Let me start out by urging all pro-choice (or pro-abortion) women and men out there to stop referring to people who want to restrict women’s right to decide what to do with their own bodies as “pro-life.” They made that bullshit name up, and the opposite of it is “pro-death,” which they intended. Also, I think calling them “anti-abortion” is too lenient. Even “anti-choice” might be too generous. I say we just start calling them anti-American. Hey, it’s working for the Republicans. My reasoning is as follows: as of now, our Supreme Court (however tenuous the status of this decision may be) holds that a woman has the right to decide how she wants to utilize her uterus (the name of the next Guns ‘n’ Roses double album?). The Supreme Court is an American institution and has been one for much longer than apple pie, NASCAR, or fake Belgian beers, ergo anyone who disagrees with the Supreme Court’s decision is anti-American.
But seriously. It’s time for me to lay out my position on abortion. This is a feminist blog, is it not? I’m pro-abortion. I don’t mean that everyone ought to abort every fetus that happens to lodge itself in the lining of every uterus, but I do mean that my motto is: if there’s any doubt, abort!
What do I mean by this crazy motto of “If there’s any doubt, abort!”? I mean if you are a teenager and are afraid to tell your parents you’re pregnant, if you think you don’t have time or room in your life for a child, if you don’t think your partner will make a good parent, if you can’t stop drinking/smoking/doing blow, if you aren’t sure whether you can afford a child, if you have any doubt at all about whether you want to be a parent, DON’T BECOME ONE, and have the abortion. Trust me, it’s probably best for everyone involved. Sure, there are plenty of people who have had children that they didn’t expect and had things turn out fine (my parents, for example), but there are a lot more people who have had children they ought not to have had and made life hell for both the child and themselves, and there are an awful lot of fuck-ups who have carried drug-addicted babies to term and placed them into the completely fucked child welfare system. (Adoption may be an option for some people, but I’ll have to get into uterus-rental in another post.) Besides, there are too many people on Earth as it is, and we need to be figuring out ways to reduce the population without millions of people having to starve to death, not ways to bring more consumers into the world.
I once had to watch a movie for Chinese class called Gua Sha (which I recommend only for those in second-year Chinese who need practice, or those who love a good unintentional comedy) that highlighted something important about anti-Americans for me. This movie revolves around a Chinese grandfather giving some kind of traditional Chinese medicine to his grandson that left what looked like bruises on his back, a treatment called gua sha (I’ve had it, it’s not a big deal and it doesn’t hurt, nor does it work). After the marks are seen on the boy, child services comes in and takes him away from his parents, who they believe have hurt the child. During court proceedings, the prosecutor asks the boy’s father, “Is it not true that your wife nearly died giving birth to your son, and that the doctor came in to ask you which of them you wished to save?” (Yeah fucking right, I know). And the father replied, “Yes, and I said to save my wife, because we could have another child.” Here’s something that (fictional and essentialized) Chinese people seem to understand that anti-Americans don’t: an adult human being has become a full person and has formed attachments that should be much more painful to sever than those between an as-yet non-existent human being and its parents-to-be. Ask any anti-American what to do in such a situation, and they’d tell you to save the child and let the mother die. People who believe in sin see more potential in a new life than one in which many sins have likely already been committed.
I’m not religious, I think religion is a bunch of tomfoolery that is unfortunately a necessary element of life for many people who find cosmic uncertainties to be more than they can handle. As such, I don’t need to worry about what a dude in Birkenstocks with a Band of Horses beard thinks about when a human life begins. All I have to care about is whether something can live on its own. Until then, it’s not a human being, but rather a growing set of cells that cannot exist or continue to grow without the aid of its host. Therefore, fetuses exist at the pleasure of their hosts, the women in whose uteri they reside.
Anyone who thinks otherwise is anti-American and is probably an al Qaeda sympathizer.