I can’t even believe I’m writing about this shit. Actually, fuck that; I can’t believe someone came up with this. I thought I had heard everything when I found out about people cutting up and rearranging their vaginas (AKA labiaplasty), but now I’ve really reached a “holy shit, the world is going to end” moment.
Apparently, with the rise in the popularity of anal sex among today’s youth and the exploding popularity of anal porn (regular sex just isn’t sexy enough, man), the world has become increasingly aware of a serious problem that, luckily, chemicals can solve for us: the inappropriately-hued butthole. I’m picturing all sorts of scenarios in which this affront to aesthetics could come to light, and none of them are cute. They all revolve around a scenario in which a woman has been talked into “doing anal” despite her reservations about it, only to have the persuader stop and say, “Dear god, how can I be expected to do this thing that I made such a big deal out of getting you to do when your butthole isn’t even the right shade of pink?”
I know, that was gross. But don’t get mad at me. I’m not the one who has brought us to the point where men are demanding that women “do anal” and women are expected to not only acquiesce — whether it’s something they enjoy or not — but also to make sure their buttholes are the right shade of pink for the event, applying toxic chemicals to achieve that shade if necessary. I’m pretty sure this means that pornographers now completely control our minds. Otherwise there’s no fucking way a woman could go into a salon and say, “While I’m here having my pubes ripped out by the roots, could you please go ahead and apply some chemicals to my butthole?” The fucking ARROGANCE of these motherfuckers expecting women to not only let their bodies be used like objects, but to endanger their own health to make the experience more aesthetically pleasing to the person doing the using makes me so fucking angry that I want to start a nu metal band or something (OK, I can’t get that angry).
I don’t mean to beat a dead horse or anything, but the fact that this procedure exists should make it clear to everyone in the world that a) women in this godforsaken country of porn-crazed idiots are seen as nothing but sex objects, that b) our idea of what it means to be a woman is so distorted and warped that most men are now no longer attracted to women but rather to cartoonish facsimiles of women, and that c) a large proportion of the women in the world are completely brainwashed, because they just keep on accepting these new “beauty” and “grooming” requirements in the quest for male approval, basing their self-worth on whether men want to use them, which is just where these assholes want us.
I’m moving to Papua New Guinea.
53 Comments
March 18, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I’m thinking about this and trying to decide if it’s much weirder than bleaching facial hair or whitening your teeth, which just goes to show how truly bizarre those things are, too.
Just surfed on. I’m enjoying reading your posts.
March 18, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I suppose that’s true, although this one bothers me more somehow. Probably because it’s yet another practice seeping into the mainstream from the porn industry.
March 19, 2008 at 12:56 am
Ha! Good one.
March 19, 2008 at 1:14 am
IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE DO WHAT YOU WANT THAN YOU TRULY ARE A LIBERAL IDIOT. GIRLS WANT TO LOOK PRETTY. THAT IS THE WAY THEY ARE BORN. IF YOU ARE SO UGLY THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PRETTY BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE PRETTY THAN YOU SHOULD MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY WHERE YOU WILL NOT BE FREE TO CRITICIZE OTHERS FOR WHAT THEY DO TO LOOK PRETTY. APPARENTLY IT IS A SIN FOR BUTTHOLES TO BE PRETTY. IF PEOPLE WANT TO HAVE ANAL SEX IT IS NOT RIGHT BUT THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES AND IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER STUPID LIBERAL THAT WANTS GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL OUR LIVES BECAUSE YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE THE WAY IT IS IN NEW YORK. I DO NOT SUPPORT THE TERRORIST ATTACKS ON NEW YORK BUT IT WOULD BE NICE IF ALL YOU LIBERAL NEW YORKERS WOULD ACCIDENTALLY HAVE FATAL ACCIDENTS. SO YOU ARE SO SMART MS. FEMINIST BECAUSE YOU THINK PORN IS BAD WHEN IT IS JUST FREE SPEECH AND BUTTHOLES HAVE TO BE UGLY. ALSO YOU MISSPELLED WASHED IN YOUR BLOG UNLESS WAHSED IS A SECRET NEW YORK LESBIAN WORD. GUESS WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW. RON PAUL WILL CHANGE THIS COUNTRY FOREVER AND YOU FEMINAZIS WILL BE WHAT YOU ALREADY ARE. A LAUGHING STOCK.
March 19, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Buttkicker, I’m not even going to bother to read through the majority of your idiotic shouting, but one little point: ‘buttholes’ (and every other body part) already are pretty, by themselves. And women don’t owe it to anyone to ‘prettify’ themselves. Nobody is asking men to do this sort of weird crap.
March 20, 2008 at 6:41 pm
“And women don’t owe it to anyone to ‘prettify’ themselves. Nobody is asking men to do this sort of weird crap.”
They don’t owe it to anyone, but if a woman wants to “prettify” herself, on her own terms…that’s HER business.
As far a pressure on men to “prettify” themselves – it’s not as strict and radical, but trust me, it is out there! For example, if you are a middle-aged overweight man, you will be under pressure to lose weight, shave, get a haircut, wear nice clothes, knock out the grey hair. And if you don’t, or can’t, you will spend many lonely hours wondering if and when you will have a job or companionship.
Unfortunately, women have been trained by the patriarchy to be just as shallow as men when it comes to appearance.
March 20, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Men may be expected to adhere to a normative body type, but they are NOT inundated with the idea that their personal worth is based almost solely on their appearance. Men are admired for being smart, charming, ambitious, etc., while women are admired for being fuckable. This is not merely a matter of degree.
March 25, 2008 at 3:04 am
Bill–
Yes, it would be nice if we lived in a world where the decisions people make could be attributed solely to personal choice. Sadly, though, we don’t. I realize that you don’t experience life as a female, but every day I somehow end up getting the message that it’s wrong of me to not wear makeup, not shave my legs, and not worry that the bagel I eat will “go straight to my thighs!” That it’s wrong for me to just love my body as it is and not be constantly trying to improve it. I don’t like this shit. I don’t like that I hear commercials on the radio which include men giving testimonies of how weight-loss treatments led to their wives looking “twenty years younger”–but there’s no comparable testimony from women about their husbands. Nevermind that fact that the standard of attractiveness for dudes is tall, muscular, strong. For women it’s thin, not visibly muscled (dudes with well-defined abs are considered hot. Women with well-defined abs are considered gross), and petite enough to be shorter than whatever dude she wants to date (yeah, standards of beauty are ridiculously heteronormative.)
So yes, it would be nice if a woman bleaching her butthole could be “just her decision”–but if we lived in that sort of world, I doubt she’d be making such a decision.
March 27, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Yet another in the long list of “your worth is based on your physical appearance” mixed with “hey, want to do something that removes part of/threatens with chemical burning/surgically rearranges your genitals?” type treatments aimed at women (and to a lesser extent, men).
I feel so sorry for all those girls and women who think there is something wrong with the colour of their butthole.
March 28, 2008 at 2:02 am
buttkicker likes bleached buttholes.. round of hi5;s to buttkicker.. i just wanted to read about the retard comments and blog ive heard so much about..gonna try to find that… haha
March 28, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Holy Crap, this I’ve never heard of before. What rock have I been hiding under? Or have I been trying to ignore the stupid shit that goes on?
March 31, 2008 at 7:48 pm
I’m against bleaching of the anus but for different reasons. See, the skin around the anus is of a different pigment than skin mostly everywhere else. Similarly, butthole color is different for all of us. In that way, butthole skin color is yet another distinctual difference (pun intended) in humans. I love vaginal hair for the same reasons. Differences amount to uniqueness. It gives us porn shoppers yet another search parameter when choosing our jackoff material. I prefer light to medium brown buttholes.
April 8, 2008 at 8:29 pm
I don’t think that most men give a rat’s ass what color the bunghole is. Just the fact that it’s there is enough.
April 20, 2008 at 2:18 pm
[...] scathing rant, this time against the beauty and pornography industries, from Nine Deuce with There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole posted at Rage Against the Man-chine. Her rage is contagious: “The fucking ARROGANCE of these [...]
April 24, 2008 at 12:05 am
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.
April 24, 2008 at 1:46 am
Although hair is already dead, and can be bleached for reasons other than to be sexually attractive, so I don’t know if that point is really as strong… I don’t know what to say about the teeth thing, though… (at least it doesn’t require painful chemical procedures?)
But this entry… that people would even have the notion to do that just… defies sense.
April 26, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Hey Genevieve… I second your first post.
April 26, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Anyone have and before/after pics? Thx.
April 26, 2008 at 6:24 pm
potus – Of buttholes? Have a look in the mirror.
April 27, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Look.
There’s no one forcing anyone to bleach their buttholes. Or anal. Well, maybe the latter, but you could probably press charges for that.
Maybe some women like anal, and they want it to look maybe a bit nicer or presentable. Whatever. It’s gross. But what I’m saying is, it’s what they’ve decided to do.
It’s not the fault of the patriarchy, it’s the fault of their own fucked up self-esteem.
People were born with brains. You can’t blame anyone else for the choices they make.
April 29, 2008 at 5:14 am
It is the patriarchy’s “fault” that anal bleaching is becoming a household practice . The male-catered porn industry is continuously molding and shaping the bodies of their models to resemble sexbot automatons that are in continuous supply and demand for and by the male clientelle. As long as surgically manipulated bodies remain the sexual norm for the heterosexual male’s fantasies, the wives, girlfriends, and lovers of most mainstreamed men will feel a degree of pressure to live up to this fantasy. I know so many girls and women (I used to be one of them) who try to be both the Dirty Pornstar Slut in addition to the Nice Normal Girl for their guy just because they feel compelled to be a Slut to make sure he doesn’t stray. The archaic Bad Girl/Good Girl dichotomy still lingers in most young males’ minds. Not so much in older, post-educated men, though.
In worst case scenarios, if the woman falls too far outside the constraints of the man’s expectations on what her body should look like and what/how she should perform in bed, he will most likely continue to gratify his fantasies through porn and/or infidelity.
This is only applicable if the guy is an asshole to begin with; there are plenty of normal guys and girls who would easily laugh their rational asses off at all the stupid things those stupid people are doing.
April 29, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Well said…. I found your site randomly and I _< This shit pisses me off so much. Its so difficult to be a woman and try to be anything more than meat for a man. God forbid you be intelligent and want to do something meaningful with your life… its like permanent stigmatism. Rediculous.
July 21, 2008 at 2:10 am
Cristal, totally.
And really? anal bleaching? Honestly all I can say is “What, REALLY????” Someone out there expects their sexual partner to make her anus the “right color”? I cannot believe we can even function as a society. You couldn’t pay me to do that shit. I realize lipgloss and torturous shoes are just in different places on the scale of Patriachal Bullshit, but damn the scale is broken if we’ve gotten to women’s anuses not being pretty enough. What next, sex-ified intestines?
July 21, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Why is our society so stuck on “beauty”? I use quotes because our definition of beauty is horribly skewed. With face lifts, eye lifts, boob jobs, etc. our world is becoming a plastic paradise. Can we leave the anus alone?? Its your asshole, it is what it is…
July 21, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Note: Married man…and I find the idea of bleaching the anus mentally unstable.
August 18, 2008 at 6:22 pm
seriously, BUTTKICKER69, could you please not drop Ron Paul’s name if you are going to leave hateful, ignorant comments on blogs? I am glad you are anti-government and I am glad you are saying what you think and feel, but let’s keep Ron out of it. As an anti-government Libertarian you should be quite socially liberal and refrain from grouping and stereotyping “Lesbians,” “New Yorkers,” and “liberals” like it’s a bad thing. Maybe you are just a conservative and you’ve not come to terms with this yet.
August 23, 2008 at 9:30 am
relax. some people are into buttholes that look like rabbit nostrils. just like some people are into hackysacking and organics.
August 23, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I’ll relax when women aren’t being asked to harm themselves to adhere to what some asshole is “into.”
August 24, 2008 at 12:28 am
[...] scathing rant, this time against the beauty and pornography industries, from Nine Deuce with There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole posted at Rage Against the Man-chine. Her rage is contagious: “The fucking ARROGANCE of these [...]
October 10, 2008 at 1:24 pm
What the fuck is this!? Why…why the hell is such an area ever eroticized in the first place? Cheezus H. Crust…maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is.
October 10, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Odium, what about a woman penetrating a man’s anus?
October 11, 2008 at 1:36 am
“maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is.”
Um…run that by me again?
October 13, 2008 at 8:04 am
Is there a medical reason for hair bleaching that I don’t know about?
October 13, 2008 at 1:24 pm
Well, while the P-spot may make some difference, it seems like a horridly painful act no matter what preparations are made…still, call it faux-hysteria on my part, I’d OD’d on some Stoltenberg, Dworkin et al at the time.
October 27, 2008 at 2:17 am
A) Some women enjoy anal (I have received requests for it), and while you may not enjoy it for yourself, don’t project your personal preferences onto all females; doing so is derogatory and sexist. B) While asthetics are not the only, or even the most important, characteristic of a person, male or female, it is still a relavant aspect to all biological creatures; sex is universal among humans (as far as I know there has never been a thoroughly documented case of immaculate conception, i.e. all our parents did it). C) Everyone draws the line in his or her own place, and it amazes me how people like you flip your lid whenever anyone crosses your line while I guarantee you there is something you do on a regular basis that would sicken the Ahmish (like, say, research anal bleaching). Don’t hate people because they made a different descision than you when it solely pertains to his or her own personal life and has no effect on you (other than those effects you imose upon yourself of course).
October 27, 2008 at 2:59 am
Way to miss my point.
October 27, 2008 at 5:54 am
This is ONE of my favorite posts here (so far–I’m currently reading the post about Sarah Palin). I agree 100%. Whether it’s pink, brown, purple, or black, smooth or surrounded by hair, each butthole is unique, special, and beautiful in its own way. I’d love to know what color mine is, but unfortunately I don’t have my head far enough up my butt like some of the people here (hint: such as the one with “butt” in his/her name).
October 28, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I don’t think I missed the point. As I understood it, the point was that women feel pressure to constantly improve themselves to an unreasonable state of flawlessness. I agree, Hollywood and pornography do portray an unrealistic standard of beauty. However, I don’t agree that it’s their fault if people buy into it too seriously. I and my girlfriend watch porn on a (very) regular basis, but I still find my girlfriend, whom I love, to be more attractive than any air-brushed model. You can’t lump everyone into the same category based on one decision they make; you don’t know why they decided to do it. Could it be that you don’t know everything, that within his or her life, he or she gains more joy from having an anus of a different color than joy lost from the expense and procedure? In that case, he or she would be an idiot not to do it. Moreover, some people have naturally low self esteem and actively seek out ways to “improve” themselves, so don’t blame one person for another idiots mistake
Tangentially, I would guess you are a, extreme liberal, and are opposed to America being “world police” yet would gladly pass legislature policing someone’s right to a pink butthole.
October 28, 2008 at 4:09 pm
How am I shaming women for acquiescing to demands that they live up to these unrealistic standards? What I’ve got a problem with is the pressure, not whether people succumb to it.
October 29, 2008 at 12:02 am
I guess that’s just a core difference of opinion we have. I think this kind of pressure is perceived more than projected (that was the point I was trying to make). Of course, I’m not on the receivig end, so I must concede my view is (unfortunatly inherently) bias. I love debating, and this was fun. Let me know if you have any other topics you’d like to discuss. My guess would be that, since you’re a blogger, you would like to express your opinion to someone who probably doesn’t already agree with you but is willing to listen; otherwise you’re preaching to the choir (ex: chlorophyll) or a brick wall (ex: BUTTKICKER).
October 29, 2008 at 2:21 pm
“maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is”
Whoa. That’s all I have to say about that comment. Sex is ONLY rape if it is against what a person wants. If a person, man or woman, enjoys anal sex and has consented to the act of their own free will, it is not rape. Not all of us like anal sex, I get that. I personally don’t like it, but I won’t tell anyone else that they can’t, or that in doing it they are somehow doing something wrong.
On another note, anal bleaching is weird, and is likely more often than not a product of our patriarchal society. That’s not to say that there aren’t people out there who do it just because they want to, however. Many women do feel pressured to live up to these ridiculous standards created by the porn industry, and this is wrong. But, for those individuals who make that choice because its what they want to do, can we tell them they are disgusting and wrong? If you like it, and are doing it of your own free will, not because you feel you need to measure up to something unattainable, I don’t think we should be saying its so bad. Most of us wouldn’t choose to have this done, but there will be a minority that will. I say, let them make that decision.
November 7, 2008 at 2:17 am
The thing is if you are stupid enough to do it you deserve the consequences that follow. No amount of money should make us want to put our health on the line but, there are some ignorant people out their willing to do just that.
The funniest part about this whole feminism thing and the article is you, the liberal feminist, (like there is any other kind) are on the same side, (Liberal, Socialist, Democrat what ever you want to call it) as the pornographer you claim to despise. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?
November 7, 2008 at 2:25 am
Yeah, that’d be ironic if it were the case. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.
November 10, 2008 at 8:47 pm
You know what comes out of your butthole is for? Defecating. That’s what they’re there for. I dunno about you guys, but I’m cool with sticking to that use and maybe not having my butthole displayed in such a manner that I need be concerned whether it’s white enough. Besides, if I do someday choose to engage in anal sex with a partner, I’d hope s/he would be aware of the fact that it’s a butthole and not scrutinize the whiteness thereof. Just sayin’.
December 13, 2008 at 8:14 am
Sex is something that is hardwired into who we are as human beings, every man and woman has the basic desire to have sex, as it assures the continuation of humanity’s presence on earth.
Anal sex is what can be classified as a strange sexual act, but the action usually takes place because of another basic instinct humanity possesses, this instinct being curiosity. Our curiosity tends to lead us to do strange and unorthodox things . Curiosity drives us to try new things, and many people do try anal sex, some like it, some don’t. Its just life.
Mainstream media has a way of getting its message across without it seeming like it is forcing it on others. Sex is a big part of western culture because it is the easiest thing to sell. Capitalism and Porn go hand in hand, its easy to make money off of things that comes naturally to people, Mainstream media wants people to like anal sex and to bleach because of one thing… It sells more product.
More product being consumed = more money being made.
It is a shame that we as a species have this system in place, because people should be able to find on their own what they think is normal. The media should not have the power to tell us what is normal. A person should not feel pressured into doing things like bleaching their assholes. If they don’t want to, they have the power to not do it. But people find it much easier to allow others to think for them.
I for one don’t enjoy porn, nor do I treat my girlfriend like a sex object. I feel that it is unfortunate that western society tends to teach men to treat women like toys, and that it is something that is now deep rooted in our society.
My girlfriend’s last boyfriend forced anal on her and hurt her terribly during it (He watched a lot of porn and did not treat her with respect during sex. He also told her on several occasions that she was ugly with out make up… god i think he was blind, seriously tho I don’t know how he could have thought that). Because this was all she knew, this being because of how society is, she thought it was normal and allowed it to happen even though it hurt.
I now bring to you my case, we should not group all men into one category. All members of society, no matter their gender or sexual orientation contribute to its well being. If people continue to allow a small group to think for a larger group then trends like bleaching will continue. What must be done is people need to educate to others, the importance of Individuality and freedom of thought. The only way to win is to think for yourself! We must allow people to FREELY find their sexuality WITHOUT PRESSURE from an external group.
With this, I leave you with the lyrics to a song by the alternative metal band Tool, the song is called Intolerance, take your own meaning from it…
“I don’t want to be hostile.
I don’t want to be dismal.
But I don’t want to rot in an apathetic existence either.
See
I want to believe you,
and I want to trust
and I want to have faith to put away the dagger.
But you lie, cheat, and steal.
And yet
I tolerate you.
Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
while I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your praise and glory.
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory
while you
lie, cheat, and steal.
How can I tolerate you.
Our guilt,our blame ,
I’ve been far too sympathetic.
Our blood, our fault.
I’ve been far too sympathetic.
I am not innocent.
You are not innocent.
No one is innocent.
I will no longer tolerate you
Even if I must go down beside you.
Because,
No one is innocent. ”
- Wii_man “The super Nerd”
January 14, 2009 at 2:11 pm
Men try to make womens’ bodies into what they’re not. It’s clearly not a case of ‘nature’ what they desire, as much them manipulating what we feel we need to be.
You can imagine every time a woman has this ‘bleaching’ a man somewhere is smirking – ‘women are as overly desperate as ever to please our unrealistic desires.’
April 19, 2009 at 12:47 am
WTF!
I know posts should be longer, but this leaves me speechless.
June 16, 2009 at 8:47 pm
Wow. I think the only question left to ask is which is more painful–the bleaching or the sex?
Anyone experienced out there with both that can comment on it?
Personally, I think this “Cult of Femininity” is, today, as evil as the “Cult of Domesticity” was to our 18th and 19th Century (and earlier) counterparts. Actually, it’s probably much more damaging physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I may, however, feel this way because I am subjected to this rather than that.
There is no doubt that early American (an not just Americans, but all) women lived in very tough times, and would likely scoff at our seemingly superficial gripes when we now have rights they never dreamed of, but this, my friends, has simply gone too fucking far.
to quote an earlier poster:
“But, for those individuals who make that choice because its what they want to do, can we tell them they are disgusting and wrong? If you like it, and are doing it of your own free will, not because you feel you need to measure up to something unattainable, I don’t think we should be saying its so bad. Most of us wouldn’t choose to have this done, but there will be a minority that will.”
There is not one women out there who would choose to apply chemical agents to her anus to change its appearance had there not been something or someone that told her that the anus she had was unattractive. I mean, it’s not like we can see our assholes for ourselves to judge. (Well, maybe Buttkicker69 saw his right before he dove head-first into it, but that is another matter.)
What I am getting at here, is that it is not really a free-will sort of thing if you feel pressure to do it because your man is holding you up to some unrealistic ideal that all assholes should be a pretty pink color.
What does this say for those of us who aren’t white? Do African American women, Asian women, and other women of color have to bleach their anuses (or is it ani or even anii?) too? I mean, African American women are already pressured to change their eye color, their hair texture and length so that they appear more white. Asians and Hispanic women, undoubtedly, have similar demands on them to appear more “American.” As if this sick Brazilian waxing wasn’t torture enough, now men want more. I am a big stumbler and it’s nearly impossible to find a picture of a nude woman online with natural pubic hair anymore. There is this little-girl-bald-pussy aesthetic going on now that is really starting to sicken me. I actually, read an article written by a man about how much pubic hair women should have. Women were leaving comments on how “gross” it is to have pubic hair. This is not something women have “discovered” on their own. No one would willing spread hot wax on their genitals and have the hair ripped out by the roots (by a stranger no less) unless someone or something insinuated that it would make you more appealing. It’s now become ingrained in the female consciousness that pubic hair (for that matter leg or armpit hair, but I do shave both) is somehow unclean.
What sad commentary it is on how mothers are raising their daughters…not to think for themselves, but to adhere to the same sickening shit that forced our predecessors into corsets foregoing comfort and health for the sake of being beautiful.
July 1, 2009 at 6:30 pm
“I mean, it’s not like we can see our assholes for ourselves to judge.”
There’s always using a mirror.
Also, I can’t comment on how anal bleaching feels (since, for one thing, I find it absolutely senseless), but anal sex, done properly, *doesn’t hurt*. So the bleaching is probably worse…
July 2, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Winter_Lights,
You mean that anal sex done properly “*doesn’t hurt*” you.
July 2, 2009 at 5:01 pm
Winter_lights:
“anal sex, done properly, *doesn’t hurt*”
So if it does hurt, it’s your own fault for not doing it properly? Perhaps you could use your impressive knowledge to produce a guide for all the less competent women out there who claim it hurts like hell. You could call it “The Superior Asshole’s Guide To Superior Anal”.
No, don’t thank me!
July 4, 2009 at 6:20 pm
It’s perfectly possible to take the stance that pain during any sex, including anal sex, means that you’re not doing it properly without blaming people. It doesn’t have to be an either/or and it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault. Rather than jump to the conclusion that Winter_lights is saying that pain during anal sex equals lack of competence and therefore it’s someone’s fault, what if you read his comment as simply saying that a little know-how can make the difference between pain and enjoyment?
And yes, I fully understand that there are many people who don’t enjoy anal sex or find it uncomfortable or painful, regardless of “proper” technique. I’m not suggesting that it’s *only* a matter of knowing how to do it, simply that knowing how to do it can make a big difference for many people. Many other factors are relevant- past experiences with anal sex and/or with sexual trauma, how much one trusts one’s partner, one’s physical state, the level of communication between partners, and more. Plus, some people simply don’t like it, whether it’s done “correctly” or not.
“Proper” technique is a useful, but insufficient ingredient.
July 5, 2009 at 7:25 pm
“It’s perfectly possible to take the stance that pain during any sex, including anal sex, means that you’re not doing it properly without blaming people.”
That may be so, but it’s not what WL did. The implication was that ‘proper’ technique would ensure that *nobody* would feel pain during anal sex, which is arrogant and insensitive. Plus it’s probably inaccurate, unless I missed the bit where WL was some kind of rectal telepath.