disrespecting her” (they had makeouts) while she’s making out with a couple dozen other people… she’s not waiting for her MENSA acceptance.
    Yarg.

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