Rick Ducommon Day

11 May

Let me know if you need any tips on how to celebrate the new Fourth of July, Rick Ducommun Day. He’s Canadian, but who cares? I’m not that pumped about anything America’s doing these days, so I’ve been looking for a replacement for the Fourth of July.

Do you remember the movie The ‘Burbs? A few people I know and I used to dress up as Tom Hanks in The ‘Burbs every year for Halloween (an excuse to go to bars in pajamas and bathrobes), but that shit was weak sauce now that I think about it. Remember Art? He was easily the best character in the movie, and he was played by Rick Ducommon, whose birthday is July 3. Since July 4 is an annoying day to try to party on, I think it makes an excellent alternative holiday.

The key to celebrating it is a polo shirt, Madras shorts, boat shoes, canned beer, and extreme suspicion directed at your neighbors. You can light off fireworks if you want, like the crazy old ex-Army guy in The ‘Burbs might do (I don’t want to deprive anyone of lighting off fireworks, which is the most fun one can have), but just make sure you spend at least a quarter of the day theorizing about the illegal and/or immoral activities of a neighbor, preferably with a few of your other neighbors.


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2 Responses to “Rick Ducommon Day”

  1. zombie z May 12, 2008 at 4:07 AM #

    I think you’re on to something here.

    Problem is, it’s my neighbors that do all the hypothesizin’ about me and mine. Last year one of ‘em had the guts to inform my dad that either my sister or I had had a slamming party on July 4, complete with drunken fireworks displays.

    “Did you know about this?” the neighbor asked.

    “I was the one blowing shit up!” my dad replied.

    (He was also the drunk one, hence why I hid inside while there were explosives.)

    This year, the tables will turn.

  2. Brain Washed Teen May 12, 2008 at 8:32 PM #

    Everyone dresses like that round here anyways =/ Not that we celebrate 4th of july :P

    We have fireworks day. Which involves the burning of a doll like figure representing the terrorist, Guy Falks and basically eating our weight in brownies and other baked goods. I see national holidays as an excuse to eat and bake.

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