Comments on: Porn Part 5: The Other Half of the Big Picture

By: isme

isme — Wed, 11 May 2011 13:52:13 +0000

“I’ve looked it up and their are fetishes for guys looking for those videos on the internet.”

Yeah, it’s becoming more popular. Often it’s staged, of course, and they’ll put in a disclaimer it’s all consentual, and that she dumped her previous BF cause he wasn’t man enough to have sex with her in her sleep.

Or a note saying that he’s a burglar that broke in and found her sleeping, for the people who aren’t excited by “consensual” unconscious sex.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 10 May 2011 23:13:43 +0000

I’d also like to note that statics on rape are not accurate. Talk to rape couselors and cops that deal with those cases. THE VAST MAJORITY OF WOMEN RAPED DO NOT REPORT IT. They are too ashamed, want to forget it even happened, do not want to go through a trial, and then worse… be told they lied about it and get discredited and have the case dismissed on lack of evidence, because most rapists now are smart enough to use a condom. I’ve been raped several times. My mother has been assaulted and my sister also has been date raped. My mother’s case was dismissed because the police collected the evidence wrong.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Tue, 10 May 2011 22:53:17 +0000

Hmm. Let me to you from experience I have woken up at least 3 times to a guy having sex with me. And yes, I was passed out drunk, but that’s not a fucking excuse. So tell me that porn isn’t a problem when so many men seem to think it is ok to have sex, er, no rape a woman when she is asleep. I’ve looked it up and their are fetishes for guys looking for those videos on the internet. I might even be in one. And 2 of those guys that did it to me, I had thought they were friends of mine. They obviously couldn’t destinguish fantasy from reality.

By: Rage Against the Manchine’s Series on Pornography « AntiPorn101

Rage Against the Manchine’s Series on Pornography « AntiPorn101 — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 15:36:57 +0000

[...] Porn Part Five: The Other Half of the Big Picture [...]

By: lizor

lizor — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 16:35:25 +0000

Mildred – I think that was quite articulate. Thanks.

By: Mildred

Mildred — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 05:56:09 +0000

I just want to add something, having spent the whole day reading this… I am not educated or articulate but what I want to say is that I think that porn normalises very rough sex in relationships and what is going on behind closed doors looks like rape and feels like rape but is framed as rough sex between consenting individuals in a monogamous relationship. And over time this sexuality becomes conflated with arousal and thus the circle of normalisation is complete.
When you’re a young girl, and all the guys you sleep with watch porn its kind of inevitable that you’re going to go along with their porn fantasies, and not knowing what you like or don’t like, you’re probably going to end up doing things you’re not comfortable with but have to learn the hard way or you can’t get aroused unless there is a power dynamic, usually a submissive one.
I am speaking completely from personal experience of my own and conversations with female friends.
Every time I slept with a guy who watched porn I noticed a definite difference. They had fantasies about bringing another male partner, they liked to talk dirty (like name calling, slut, whore etc), they would want deep throating, anal sex, seemed confused by performing oral sex but constantly wanted it done to them. Basically they wanted alot of things that are just normal in porn but do not feel terribly great to a woman, physically.
And I think feminists have overlooked the fact that female sexuality is DEVELOPING to prefer masochism, submissiveness because when your formative experiences are with porn sex then porn sex is all you’re going to want and all that is going to excite you.
I do think this is inherantly bad because it is unemotional and requires the constant need to push boundaries and limits (I think the power dynamic is a way in which to tease out an emotional response from something that has been so unemotional.)
I have fucked alot of men and I like to fuck. I find it strange that its constantly argued that rad fems don’t like sex, I do, I like it so that I actually care about MY OWN PLEASURE.

By: Chloe

Chloe — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 20:21:57 +0000

I know that your rape argument has been over for like 2 years now, but I do have something to say about that.
Actual rapes, reported and unreported, are in fact going down. However, they are going down so slowly any trend is really pretty hard to see. All the while, every other kind of crime is going down much much faster. Basically, due to the fact that the trend is for all crime, especially violent crime (like assaults and murders) to go down significantly and quickly, since rape is barely changing we can say the same thing as if it was going up. If that made any sense. So yes, rape is going down. But so much slower than other crimes it’s basically the same as going up.
An interesting, sad, painful, side note, anal rape on college campuses has increased significantly (I can’t remember the number or what study I read it in, but it was a university study) in the past 10-15 years. Anal rape was somewhat rare. Then almost perfectly aligned with the rise of internet porn, anal rape dramatically went up in the age group that watches the most porn. As well, more and more women are being pressured into anal sex despite the fact that it usually hurts and is rarely pleasurable. Of course it can be fun, but way more than half of women who have tried anal sex said they would not want to do it again and that it was painful. Most of the time when asked, they were asked to do so due to a partner seeing it repeatedly in porn. Also becoming the norm is ejaculating onto a woman’s face. Some women report having this done to them the very first time they have sex it has become so normalized. Some men say they are dissatisfied with their partner sexually due to her unwillingness to participate in anal sex and that is the “reason” they must look at porn, as if anal sex was the most common innate desire there was.

By: Immir

Immir — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 05:31:35 +0000

Wow, great comment.

*God* Reading that back and forth between 9D & Lollipop was painful…..

E.g:
Lollipop- “Women are just as much of a problem as men are, if not more so. Speaking from purely personal experience, if I do something that is motivated by societal imposition, it is far more likely to be out of a desire to satisfy other women than out of one to satisfy men. If it’s hot, I personally see no problem with walking around topless. I don’t, not because the male hegemony tells me not to — since more than one male friend has told me that they fully support me taking my shirt off — but because of the expectations of my female friends. You cannot blame the male hegemony for this, since it quite obviously goes against what they desire.”

PAINFUL

By: Nine Deuce

Nine Deuce — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 05:48:42 +0000

Welcome aboard, dude. And thanks!

By: manarchydies

manarchydies — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 04:17:04 +0000

Hey nine-deuce,

This is my first post on your terrifically hilarious and insightful blog, but I hope there will be more.

I want to say just a few things.
Oh yeah, I’m a dude, btw.

–I have always been uncomfortable with porn for reasons I was previously unaware of. But since reading your porn series I have a whole new insight into why. I have begun to be more vocal about my opposition to porn and entertainment of its ilk to my male peers. Many times resulting in some great male-to-male discussion on our roles as oppressor and how we can use privilege as a means to fight privilege.

–My partner and I are radial leftists and have been working diligently on breaking down our gender roles as they apply to our relationship. I say this so you will know that I came to your blog being fairly aware of feminist theory. But because my brain works in a very crass and sarcastic manner, it took a very crass and sarcastic feminist to really get it to sink in. Thanks for expanding my insight.

–And the last point(by point I mean compliment) I want to make is this.
I used to spend a decent chunk of money watching stoner male comedy because I am a stoner male and they( the movies) made me laugh. Since reading your blog, and blogs you link to, but mostly yours, I have been able to replace movies where men say obnoxious things about women for a laugh with your pretty much awesome wit. I’d like to point out that your “Department of Redundancy Department” comment on the previous post in this series, had me in stitches for an entire day.

And the conversation you wrote for those Burger king ad guys….hilarious, but sadly accurate to be sure.

If I haven’t been clear enough in this post let me be more blunt.

Nine-Deuce and the contributors to this blog have opened my eyes substantially, in the last few months, to the experience of women. This insight has helped me better myself as a friend, a lover, a partner, a coworker, a son, a brother and as an activist for global justice.

Hope to read more soon!