Dennis Miller on the Daily Show was like Qianlong talking to Lord Macartney, okay?

Let me guess: you have no idea what the title of this blog means. Why? Because it’s a fucking Dennis Miller joke (i.e. the joke is based on a simile that relies on a completely esoteric reference as the punchline).

I was watching The Daily Show once and happened to catch an interview with Dennis Miller. He spent the whole time basically doing what he always does, which is show off his ridiculous (and random) knowledge of historical events of varying obscurity by comparing current celebrities and politicos and their follies with past events. He didn’t let Jon Stewart talk at all, which is also a recurring theme with him whenever he gets his smarmy, bearded mug in front of a camera. So, after he machine gunned the audience with a stream of these “jokes,” he basically told Stewart why he supported the War on Terrah, then fucked off.

There are three problems with Dennis Miller. First, although everyone considers him to be an erudite and sharp-witted motherfucker, I don’t know how smart or knowledgeable he actually is. He could very well sit down with Wikipedia every night to prepare for his TV appearances and write a script, which takes very little knowledge or intelligence. I suspect that’s the case, because he never lets anyone get a word in edgewise and he won’t allow anyone to change the course of his monologues. He won’t even deviate from the script long enough to answer a host’s questions.

Second, even if he does somehow possess more knowledge and intelligence than 95% of Americans, I still don’t know where his audience comes from. I’m fairly well educated, but I don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about half the time. That makes me wonder who does. Is it just another case of people pretending they understand something they don’t because they think they are the only one who doesn’t get it? I hope not, but I suspect so. Considering the fact that most Americans can’t name the Vice President and know more about the Taco Bell menu than history – even that of their own country – I doubt the average TGI Friday’s patron knows dick about Shay’s Rebellion or the Defenestration of Prague.

That last point brings me to my third and final problem with Mr. M. Let’s say Dennis Miller is a genius. In that case, what the fuck is he doing hosting a right-wing wankfest on CNBC? And why has he dumbed down his “comedy” on that show so that your average Republican asshole can understand it? And when did he become a George W. Bush fanboy? He used to make fun of born-again kooks and right-wing nutters, but now every chance he gets he tells everyone how essential the War on Terrah is to the survival of the country. (“Dennis, how do you feel about the death of Anna Nicole?” Dennis: “The media coverage of this thing is like the Paris Bread Riots of 1725. But seriously, I really think that we have to support the president on this deal in Iraq.” I made that up, but he could have said it.) It’s funny, though, because for once he employs no obscure analogies to explain his opinion, maybe because he doesn’t really believe what he is saying. I suspect that he has adopted his pro-war stance because you have to be a GOP ass-licker to get on cable news these days (MSNBC notwithstanding), which makes him a total sell-out, also a point against him.

All in all, he’s a pretentious douchebag, which is offensive enough on its own, but which is much worse when he becomes a complete phony on top of it. He has a few other mannerisms that annoy me (ending every sentence with a sneer and an arrogant “okay?” as if he’s just told you what year it is, for example), but these are the three real problems that Mr. Miller needs to think long and hard about.

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6 thoughts on “Dennis Miller on the Daily Show was like Qianlong talking to Lord Macartney, okay?

    1. I would like to see Keith Olbermann try and debate Dennis Miller.

      Dennis is a iceberg-tip libertarian and I agree with very little of his values and ideologies. However, Olbermann couldn’t keep up with Miller.

      In fact, Keith is a claptrap applause-seeker and doesn’t usually say much. I saw him on Bill Maher (love him) a few weeks ago and he looked outmatched in the discussion when surrounded by “friends.” How would he fair against a worthy foe like Dennis Miller?

      My guess: Inadequately.


  1. I can’t stand that guy. Seriously, what a fuckface. I know you hate David Cross, but he does have a bit where he slams Miller on the same point that you do…

    Essentially he’s talking about this horrific campaign that emerged when the war first started where soldiers were asked to pray for President Bush (for serious) and actually sign a card promising to do so and mail it to the White House. Yeah. So Cross goes on about what a crazy-ass, imperialistic, nutjob thing that is to do, saying “what the fuck?! That’s what kings do! Is he like, munching on a turkey leg and getting blown by a serf?” He then goes on to imitate a king-like Bush in a funny voice: “Tell the troops to pray for the president! A pox on thy houses! Bring in the court jester…Dennis Miller! What lovely jokes do you have for me today? ‘Nuke them all?’ Bwahahaha! What? ‘Saddam makes Cromwell look like Chamberlain?’ That’s wonderful! You truly are the king of references!”

    I found the thing on YouTube – starts at 1:49:


    1. I don’t hate David Cross, I’m just disappointed in him. When I first heard him do stand-up I was super pumped, then I met people who know him and heard all this heinous shit and it kind of bummed my party out. Like I saw that “squagels” thing he did recently and — had I not known he’s into porking groupies or whatever — I’d probably have laughed, but since I do know, I snorted and said, “Yeah, dude, like I can’t make fun of a dumb ad campaign.” Know what I mean?


  2. I know exactly what you mean. I didn’t mean “hate” literally – just as a general, all-purpose word for having your David Cross buzz harshed. Kind of like “stop yelling at me” is the universal phrase I use when my boyfriend’s mad at me, even though he’s usually not actually yelling, just being a dick. I also wasn’t trying to be like “I know you don’t like this guy, but he makes the same points you do so nuah nuah nauh pthhhhhhbttttt!” – I only prefaced my comment with that little disclaimer so you weren’t all “um, I already said I’m not into this dude, so why is this butthead passive-aggressively regaling me with bits of his stand-up?” I just loved how you so exactly pinpointed one of the most annoying things about Dennis Miller that totally reminded me of DC.

    (FYI: I felt really guilty when I read that “he’s into porking groupies” thing and my first gut reaction was ‘Really?! AWESOME!'” Ugh.)


  3. The Qianlong reference makes no sense. I mean really, what is that even suppose to imply about Lord Macartney? Is this worth digging up my notes from Asian history? Because, with Miller, I tend not to trouble myself more than the effort it takes to hit the mute button.


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