What about the poor rapists?

3 Jul

From the Cry Me A River Department, I’ve just heard that a Georgia Tech football player, Jerrard Tarrant (could we get a few more r’s in there, buddy?), has been accused of rape and that people who give a shit about college football think it isn’t fair. Somebody call the wahmbulance.

You might ask how I, a sports-hating media-avoider, heard about a case such as this.  I mean, among what I assume are the thousands of cases of athletes who have been accused of rape, how did I hear about this one? I was driving down Ponce de Leon here in Atlanta, minding my own business, when I ran headfirst into the most egregious example of misogyny I’ve seen since, like, at least two days ago. I turned on some FM radio station in an attempt to avoid listening to Sean Hannity or whatever super-obscure band’s CD that Davetavius had left in the CD player, and I came across a talk radio show in which two people, a man and a woman, were discussing the case.

They weren’t discussing the details of what had happened, the problem of college and professional athletes’ extreme egotism and disregard for the law, or the difficulty a rape victim faces when her attacker happens to be (somewhat/a little/locally) famous. They were talking about how shitty the whole thing must be for poor Mr. Tarrant. That’s right.

They spent probably a half an hour discussing the different aspects of how unfair the whole thing was to Tarrant and not one second discussing the fate of the accuser. First they talked about how unfortunate it was that Tarrant, some kind of big deal or other as far as football goes, would be suspended for an entire season. It would suck for him because it’s coming right in the middle of his rise to college football stardom, and it would suck for Georgia Tech because it’d put their team at a disadvantage this season. They also pointed out that it would make Georgia Tech look bad in comparison to Georgia, because I guess Georgia’s had their fair share of scandals involving Natural Ice-saturated ‘roid monkey players tearing up bars, kicking people’s asses, raping people, and stealing shit, and there’s some sort of rivalry going on between the two schools over that and whatever other bullshit makes people who didn’t go to college give a fuck about one school or another. I know people in the South are a little fruity about their college football, but is the most important thing here really whether or not a team has to make do without one of its players for a season? Guess so.

These two radio dildoes then began to wonder aloud what it must feel like to be Mr. Tarrant. The poor guy has to go to class with a bunch of people who know he’s been accused of rape. Aw, that really sucks, man. (Wait, why the fuck hasn’t he been suspended from classes at the school?) The radio hosts didn’t wonder what it might be like for the victim, who has, you know, been raped and all, and who has to go to school on a campus where people are more concerned with football stats than women’s human rights. If these two local radio “personalities” are any indication, I’d be a little more likely to worry about the victim suffering harassment and dirty looks than Tarrant. They were also worried about his future, because once these charges are dismissed (and they will be dismissed, you know), people will always remember him as the guy who got falsely accused of rape. John Bender was right, the world is an imperfect place.

They stopped just short of suggesting that men accused of rape deserve the same anonymity the courts pretend to guarantee for victims, although it was implied in a fairly heavy-handed fashion. I’m serious.

I personally don’t give a fuck, flying or not, about whether this woman’s story is true. What I do care about is the fact that these assholes on this radio program, one of whom was female (I just learned what “kapo” means – think I can call her one?), are operating under the assumption that the accusation is false. As in, a conviction would surprise these two like Milli Vanilli putting out another album or Eric Nies making a comeback would surprise me (I really want all three to happen).

As much as I try to avoid hearing or talking about anything having to do with the sensational crime case du jour, I have had to suffer through ignorant discussions of the Duke rape case. I’ve also been forced to hear a bunch of MRA bullshit about the Kobe Bryant case. Two cases in which rape charges failed to stick, one a bit of an embarrassment, the other a fucking travesty (I bet you have to think for a second about which of them I’m referring to with which noun). TWO. And sports talk radio knobs everywhere go on to assume that any woman accusing any athlete of rape is full of shit.

Well, guess what, assholes? Kobe Bryant did it. He’s gotten away with rape on several occasions in other countries by paying off or intimidating victims and their families, and he managed to do so here as well by hiring legal assassins to make the victim out to be a slut.

That’s how it works. People who have money and status get away with rape, and our culture’s tendency toward idolatry makes certain that athletes have plenty of both. The coaches, fans, and sporting media, all of whom are personally and/or financially invested in the success of “their” teams, all do their part to make sure that the general population (and the jury pool) know where their sympathies ought to lie, and the net result is that athletes get away with rape even more often than rapists who don’t wear protective undergarments do. Don’t believe me? Read this.

There’s no other way to say it: we as a culture care more about sports than a woman’s right to not be raped. Remember that shit. Write it down. Whether Georgia Tech wins a game or two this year matters more than whether or not you get raped.

I don’t want to get down on the South. I mean, I just saw a guy ride by on a motorcycle with a lot of chrome flames on it and its own sound system blaring a song I’d only expect to hear at around 3 AM at a gay dance club. It’s funny here. I kinda like it. But I don’t know whether the reaction to this case would be quite as counter-intuitive, counter-ethical, counter-logical, or counter-sane in another part of the country.  I know that sports obsession has allowed rapists to go unpunished nationwide, but I think the emphasis on college sports in this region might just work in Tarrant’s favor with the judges, prosecutors, and juries he may face to an even greater extent than it might elsewhere.

And people wonder why I don’t have a lot of good things to say about sports (that’s sports with a lower-case “s,” because I have plenty of good things to say about “Sports” by Huey Lewis and the News). Not only are team sports a training tool for creating jingoistic assholes who are incapable of independent thought, not only are they a huge waste of time, money, energy, skill, talent, and nachos, but they’re also yet another cultural institution that protects men who abuse women and who abuse the (totally flawed) legal system.


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94 Responses to “What about the poor rapists?”

  1. Mortality July 3, 2008 at 1:08 AM #

    I remember a case in Sweden were three ice hockey players were accused of gang raping a woman who’d followed them to their hotel room.

    Newspapers and opinion columns were full of shit like “what did she expect, going to their room with them?”. I can’t remember if they were convicted or not, but all three players were suspended for a game or two cos they had violated the team’s curfew -.-

  2. Claire (CJ) July 3, 2008 at 1:38 AM #

    Oh what the fuck. What is wrong with people period, but especially from the South?! My grandparents were born and raised (NC). Nothing but man-centered, woman-hating drivel oozed from both their mouths. Everything men did and said was right, everything women said and did (not centered around men or children, or perhaps laundry) was wrong.

    I knew Kolbe Bryant and the rest were guilty from the start. Especially the Duke players. As athletes, and elite athletes in particular, they are born and bred for this. Sports culture is one big, loud, drunk, raping boys club. The players are revered as gods, and sooner or later begin to act as if they have no worldly accountability to anyone, but especially women. All women are whores to (male) pro-athletes. Including their poor wives, who are regularly stepped out on, and I suspect often abused in other ways as well.

    These men have ceased to be men. They have become wild, hungry beasts whose self-importance has soared so high that they can no longer relate to their fellow human beings. Especially those with vaginas.

    Fuck them all, and sorry you had to listen to that tripe. From now on, seek music or even (possibly) better, silence!

    Much love,

    Claire (CJ).

  3. Nine Deuce July 3, 2008 at 3:25 AM #

    Yeah, no more talk radio until I get back to New York. Seriously.

  4. Black Thirteen July 3, 2008 at 12:49 PM #

    “I knew Kolbe Bryant and the rest were guilty from the start. Especially the Duke players.”

    Except the Duke players weren’t guilty.

    That’s the problem I see. Too many people are willing to hang someone who is simply accused of it, without any proof that they’ve done it. Then, even after it’s been proven that they’re innocent, people will still treat them like criminals.

    • Imaginary September 28, 2009 at 12:00 PM #

      You’re right. All rape charges should be dropped because the men are potentially harmed by it. Don’t both replying; I’ve read your other comments, and I know you’re full of shit.

  5. Me July 3, 2008 at 12:55 PM #

    The South sucks, and I HATE that stupid accent!

    • harmony March 31, 2009 at 5:51 AM #

      the south DOES suck. but damn it, i think the accent is damn sexy. shit!

  6. Genevieve July 4, 2008 at 2:08 AM #

    From a very young age boys with a modicum of talent in athletics learn that they have a pass to walk over all other people with impunity, and that nothing they do is likely to result in disciplinary action. At my high school stealing another student’s belongings was an expellable offense, but members of the wrestling team repeatedly stole and hid my ex-boyfriend’s backpack, and when found out were given a lecture and let of without getting so much as a single detention. So is it any surprise that people who are allowed to break those sorts of rules when they’re seventeen; when they’re figuratively “picking on someone their own size” will decide a few years after this to allow their unchecked power to go completely to their heads and decide that nothing anyone says matters to them–if they want sex with someone they’ll take it, because no one can touch the Mighty Invincible Athlete.

    And because men’s athletics are the most important thing in the world to many people in our culture, they’re probably right.

    Patriarchy. Fuck it.

  7. Bill July 4, 2008 at 4:14 AM #

    OK, what I am about to say will probably get me accused of racism. But reality is reality, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes us.

    American urban culture is MASSIVELY misogynistic. The black male is under constant and immense social pressure to prove his (so-called) “manliness”. At a minimum, this is expressed through verbal violence. For example, hip-hop music.

    Beyond that, he feels so out of control in the face of the law and economic pressures that he takes whatever control he can. The most expedient channel for that is women. And the ultimate control is rape.

    I realize the above is very simplified, and certainly not a universal, but definitely more widespread than in most other cultures.

    • Jennie December 6, 2013 at 2:48 AM #

      Bill, what kind of drugs are you on, and can I please have some? So you’re okaying black men to rape because of the pressure he feels from SOCIETY?! So you’re essentially saying that it’s ok for them to rape women-they have a reason. Wow-and I thought I have heard every excuse for why men rape in the book. THIS philosophy definitely takes the cake! You are excusing black men for ruinining rape survivor’s lives. You are excusing these men for scarring them for life. I should know-I am a rape SURVIVOR. The flashbacks, the anger, the RAGE…Oh I definitely know what it feels like to be a victim of rape, unfortunately. Men have NO EXCUSE to hurt/sexually assault/rob/harrass/molest women. Get it? No excuse. Let’s say a black woman shot a Muslim to death. That’s ok because she is a minority; because she is black. Get my point here? There is absolutely positively NO fucking excuse for rape!!!

  8. notawhisper July 4, 2008 at 8:13 AM #

    Bill:

    I realize the above is very simplified, and certainly not a universal, but definitely more widespread than in most other cultures.

    As someone who comes from the Far East, I can tell you that the mainstream American white culture looks as misogynist to me as does what you call “urban” culture. And the “traditional” “conservative” Chinese culture I grew up with was not much better. To say nothing of the reports we hear from just about everywhere else in the world.

    They’re all bad, just operating in different ways and along different lines. (Sometimes. Sometimes they are exactly the same.)

    I think what’s more likely is that you are more familiar with the hidden sexist assumptions of your own cultural background, and so something which is unusual to you strikes you with more force.

  9. Aoife July 4, 2008 at 8:27 AM #

    In a system where worth is measured by wealth, pro-sports players are elevated to the echelons of dude-deityness. Combine that with uber-masculinity and a patriarchal system that facilitates rape culture and we women really don’t stand a fucking chance in the case of sexual assault or rape by a sports billy.

    Bill! You madzer! ‘Reality’ is that all teh men commit rape, not just poor men facing ‘social and economic pressure’ and struggling to reclaim their masculinity from The Man. It’s not about poverty, it’s about patriarchy. Read over your strain theory, and perhaps take it somewhere that it might actually apply.

    ps- white people are poor too
    pps- you don’t listen to much hip hop do you?

  10. Genevieve July 4, 2008 at 3:32 PM #

    Hey Bill–I’d say that the same could be said for all males, particularly those not afforded much power in the greater culture. That’s not to make the “all men rape” statement, but American CULTURE, not just URBAN culture, is misogynistic. Men (in fact, all people) are constantly told that male=correct, female=incorrect. “Be a man” is synonymous with “be strong,” while women have long been referred to as “the weaker sex.” I have met PLENTY of white men who took out the fact that they had no real power in their lives on women, whether it was in the form of rape, abuse, or simply making her know that his opinions and thoughts were more ‘valuable’ than hers. I have also met several women who misguidedly try to negate the fact that they are women and misogynists will treat them like shit no matter what by being ‘one of the guys’ and cracking/laughing at rape jokes as if such a crime could never be committed against them.
    So Bill, look beyond what you see in ‘urban culture.’ It’s just one tiny microcosm in the larger world. The blame for this rests not on the shoulders of black men but on those of the people with power.

  11. Black Thirteen July 4, 2008 at 5:42 PM #

    “‘Reality’ is that all teh men commit rape”

    We do, huh? Nice viewpoint there.

  12. Sally July 5, 2008 at 7:57 PM #

    I remember I was listening to the radio, and a couple guys off of the Welsh Rugby team had been accused of rape. But that’s all I ever herd about it. It seemed like it was sweeped under the carpet pretty quickly. Which seems to be the trend here; woman accuses athlete of rape, athlete denies it. End of discussion. No one mentions it again and the athlete can carry on his career without having to bother about being called a rapist.

    I’m not sure which is worse really. It seems we like to think we have a better attitude towards rape over here, but even I was shocked to find our (the UK’s that is, in case anyone reading this has no idea where Wales) stats are worse then America’s. So I guess the way over here is not to be openly misogynistic, coz you know, that’d wouldn’t be very PC, but still uphold the ideals that keep women in their place and such.

    It’s a sad state of affairs really. Very sad indeed(yeah, I know, I keep saying that stuff makes me sad in all me comments, but it’s true. I guess things make me sad more then they make me angry).

  13. Genevieve July 5, 2008 at 8:07 PM #

    BlackThirteen–
    Sorry, but you’re not the victim here. Not ‘all men,’ as in every single man in the world at some point in his life, will rape. Everyone is aware of that. No one said otherwise. The point, however, is that, unlike what Bill asserted, there is no one group of men who are more likely to rape women than any other group of men. It is just as likely for a rapist to be a rich white man as a poor black man (though the poor black man probably has a greater chance of getting convicted).
    However, I WOULD say that men who protest too much about the fact that they’re not rapists? Probably run a greater chance of being so.

  14. Sally July 5, 2008 at 8:25 PM #

    Oh, and on the subject of sports; I can seriously not see any reason for things like football (soccer) to be single sex. I just don’t get it. It’s just saying that women can’t compete at the same level at men, which pisses me the hell off. I can understand it to a certain extent with things like rugby or american football, where it’s heavily based on strength and women are naturally weaker then men and bla bla bla. But I know that the women who play these sports build them up to the same level as the men, and are just as good. So what’s the issue? I think sports would benefit a lot if at a professional level it was mixed.

    When I was younger I loved playing sports, I loved rugby so much. But then I got to secondary school and I couldn’t play with the boys any more, and was forced to do dance and aerobics instead. That was a fucking kick in the teeth. I hate that women and men can’t even practise together for sports. Luckily I found a sport that allows it; Tae Kwon Do. It’s laughable really, that I’m not even allowed to kick a ball around with a dude in a proper club, but kicking each other in? Yeah sure, that’s fine. Ok, technically we’re not allowed to fight each other in tournaments(we’re allowed to do patterns against each other though, due to the lack of contact), but at least we get to bloody well practise together.

    tl;dr version; single sex sports suck.

  15. Black Thirteen July 6, 2008 at 12:35 AM #

    “However, I WOULD say that men who protest too much about the fact that they’re not rapists? Probably run a greater chance of being so.”

    Then I could say that the more women protest that they aren’t man-haters or gold-diggers or any other negative stereotype are more likely to fit it.

    Fair?

    • Imaginary September 28, 2009 at 12:04 PM #

      YOU ARE NOT THE VICTIM HERE! THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT YOU!

  16. Claire (CJ) July 7, 2008 at 6:03 AM #

    Black Thirteen –

    Geez, dude, this is a feminist blog. Patriarchy is all around us. We hear this stuff day in, day out. Every day. We don’t need to hear it here.

    Are you here to learn something, or just call feminists who don’t like your intrusion ‘man-haters’? Because you are, in fact, intruding…and diverting the discussion away from the issues at hand and making it all about you and your gripes with feminism/women.

    The Duke players are not innocent. They just got away with it. Most rapists do.

  17. Genevieve July 7, 2008 at 4:00 PM #

    BlackThirteen–
    Say whatever the hell you want about me. Everyone does. Hence why I’m a too-fat too-thin ‘whore’ who can’t get laid. (Though your comment is particularly funny considering I can’t remember asserting that I wasn’t a man-hater, and I sure as hell never mentioned ‘gold-diggers’ either affirmatively or negatively.) Oh, and wandering onto radical feminist blogs nitpicking and stereotyping is a wonderful way to get people to come around to your side, right?

  18. Nine Deuce July 7, 2008 at 4:17 PM #

    Black Thirteen – Before I approve any more of your comments, please tell me why you come to this blog.

  19. Rebecca July 7, 2008 at 5:53 PM #

    Here’s a thought–what if cases that came up before judge and jury were kept out of any media spotlight until the case in question was either closed or dismissed? It is neither right nor fair for either the accuser or the accused to be condemned beforehand. (And yes, I am aware of how often the legal system fails, but it is important to maintain the presumption of innocence until guilt is proven–as it is equally important that the burden of proving one’s innocence is placed upon the defendant…and NOT upon a talk show host.)

  20. belledame222 July 12, 2008 at 5:46 PM #

    “People who have money and status get away with rape, and our culture’s tendency toward idolatry makes certain that athletes have plenty of both.”

    Yup.

  21. Miss Andrist December 5, 2009 at 12:36 AM #

    Men rape.

    Not all men rape. But 99.999% of forcible rapes are committed by men.

    Men rape.

    Don’t like it? Stop raping people. Not a rapist? Stop rapists. If women could stop rape, we probably would have by now, genius. So stop excusing yourself from responsibility by insisting that your life isn’t saturated with bad guys. Get up off your lazy keister and stop them or acknowledge that your inaction is their permission to do what they do. Stop crying to us about your right to not have your poor, poor feelings trampled on.

    I will start defending mens’ rights when men need me to.

  22. Imaginary December 15, 2009 at 11:09 PM #

    I know this is late, and I’ve posted a few comment on here already, but the link you posted, 9-D had me literally screaming at my computer. Those fuckers who rape need to have their cocks chopped up in a salad and force fed to them. GRRRRR!

    To the victims/survivors of these terrible, terrible assaults, all of us here support you. We love you! Mwah!

  23. actuallyihatechocolate January 15, 2010 at 2:08 AM #

    I was just wondering if there were sources you could site that addressed Bryant’s rape of women in other countries. I mentioned this in conversation to a friend and realized I had no evidence of its truth. Thank you!

    • Nine Deuce January 15, 2010 at 2:30 AM #

      It’s actually a personal source. I can’t really explain the details here.

  24. kristina January 25, 2010 at 4:30 AM #

    Miss Andrist.. VERY well said!!! That is what the point is, and what I try to explain to men that whine about…”oh but I’m a good guy.” Really??? are you??? what are you doing to stop misogynistic behavior??? nothing… right… thought so.. If you’re not solving the problem, you’re part of it..something my uncle taught me.

  25. isme January 25, 2010 at 12:18 PM #

    I don’t know about that. Surely the responsibility falls squarely on the perpetrator, and nobody else? Otherwise, aren’t we going to end up back on victim-blaming?

  26. Laurelin January 25, 2010 at 3:42 PM #

    All men have responsibility for ending rape.

    http://www.nostatusquo.com/ACLU/dworkin/WarZoneChaptIIIE.html

    (to the haters: Yes, it’s Andrea Dworkin. Deal with it. Here’s a suggestion: try and read the whole thing without making some disrespectful and tasteless ‘joke’. Survivors must be heard)

  27. Hecate March 25, 2010 at 5:30 PM #

    I actually think that men get off on violence. That’s why it seems ridiculous to me for anyone to say that rape is never about sex. War and rape are pretty much what men seem to live for, and that’s been the case for millennia. If you don’t believe this, ask a man if he thinks there will ever be an end to war/ rape/ porn. They’ll always come up with an excuse as to the so-called ‘necessity’ of these evils, and that’s a fact.

    I think men should at least entertain me and place landmines in their stupid waste-of-space football fields. I mean hey, there’s always been a parallel between war and sports, so they should just go for maximum injury. Yippie kay yay! Stupid jocks. Ick. And maybe the basketballers could have a ticking time bomb in the ball, so we can get a fun surprise or take bets as to whose face it’ll blow up in. I know you men just love explosions! Go for it. Blow yourselves up… please.

  28. joy March 25, 2010 at 8:44 PM #

    Hecate, that is such a beautiful idea.

  29. wiggles March 27, 2010 at 12:17 AM #

    Recently, on the internet, I was led to the lyrics for STP’s “Sex Type Thing,” which is supposed to be an illustration of the mentality of a rapist. But the lyrics were all about how the rapist supposes that his victim is really horny and being coy about it. Similar to the assumptions Humbert Humbert makes about Dolores Hayes (aka “Lolita”). It’s occurred to me that this is a fallacy that a lot of people believe about rapists. That they delude themselves that their victims really want it. If one can bring oneself to consider the mentality of a person who would sexually penetrate an unconscious or semi-conscious person, or a child, or a person on whom they have to use physical force, I think it’s pretty clear that rapists know full well what a lack of consent looks like and they get off on it. That’s the whole appeal.
    And Hecate, I think those guys who make those excuses about how rape can’t be stopped make these excuses because – at least on some level – they want to keep the threat of rape on the table. Even the “good” guys. Because rape and the threat of rape limits women’s freedom and keeps them oppressed, which preserves and reinforces male privilege. That’s why women are held responsible for avoiding rape and why it’s ever so offensive to assert that men should stop raping people.

  30. munkie June 13, 2010 at 8:41 PM #

    “Because rape and the threat of rape limits women’s freedom and keeps them oppressed, which preserves and reinforces male privilege. That’s why women are held responsible for avoiding rape and why it’s ever so offensive to assert that men should stop raping people.”

    I get this feeling too. It seems so urgent to me that we end the rape culture. But regular “good” guys don’t give half-a-shit more than they need to to prove they’re “politically correct.” Like they “don’t want to hear about it” or they’ll agree with you just to get you to shut up. If I bring up wage inequity I get the same reaction, because the oppression is “good” for men.

  31. Miss Andrist June 14, 2010 at 3:52 AM #

    @Laurelin:

    Just noticed your comment linking to Andrea Dworkin and have to remark, if Twisty Faster weren’t already Andrea Dworkin’s somewhat more colorful little sister, Nine Deuce would be. I thought that was common knowledge. Yeah, so there are no Dworkin-haters here (the haters that show up couldn’t name a radical feminist author to hate on one, amiright?) If Dworkin isn’t the mother of radical feminism, then she is its patron saint. Can I get an amen.

    And re: people who invoke misogynistic hate speech in the form of jokes:

    http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/08/terrible-bargain-we-have-regretfully.html

    A favorite of mine (and many others, I’m sure.)

    -Miss Andrist

  32. Realist September 22, 2010 at 5:33 PM #

    ” personally don’t give a fuck, flying or not, about whether this woman’s story is true. What I do care about is the fact that these assholes on this radio program, one of whom was female (I just learned what “kapo” means – think I can call her one?), are operating under the assumption that the accusation is false”

    Just to let you know, according to our justice system, that’s what you’re supposed to do. It’s called being innocent until proven guilty. Don’t get me wrong, rape is never okay, athlete or not. However, I think that it’s equally as bad for an innocent person to be convicted, than for a guilty person to be acquitted.

  33. kristina September 23, 2010 at 8:14 PM #

    Innocent until proven guilty has a different dynamic in a rape case..rape doesn’t always have to be violent (as in visible marks or bruises), and when most people are working under the assumption that “sex” is ALWAYS pleasurable it then becomes that the victim is accusing the perpetrator falsely, which changes the entire dynamic of the case, namely that the accuser is guilty until proven innocent..I would hardly call that logical.

  34. Fede September 24, 2010 at 12:35 PM #

    Realist,

    Why is the onus on the woman to prove that she did not consent?
    Because it is the default assumption that women are in a state of consent, that’s why.
    This assumption is not sound, and not necessary in order to preserve the assumption of innocence.
    Also, your tone is condescending.

  35. kristina September 24, 2010 at 3:21 PM #

    I like the way you said it Fede…still both our answers compliment each other…

  36. Fede September 24, 2010 at 6:32 PM #

    Indeed, kristina. I completely agree with how you said it also. Just wanted to weigh in against the ‘realist’, here ;)

  37. elkballet September 26, 2010 at 9:33 AM #

    I recently overheard some frat boy talking about how ridiculous it was that some girl was complaining about being raped at a party and said, no joke, “why do they always seem so surprised and fucking whiny? I mean those bitches should know by now that if they come to our parties, they’re gonna get raped.” Then they spent the next few minutes talking about that “dumb slut” who is so whiny. It seemed pretty clear that even they knew she had been raped. They weren’t even trying to say it was fake, they knew it wasn’t. The issue wasn’t whether she was making it up, it was that she was making a big deal over nothing and should just stfu. Obviously it was her fault for coming to a party where I was told that “the rumors about not drinking the punch are true” and where they tell you not to wear provocative clothing (to not upset the animals). Even the women were putting 100% of the blame on the victim, who dropped out of school after the incident.
    I also had a friend who was raped by one of her best friends and she had the courage to report the incident. All her female friends refused to talk to her, and she received death threats (as well as her family) and there were people threatening to rape her again to “teach the whore a lesson.” Obviously the solution to being raped is…more rape! She also had to switch schools (this was in high school).
    You know how in South Africa around half of women get raped and it’s such a problem that they invented vaginal sleeves with teeth to deter rapists? I’m pretty convinced that’s where we’re heading.

  38. Hecate September 26, 2010 at 3:28 PM #

    I suggest that rapists watch the film ‘Teeth,’ which seems the only logical way for women to go in an evolutionary sense :) Happy viewing, creeps!

  39. Hecate September 26, 2010 at 3:33 PM #

    And thanks Joy and wiggles! I just missed your comments to my post about blowing men up in their beloved football fields. Field of dreams, indeed :)

  40. Hecate September 26, 2010 at 5:44 PM #

    Another film into the insight of the biggest mistake that ever was… XY :)

    Deadgirl (2008)

    Yes, most men would do the same thing in that situation, and yes we should be concerned about it. It is very unfortunate indeed that we can’t just kill them all.

  41. elkballet September 27, 2010 at 9:28 AM #

    I know it’s not quite along the same lines, but another movie about rape that kind of just missed the point? The Accused.

    The movie itself had the point, but you know something is wrong with the world when there’s a movie clip on youtube called “HOT Jodie Foster rape scene SEXY!!!”

    Yes, teeth should be shown in schools now and they should distribute the protective condoms with it. ha!

  42. joy September 27, 2010 at 10:48 AM #

    “Field of dreams, indeed :)”

    LOLOLOL!

  43. Hecate September 27, 2010 at 11:30 AM #

    Yes they should Elkballet! The whole rationale behind showing graphic rape in film is always interesting (read suspect). I tend to get the paternalistic explanation every time – that we MUST have that dose of reality in a movie for it to count. Rape does happen in real life young lady! Uh… yeah. Oh I didn’t know that Dad! Now I’m gonna go cry in a corner. Not!

    I think if we had more threatening female characters in film, like the wonderful Ms. Chastain in ‘Misery,’ it would have a similar psychological effect on men; namely that you cannot underestimate ANYONE. Ever! Man, woman, cat… whatever. Life is not so predictable as ‘man drags woman to cave by the hair.’ Grunt grunt. We’re all more complex than that and it’s time film and media gave humans, and especially women, more credit.

  44. Hecate September 27, 2010 at 11:35 AM #

    Oops, correction to my last post. I meant Annie Wilkes of course! Been a while since I’ve seen Kathy Bates’ amazing performance :)

  45. kristina September 27, 2010 at 3:59 PM #

    Hard Candy…best movie EVER!!! My husband said it should be required for every male on the planet!!! HA HA!!! It’s more about pedophiles…but still awesome!

  46. Hecate September 28, 2010 at 12:12 AM #

    Yeah I love Hard Candy :) It made me think we should have a program in place to raise girls as sharp and aware as Ellen Page’s character.

  47. gracemargaret March 9, 2011 at 6:18 PM #

    Somebody please just shoot me now, another poor rapists article courtesy of the New York Times (trigger warning):

    http://motherjones.com/rights-stuff/2011/03/new-york-times-texas-rape

    I saw Hard Candy a few months ago, what an excellent movie. This NYT writer should watch it about 50 times, along with whatever editor let this story get printed.

  48. Jane March 10, 2011 at 6:46 PM #

    [see top two replies] Look you know I am sorry for the angry language, I know the terms are yes, misogynist…I also know the internalization’s, that these women yes do have,

    as Radical Feminist I am yes aware of all this….

    but I often am Torn because I also know what it IS to grow up and endure abuse at the hands of not just Men but Women [including in my own family] who are Just as evil and misogynist and racist/class prejudice,

    and I’m sorry, I just Don’t have the empathy or Patience, that many feminists Do have for them–maybe because I know what it IS to be on the Receiving END of this poison,

    so Yea sometimes I use that biatch language…now it’s not PC for the consciousness, know it’s not healthy to the sacred feminine, and Yes I do wrestle and Deal with this turmoil, a lot, those inner demons,

    but I’m to the point in my old age that Hiding the rage, and What I know, is doing More to aid in the protecting of these evils, than to Expose them,

    meanwhile I struggle with dealing with my OWN shortcomings and yes, evils,

    double edged sword you know, it works both ways. Someone mentioned that I write in unusual style, well yea, I have had to work out a lot of rage/anger, you see the first sexual violation I endured as small child was from my own Mother,

    a woman who Hated femininity, who Hated women, who was in every way like a man–why I kind of hesitate on the whole forced ‘de=gender’ thing’,

    and yes she was a Victim of patriarchy, but she was also a Perpetrator of occult/cult abuse, my Nana was as well–it’s generational,

    to me it’s about Abuse of POWER, Just as much as Patriarchy, that BOTH need to be deconstructed and ripped apart and brought into the light,

    so yes, I see the patriarchal male violence and male entitlements and the Influence and Constructs of all those,

    I also see other influences that I can’t put my finger on all of them, but having been on the receiving side, I KNOW they are there,

    there is Something about the power dynamic and the kinetic energy that feeds off of violence and fear, that Both men and women are capable of that I believe go Beyond the gender constructs,

    and we see those in race and class oppression, Religion protects these a hell of a lot–

    so, anyway, Forgive me, if my language offends any here–but these things Need to be brought out, this isn’t just about 18 men gang raping this girl, IT is, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not just about Evil men,

    this is about evil men AND women in Cultures that are not just conducive to these crimes but they FEED off of them and they CREATE them, like mob type of violence, and it IS a mental disease, and the Scary thing is,

    it is Spreading, even Liberals, I am seeing are getting this type of mental thinking, this indifference to suffering–or excusing the most Atrocious violence, especially against women and children,

    and it’s the kinetic Reptilian [yea I believe in them] spiritual feeding off of the victimization, Deliberate, of the weak, good, pure,

    and Yes, when we not only see it but are victims of, such as myself, WE too, are contaminated–I struggle with overcoming the rage/violence I feel Inside all the time–that balancing the inner wheel–how to Overcome, without being Overcome by it,

    but I learned, denying and/or indifference or isolated blame does more to hide the darkness and assist in the feeding–This is what I want to break,

    and the only way I know to do that is to do so in Truth–even if, that Truth, is sometimes unpleasant, even if, there is that dark evil that is also–touching it,

    to know evil, you don’t come out of it the same–I wish I could go back to the innocence of childhood [the abuse got way worse after six years of age--because the town protected it, via more religion] but anyway, I remember some of the good, mostly my time spent outdoors in Nature, why I love HER so much, SHE is what saved me from becoming totally absorbed into the dark vortex,

    saved a remnant of my soul that is–but it’s taken years and working out through a lot of rage–even rage yes at feminists [relativists that is],

    but I know, just reading that article about Cleveland, even seeing that photo, I could FEEL it–and the HORRIFIC thing is, these Towns DO exist, and they are Protected, those movies, with those evil towns, those Do exist–

    and like the BDSM culture, you’re touching on things that defy explanation, that feminist theory alone simply doesn’t touch all there is,

    so That is why, yea, as potty mouth I can be sometimes, I do say it like it is–I feel terrible often at times after words, don’t think I don’t,

    I do,

    but I know these types, and you know when you Meet and know Intimately these kinds of women, it’s just hard to keep that ‘it’s only men’ and though Yes it IS, to a large extent,

    those men, grew up, being taught and Re-enforced that those ‘others’, ‘those girls’, are just trash, etc.,

    I grew up being trash, being labeled a dog, by the sick family, and the town I was stuck in–and It stays with you for Life, having to battle those internalization’s,

    and some of the Worst offenders I knew, yes were women like this Sheila person, who Yes, they will protect and defend these men while they spit at the girl,

    and it’s NOT because they don’t know better, they Do,

    many of them, simply just flat out don’t CARE.

    That’s an Evil, that I can’t explain, I think this is where it has a lot to do with the pollution of entitlements, of class and race,

    Jane

  49. Jane March 10, 2011 at 6:46 PM #

    So you know, not that it really matters, well maybe it does, because I think there IS a strong connection somewhere, Politically behind the scenes,

    I was born in D.C., [father's family Works for government, all of them], my mother’s side, was into crime [grand-dad bookie and I found out after research, he did his deals with Senators back in the day [40s, 50s], Uncles [great] also into that whole scene, most of them moved to north CA, anyway, all tied into secret society/religion too–

    well Nana and Mother moved us to this small big ole Mason-politically Baptist KKK town in TX–when I was six,

    at 14 lived in Catholic orphanage, more of the same for year and then at 16 ran away…Anyhow,

    yea it’s All connected, why I bring it up, it’s not just in some odd case here and there, it’s not just even Culture,

    it’s the Power machinery behind it, and it operates in churches, in polemic, in Commerce, it’s all in bed together, and it IS sinister like no other,

    Molech, that’s what it is, Molech, and they sacrifice children all the damn time–either by Deliberate, by the PTB in on it [what some call Illuminati, YES it's real], or

    by creating the Mental illness-conditions through institutionalized social engineering that feeds the beast,

    and risking sounding crazy, this IS why, it has to be brought INTO The light

    it will Never end, until it is. BTW, yes, I got run out of that small town, if you Don’t assimilate into that mindset they make your life miserable,

    the same things Yes happen in the urban cities, Granted, but it’s in those rural areas, that you really see just how Politically controlled they are–how Corrupt, and sinister,

    and it’s Old Money, but it’s not Old Money sitting there alone in it’s power ivory fortress, oh no, it’s channel caves All the way to the Big Boys Club,

    Jane

    Jane

  50. Jane March 10, 2011 at 6:46 PM #

    I’m going to really go off on this, forgive my language OK,

    one, this is the Typical kind of SHIT garbage you find in numerous Bible Belt Thumping Rape Loving RA occults in CHURCHES in the Texas South–I know, where I grew up,

    and many of these white racist fucking Stupid ass women, sorry, I know it plays into misogyny, are Just as deplorable as the Raping pieces of shit themselves…this kind of shit happens All the damn time in towns, in Texas,

    we just don’t Hear about it. The Chambers of Commerce and the Pastors and the 100 churches [like the demon infested shit town I grew up in] with their Mason filth and corrupt Police/Sheriffs, PROTECT RAPE SCUM all the damn time,

    it’s CLASS, just as much as RACISM. Guarantee you this girl was Poor…and the good ole church bitches [sorry I know, that plays into misogyny too But trust me, I know them, they are just as Disgusting as the sorry pieces of shit MEN they worship] will wring their hands, go “Oh this is just so terrible BUT that girl, why you know her mother this and she wore this and well you know blah blah blah”,

    and that IS how they are, these kinds of people, you think the BDSM folks are bad, these twisted Sick mentally disturbed WORSE THAN DOGS are worse,

    because they Do this shit in the veneer of Jebus [I won't insult Jesus using his name with these types],

    they’ll Protect MEN who rape their own daughters, I am NOT kidding, the mentality of these folks is just Unreal,

    I can Relate, not in Identical way no but in Many ways, to the RAGE that African Americans and Latinos feel about the South, Texas in particular, because they ARE that EVIL,

    it’s not just ‘these men’, oh no, it’s the WHOLE DAMN TOWN, mark my words on this one…that Sheila woman is Atypical of the Attitudes and deeply embedded belief system of these people,

    it’s hard for people who Don’t live in such areas to wrap their minds around this kind of shit–try growing up with it, churches that sexually abuse children and the WHOLE DAMN TOWN is in on it–Wife swapping parties as if it’s nothing then Church on Sunday, Praise Jebus

    it’s just sick…why I confront theocracy with the vengeance that I do, they are the Added filth layer to the patriarchal-misogynist culture with that lovely mask of Bathory Drama Blood drinking gor,

    that girl was soul butchered, the ‘possibly intimate issues’ NO, ASSURED, she is as good as Dead,

    and the Horrible thing is, these maggot dicks will not even do much time for this CRIME,

    I say, Boycott this town, let them starve out…and towns like them, because they Aren’t going to change, they are Diseased, seriously, the only Cure is them to be burned OUT of existence,

    it would be One thing if it was just a rare case, an anomaly, of a group of evil men, but NO, these men ARE the face and bi-product of these types of communities, they are Raised with this garbage, this entitlement, this attitude that some people are subhuman and their value of life means nothing,

    and the Tragic thing is, what is hard for many to really grasp, is that the women of these types of towns, Feed into this just as much as the men do,

    those few who DARE to stand up in these towns, are run out like the plague, IF they aren’t beaten to death, starved out, raped out, even Killed out.

    So to Sheila, you and your ilk, I have one thing to say,

    you and your kind Raped this girl Just as much as those boys did, this IS what your community is, All of you–your comments of ‘sympathy’ for these asswipes, proves such,

    Typical–and Disgusting.

    This is WHAT happens and WILL happen when Religion, any kind, with their Patriarchal dick phallic worship, gets Rule of law or power over communities, Christian, Islam, Jewish, etc., don’t matter, THIS is what you get,

    backwards ass B.C. garbage, they Stone these victims psychology or with rocks–same damn thing,

    while they put these raping shits on a pedestal,

    and NYT, just put the damn Southern Flag on your sorry ass paper and Be done with it…

    ok end of Vent, well here for now, I understand if you don’t allow it–but I say it, from the Heart–the rage and anger, Because living in the midwest [City] now, I truly see that many people, just don’t Grasp,

    the Dangers, of patriarchal Religions, getting Power of Any kind, influence, etc., under religious laws or dominion cults, etc., this is why Cultural Relativism IS death to feminism, women,

    and children.

    As far as I’m concerned, these men and their supporting pathetic parrot women, need to be Vulture food–but then, I wouldn’t really want that,

    because I wouldn’t want the Vultures to be Poisoned with their toxin.

    sad you know

    Jane

  51. Jane March 11, 2011 at 12:34 PM #

    see above, Watch the entire series, Brigade 1 – 7, etc., this will Empower you,

    as well as Inspire,

    I am ready, to begin a similar gang here, wearing Pink, thinking of a flower, maybe pink with purple or yellow, to represent a Powerful flower that has poison, [ha, my idea from God no less]

    Pink Foxgloves or something, still thinking on this–

    working to form women refuges [cities even], survivor techniques of the Ancient women, living off the land, Yes, I watch survivor man and man verses wild, [Discovery Channel] Why aren’t Women learning these things? Learning Fair Trade,

    why is it that Women learn these things After wars and gang rapes, why not Before? Oh, that’s right, our modern society doesn’t allow it,

    they allow technical porn however and strap on machines and surgeries that maim and cut us,

    I like what she says, Submission is a Cancer, and paper, simply doesn’t cut it.

    Asister to that! Door to Door she says, does it Take, this level of status, for women with nothing to lose to rise up?

    Jane

  52. Jane March 11, 2011 at 12:34 PM #

    I got into a huge debate yesterday on GLP with a couple of men, over several topics concerning Women’s human rights, and as usual, I was banned, for objecting to Porn and Rape Culture. This is usual for GLP boards, one can spew hate speech, religion, philosophy of all brands, just Don’t slam rape culture or porn,

    a man from Germany said, shut up with your feminist crap, when I brought up Andrea Dworking and then, my isp was banned. He of course, took a segment of something Dworkin said, about a man with a high heel pump in his mouth, making it look as if women want to kill off men, before they banned me.

    I bring this up because this is typical Warfare to Silence women, on issue of male violence, as well as to distract from the issues and make it appear that women who do not bow to the Male Status Quo are deviant psychotics. I’m use to this, GLP is a noted Tavisstock corp that has ties to CIA, Military, Psychiatric Engineering [UK] and Porn.

    I’ve been struggling with the issue of women, self defense and violence and the internalization’s of world violence towards the female gender into one’s own female psyche In contrast to, the female species in animal and biological nature that does not hesitate to use violence not only for self defense but to stake territory as well as Defend that territory…

    why is it, that Women human species, on the other hand, balk at even the thought at violence or retaliation against Directed and Deliberate violence against their bodies, persons, minds and female community? Yet, in turn, feel no gumption about diverting violence against other females OR against their own persons OR for the brotherhood of nation, state, race, religion, ideology?

    The yet Another gang rape of a young child or woman in TX left me to further question how our tactics have failed, across the board. Being targeted victims of violence and knowing intimately what violence does we as women, generally speaking, tend to shy away from even the hint of thought on violence–even expressing anger or rage,

    we can feel strong cognitive dissonance and guilt over these normal human emotions. So I began to ask, when did women learn the guilt of anger, rage and self preservation? Nature does not share this same psychology and we don’t demonize nature, for her unleashing her Power onto humans, in fact, we tend to Respect her. It isn’t that we aren’t Horrified by the unleashing of Nature’s fury, we are, Nature is no respecter of persons, when she is ready to blow she blows…she is also Extremely patient, taking years of abuse and pillaging before she finally just let’s one loose. Geologically speaking that is,

    in light of the massive earthquake and tsunami in Japan, one in which we knew one day Would come, though no amount of preparations can prepare us for the shock and sadness we feel to see thousands suffer, lose homes, lose loved ones,

    yet, we don’t see the condemnation towards Nature when these geological events happen, NOR do we see the condemnation towards female animals in nature when they hunt, attack even IF not provoked,

    it’s ONLY when Human Women, suggest a boycott against a community that has Publicly showed apologetic tendencies towards men who gang rape, that she is accused of being a vigilante, or when a woman suggests the Possibility that it may very well Take violence, to End the century long normalized and accepted male violence towards women.

    Something, is wrong, with this thinking, but worse, something is broken Inside of women to think that self preservation is a luxury not rightfully a Right to Women, that should only be under the umbrella of male and social approval. This is not an understatement, our prisons are Full of women, who have finally snapped and used violence in Self Defense. They are punished as if their human instinct to self per serve is somehow of the demonic, wrong, abnormal. Where did This come from, this idea that women are to be by nature accepting of their own death at the hands of another, Particularly a Male?

    It comes from ancient laws, religious laws, back in B.C., that punished women for taking matters into their own hands in cultures that unleashed violence towards women simply for Being female. Not only that, the crimes that MEN did, the punishments were metered OUT to the females and children, not to the man, women were sold into debt slavery, rape slavery, raped, tortured, burned as sacrifices along with children for the most minute crimes of Men. Men were spared, women’s bodies were not. Women were the first Atoning Saviors….and continue to be so, after all, it was convenience, a Woman’s life obviously, if you read the ancient laws, was worth half of that to a man’s, In some ancient laws, her life had Zero value, animals had far more value.

    One would Think we would have bi-passed this by now but no, we have not, instead we have women still worshiping the very male gawd phallic who insists that his by divine ordination is superior to her, has right to own and violate her, strip and fragment her soul, even erase her from eternal existence, or allow her to live eternally in some religious beliefs IF her Lord Husband allows her too, of course the door to Heaven is through service to his penis.

    The mentioned is not a joke, this is actually a real belief in several religions. Yesterday, I wrestled with God on this…I felt the anger rise and rise and pondered the possibility of what it would Be like, to actually be a Witch with the power to zap men out of existence, to wage war on the gods for all the shit that women have had to endure,

    and it dawned on me, that IF witches of old, as the OT says, had of been the Real Threat they were labeled to have been, then why in the hell did MEN and Male gawd’s and systems, have So much power to destroy thousands of women through out Each and Every generation? Where was all this power of the witch? Where? Where? Where?

    I also find it odd that while witches were condemned [did they truly exist in the way they were coined OR was this simply a ridiculous means of demonizing women by men as excuse to rid of them when they so felt like it], Sorcerer’s, who were MEN, were not, in fact, sorcerer’s are mentioned through out all the ancient societies as well as the OT.

    It makes one wonder, if gawd is simply the Mind of Man. The mind of Prejudice Man, against Females.

    Lions were hunted for sport in the ancient Mesopotamian region, in high numbers, they were horribly tortured. They were depicted in images with so called gods and kings, to show their Power likeness, of Men of course,

    yet we know that it’s the female lions who are the hunters of the pride, the male lions are simply too large and clumsy and do not make good hunters. It is the Female lions who are the fierce. It makes one wonder, if primitive men were threatened by what they saw to be the Female Power and Violence in Nature, and therefore, being intimidated by their own weakness and insecurity, their fear of female Power onto the Female.

    Over time, through conditioning, females began to feel guilt over this power, and now, we have females, across the board, when one mentions that men who rape should be retaliated against, by a female body,

    they balk. NO! WE can’t resort to that, never! So we whine, we complain, we plead, we beg, we blame, we point out, we write…and the male violence increase towards women. It is more and more my belief that male violence towards women has a Lot to do with one fact,

    ‘they do it because they can’.

    I have wondered about this, over the years, and while I am not Advocating females resorting to being thuggish or violent as a preferred behavior trait, not at all, I do have to ponder, how human natural defensive violence, in the female species, has been perverted and turned rather towards herself rather than towards the one external force that is threatening her very existence?

    In observing cats, I’ve noticed that it’s the females who are the most vicious in protecting their space, not the males. The males are territorial when looking to mate, but it is the females, who own their territory, their space, protect the young, even each other and Even other males. I have a few parrots in our family, in the majority of parrot species, it is the Females, who are the most aggressive. They simply don’t take any shit from the male species,

    nature has provided defense mechanisms in every female species, it’s only Women, humans,

    who have relinquished them because they were Forced to, To survive,

    questions are however, how do we tap into the Instinctual power of defense that Nature did give us? And when,

    do we begin to use it?

    I am closing with a link to a video, Why we don’t have more of this, I simply do not know–but I am seriously beginning to think, this IS what it will take, to truly, emancipate women, not just from male violence, but from the female guilt, of being human, and the need to self preservation as a result of.

    What that 11 year old girl, should have had, a sisterhood, of protection…

    Jane

  53. Alina March 13, 2011 at 11:03 AM #

    @ Jane I have read your comment and I am highly fascinated by your input!!!

    And yes I agree that we women conform ourselfs to the world and to men,this is why so many women get treatened unfairly in relationships and endure so much. I do believe that it’s like that mostly because of religion the indoctrination of female submission to be a good human. Women who are born in religious households not neceserally christian (because most religions paint women out to be second class citizens)are being told or pereceive, that from the very beginning of their lifes that men have the say god is a man, most presidents are men and men rule etc… unfortunattely to this day too many women never question this beliefs, never question the unfairness of it all. Religion is truly dangerous.

    The question that you allready asked is why do we tolerate this shit and for so long!?!?My only answer is that for too long most women dont even KNOW that they are treated SHIT. think about it for all they know all the women in their social enviroment are treated similar, so you are not gonna always find a REBELL who questions it all.

    As to what you pointed out that we are made out to be some psychotics because of our feminist beliefs, yeah I experience that alot myself and I hate it most when women themselfs talk against feminism and attack me. I guess some men do it because indeed they are feeling more and more threatened and closed in they sense its only a matter of time since god forbidd we are all equal.

    As to how women even ended up in this situation where we are the “Weak Gender” its because we are smaller built then men, they are phisically more stronger then us, so we have been in this submissive position since ancient times.

    Even knowing all this and being a feminist, like many of you I actually have sometimes a hard time living as 1 it is so easy to betray your feminist beliefs and ideas in this men ruling society, its atleast a small fight everyday.

  54. isme March 14, 2011 at 6:19 AM #

    ” I guess some men do it because indeed they are feeling more and more threatened and closed in they sense its only a matter of time since god forbidd we are all equal.”

    I’m not sure that’s the case, personally, or at least for the majority of them.

    I agree when you say women often don’t realise they are being treated badly, because society says they aren’t, but I’d also extend that to saying that men generally don’t realise they are treating women badly for the same reasons.

    Not that I’m trying to defend men’s actions here, refusing to see the blindingly obvious because it would make you uncomfortable is no excuse. But the utter conviction MRAs and similar types show is staggering. IMHO, it seems that the most vocal opponents of feminism aren’t those who hate or fear it, but those who dismiss it as trivial or misguided, something too ludicrous to be even worth hatred.

  55. gracemargaret April 26, 2011 at 4:45 PM #

    On the Huffington Post most commenters on the article about the 11-year-old girl condemned the people in TX for excusing the rapists and for blaming the child for ‘dressing like a 20 year old’, but for some reason some male posters (and even a few female ones) started a discussion on how we should lower the age of consent and how arbitrary age of consent laws are. How they went from this horrific rape of a child to that topic is bizzare (well, not really). I think it should be raised to 21 personally. I’ve heard men say that 14 is the ideal age for sex with adult men because that’s when a ‘woman’ is most fertile (’cause you know they totally want the girl to get pregnant).

    I remember being 14 and just because my body was developing and I had my period I was NOT ready for sex at all. I was very trusting and believed in True Love and romance and was also starved for affection from my parents, so I can see why men want to have access to girls that age, they are so much easier to manipulate and it’s SO much easier to use her innocence against her. People always told me I looked younger than my age when I was a teenager, but that didn’t stop older men from hitting on me. It’s not like they mistakenly thought I was 18.

    Thank goodness for the age of consent laws or these guys would probably never have left me alone or taken no for an answer. And then young girls would have the burden of trying to prove consent. Like it’s not hard enough for those of us over 18. Men are becoming more and more vocal about changing these laws and also about things like polygamy (see “Sister Wives”, a reality show about a dude married to a bunch of women and how awesome it is. Forget that these women were raised in the Mormon Church and were brainwashed from childhood that it is the will of GOD that they submit to polygamous marriages. It’s totally their choice!)

    I agree Jane, women should learn from their fellow female mammals like the lioness. The idea that only men could possibly have been the hunters in prehistoric times and that giving birth and childcare precludes women from going out and bringing home the bacon even in modern times is completely ridiculous. That doesn’t exist for any other female in the animal kingdom. A lioness can give birth and breastfeed and still go out and hunt and kill to feed her family.

    Women have been declawed and defanged by patriarchy. Femininity and being a ‘homemaker’ and full-time mommy for your entire adult life is as natural to femaleness as being a piece of veal is to being a cow.

  56. lizor April 26, 2011 at 6:20 PM #

    Oh Gracemargaret, yet another awesome post.

    “Femininity and being a ‘homemaker’ and full-time mommy for your entire adult life is as natural to femaleness as being a piece of veal is to being a cow.”

    Thanks. I’m hanging on to that one.

  57. Murasaki May 26, 2011 at 7:14 PM #

    I cant sit and read through all the rest of these comments cos I got things to do – DVDs due back tommorow LOL.

    We have this same shithouse footy rape culture in Australia. Footy (rugby and Australian Rules) players are hot shit. If you can bag one you also attain hot status. You can be a WAG (wives and girlfriends) and get to be on a reality tv show – spend your life shopping and be on the cover of magazines. Once you get a “ring on it” – youre made!

    If you get raped by a footy player though its your own damn fault cos you should have known “duh, he’s a football player” and if you get gang-raped by the whole team – its even more your fault cos if you agreed to one you cant say no to the rest. Basically if a woman drinks alcohol, leaves her home after 8pm and goes within 10m of a footy player – she’s gaggin for it!

    Even WOMEN tv commentators will refer to you as a “stray” if you come forward and no-one seems to think theres anything too strange if youre only 17 – youre just a young slut. And its your parents fault you got raped.

    Oh Nine Deuce Aussie footy culture would make your head EXPLODE! Its mega racist too. Yeeee-haaawww!

  58. Jane May 30, 2011 at 12:37 PM #

    Gracemargeret, and all others

    been away for a while, going back through the RA and my family ancestry…religion-ancients, including a bit about Egypt

    here’s some links to the Chain, Sorcery [mind control] chain, that well–here ya go

    why women’s or better, HOW women’s minds are COLONIZED

    and in the ‘spider web of sorcery’ she is always caught in the spiritual ‘net’ of subjugation, a term btw, used in ancient Rome–which means, to ‘subjugate or force prisoners/slaves under the sword-or roof, etc., which that is the sorcery of DEMONS…this is where the religious word in Greek-Roman Christianese-Islam [Islam means submission] comes from, the Romans would [ancient Greeks and all ancient misogynist-raping societies under gods of war-goddesses of temple prostitutes for the gods-elites, think CHESS], force slaves to crouch down and walk while beaten, carrying loads, etc., to humiliate them and to force their minds into demonic oppression–break their souls in other words

    words are also powers they use–language, etc., subjugation RITUALS are a form of rape, rape to shame, and strip of self soul and will, to make into a PRISONER, in the mind–to do this you demonize them into believing they deserve this, etc., by focusing on their ‘sins’ [which we all do]

    how these ‘crafts’ are done on Women, are done in many subtle ways we don’t notice, like the ‘idols meaning ‘dolls’ that we are molded into, the image of,

    be they clay, marble [the split woman--no mother in those so called goddess cultures, they were whore images--whore-warrior but always focus on SEX--fertility was ONLY TO PRODUCE THE IMAGES OF BRONZE-WAR FOR BLOOD,]

    gold, etc., photography–mirror images MIRROR

    take mirror–into PLASTIC, you have Barbie, the perfect Aryan

    now most feminists know this part–but there is more

    the DOLL IN THE ‘DOLL HOUSE’

    which is her subjugated PRISON, net, walls

    what we are taught and learn through play [and SIMS TODAY is huge sorcery] as children, is a form of mind control

    take that and add that to the MARKETING, MAR-KETING–MAR, GOD OF WAR, ARIES, MARS [one of many examples]

    She, idol, doll, is the doll in the house full of PRODUCTS, that she buys, consumes, products made by SLAVES, FORCED BY BRONZE MEN OF WAR [GODS OF WAR], rape, pillaging, etc., therefore when she doll consumes

    she has BLOOD ON HER HANDS TOO

    then you throw in the house of RA in there, there ya go

    it’s all a big mind trap–we are manipulated at birth–the choices our ancestors make, by making ‘deals’ is passed down

    GUESS WHO THE SACRIFICIAL VICTIMS ARE–TO PAY FOR THE CRIMES-DEALS WITH THE DEVILS ARE?

    WOMEN

    and children

    this is all one big game–and we are the bait [to bait men] as well as the baited,

    question now is, WHO IS THE HOUSE/DEALER?

    gambling–confessionals/religion–government and media [holly-wood, on the hill--city of angels, figure it out]

    GOES ALL THE WAY BACK

    dolls, image dolls, in houses [stage sets], porn [sets], and loaded with BLOOD GOODS

    come buy, the spider said to the fly

    more on this to come

    we are SNARED, and you are right Grace, they use our innocence against us.

    Jane

  59. gracemargaret June 28, 2011 at 4:31 PM #

    I posted this on the IBTP blog, crossposting here:

    Just a matter of time before raped journalist Lara Logan gets blamed for being raped.

    From The Women’s Media Center: “Remember Lara Logan, the CBS reporter who was separated from her crew while covering the revolution in Egypt and brutally raped by a mob of men? When she spoke publicly about her attack, she bravely broke a longstanding silence on the part of female reporters assaulted on the job.

    “But Dan Rottenberg, editor of the online arts magazine Broad Street Review, doesn’t have any sympathy for Logan or outrage on her behalf. Instead, Rottenbert says Lara Logan is to blame for her gang rape because she once showed cleavage at a US award show.

    “Rottenberg’s editor’s letter, published on June 6th, is titled ‘Male Sexual Abuse and Female Naivete,’ six words that from the get-go suggest if women were to act more responsibly, men wouldn’t commit “sex abuse,” i.e rape. The letter is accompanied by a photo of Logan on the red carpet, wearing a v-line neck dress and smiling for the cameras. The caption under the photo reads, “What message was the TV journalist Lara Logan sending here?” (she’s just wearing a dress, there’s no ‘message’ in her clothing – GraceMargaret)

    “Rottenberg goes on, “Earth to liberated women: when you display legs, thighs, or cleavage, some liberated men will see it as a sign you feel good about yourself and your sexuality. But most men will see it as a sign you want to get laid. Forewarned is forearmed.”

    “Rape is not “getting laid” and no one ever, ever does or wears anything that “asks” to be raped. To suggest that Lara Logan’s choice to wear a dress perfectly appropriate for a US awards show sent a message to Egyptian men that she wanted to be raped while doing her job as a foreign correspondent takes rape apologism to new heights.

    “Rottenberg ends his column by blaming a neighbor for her attempted rape and the molestation of her daughter because she cleaned her house in a halter top and shorts.

    “There is nothing redeemable about anything Rottenberg said; he makes excuses and blames the victim multiple times in multiple situations. He has far overstepped the bounds of an editor of a culture magazine and appointed himself arbiter of which rapes are a victim’s fault and which are not. This is unacceptable.”

    “We call on the Publisher and Board of Directors of Broad Street Review to take Mr. Rottenberg’s offensive piece off the site and remove him from his position as editor.”

    Sign the petition HERE: http://www.change.org/petitions/editor-who-blamed-lara-logan-for-her-gang-rape-must-go

    Now would this constitute hate speech, or if not then a form of domestic terrorism? I feel threatened and terrorized when I hear things like this. – Grace

  60. gracemargaret June 28, 2011 at 4:38 PM #

    Cara Blouin decided to write a satirical play about the essay called ‘Dan Rottenberg Is Thinking About Raping You.’ All proceeds from the short play are going to SlutWalk Philadelphia.

    For more on the play: http://articles.philly.com/2011-06-27/news/29708100_1_lara-logan-essay-dan-rottenberg

    An excerpt from the article:

    Scene: “My name is Dan Rottenberg,” the actor said. “I’m here to talk to you about an issue that can be really scary to talk about. That issue is female naivete.”

    The character then presented a series of educational scenes, including an explanation from a scientist (played by Lucas Nguyen) who used a drawing of a well-endowed man to explain that for men, the penis is the dominant organ.

    “Wow,” the Rottenberg character said. “Looking at this, it’s easy to understand why we have no choice but to put it in things and people.”

    Jennifer MacMillan played an audience member who popped up with questions like this: “You’re saying that a man needs to conquer an unwilling sex partner. But I thought my revealing attire meant that I want to be assaulted. How can I truly satisfy men if I’m not truly unwilling? I’m so confused!”

    “Don’t worry,” the Rottenberg character told her. “At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what you want. It matters what men need.”

  61. Hecate June 28, 2011 at 8:15 PM #

    Ah wonderful gracemargaret! Truly, there is no better weapon than satire. There’s a reason that totalitarian states ban the use of it. What monster can keep up its strength when the whole world is laughing at it? There isn’t one.

  62. Isme June 29, 2011 at 8:32 AM #

    “Ah wonderful gracemargaret! Truly, there is no better weapon than satire. There’s a reason that totalitarian states ban the use of it. What monster can keep up its strength when the whole world is laughing at it? There isn’t one.”

    Unfortunately, for satire to work, the audience must be at least somewhat sympathetic to the satirists point of view. This is only going to provoke the usual insane his-teria amongst the people who should stop talking and start listening.

    On the other hand, as a way to reassure people that they aren’t totally alone in thinking that perhaps rapists are more to blame than rape-victims, I’m all for it.

  63. joy June 29, 2011 at 11:44 AM #

    All proceeds go to SLUT WALK?

    That’s satire, correct?

  64. gracemargaret June 29, 2011 at 10:55 PM #

    Joy. It’s not satire. Going to SlutWalk Philadelphia. Sounds like it but no.

  65. sneeky bunny June 30, 2011 at 2:31 PM #

    Joy, we the marchers and organizers of Slut Walk didn’t pull the name out of thin air. This all started in reaction to a Canadian police officer advising a group of university women that to protect themselves from rape they shouldn’t dress like sluts he said that in January of this year. People get hung up on the word slut. That the use of the word makes people, in my opinion, uncomfortable is good. Is it culturally loaded and provocative? Yes. Will it always be? No, because it is such a fungible word. It is currently undergoing the same metamorphosis that queer did. Slut in its derogatory sense is used against women for being sexually active, but being a sexually active woman is in actual fact awesome.
    The attitude that most clearly describes the spirit of Slut Walk, the umbrella that sheltered all of the different women at the march, in all the different ways they chose to express it, is this:
    Rape Is Always The Rapist’s Fault.
    It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, or where you are, or how much you have had to drink, or what time of day it is, or if you know your attacker, or who you are, or what you do for a living.
    Rape Is Always The Rapist’s Fault.
    I think we can all agree on that.

  66. Isme July 1, 2011 at 6:36 AM #

    “The attitude that most clearly describes the spirit of Slut Walk, the umbrella that sheltered all of the different women at the march, in all the different ways they chose to express it, is this:
    Rape Is Always The Rapist’s Fault.”

    Though that may have been the original intent of the idea (and, of course, it’s a good one), there have been alot of concerns raised about it’s implementation which makes me uneasy about it, though I don’t want to derail the thread and wiser people have explained the problems elsewhere much better than I could.

  67. elkballet July 1, 2011 at 11:23 AM #

    SlutWalk is just another way to paint feminism as non-threatening and dude-friendly. Despite their choice of a gendered term “slut,” they seem to consciously attempt to frame rape as not something that mostly happens to women by men but to humans by humans. This is not a protest to stop rape but to further rape culture in an attempt to seem more sexy to men.

  68. joy July 1, 2011 at 11:26 AM #

    Sneeky, we have a word for “explaining concepts to people who understand them better than you do”. Know what it is?

  69. Hecate July 1, 2011 at 4:09 PM #

    Thanks elkballet, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Funfems can stay in their comfy kindergarten mindset, so long as they understand that being friends with the enemy isn’t going to change a damn thing. If the idea of being anti-revolutionary and regressive is what appeals to them, fine. So long as they stay well away from me!

    The impression I get from ditzy funfems is that they must be living sheltered lives. Either that, or they honestly believe in their pink, sparkly little hearts that oppressive partriarchal phenomena like flashing, catcalling, rape and incest are just ‘cute’ things men do because they can’t help it, and they need a loving mommy figure to rehabilitate them.

    Love can be the answer to some things, sure. But this idea that rapists need loving care and understanding makes me throw up in my mouth a little every time the funfems put it out there. Yeah, dressing up real cute and caressing predators – that’s gonna fix it. If you truly are a funfem, go write a long, scented, pink letter to an inmate. Or bake him a cake and offer yourself up to him! Should be real ‘fun’ for you and him. But seriously, you have no business being here among women who really are genuinely concerned about male violence and women being unsafe both in their homes and on the street as a result of such. And I can’t agree with elkballet more that making sexual violence look like a ‘human rights’ issue just generalizes and obscures a very specific problem. Oh yeah, I forgot! Men are not a problem in the funfem mindset. How silly of me.

  70. sneeky bunny July 1, 2011 at 4:28 PM #

    @Elk Ballet: This was not my experience at all at the Seattle Slut Walk 2 weeks ago. All the speakers were more than clear as to their message. Which is, that it is always the rapists fault. And again, let’s not forget how this all started, and the officer’s claim that dressing like “a slut” puts women at an increased risk of rape. It is to that absurd notion that using the word as a rallying cry speaks.
    One of the speakers opened for the first time, in front of the crowd, the evidence bags containing the clothing she had been wearing at the time of her attack. Another stripped to her pjs on stage, as that had been what she had been wearing. And she made a very good point. She said that she had been raped, and did we want to why? Because a rapist raped her. Another marcher held a sign featuring a school picture of herself above the question: Was My Nightgown Too Short?
    And for the record, there were an awful lot of people there, myself included, wearing recreations of the outfits they had been wearing at the time of their attack. Mostly jeans.
    Were there people, both men and women, marching in their underwear? Yes there were. Is that, and the use of the word Slut provocative? Yes it is. Were many, many conversations started about rape and what causes it and what doesn’t? Yes there were.
    I call that a win.
    I understand that this movement is controversial and that people have their qualms about the use of the word Slut, but again, the controversy has brought attention to the systemic problem of rape in our culture and the myths surrounding it’s cause. All three networks, and all the local papers covered the march in Seattle. Is it the only way to call attention? Of course not. It is, and should be, only one of many.
    In conclusion Elk Ballet, I feel I must also say that characterizing survivors of rape as marching in furtherance of rape culture and to appear more sexy to men is breathtakingly insulting and callous.
    Not cool.

  71. sneeky bunny July 1, 2011 at 4:40 PM #

    Joy, please forgive me if my post seemed patronizing. It was not my intent. I’m sure that all of us here have more experience of rape culture than we could possibly want.
    My personal experience is what motivated me to organize a group, and participate in Slut Walk Seattle. I found it an extremely valuable experience. But again, one size fits all activism does not exist, and I am happy in the knowledge that this issue is being addressed in a variety of ways by all sorts of women.
    Oh ,and I met some local radfems ( they had a booth at the rally) and they were just awesome. :)

  72. gracemargaret July 1, 2011 at 9:20 PM #

    I don’t know much about the “SlutWalks” other than it was a reaction to that Canadian police officer’s comments that SneekyBunny mentioned. I think the intention is good but it’s a shame that an anti-rape rally won’t get the same media coverage as a “slutwalk”. After reading Dan Rottenberg’s statements that women are being naive if they think a man won’t assume wearing a v-neck gown to an awards dinner is a ‘message’ that you want to ‘get laid’ by any Tom, Dick or Harry or mob of men in Egypt, I wonder how effective they will be. Men who don’t want to know won’t be moved by these walks. They will cling to their victim-blaming illogical to the death. They’ll most likely just think it’s acceptable to call women sluts now (hey, they call *themselves* sluts!) and nothing will change.

  73. Hecate July 2, 2011 at 12:55 AM #

    A letter I actually had to write recently to the transportation authority in my city. And no, I did not feel they were more of a threat because of their color, just to make that clear. The man who did the most damage to me where violence is concerned in my past was in fact white. Anyway, I don’t think anything like a ‘slut walk’ would ever, in a million years change the behavior of these men:

    “To whom it may concern: I am writing because for about a few weeks now I have been concerned about some overly aggressive homeless men who sit all day and most of the night on the bus stop seats at ______. I live at ________, and although I realize that it’s never been an easy neighborhood to navigate (I have lived here over ten years) I have never felt so threatened. They are all black men, and there are usually about 5-6 of them congregating there every day. One is older, maybe 58-65, and the rest are younger, maybe 19-27. They have taunted me so far on three occasions. One, at 9:30 in the evening last week on a Monday. They threatened sexual assault and called me ‘fat bitch.’ Another time, at around 7:30 on a Wednesday, threats of sexual assault were issued again and one of them did actually say he would ‘rape’ me if I came too close. Another time, two of them stood up, lunged at me threateningly and made motions as if they wanted to grab me. This is an awful situation in which my safety, and possibly the safety of many other women is being threatened almost daily, and I have to walk past that stop when I leave my residence. I realize there may not be much you can do, but I thought you should be aware of this, because I think there is a big difference between freedom of speech and actual threats. These were definite threats. I wonder if the seats should be removed considering the nature of the neighborhood? This could also be a police matter. Thank you in advance if you can help, Regards… (Hecate).”

  74. elkballet July 3, 2011 at 9:49 AM #

    I agree, I think the SlutWalk started with good intentions. The first things they fought against, the victim blaming and the rape culture were right on. That comment was frightening (but to point out, this is the the same argument made by every defense attorney in every rape case ever including the one mentioned above where the woman was gang raped and it was pointed out that years ago she wore a revealing dress and just reflects the way the rest of society thinks) and it was amazing that women started out getting mad. I was so excited to hear about women getting mad about victim blaming. Women should be mad!

    Then they named it SlutWalk, intentionally shifted the attention from victim blaming to the ability to dress without criticism, and started trying to claim that without changing anything about the larger culture they could just say that “slut” was an empowering word and it would suddenly be true. Had this really been a march against victim blaming I would be all for it. It’s really sad that they thought to get media attention they had to be “sexy.”

  75. joy July 3, 2011 at 5:14 PM #

    Anybody else remember “Take Back the Night”?

    There were a lot of flaws about that too (the dudes that would show up — you remember the dudes), but it wasn’t “sexy” and there was nothing in or about it that had to do with “sluts.”

    No woman is “a slut”. There’s no such thing. Walking in “pride” and “solidarity” with “sluts” is degrading and demeaning to everyone involved, and is ultimately counterindicative, not to mention counterrevolutionary.

  76. gracemargaret July 3, 2011 at 6:24 PM #

    Just the other day on TV before I had the chance to change the channel Dr.Phil came on (I don’t watch his show, I swear! I don’t have the stomach for it. Plus he’s stupid.) and there was a panel discussing why people got mad at Dr. Laura for using the n-word since there are African-Americans who use it all the time, like comedians and rappers. Dr. Phil didn’t understand. Maybe some use it ironically or try to take the sting out of it, but this is what White racists do with it. It totally goes over their heads and they now feel they have a free pass to use it as the hateful slur it is. They’re not saying it ‘ironically’, they mean it. Dr. Laura seemed to relish being able to say it (hey, Black people use it! is the argument).

    Does anyone really think the same thing won’t happen with the word ‘slut’? It won’t work, trust me. Now that Slut Walk got the media attention it was trying to get, why not change it to The Rape Is Always The Rapist’s Fault Walk? Now *that* would be revolutionary.

  77. sneeky bunny July 5, 2011 at 11:56 AM #

    @Elk Ballet. I do think that there is valid criticism being made about these marches, but I also think that each one is a little different and expresses the community in which they are individually organized. I can only speak for the Seattle march, and I can tell you that the emphasis by the speakers and organizers was on victim blaming. The majority of the marchers were dressed in street clothes, or as I said, recreations of what they had been wearing at the time of their assault. Which sadly, but not surprisingly, ended up being pretty much street clothes.
    The media attention that I personally received ( I was interviewed for the Stranger, Real Change, and a segment was done about me on the local NBC affiliate) was respectful, thoughtful, on message, and in no way sensational or prurient. The same can be said for the other media coverage of the event.

    Again, I can only speak for this particular march, but perhaps if you got involved in one locally, you could have a positive influence on its approach, rather than just criticizing the efforts of others.

  78. sneeky bunny July 5, 2011 at 1:34 PM #

    @Hecate:
    Jesus, what a frightening situation! I’m so sorry you’re having to endure it. Has there been any response from the transit authority? Have you contacted the police yourself at all? This is just fucked up! I wish I could do something to help. :(

  79. Hecate July 6, 2011 at 12:20 AM #

    Thanks sneeky bunny. Well no, not any response yet. The problem is that San Francisco came out with an ordinance that no one can sit on the sidewalk, especially not for a prolonged amount of time. So now the derelicts all sit at bus stops. Of course I have plenty of sympathy for the homeless, but when even homeless men feel so comfortable as to sit there like pigs and casually issue threats of rape, yeah, it’s a problem. It tells me something about male entitlement in this society, that’s for damn sure.

    All I can do now is hope to avoid them by walking on the other side of the street, as confronting those drunk fuckheads generally just makes them more abusive, unfortunately. I hope they drown in their own vomit or get shot, being as they’ve now truly proven and confirmed their total uselessness to society.

  80. elkballet July 6, 2011 at 3:31 PM #

    Hecate: Transit police are known for being totally useless. I’d bypass that and just go straight to the “real” police. I really hope they can help, that’s absolutely terrifying. Please take care of yourself. Is there another transit stop you can use?

    Joy: Dr. Phil does have ONE redeeming quality, and that’s that he is extremely anti-porn and he got pretty angry with some very public figures (Oprah and I want to say Letterman or someone like that) for being so cavalier about male use and the impact it can have on women in their lives.

    Sneeky: It’s possible that the media is refusing to cover things pertaining to rape and making a circus of what could be a good idea. The media has always refused to talk about rape and especially victim blaming, so my guess is they went, “wow we can make women look stupid while wearing skimpy clothes, let’s do it,” and focused on only the women who were anti-feminist and out to seem sexy rather than there to battle victim blaming. The loudest organizers of SlutWalk seem to be largely missing the point, but it could be that the women marching are largely there for the right reasons and the media is choosing to ignore them. My problem has never been with the individual women taking part, but with creators of the original walk in Canada.

  81. joy July 6, 2011 at 6:55 PM #

    elkballet, I think you had me mixed up. I hardly even know who Dr. Phil IS.

    I DO have a problem with women who take part in SlutWalk. Who can even remotely think it’s a good idea to proclaim “I’m a slut! We’re all sluts!” What good could that possibly, possibly achieve?

    Again, I understand that women are brainwashed. I still fight the same brainwashing. But at least I have enough political- and self-awareness not to think “slut” is a positive identity to promote or adopt. The fact that more women don’t, is a sad commentary on the failings of liberal (actually, centrist-right disguised as liberal) politics and the state of modern “feminism.”

  82. joy July 6, 2011 at 7:01 PM #

    Also, way to be an asshole about homeless people, everybody. Being homeless and a woman is one of the mightiest hell known to humankind. It’s a special slap in the face in an industrialized nation, where we have to watch the well-to-dos walk past and know they think we are “worthless to society.”

    This being said, I’ve been propositioned many a time by crackheads reeking of urine. I blame males’ sense of entitlement more than I do homelessness or even drug use. The liberal upscale film-school students I knew, as well as your average frat boys and businessmen, are just as piggish and disgusting — they just get away with it because they shower, and since they only hit on “hot” rich girls and women in fancy neighborhoods. Where that kind of behavior is considered “flirting.”
    I wish I was kidding, but I’m not.

  83. gracemargaret July 6, 2011 at 8:55 PM #

    @elkballet Dr. Phil, that was me. I don’t really watch his show like I said, but from the little snippets I’ve seen he seems to really like to yell at people. If he understands the harm of porn than maybe he’s not a total ass.

    Becoming homeless is a very realistic fear I have. I’m one kind, loving relative away from being there. I had nowhere to live before my current living situation. You really find out who your friends are when that happens. I know all three of my siblings wouldn’t do anything to help me. Being vulnerable and people knowing it, that they have the power to toss you on the street if you don’t kiss their ass, really brings the fascist out in people. I never expected it from my family in a million years but now I know better.

  84. Hecate July 6, 2011 at 10:03 PM #

    Thanks elkballet. I think I’ve probably had my share of the city by now. If I were a rich yuppie, perhaps I could stomach it.

    I do believe I have a right to file a complaint no matter who is threatening me. And I think male entitlement confers benefits on all manner of men, across all races and income levels. Also, I’m pretty sure it is indeed a hell of a lot more dangerous to be a homeless woman. I knew one who was homeless for a period, and she seemed to be saying that more benefits and shelters were set up for men, with women’s shelters being closed just when she needed the help the most.

  85. Hecate July 7, 2011 at 1:26 PM #

    Great campaign for the girls in your life:

    http://www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

  86. kgibson2001 March 18, 2012 at 6:58 PM #

    Thanks a lot.

    As a life long sports hater, I will remember your message for ever.

    We as a culture, feel sports is more important than when a woman gets raped. What a sad world we live in.

    I’ve felt like this most of my life.

    Keep up the fight and your blog helps me with my answers on Gender Studies on Yahoo Answers.

  87. Nine Deuce July 10, 2012 at 2:16 PM #

    I was just informed in a deleted comment on this post that I am as bad as any rapist for assuming this guy’s guilt.

  88. Fede July 12, 2012 at 7:02 AM #

    Well, Nine Deuce, that sorta makes me wish it were possible for you to delete commenters along with their inane comments.

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