There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole.

18 Mar

I can’t even believe I’m writing about this shit. Actually, fuck that; I can’t believe someone came up with this. I thought I had heard everything when I found out about people cutting up and rearranging their vaginas (AKA labiaplasty), but now I’ve really reached a “holy shit, the world is going to end” moment.

Apparently, with the rise in the popularity of anal sex among today’s youth and the exploding popularity of anal porn (regular sex just isn’t sexy enough, man), the world has become increasingly aware of a serious problem that, luckily, chemicals can solve for us: the inappropriately-hued butthole. I’m picturing all sorts of scenarios in which this affront to aesthetics could come to light, and none of them are cute. They all revolve around a scenario in which a woman has been talked into “doing anal” despite her reservations about it, only to have the persuader stop and say, “Dear god, how can I be expected to do this thing that I made such a big deal out of getting you to do when your butthole isn’t even the right shade of pink?”

I know, that was gross. But don’t get mad at me. I’m not the one who has brought us to the point where men are demanding that women “do anal” and women are expected to not only acquiesce — whether it’s something they enjoy or not — but also to make sure their buttholes are the right shade of pink for the event, applying toxic chemicals to achieve that shade if necessary. I’m pretty sure this means that pornographers now completely control our minds. Otherwise there’s no fucking way a woman could go into a salon and say, “While I’m here having my pubes ripped out by the roots, could you please go ahead and apply some chemicals to my butthole?” The fucking ARROGANCE of these motherfuckers expecting women to not only let their bodies be used like objects, but to endanger their own health to make the experience more aesthetically pleasing to the person doing the using makes me so fucking angry that I want to start a nu metal band or something (OK, I can’t get that angry).

I don’t mean to beat a dead horse or anything, but the fact that this procedure exists should make it clear to everyone in the world that a) women in this godforsaken country of porn-crazed idiots are seen as nothing but sex objects, that b) our idea of what it means to be a woman is so distorted and warped that most men are now no longer attracted to women but rather to cartoonish facsimiles of women, and that c) a large proportion of the women in the world are completely brainwashed, because they just keep on accepting these new “beauty” and “grooming” requirements in the quest for male approval, basing their self-worth on whether men want to use them, which is just where these assholes want us.

I’m moving to Papua New Guinea.


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143 Responses to “There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole.”

  1. Chiroptera March 18, 2008 at 9:48 PM #

    I’m thinking about this and trying to decide if it’s much weirder than bleaching facial hair or whitening your teeth, which just goes to show how truly bizarre those things are, too.

    Just surfed on. I’m enjoying reading your posts.

  2. Nine Deuce March 18, 2008 at 10:01 PM #

    I suppose that’s true, although this one bothers me more somehow. Probably because it’s yet another practice seeping into the mainstream from the porn industry.

  3. Twisty March 19, 2008 at 12:56 AM #

    Ha! Good one.

  4. BUTTKICKER 69 March 19, 2008 at 1:14 AM #

    IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE PEOPLE DO WHAT YOU WANT THAN YOU TRULY ARE A LIBERAL IDIOT. GIRLS WANT TO LOOK PRETTY. THAT IS THE WAY THEY ARE BORN. IF YOU ARE SO UGLY THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO BE PRETTY BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE PRETTY THAN YOU SHOULD MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY WHERE YOU WILL NOT BE FREE TO CRITICIZE OTHERS FOR WHAT THEY DO TO LOOK PRETTY. APPARENTLY IT IS A SIN FOR BUTTHOLES TO BE PRETTY. IF PEOPLE WANT TO HAVE ANAL SEX IT IS NOT RIGHT BUT THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD STAY OUT OF OUR LIVES AND IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE JUST ANOTHER STUPID LIBERAL THAT WANTS GOVERNMENT TO CONTROL OUR LIVES BECAUSE YOU WANT EVERYTHING TO BE THE WAY IT IS IN NEW YORK. I DO NOT SUPPORT THE TERRORIST ATTACKS ON NEW YORK BUT IT WOULD BE NICE IF ALL YOU LIBERAL NEW YORKERS WOULD ACCIDENTALLY HAVE FATAL ACCIDENTS. SO YOU ARE SO SMART MS. FEMINIST BECAUSE YOU THINK PORN IS BAD WHEN IT IS JUST FREE SPEECH AND BUTTHOLES HAVE TO BE UGLY. ALSO YOU MISSPELLED WASHED IN YOUR BLOG UNLESS WAHSED IS A SECRET NEW YORK LESBIAN WORD. GUESS WHO LOOKS STUPID NOW. RON PAUL WILL CHANGE THIS COUNTRY FOREVER AND YOU FEMINAZIS WILL BE WHAT YOU ALREADY ARE. A LAUGHING STOCK.

    • Mel October 1, 2013 at 12:06 AM #

      Mental oppression and lack of proper grammar knowledge seem to be going hand in hand, all caps psycho. I’m going to guess that you’ve been brainwashed. One reason is that you’re claiming that liberal want to control your right to have anal sex. Noo, sweetie, that is in fact tabooed by conservatives, some states even rank sodomy as illegal, and damn those gays! You’re logic….I’m a beautiful woman, absolutely gorgeous, yet, the color of my asshole has absolutely nothing to do it with it, wwhatsoever, and I have never recieved a single complaint about that. Now I have been tried to be forced to have anal sex by a boyfriend. That was not fun. Arguments ensued that if I really loved him, it can’t hurt that bad, everyone does it, he couldn’t MARRY me if I wouldn’t share all of myself with him….so fucking pitiful. Also pitiful to come on this blog and get in all caps no punctuation mode about the fact you think the author must be one of those ugly, conservative liberal no pretty girl’s that doesn’t want to be pretty and wants to control your right to let people objectify you and ram themselves into your butthole! Not sorry for that graphic. Your self esteem sounds shot by taking this pitifully amusing attack at the author. You don’t make sense. You probably never did. But hey, if you reread the article a few times maybe you’ll get the sense that its not an article, but a feminist blog. You’re way out of your league here! Now if you’re a woman, I hate to be the bitch to other women bitch, but get a fucking grip.

  5. Genevieve March 19, 2008 at 1:41 PM #

    Buttkicker, I’m not even going to bother to read through the majority of your idiotic shouting, but one little point: ‘buttholes’ (and every other body part) already are pretty, by themselves. And women don’t owe it to anyone to ‘prettify’ themselves. Nobody is asking men to do this sort of weird crap.

  6. Bill March 20, 2008 at 6:41 PM #

    “And women don’t owe it to anyone to ‘prettify’ themselves. Nobody is asking men to do this sort of weird crap.”

    They don’t owe it to anyone, but if a woman wants to “prettify” herself, on her own terms…that’s HER business.

    As far a pressure on men to “prettify” themselves – it’s not as strict and radical, but trust me, it is out there! For example, if you are a middle-aged overweight man, you will be under pressure to lose weight, shave, get a haircut, wear nice clothes, knock out the grey hair. And if you don’t, or can’t, you will spend many lonely hours wondering if and when you will have a job or companionship.

    Unfortunately, women have been trained by the patriarchy to be just as shallow as men when it comes to appearance.

  7. Nine Deuce March 20, 2008 at 11:46 PM #

    Men may be expected to adhere to a normative body type, but they are NOT inundated with the idea that their personal worth is based almost solely on their appearance. Men are admired for being smart, charming, ambitious, etc., while women are admired for being fuckable. This is not merely a matter of degree.

  8. Genevieve March 25, 2008 at 3:04 AM #

    Bill–
    Yes, it would be nice if we lived in a world where the decisions people make could be attributed solely to personal choice. Sadly, though, we don’t. I realize that you don’t experience life as a female, but every day I somehow end up getting the message that it’s wrong of me to not wear makeup, not shave my legs, and not worry that the bagel I eat will “go straight to my thighs!” That it’s wrong for me to just love my body as it is and not be constantly trying to improve it. I don’t like this shit. I don’t like that I hear commercials on the radio which include men giving testimonies of how weight-loss treatments led to their wives looking “twenty years younger”–but there’s no comparable testimony from women about their husbands. Nevermind that fact that the standard of attractiveness for dudes is tall, muscular, strong. For women it’s thin, not visibly muscled (dudes with well-defined abs are considered hot. Women with well-defined abs are considered gross), and petite enough to be shorter than whatever dude she wants to date (yeah, standards of beauty are ridiculously heteronormative.)
    So yes, it would be nice if a woman bleaching her butthole could be “just her decision”–but if we lived in that sort of world, I doubt she’d be making such a decision.

  9. RadFemHedonist March 27, 2008 at 9:21 PM #

    Yet another in the long list of “your worth is based on your physical appearance” mixed with “hey, want to do something that removes part of/threatens with chemical burning/surgically rearranges your genitals?” type treatments aimed at women (and to a lesser extent, men).

    I feel so sorry for all those girls and women who think there is something wrong with the colour of their butthole.

  10. moni187que March 28, 2008 at 2:02 AM #

    buttkicker likes bleached buttholes.. round of hi5;s to buttkicker.. i just wanted to read about the retard comments and blog ive heard so much about..gonna try to find that… haha

  11. SAAM March 28, 2008 at 3:11 PM #

    Holy Crap, this I’ve never heard of before. What rock have I been hiding under? Or have I been trying to ignore the stupid shit that goes on?

  12. Drakkar Noir March 31, 2008 at 7:48 PM #

    I’m against bleaching of the anus but for different reasons. See, the skin around the anus is of a different pigment than skin mostly everywhere else. Similarly, butthole color is different for all of us. In that way, butthole skin color is yet another distinctual difference (pun intended) in humans. I love vaginal hair for the same reasons. Differences amount to uniqueness. It gives us porn shoppers yet another search parameter when choosing our jackoff material. I prefer light to medium brown buttholes.

  13. purefnevyl April 8, 2008 at 8:29 PM #

    I don’t think that most men give a rat’s ass what color the bunghole is. Just the fact that it’s there is enough.

  14. josh goble April 24, 2008 at 12:05 AM #

    Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

  15. K B April 24, 2008 at 1:46 AM #

    Although hair is already dead, and can be bleached for reasons other than to be sexually attractive, so I don’t know if that point is really as strong… I don’t know what to say about the teeth thing, though… (at least it doesn’t require painful chemical procedures?)

    But this entry… that people would even have the notion to do that just… defies sense.

  16. David April 26, 2008 at 6:11 PM #

    Hey Genevieve… I second your first post.

  17. potus April 26, 2008 at 6:19 PM #

    Anyone have and before/after pics? Thx.

  18. Nine Deuce April 26, 2008 at 6:24 PM #

    potus – Of buttholes? Have a look in the mirror.

  19. You guys will all hate me April 27, 2008 at 7:06 PM #

    Look.
    There’s no one forcing anyone to bleach their buttholes. Or anal. Well, maybe the latter, but you could probably press charges for that.
    Maybe some women like anal, and they want it to look maybe a bit nicer or presentable. Whatever. It’s gross. But what I’m saying is, it’s what they’ve decided to do.

    It’s not the fault of the patriarchy, it’s the fault of their own fucked up self-esteem.

    People were born with brains. You can’t blame anyone else for the choices they make.

  20. chlorophyll April 29, 2008 at 5:14 AM #

    It is the patriarchy’s “fault” that anal bleaching is becoming a household practice . The male-catered porn industry is continuously molding and shaping the bodies of their models to resemble sexbot automatons that are in continuous supply and demand for and by the male clientelle. As long as surgically manipulated bodies remain the sexual norm for the heterosexual male’s fantasies, the wives, girlfriends, and lovers of most mainstreamed men will feel a degree of pressure to live up to this fantasy. I know so many girls and women (I used to be one of them) who try to be both the Dirty Pornstar Slut in addition to the Nice Normal Girl for their guy just because they feel compelled to be a Slut to make sure he doesn’t stray. The archaic Bad Girl/Good Girl dichotomy still lingers in most young males’ minds. Not so much in older, post-educated men, though.

    In worst case scenarios, if the woman falls too far outside the constraints of the man’s expectations on what her body should look like and what/how she should perform in bed, he will most likely continue to gratify his fantasies through porn and/or infidelity.

    This is only applicable if the guy is an asshole to begin with; there are plenty of normal guys and girls who would easily laugh their rational asses off at all the stupid things those stupid people are doing.

  21. Cristal April 29, 2008 at 10:41 PM #

    Well said…. I found your site randomly and I _< This shit pisses me off so much. Its so difficult to be a woman and try to be anything more than meat for a man. God forbid you be intelligent and want to do something meaningful with your life… its like permanent stigmatism. Rediculous.

  22. Screaming Lemur July 21, 2008 at 2:10 AM #

    Cristal, totally.
    And really? anal bleaching? Honestly all I can say is “What, REALLY????” Someone out there expects their sexual partner to make her anus the “right color”? I cannot believe we can even function as a society. You couldn’t pay me to do that shit. I realize lipgloss and torturous shoes are just in different places on the scale of Patriachal Bullshit, but damn the scale is broken if we’ve gotten to women’s anuses not being pretty enough. What next, sex-ified intestines?

    • Gowan October 10, 2014 at 8:10 AM #

      Depending on what you think qualifies as intestines,vaginoplasty exists already.

  23. TR July 21, 2008 at 2:23 PM #

    Why is our society so stuck on “beauty”? I use quotes because our definition of beauty is horribly skewed. With face lifts, eye lifts, boob jobs, etc. our world is becoming a plastic paradise. Can we leave the anus alone?? Its your asshole, it is what it is…

  24. TR July 21, 2008 at 2:25 PM #

    Note: Married man…and I find the idea of bleaching the anus mentally unstable.

  25. ferralfemme August 18, 2008 at 6:22 PM #

    seriously, BUTTKICKER69, could you please not drop Ron Paul’s name if you are going to leave hateful, ignorant comments on blogs? I am glad you are anti-government and I am glad you are saying what you think and feel, but let’s keep Ron out of it. As an anti-government Libertarian you should be quite socially liberal and refrain from grouping and stereotyping “Lesbians,” “New Yorkers,” and “liberals” like it’s a bad thing. Maybe you are just a conservative and you’ve not come to terms with this yet.

  26. bloodywig August 23, 2008 at 9:30 AM #

    relax. some people are into buttholes that look like rabbit nostrils. just like some people are into hackysacking and organics.

  27. Nine Deuce August 23, 2008 at 6:16 PM #

    I’ll relax when women aren’t being asked to harm themselves to adhere to what some asshole is “into.”

  28. Odium October 10, 2008 at 1:24 PM #

    What the fuck is this!? Why…why the hell is such an area ever eroticized in the first place? Cheezus H. Crust…maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is.

  29. RadFemHedonist October 10, 2008 at 6:06 PM #

    Odium, what about a woman penetrating a man’s anus?

  30. isme October 11, 2008 at 1:36 AM #

    “maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is.”

    Um…run that by me again?

  31. wiggles October 13, 2008 at 8:04 AM #

    Although hair is already dead, and can be bleached for reasons other than to be sexually attractive

    Is there a medical reason for hair bleaching that I don’t know about?

  32. Odium October 13, 2008 at 1:24 PM #

    Well, while the P-spot may make some difference, it seems like a horridly painful act no matter what preparations are made…still, call it faux-hysteria on my part, I’d OD’d on some Stoltenberg, Dworkin et al at the time.

  33. reasonable October 27, 2008 at 2:17 AM #

    A) Some women enjoy anal (I have received requests for it), and while you may not enjoy it for yourself, don’t project your personal preferences onto all females; doing so is derogatory and sexist. B) While asthetics are not the only, or even the most important, characteristic of a person, male or female, it is still a relavant aspect to all biological creatures; sex is universal among humans (as far as I know there has never been a thoroughly documented case of immaculate conception, i.e. all our parents did it). C) Everyone draws the line in his or her own place, and it amazes me how people like you flip your lid whenever anyone crosses your line while I guarantee you there is something you do on a regular basis that would sicken the Ahmish (like, say, research anal bleaching). Don’t hate people because they made a different descision than you when it solely pertains to his or her own personal life and has no effect on you (other than those effects you imose upon yourself of course).

  34. Nine Deuce October 27, 2008 at 2:59 AM #

    Way to miss my point.

  35. Rachael October 27, 2008 at 5:54 AM #

    This is ONE of my favorite posts here (so far–I’m currently reading the post about Sarah Palin). I agree 100%. Whether it’s pink, brown, purple, or black, smooth or surrounded by hair, each butthole is unique, special, and beautiful in its own way. I’d love to know what color mine is, but unfortunately I don’t have my head far enough up my butt like some of the people here (hint: such as the one with “butt” in his/her name).

  36. reasonable October 28, 2008 at 4:01 PM #

    I don’t think I missed the point. As I understood it, the point was that women feel pressure to constantly improve themselves to an unreasonable state of flawlessness. I agree, Hollywood and pornography do portray an unrealistic standard of beauty. However, I don’t agree that it’s their fault if people buy into it too seriously. I and my girlfriend watch porn on a (very) regular basis, but I still find my girlfriend, whom I love, to be more attractive than any air-brushed model. You can’t lump everyone into the same category based on one decision they make; you don’t know why they decided to do it. Could it be that you don’t know everything, that within his or her life, he or she gains more joy from having an anus of a different color than joy lost from the expense and procedure? In that case, he or she would be an idiot not to do it. Moreover, some people have naturally low self esteem and actively seek out ways to “improve” themselves, so don’t blame one person for another idiots mistake
    Tangentially, I would guess you are a, extreme liberal, and are opposed to America being “world police” yet would gladly pass legislature policing someone’s right to a pink butthole.

  37. Nine Deuce October 28, 2008 at 4:09 PM #

    How am I shaming women for acquiescing to demands that they live up to these unrealistic standards? What I’ve got a problem with is the pressure, not whether people succumb to it.

  38. reasonable October 29, 2008 at 12:02 AM #

    I guess that’s just a core difference of opinion we have. I think this kind of pressure is perceived more than projected (that was the point I was trying to make). Of course, I’m not on the receivig end, so I must concede my view is (unfortunatly inherently) bias. I love debating, and this was fun. Let me know if you have any other topics you’d like to discuss. My guess would be that, since you’re a blogger, you would like to express your opinion to someone who probably doesn’t already agree with you but is willing to listen; otherwise you’re preaching to the choir (ex: chlorophyll) or a brick wall (ex: BUTTKICKER).

  39. Andi October 29, 2008 at 2:21 PM #

    “maybe not all heterosexual sex is rape, but all heterosexual anal sex is”

    Whoa. That’s all I have to say about that comment. Sex is ONLY rape if it is against what a person wants. If a person, man or woman, enjoys anal sex and has consented to the act of their own free will, it is not rape. Not all of us like anal sex, I get that. I personally don’t like it, but I won’t tell anyone else that they can’t, or that in doing it they are somehow doing something wrong.

    On another note, anal bleaching is weird, and is likely more often than not a product of our patriarchal society. That’s not to say that there aren’t people out there who do it just because they want to, however. Many women do feel pressured to live up to these ridiculous standards created by the porn industry, and this is wrong. But, for those individuals who make that choice because its what they want to do, can we tell them they are disgusting and wrong? If you like it, and are doing it of your own free will, not because you feel you need to measure up to something unattainable, I don’t think we should be saying its so bad. Most of us wouldn’t choose to have this done, but there will be a minority that will. I say, let them make that decision.

  40. Fil November 7, 2008 at 2:17 AM #

    The thing is if you are stupid enough to do it you deserve the consequences that follow. No amount of money should make us want to put our health on the line but, there are some ignorant people out their willing to do just that.

    The funniest part about this whole feminism thing and the article is you, the liberal feminist, (like there is any other kind) are on the same side, (Liberal, Socialist, Democrat what ever you want to call it) as the pornographer you claim to despise. Kind of ironic, don’t you think?

  41. Nine Deuce November 7, 2008 at 2:25 AM #

    Yeah, that’d be ironic if it were the case. You clearly don’t know what you’re talking about.

  42. Lindsay November 10, 2008 at 8:47 PM #

    You know what comes out of your butthole is for? Defecating. That’s what they’re there for. I dunno about you guys, but I’m cool with sticking to that use and maybe not having my butthole displayed in such a manner that I need be concerned whether it’s white enough. Besides, if I do someday choose to engage in anal sex with a partner, I’d hope s/he would be aware of the fact that it’s a butthole and not scrutinize the whiteness thereof. Just sayin’.

  43. A random male nerd appears..... December 13, 2008 at 8:14 AM #

    Sex is something that is hardwired into who we are as human beings, every man and woman has the basic desire to have sex, as it assures the continuation of humanity’s presence on earth.

    Anal sex is what can be classified as a strange sexual act, but the action usually takes place because of another basic instinct humanity possesses, this instinct being curiosity. Our curiosity tends to lead us to do strange and unorthodox things . Curiosity drives us to try new things, and many people do try anal sex, some like it, some don’t. Its just life.

    Mainstream media has a way of getting its message across without it seeming like it is forcing it on others. Sex is a big part of western culture because it is the easiest thing to sell. Capitalism and Porn go hand in hand, its easy to make money off of things that comes naturally to people, Mainstream media wants people to like anal sex and to bleach because of one thing… It sells more product.

    More product being consumed = more money being made.

    It is a shame that we as a species have this system in place, because people should be able to find on their own what they think is normal. The media should not have the power to tell us what is normal. A person should not feel pressured into doing things like bleaching their assholes. If they don’t want to, they have the power to not do it. But people find it much easier to allow others to think for them.

    I for one don’t enjoy porn, nor do I treat my girlfriend like a sex object. I feel that it is unfortunate that western society tends to teach men to treat women like toys, and that it is something that is now deep rooted in our society.

    My girlfriend’s last boyfriend forced anal on her and hurt her terribly during it (He watched a lot of porn and did not treat her with respect during sex. He also told her on several occasions that she was ugly with out make up… god i think he was blind, seriously tho I don’t know how he could have thought that). Because this was all she knew, this being because of how society is, she thought it was normal and allowed it to happen even though it hurt.

    I now bring to you my case, we should not group all men into one category. All members of society, no matter their gender or sexual orientation contribute to its well being. If people continue to allow a small group to think for a larger group then trends like bleaching will continue. What must be done is people need to educate to others, the importance of Individuality and freedom of thought. The only way to win is to think for yourself! We must allow people to FREELY find their sexuality WITHOUT PRESSURE from an external group.

    With this, I leave you with the lyrics to a song by the alternative metal band Tool, the song is called Intolerance, take your own meaning from it…

    “I don’t want to be hostile.
    I don’t want to be dismal.
    But I don’t want to rot in an apathetic existence either.
    See
    I want to believe you,
    and I want to trust
    and I want to have faith to put away the dagger.

    But you lie, cheat, and steal.
    And yet
    I tolerate you.
    Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
    while I smile and laugh and dance
    and sing your praise and glory.
    Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
    as I smile and laugh and dance
    and sing your glory
    while you
    lie, cheat, and steal.
    How can I tolerate you.

    Our guilt,our blame ,
    I’ve been far too sympathetic.
    Our blood, our fault.
    I’ve been far too sympathetic.

    I am not innocent.
    You are not innocent.
    No one is innocent.

    I will no longer tolerate you
    Even if I must go down beside you.
    Because,
    No one is innocent. ”

    – Wii_man “The super Nerd”

  44. Kate January 14, 2009 at 2:11 PM #

    Men try to make womens’ bodies into what they’re not. It’s clearly not a case of ‘nature’ what they desire, as much them manipulating what we feel we need to be.

    You can imagine every time a woman has this ‘bleaching’ a man somewhere is smirking – ‘women are as overly desperate as ever to please our unrealistic desires.’

  45. Liselotte April 19, 2009 at 12:47 AM #

    WTF!
    I know posts should be longer, but this leaves me speechless.

  46. merryjane73 June 16, 2009 at 8:47 PM #

    Wow. I think the only question left to ask is which is more painful–the bleaching or the sex?

    Anyone experienced out there with both that can comment on it?

    Personally, I think this “Cult of Femininity” is, today, as evil as the “Cult of Domesticity” was to our 18th and 19th Century (and earlier) counterparts. Actually, it’s probably much more damaging physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually. I may, however, feel this way because I am subjected to this rather than that.

    There is no doubt that early American (an not just Americans, but all) women lived in very tough times, and would likely scoff at our seemingly superficial gripes when we now have rights they never dreamed of, but this, my friends, has simply gone too fucking far.

    to quote an earlier poster:
    “But, for those individuals who make that choice because its what they want to do, can we tell them they are disgusting and wrong? If you like it, and are doing it of your own free will, not because you feel you need to measure up to something unattainable, I don’t think we should be saying its so bad. Most of us wouldn’t choose to have this done, but there will be a minority that will.”

    There is not one women out there who would choose to apply chemical agents to her anus to change its appearance had there not been something or someone that told her that the anus she had was unattractive. I mean, it’s not like we can see our assholes for ourselves to judge. (Well, maybe Buttkicker69 saw his right before he dove head-first into it, but that is another matter.)

    What I am getting at here, is that it is not really a free-will sort of thing if you feel pressure to do it because your man is holding you up to some unrealistic ideal that all assholes should be a pretty pink color.

    What does this say for those of us who aren’t white? Do African American women, Asian women, and other women of color have to bleach their anuses (or is it ani or even anii?) too? I mean, African American women are already pressured to change their eye color, their hair texture and length so that they appear more white. Asians and Hispanic women, undoubtedly, have similar demands on them to appear more “American.” As if this sick Brazilian waxing wasn’t torture enough, now men want more. I am a big stumbler and it’s nearly impossible to find a picture of a nude woman online with natural pubic hair anymore. There is this little-girl-bald-pussy aesthetic going on now that is really starting to sicken me. I actually, read an article written by a man about how much pubic hair women should have. Women were leaving comments on how “gross” it is to have pubic hair. This is not something women have “discovered” on their own. No one would willing spread hot wax on their genitals and have the hair ripped out by the roots (by a stranger no less) unless someone or something insinuated that it would make you more appealing. It’s now become ingrained in the female consciousness that pubic hair (for that matter leg or armpit hair, but I do shave both) is somehow unclean.

    What sad commentary it is on how mothers are raising their daughters…not to think for themselves, but to adhere to the same sickening shit that forced our predecessors into corsets foregoing comfort and health for the sake of being beautiful.

  47. Winter_lights July 1, 2009 at 6:30 PM #

    “I mean, it’s not like we can see our assholes for ourselves to judge.”

    There’s always using a mirror.

    Also, I can’t comment on how anal bleaching feels (since, for one thing, I find it absolutely senseless), but anal sex, done properly, *doesn’t hurt*. So the bleaching is probably worse…

    • Evo July 2, 2009 at 3:23 PM #

      Winter_Lights,

      You mean that anal sex done properly “*doesn’t hurt*” you.

  48. Finisterre July 2, 2009 at 5:01 PM #

    Winter_lights:

    “anal sex, done properly, *doesn’t hurt*”

    So if it does hurt, it’s your own fault for not doing it properly? Perhaps you could use your impressive knowledge to produce a guide for all the less competent women out there who claim it hurts like hell. You could call it “The Superior Asshole’s Guide To Superior Anal”.

    No, don’t thank me!

    • Gowan October 10, 2014 at 8:32 AM #

      Obviously, if it hurts, the man who sticks his dick into someone else’s butthole is doing it wrong.So I think it is true that, if done properly, it won’t hurt most people. (Gay men seem to enjoy it, after all)
      However, it also won’t be pleasurable for most women, so I see no reason for women to allow men to do it to them.

      If a man asks me for anal sex, I’ll assume he wants me to stick something up his butthole. There is no rational reason for a man to prefer an anus to a vagina if his partner has both.

  49. Charlie July 4, 2009 at 6:20 PM #

    It’s perfectly possible to take the stance that pain during any sex, including anal sex, means that you’re not doing it properly without blaming people. It doesn’t have to be an either/or and it doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault. Rather than jump to the conclusion that Winter_lights is saying that pain during anal sex equals lack of competence and therefore it’s someone’s fault, what if you read his comment as simply saying that a little know-how can make the difference between pain and enjoyment?

    And yes, I fully understand that there are many people who don’t enjoy anal sex or find it uncomfortable or painful, regardless of “proper” technique. I’m not suggesting that it’s *only* a matter of knowing how to do it, simply that knowing how to do it can make a big difference for many people. Many other factors are relevant- past experiences with anal sex and/or with sexual trauma, how much one trusts one’s partner, one’s physical state, the level of communication between partners, and more. Plus, some people simply don’t like it, whether it’s done “correctly” or not.

    “Proper” technique is a useful, but insufficient ingredient.

  50. Finisterre July 5, 2009 at 7:25 PM #

    “It’s perfectly possible to take the stance that pain during any sex, including anal sex, means that you’re not doing it properly without blaming people.”

    That may be so, but it’s not what WL did. The implication was that ‘proper’ technique would ensure that *nobody* would feel pain during anal sex, which is arrogant and insensitive. Plus it’s probably inaccurate, unless I missed the bit where WL was some kind of rectal telepath.

  51. winter_lights September 9, 2009 at 4:56 PM #

    I suppose this is what I get, for responding to something I find implicit in another person’s comment without making what I’m trying to say explicit…

    Yes, some people will feel pain during anal sex. That’s a sign that they shouldn’t have anal sex, or at least not right then. It doesn’t really matter which partner (if really either of them) is doing something wrong, there’s just too much risk of injury and it needs to stop immediately.

    (If you want something I really hate about the pop culture image of anal sex, it’s this idea that if a man has anal sex with a woman, and it’s painful for her, that he’s somehow awesome because of this.)

    In any case, what I was trying to say is that anal sex is not painful for everyone, which I felt was implied in merryjane73’s question. (I suppose someone might say the same about anal bleaching, but I’ve yet to hear anyone claim that that process doesn’t hurt.)

  52. Imaginary November 30, 2009 at 6:52 AM #

    *tear**tear* My butthole is beautiful; why do people keep implying that it’s not? Rage at butthole discrimination!

  53. Roxie November 30, 2009 at 7:45 AM #

    “APPARENTLY IT IS A SIN FOR BUTTHOLES TO BE PRETTY”

    that was the hardest I’ve laughed all day!

  54. Alina December 1, 2009 at 3:05 AM #

    I think I saw something about this on one of those plastic surgery shows. The thing is, who besides your partner is going to see your anus? Sounds like a waste of money to me.

    I’m both surprised and not surprised that anal is the “hot new thing.” But there seems to be a ridiculous amount of risk for such a low-pleasure activity. Us girls have an organ much better equipped for that kind of activity–it’s called a vagina.

    But I guess now that the porn industry ran out of ridiculously-sized sex toys to use in their movies anal was the next best thing. And then there’s the element of domination in it– ignoring the vagina denies female sexuality. And now not only can your boyfriend demand that you submit physically to him, but he can ridicule for the color of your anus as well. Eww.

  55. Ama January 8, 2010 at 1:11 PM #

    You may not want to go to Papua New Guinea, it has a fairly high sexual assault rate and a bad record for treatment of women, comparatively. :(

  56. kristina January 24, 2010 at 4:46 AM #

    “Unfortunately, women have been trained by the patriarchy to be just as shallow as men when it comes to appearance.”-Bill

    EXACTLY!!!! I am attracted to many different kinds of men… fat, skinny, tall, short…well as long as they’re not morbidly obese (yes I’ll admit I’m that shallow…but that’s not to say I wouldn’t fall in love with someone that large)…Anyway, I’m just as angry at women who are shallow as I am men that are shallow..I don’t oppose any particular sex, but more of particular ideas and preconceived notions set forth to us by the media…like what is considered…”pretty”.

  57. Immir March 4, 2010 at 2:27 AM #

    It’s like guys just want to see how far they can push us… to see just WHAT they can get away with before we tell them enough.

    I wish more women would wake up and tell them to fuck off.

    “I’d rather live alone buy a cat or a dog that deal with you, asshole… Speaking of which, seeing as you ARE an asshole, why don’t you go and bleach yourself?”

  58. Eva March 23, 2010 at 11:12 AM #

    have you ever seen the show “king of queens”? the fat lardarse husband is a slobby cunt, has the intellectual prowess of dead crawfish, fucks up royally at every turn and yet is “endearingly cute and sweet”, whilst the wife is expected to be “hot and sexy”, run the household and clean up after that fat dick that isn’t funny at all. imagine this scenario in reverse? if the wife were fat and dopey? she wouldn’t be called cute, she wouldn’t be tolerated, and many men would want to stone her to death for looking and acting too repulsive for them.

  59. Eva March 23, 2010 at 11:20 AM #

    merryjane73, i’m glad you mentioned the eye colour modification. here, i see korean/vietnamese women getting blue contacts. who do they think they’re fooling? they’re OBVIOUSLY asian. it’s rare that an asian person have blue eyes, and it’s even rarer (if not impossible) that the blue has the shade of a wet sailor’s suit and bulges out of the eyes like marble. i once saw a korean woman like this, and it disgusted me. what’s worse is that she tried her hardest to pretend they were her real irises, they clearly were not. furthermore, she was in PAIN, she kept rubbing them, and they looked red, and quite frankly frightening, like something out of a horror film. how she thought that was attractive is beyond me. but that’s okay, as long as it wasn’t her default brown/black eyes, right?

  60. elkballet September 25, 2010 at 11:22 PM #

    I just saw an article in Details magazine (yeah, I know, I wrote a blog about it because it was so ridiculous) about how sad and pathetic and stupid women who use labia dye are (do they not realize that the reason women do this, along with labiaplasty, anal bleaching, and all other horrors is because they want to measure up to all that damn porn???) and how no man would ever actually care. Right. I swear this has happened to some woman where she walks in her partner with his hand down his pants watching some woman with huge breasts and he goes, “it’s not like I actually like huge breasts! You shouldn’t feel insecure.” I hate this whole culture. Now not only do I have to worry about having pubic hair, which grows there naturally and everyone has, but I also have to worry about the color of my butt hole? No thanks.
    (P.S. I’ve been posting under the name of Chloe, but I got my own blog now cause you totally inspired me. I hope I can generate at least a LITTLE traffic!).

  61. miss young October 28, 2010 at 8:27 AM #

    Honestly I think your opinion is relatively biased. I’m going to assume you do not have this problem of relatively large labia? Therefore you have no idea what it’s really like. When I was younger I was always very very uncomfortable with the size of my labia. They always caused pain when walking, working out or just sitting down. I was about 14 at the time, still a virgin, and never seen what another vagina looked like in my life. So even without media and social influence I was extremely uncomfortable and felt something wasn’t ‘normal’. When I did lose my virginity and thereafter it was painful and embarrassing that my labia always got ‘caught’ if you will , while having sex. My bf’s never said anything to me but I refused to let them look. I had thoughts and even almost attempted to cut them myself. Thankful when I turned 22 i found a doctor that performed labiaplasty and had them removed. From that day forward I couldn’t have been happier. Whoever said plastic surgery cannot buy confidence lied!! It solved all my problems in that area. I for one am a feminst as well and I think we our entilted to this right. To deny a women this surgery based on the context of the surgery goes against what feminism stands for, the empowerment of women to have a CHOICE!!!!

  62. isme October 29, 2010 at 2:50 AM #

    “I’m going to assume you do not have this problem of relatively large labia?”

    If it was a problem, and if it was causing you pain, than surgery isn’t that unusual a response.

    That is rather different than societal pressure for unneccesary surgery.

  63. Bluecat October 30, 2010 at 3:14 AM #

    @Miss Young: I have what could be termed “relatively large labia” (they extend past the vulva), and they have never, ever caused any pain. I’m starting to wonder if this “pain” some women complain about is phantom pain brought about by psychological discomfort…maybe I’m missing something.

    Yes, they do get caught during sex, but you know what? It isn’t embarrassing, it’s life. Anatomy is sometimes inconvenient, it gets in the way, you move it out of the way, life goes on. Any embarrassment you’ve experienced was either directly or indirectly a result of misogynistic body shaming and, yeah, there is a HUGE problem with women mutilating their bodies, risking death and complications (including loss of sensation), in an attempt to comply more closely with pornitized standards of beauty. That’s not empowerment, that’s kowtowing to patriarchy.

    Confidence is not something you can buy, and if it comes with a price tag attached, what you’ve bought is an artificially constructed sense of relief that comes from unburdening yourself of non-conformity to artificial standards. Yes, conformity/compliance do confer benefits, but they’re ultimately soul-suckingly hollow attempts at molding yourself to fit others’ expectations. Being what others want you to be as opposed to learning to love yourself as is? DIS-empowering.

  64. Fede October 30, 2010 at 10:47 AM #

    Bluecat, that last paragraph is totally spot on and beautifully put.

  65. Muhammad November 23, 2010 at 5:17 AM #

    HAHA! What the fuck?!XD
    lol, Now I’ve heard it all…bleaching your ass!?! The things I hear on these blogs are seriously ridiculous. If anyone ever asks you to bleach your ass, say “yeah sure, will this do?” then pick up a bottle of Parozone and squirt it in the moron’s eyes.

  66. shame on you January 20, 2011 at 10:21 PM #

    Shame on people making personal choices about their body’s.

    Shame on them!

    • Nine Deuce January 20, 2011 at 10:32 PM #

      Yeah, because adhering to the porn mandate is equivalent to claiming bodily sovereignty via exercising one’s reproductive rights. You gotta FIGHT… for your RIGHT… to bleach your buuuttHOLE!

      • Nine Deuce January 20, 2011 at 10:35 PM #

        Also, the plural for “body” is “bodies.” “Body’s” indicates you are referring to the possessions of a body, which you failed to name.

  67. joy January 21, 2011 at 12:23 AM #

    “You gotta FIGHT… for your RIGHT… to bleach your buuuttHOLE!”

    Party anthem of 2011 right there, ND.

  68. anthony February 12, 2011 at 4:00 AM #

    Dude I’m so fucking with you. What the fuck is wrong with this country. We are destroying ourselves inside out. Sickens me. It is becoming increasingly harder tto find a decent woman these days. I image its the same on the male side. Wtf is wrong with this country. Fuuuuuuccck.

  69. Jane February 12, 2011 at 4:47 PM #

    Next thing you know, the RA porn controlled machinery, will be demanding,

    women carve up their ass, into 10 flower petals With that pink anus,

    then intestinal stretching so it goes deeper…the Horrific thing is

    some women will Actually do this…now, worse, MEN will demand it, via using Guilt techniques, a.k.a. pressure to conform

    do we NOT believe, that Porn is a RA mass mind control institution? Because if we do not,

    then obviously, we are truly, screwed. No pun intended…

    hairless pubs, pink anus, big blue eyes though fake, thin starved arms and legs, rib showing stomachs, blackened raccoon eye rims via liner, huge bulbous breasts, carved buttocks…tattooed numbers on forehead,

    and we got, us a perfect society, of Sumerian Dolls, Alien style…

    standing, arms and hands folded, paying tribute, to the gods, clay empty shallow tomb bodies with butchered souls

    the Altars, they do create

    images, once in clay tablets, now being Physically carved, in the very humans, to be,

    like the ‘gods’ [according to the PORN god’s definition]

    and it’s NOT deliberate, NOT RA, think again…

    Jane

  70. elkballet February 13, 2011 at 2:11 AM #

    You break those lines up a little more and you’ve got yourself an anti-porn anti-conformity poem! I love it!

  71. Lennie March 9, 2011 at 2:26 AM #

    Jane… I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off or yell, “NOOOOOO, don’t give them any ideas!!!” I can see it now… they’ll open up a chain of “salons” where this procedure is done, and call it “Back Petal”… which will sound exactly like what womens’ rights are doing.

    Oh, what the hell, I’m laughing my ass off…

  72. Val April 25, 2011 at 7:17 AM #

    Men should just cut the pretense and admit that what they really like is homosexual sex.

    • Human July 29, 2013 at 7:54 PM #

      I am gay.

      You are wrong.
      Where did the people on this blog get the idea that they had the right to shame people for their sexual and physical desires, male or female?

      • Sugarpuss July 30, 2013 at 10:15 AM #

        Nobody is shaming anybody’s sexuality.

        Being openly gay is great. Claiming to be straight, while clearly not, isn’t great. Especially if said closet case hates on women or demands that we alter our bodies (those ugly hips!) with surgery or extreme diets to look more like a male-bodied person.

  73. A.Human August 31, 2011 at 1:03 PM #

    All very interesting. Just a point though – it seems to me that the idea of women wanting to please men is a real issue for some people here. Women have always wanted to please men. Men also want to please women… and work pretty damn hard to do that a lot of the time.The indiscriminate forces of capitalism which swarm around any desire, descend upon us all. Men too are constantly manipulated for their desire to please women, although their is no movement to protest it specifically. Viagra, penis-enlargers, men’s magazines, machoism, grooming, gym’s beyond number etc… are all thriving on men’s desire to please women. The fact that men are more sexually aggressive and visually stimulated may lead women to do seemingly absurd things to please them, but then men will also do seemingly absurd things to try and please women. Who is to say that female sensibilities are any more reasonable. I have felt very foolish attempting to be sensitive and create ambience and whisper the right things and read ‘Wuthering Heights’ so that I can ‘get’ what she’s into. But I am happy to do things that I don’t really want to, so that I can please her. There is a kind of assumption in what you have written that it is unnatural to do something for no reason other than to please somebody else, and even moreso, that if the motivation’s source is the male sex-drive, it can immediately be supposed to be somehow abominable.
    People have a lot to explore in terms of the dynamics of sex and the balance between doing what you’re not inclined to do and getting a thrill from pleasing a partner…That is a private and intimate exploration that cannot be judged so bitterly as it is here from the perspective of one gender. On a more specific note, before you denounce anal sex as a revolting whim of a porn-crazed patriarchal society, you might want to speak to some women and men who actually partake. There are some straightforward biological facts that explain its pleasurability.
    As is often the case, bitterness at this ‘patriarchal’ society has detracted from whatever truth there may be in this article.
    Let women bleach their assholes if they want to, and let men frantically work their penis-pumps and wax their arse-crack and so on. A more interesting discussion would be on why exactly porn is driving toward these new aesthetics and on whether or not it helps people to have more meaningful and enjoyable sex. I somehow think that I would end up agreeing with you a lot more on that topic. Good people have always respected each other, far beyond gender. Gender-roles will always exist. Let’s join forces and attack the system that exasperates our differences to keep us needy and suggestible, instead of showing us how much we have to offer each other in life.

  74. No Sugarcoating August 31, 2011 at 7:54 PM #

    @A. Huan. That’s all very interesting, but I have just two points to make.

    “On a more specific note, before you denounce anal sex as a revolting whim of a porn-crazed patriarchal society, you might want to speak to some women and men who actually partake.” Uhhh, like we’ve never spoken to people who do anal before? (And of course it must be that NONE OF US have ever had anal sex, since we’re not fawning over it..) DERP. Take a load of this guy, trying to convince us that it’s all good and totally not patriarchal while he also ridicules the idea of patriarchy and any take down of gender roles. It’s sad, but also hilarious, how guys make themselves look worse while trying to explain to us what nice guys they are.

    “A more interesting discussion would be on why exactly porn is driving toward these new aesthetics and on whether or not it helps people to have more meaningful and enjoyable sex. I somehow think that I would end up agreeing with you a lot more on that topic.”

    1. Patriarchy. 2. No.

  75. No Sugarcoating August 31, 2011 at 7:54 PM #

    Three guesses as to what sex “A.Human” is…if you said male, DING DING DING, you are correct! What gave it away?

    1. The condescending intro?
    2. How he goes on to make “just a point” that takes up the entirety of his post except for the introductory condescension?
    3. The rather severe case of “BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN?” in the first paragraph?
    4. When he compares “being sensitive” and reading a book to BLEACHING YOUR BUTTHOLE…..?
    5. Tells 9D what she should and shouldn’t write about?
    6. NOT HIS PRECIOUS ANAL SEX, NOOOOOO!!!!
    7. “patriarchal”
    8. “As is often the case, bitterness at this ‘patriarchal’ society has detracted from whatever truth there may be in this article.” lmfao. What truth DID you find, dude?
    9. “Gender-roles will always exist. Let’s join forces and attack the system that exasperates our differences to keep us needy and suggestible, instead of showing us how much we have to offer each other in life.” What about when he tells us fighting patriarchy is futile and that instead we should spend our time fighting….patriarchy?

  76. skeptifem August 31, 2011 at 11:33 PM #

    “Women have always wanted to please men.”

    Lesbians are women. Do they not count or something?

  77. isme September 1, 2011 at 1:18 AM #

    “Let’s join forces and attack the system that exasperates our differences to keep us needy and suggestible”

    If you want to join forces with Group X to fight oppression, it doesn’t help to lecture Group X on what their oppression really is, when you are a member of Group Y (no pun intended).

    This applies to any marginalised group, though, it’s not merely seen in men explaining sexism and feminism to women who became feminists because they were tired of putting up with sexism.

    When you are in a discussion with people who are in a position to know more than you about the topic, it’s generally a good idea to stop talking and start listening.

    However, if you are willing to admit that you might not be right, don’t take it so hard. Just about every man ever starts off believing that he knows better than women, even the ones that recognise prejudice exists tend not to recognise their own. That’s sorta of the entire point of prejudice, it’s not confined to everyone else.

    Admitting one’s own faults and shortcomings, (especially in a field in which you’ve been told all your life you’re superior and don’t need to self examine) can be awkward and embarassing, yes, but that’s growing up for you, it’s supposed to happen to everyone.

    And yes, I’m fully aware that you’ll most likely ignore what I’ve said and continue to believe your own inherent superiority like you’ve been brought up to, and go away disillusioned with feminism for not being impressed by your masculinity in the same way feminism is trying to stop.

    But there is a chance that this time when I say this, someone might actually listen for once.

  78. Sugarpuss September 1, 2011 at 11:33 PM #

    A Human said:

    Men also want to please women… and work pretty damn hard to do that a lot of the time.

    Aha hahaha! Since when has this ever happened? Male selfishness is well-documented (especially in the bedroom), and ya know, depriving women of our rights isn’t exactly a great way to put us in the mood. Dumbass.

    Viagra, penis-enlargers, men’s magazines, machoism, grooming, gym’s beyond number etc… are all thriving on men’s desire to please women.

    Bullshit. That whole ‘big dick’ thing is all about restroom competition. Men love the idea of being able to whip it out in front of other men, whilst proclaiming “Mine’s bigger than yours!!11″. As far as gyms are concerned, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Women are the target market for such things; men are too busy slamming a Whopper down their fat throats. The only exception to this rule is bodybuilders, and those dudes don’t take kindly to female invaders attempting to penetrate the sausagefest barrier. However, what I find most troubling about your little asinine analogy is that it’s not comparable, not by a long shot. Let’s assume that the average male actually bothers to workout or puts a comb through his hair on a daily basis (and I’m really stretching the suspension of disbelief by suggesting such a thing, even if it is only for the sake of an example), neither of these things are harmful or invasive. In fact, working out improves the quality of one’s life. Now, can the same be said for breast implants, botox injections, waxing, starvation diets & ass bleaching? I’m sure most sane individuals would answer “NO”. And don’t even get me started on the new, trendy vaginal surgery, where they actually remove parts of a woman’s labia… so that it will look more like the actresses in PORN. You simply cannot compare the meager (and often dismissed as “Gay”) attempts men make at altering their appearance against the wildly pervasive, bizarre and downright dangerous procedures that women are expected to put themselves through. Sorry, but this is an apples & oranges argument. You lose.

    The fact that men are more sexually aggressive and visually stimulated (…)

    You do know the difference between fact & opinion, right? Evo-psych crap is about as far from truth as you can get. If I see one more man making the false claim that they are more “visual” than women, and therefore obligated to enforce unrealistic beauty standards, I’m going to put my fist through this monitor. First of all, I must ask you… what in the HELL does the color of a woman’s asshole have to do with being visually stimulated? Do you just walk around the mall, asking random women to pull down their pants and spread their cheeks, so that you may inspect their bungholes for any signs of unacceptable skintone? Even if you are into butt-sex, do you actually stop mid-thrust, and examine your partner’s ass? I mean, who even looks at somebody’s butthole, unless you’re rimming them or something? Regardless of what the answers to those questions might be, I’d like to take the times to address the two little falsehoods that you, and other equally delusional men, continue to spew from your uneducated fingertips:

    1. Female sexuality is dictated by men. We are simply not allowed to express ourselves in an aggressive fashion, sexually or otherwise. The few who attempt to rebel against this hypocritical double-standard are dubbed as “sluts, whores & skanks”, thereby destroying their reputation, demoting them to the status of social pariah and invalidating any future legal complaints regarding sexual harassment and/or rape.

    2. Men’s freakish demands have absolutely nothing to do with visual stimulation… and everything to do with the perverted game they so enjoy playing. What game, you ask? The game of watching women jump through hoop after hoop after hoop, in a desperate attempt to reach an unachievable goal. The bar is set extra-high on purpose, so that there will never be a clear winner. Just as the blonde, double D implanted twentysomething with the bleached asshole thinks she is winning… the men will rush in and move the goalpost, again. An even more ludicrous demand will be made, and the shit-test starts all over again. When they finally get bored (and horny), the boys will award all runners-up with a super-special prize: 5-20 years of bad sex, sandwich making, sock washing, child bearing, infidelity, verbal and/or physical abuse… and yes, more unrealistic demands related to physical appearance. As I said, no woman wins that game.

    I have more to add to this topic, but I’m tired, so it will have to wait till another day.

  79. No Sugarcoating September 2, 2011 at 1:54 PM #

    +1 for truth, Sugarpuss.

  80. lizor September 3, 2011 at 9:26 AM #

    Sugarpuss, yeah it is tiring to go over all of this shit again and I thank you for your patience. It’s really great to read your clear articulate points.

  81. Zoil October 1, 2011 at 6:18 PM #

    WARNING!!!!! Bleached my butt and it burned, had several appointments and now its white. FML what was I thinking?

  82. MAry November 12, 2011 at 5:29 AM #

    Yah I officially love you. I’m gonna stick with the butt hole I was born with.

  83. ADude November 16, 2011 at 6:11 PM #

    while i’m a radical liberal feminist kind of guy (who admittedly watches porn with my girlfriend of 8 years pretty regularly), the one issue i have with this (3 year old!) blog is that it’s a an incredible over generalization. i don’t know one girl who would do something like this because a guy wanted them to and i don’t know one guy that would make, pressure, or even suggest that a girl do this. so to pretend that this is “mainstream” or some kind of systematic sexism seems absurd to me.

    i realize your point is that girls ARE in fact doing this and apparently guys ARE in fact encouraging it, but it sounds like it’s just asshole guys and stupid girls we’re talking about (forgive me for generalizing a bit here myself to make a point… there are obvious exceptions to everything we’re talking about). i mean, this seems just like the absurd fake boob fad. who actually liked them? again, i don’t think i’ve EVER talked to a guy who said that they thought big, round fake looking boobs are attractive. but yet from the mid 80’s to the mid 90’s, just about every woman who took her shirt off for a camera felt the need to get nasty fake boobs because apparently slimy porn producers were into that or something.

    i guess my only point is that i don’t think most men think it’s cool to try and get a girl to do something like this and i also think most women are strong enough individuals that they can make up their own minds about what they like and don’t like. the human race has always been dragged down a bit by assholes and idiots and always will… sad truth.

  84. Sugarpuss November 16, 2011 at 9:03 PM #

    A Dude said:

    i guess my only point is that i don’t think most men think it’s cool to try and get a girl to do something like this […]

    Wanna bet? I can produce a list as long as my arm of dudes who tried to coerce me (or a loved one) into doing things I was not comfortable with. The problem here is… what you “think” is irrelevant. You do not know other men in the same way as women know men. Are you actually trying to imply that women are just imagining all of this?

    Fucking clueless knob.

    I’d destroy the rest of your commentary, but it’s the same Grade A DudeBro idiocy I’ve come to expect from the male sex, and thus undeserving of my precious time.

  85. Sugarpuss November 16, 2011 at 9:07 PM #

    PS Free clue: Only a woman can be a RadFem. And watching porn invalidates your entire claim to such status.

  86. Hecate November 16, 2011 at 10:26 PM #

    Dude, did ya think the improper punctuation and capitalization would endear you to us, or do you really always write that way? “Like the walls in the mall are totally tall!” Are you the living incarnation of Shaggy Rogers, or what? :D Thanks for the laugh, sorta…

  87. Jesse Leon Easter November 17, 2011 at 4:44 AM #

    Jesus, people really DO that? That’s fucking ridiculous! If he’s at the point where he gets to see it, he shouldn’t care what it looks like… not if things are going well, anyway.

  88. Sugarpuss November 17, 2011 at 9:01 PM #

    Okay, I’ve finally gotten some rest after a near 48-hour insom-a-thon, so I feel like adding some additional thoughts on A Dude’s unique perspective (and by “unique” I mean 100% typical of the average self-described “male feminist”).

    1. First thing he types is an admittance to watching porn…but later denies that he (nor any of his dudely acquaintances) has ever been guilty of fetishizing surgically augmented breasts. Then he claims this is only the desire of a few “sleazy porn producers”. Uh…didn’t he just say he watches porn? LOL Last I heard, breast implants are mandatory for the vast majority of porn actresses. So, yeah…his bullshit isn’t adding up. Double-bonus point deduction for hypocrisy; yes porn producers are indeed sleazy, but so are the men who use the product. If male consumers ceased to purchase & support the porn industry, it would literally collapse overnight. I wont be holding my breathe for that wondrous occasion to transpire.

    2. Denying the validity of women’s experiences via willful ignorance must be trendy for LibDudes, these days. I keep seeing it, over & over. It’s always something along the lines of “Aw shucks…well, I don’t do that and/or I don’t know any guys that do that, therefore these women are just imagining things and/or blowing the situation out of proportion”. Problem is, I don’t buy that crap for a second. I believe most of them know exactly what Feminists are talking about, but they are trying to diffuse the situation. Men are very deceitful and determined to protect their regime; the very last thing they want is for patriarchy-compliant women to stumble upon a good RadFem blog and discover the truth. A Dude (and men like him) are just practicing damage control.

    3. I Lulz’ed really hard when I read the bit about “individuality” & “choices”. Yep, standard Liberal hogwash. As most in-the-know RadFems are already aware of…women’s choices (if you can even call it that) are limited by what men allow us to choose. If a limited set of options are all that is available, it’s a fucking no-brainer that women will be forced to pick amongst these sad crumbs, and try to fashion a workable blueprint for survival. As for individuality, it’s a concept enjoyed by men only. For every type of man, from the lowliest pauper to the wealthiest wallstreet tycoon, there is a special space carved out in society just for him. Geeks? Check. Jocks? Check. Transvestites? Check. Joe Blow with plumber’s butt? Check. Headbangers? Check. Thugs? Check. And I haven’t even covered the plethora of sexual deviants who receive lots of lovey-love from the Liberal camp. OTOH, female expressions of individuality are frowned upon if they do not support the patriarchy-mandated ideal of being a “hot chick”. In order to practice individuality without physical/verbal/psychological abuse, one must first be perceived as human. Since men have made it perfectly clear that a woman’s worth is entirely dependent on the presentation of her flesh, it’s safe to say that men do not view women as fully-developed human beings. A group of people who have been reduced to the status of cock-holster cannot practice individuality without facing substantial consequences…and I’m not talking about the inability to get laid. I’m talking about truly important things like employment discrimination, hate crimes, blackballing, harassment, etc. I’ve seen all of this & more happen to women who refuse to play the game. And since men are the owners & operators of this game, that means all women are born pawns. What choice does a pawn have, other than to move along the provided spaces, in hopes that they will be able to pass GO and collect $200?

    Long story short: Women are programmed to want what men want them to want. Being consciously aware of this fact doesn’t really change anything, though. Awareness is like a microscope in a cesspool; lots of shit being examined…but just when you think you have it all figured out, somebody flushes the toilet again. :D

  89. sneeky bunny November 18, 2011 at 12:55 AM #

    I know you won’t believe me Sugarpuss, but that was awesome.

  90. Fede November 18, 2011 at 9:01 AM #

    Excellent post, Sugarpuss.

    @ADude: I have made a copy of your post to show to my friends, seeing as it is such an exemplary example of a typical Liberal Dude’s (TM) harebrained nonsense. Thank you for the rich material! I shall treasure it always.

  91. Hecate November 18, 2011 at 12:19 PM #

    Excellent points, Sugarpuss. As always, spot-on!

    “As for individuality, it’s a concept enjoyed by men only.”

    That’s very true indeed. But I think the silver lining, if you will, is that men have not done anything particularly interesting with this incredible freedom and inclusiveness they have enjoyed for so long. When women finally win out in that respect, I think the world will truly be taken aback by what they do with similar privileged status. Or even with just being granted ‘human’ status, as you describe. For example, womyn in poor countries who are given micro loans really change things for the better in their families/ communities, while the men of the family tend to blow communal funds on gambling, alcohol and prostitutes.

    Erika Jong once mentioned that she was envious of Henry Miller, because he could travel the world freely as a male and not be harassed. I don’t know that I feel the same way. I’d be envious if they’d earned it perhaps. But they haven’t. Something that is just given and not hard won will almost always be taken for granted. I would be surprised if womyn made the same mistake. Even considering the tight, narrow and severely restricted spaces we have to navigate in both the public and private spheres, I think we’ve done well and need to give ourselves more credit. And we’ll do even better with fantastic spaces like this, in which we are not pressured to make ourselves ‘smaller’ or be the polite, good girl.

    • Gowan October 10, 2014 at 9:04 AM #

      “Erika Jong once mentioned that she was envious of Henry Miller, because he could travel the world freely as a male and not be harassed. I don’t know that I feel the same way. I’d be envious if they’d earned it perhaps. But they haven’t. Something that is just given and not hard won will almost always be taken for granted.”

      It is easy for men to believe that they have earned their travels by earning the money for it. And something taken for granted can still be enjoyable.
      I am envious and I am not ashamed of it.

  92. Hecate November 18, 2011 at 12:43 PM #

    ‘Erica’ even :D She’s clearly not one of my absolute all-time favorite writers…

  93. isme November 19, 2011 at 12:27 AM #

    “That’s very true indeed. But I think the silver lining, if you will, is that men have not done anything particularly interesting with this incredible freedom and inclusiveness they have enjoyed for so long. When women finally win out in that respect, I think the world will truly be taken aback by what they do with similar privileged status. Or even with just being granted ‘human’ status, as you describe. For example, womyn in poor countries who are given micro loans really change things for the better in their families/ communities, while the men of the family tend to blow communal funds on gambling, alcohol and prostitutes”

    IMHO, I think that’s because in addition to being allowed to be full humans, men also aren’t obliged to. There’s no requirement to responsibility, we all know that boys will be boys etc. How many times have we seen in popular culture an irresponsible manchild that wanders aimlessly around, causing problems others are happy to fix because of how oddly lovable he (always he) is? We (or at least the male audience members, the ones that count) are supposed to see these utterly useless and reprehensible characters as wish fulfillment.

    In that women, as a rule, aren’t supposed to believe that someone will always clean up their (or others that affect them) mess for them, they don’t have the luxury of ignoring problems.

    Though, that’s a generalisation of a very complicated topic I’m not an expert on, I could well be completely wrong.

  94. Sugarpuss November 20, 2011 at 6:04 AM #

    While searching for software, I ran across this: http://www.winaddons.com/why-men-make-better-friends-than-woman/

    This is a good example of the male mentality. It’s interesting to note that, while men constantly accuse women of being liars (especially with regard to all of that “false rape allegation” bullocks), they wholeheartedly embrace dishonesty with the “bros before hoes” mentality. This is precisely what I am always trying to explain to other women/girls; men cannot be trusted. Since women are viewed as sub-human inferiors, it is not considered a big deal to lie to us. In fact, the dudes find it amusing…humorous even.

    In the male mind, a lie is not a real lie unless it is told to another man (aka default human, according to patriarchy).

    This is also a good example of how women will be vilified, no matter what course of action we take. In this example, honesty is painted as disloyalty. However, if the women in the fictional scenario had covered for their friend in the same way that the male’s friends covered for him, it would be used to assert the oft-repeated “fact” that all women are dirty, lying whores.

    Men have things set up so that women are the automatic “bad guys” in every possible situation. This is why it doesn’t really matter how women behave, as men will always find a way to twist it into a negative.

    So, to any woman out there trying desperately to be the “bigger person” because you don’t want to emulate the behavior of your oppressor: YOU’RE WASTING YOUR TIME. Men will exploit your noble character and use it against you. Stop trying to be a female Jesus, and start thinking like a soldier…because this is a war. And no, you can’t serve in both armies. Many LibFems are delusional enough to believe that inclusiveness & “humanism” is a workable strategy; it is not. Save for the incredibly rare unicorn, anything born with cock-n-balls is your natural enemy. The boy’s club is exclusive for a reason; even the most submissive, dick-kissing doormat could be a double agent. Women need to adopt a similar mentality by keeping men out of Feminism; they have no place in our camp. From a strategic POV, it’s suicide.

  95. Hecate November 20, 2011 at 4:06 PM #

    “How many times have we seen in popular culture an irresponsible manchild that wanders aimlessly around, causing problems others are happy to fix because of how oddly lovable he (always he) is?”

    Yes absolutely isme, I have seen this more times than I care to count. Everyone is so willing to jump up and play ‘he’s a jolly good fellow,’ no matter what a man is caught doing. Quite the charmed life!

    I know what you mean, Sugarpuss. Women are the convenient scapegoats in this system. I suppose what I’m really trying to say, is that I feel I’ve got to do whatever I can to live a life that is pleasing and satisfactory to me, regardless of what the ‘dudes’ have to say about it. And yeah, even I chose to be a Mother Teresa type figure, you bet your bottom dollar there would be some guy out there calling me a “dirty, lying whore.” It’s very unlikely they’ll ever be able to think beyond the whole virgin/ whore dichotomy issue. But knowing that men refuse to give credit where it’s due may give me more freedom to act the way I want regardless, since it is ‘damned if I do, damned if I don’t.’

  96. Fede November 20, 2011 at 9:57 PM #

    Very true, what you all said in these last posts, isme, Sugarpuss and Hecate.

    The game is rigged. We are wasting our time trying to find a way to not lose when the truth is, being categorised as a woman is to have lost already. Does that mean we should not try for a better life? Hell no. And we do get a better life just by getting together.

    I do not know for sure that there is any possibility of a cure for the disease that is patriarchy, but I do know that trying to please and appease men is never going to topple their hate regime. The more we fall in line, the more justified they feel in oppressing us. The more we revolt, the more justified they feel in oppressing us. So our only hope is not to depend on their goodwill. We must depend on each other instead.

  97. Stephani Jones (@stopthelies1) December 8, 2011 at 6:07 AM #

    Who said anything about government or being liberal? I do not think the author said a word about that. You brought that up, so I can only surmise that you now feel that you can bring government into the bedroom and legislate our activities there as well as the rest of our lives. Who gave you permission to do that? Oh, I see you say you are afraid the ‘liberal’ writer will try to stop people from having anal sex by bringing the government into the picture. Where in god’s name do you get that idea? Sounds to me like you are afraid that someone might be trying to do that and you the pervert will be out of luck on the back door entries. Nevertheless, I assure you if the writer is indeed a ‘liberal’ as you claim, then she would most certainly NOT be thinking of bringing the government into the picture to stop people from have any kind of adult consensual sex. You ‘conservatives’ however, do it all the time. The author here is simply telling women not to be coerced into doing something stupid for the enjoyment or use of a man, like you.
    FYI, the author also did not misspell washer, she made a typing error, big difference.

  98. ruairi December 29, 2011 at 7:52 PM #

    Despite buttkickers stupid portayal of his point, I agree with some of his views. This article shows classic over compensation. I think you must have suffered a severe level of distress to be so overwhelemed with anger at women’s attempts to be attractive. Although I don’t agree with this bleaching, the way in which you have written your argument almost makes me want to agree with it – the enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of stance. How different is using chemicals around your anus to be attractive and using chemicals to make your face more attractive? Women (and to a lesser extent, men) do these things for approval, as you stated. But the problem with your statement is that you genuinely belive that ALL men ask demand this. Women are so desperate to out-shine other women and be the best that they will fall victim to every single beauty technique. If one man says he would like a woman with a different coloured anus, 100 women will bleach their anus. Although some weird men were the original cause of this, w omen are just as much to blame here far making it common. I would appreciate it if you were less of a hypocritical, over-feminist, bleached asshole.

    • Nine Deuce December 29, 2011 at 8:46 PM #

      I approved this comment only so that those who are in on The Buttkicker Secret can have a laugh.

  99. sassieQ January 10, 2012 at 5:09 PM #

    OMG…. Even though I already knew this stupid practice exists….I’m still rather alarmed that there are so many men posting their infamous curb ball way of saying they freaking love anal without always implying it. I’m so sick of this shit. Go shave your asshole with a dull razor and douche with isopropyl you pigs. I sware you’d put your dicks into anything you can just to get your jollys. How freaking intellegent is THAT?? Let’s face it…man is NO LONGER the smartest animal on the planet if puting his organ in a pipe full of shit turns him on…..and I don’t call this judgment…this is full on rebuke. How can you call yourself smart if you continually show just how weak you are in this arena?? Keep going this way assholes… find out when you’re an old, wrinkle infested, bald peice of shit with droopy balls where will your woman with the pretty pink butthole be then??? yeah… NOT with you taking off your big-assed diaper to wipe your stupid hairy brown ass.

    And shut your faces if all you can find to throw in our faces are f-ing spelling errors….your whole life is an error

  100. sassieQ January 10, 2012 at 5:12 PM #

    *intelligent lol* dammit too pissed to type right!

  101. sassieQ January 10, 2012 at 5:32 PM #

    To Reasonable: If you return to read this…you said,
    “A) Some women enjoy anal (I have received requests for it)”

    Are you so ignorant that you haven’t pondered the idea that women maybe asking you for anal due to the fact that they know YOU like it???? I suppose you believe ALL the orgasms you’ve heard from your partners we’re real??? This is exactly one point I think the author was trying to convey. We are pressured into “liking” many things FOR YOU that if we didn’t know you wanted it, we’d never even think of it. If you like women, (I don’t want to offend any of the gay community), there has been a hole created, (or evolved), for YOU! Once again… what we already are is not good enough.

  102. sassieQ January 10, 2012 at 6:09 PM #

    To Buttkicker69,

    You make me want to punch a nun and spit nails. You are so typical that you assume the author is “ugly” and this is the reason for the post and stance on the subject? Thanks for proving the author’s point dumbass. Hey Buttknuckle, get a brain before coming here to rant in caps. From what I’ve read here, these are some damn intelligent women that even if they are “pretty”, it’s NOT TO PLEASE YOU! And if they are considered “ugly”, it would only be a judgment based on an individual preference. Ever heard “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, or, “beauty is only skin deep”. How about yea I don’t give a shit what they look like! They are brilliant and THAT alone makes them beautiful. YOU ARE exactly what we are trying to get away from. Who gives a shit what you think? You make me sick. I’ve wasted enough time proving how stupid you are. Go wax your ass jerk.

  103. harley cullen January 14, 2012 at 10:58 AM #

    This is of the better rants I have read in a long time. The fact is ur right men are pigs and a majority of women still feel compelled to have there approval. Although I must say I have a birth defect that makes me look extremely diff from the normal mold tat women expect from the neck up as well so the point I’m trying to make is that women also have shallow opinions of dorky muscled up men which they look to marry for money or there looks not there intellectual input or views on things.

  104. Man Vs. Woman February 20, 2012 at 2:42 PM #

    Hello.
    I am a man, 32. I do not want to add to the discussion about anal bleaching. I have never really thought that what people do to their own bodies was much of my business.
    I just want to say that if the color of your partners butthole matters that much to you, you are in trouble. You are not seeing you’re partner for the glorious, wonderful lover and friend that she could be. Women, if your partner is over-concerned with the size of your breasts or the color of your (ahem!) butthole, then you should find a man with whom you can enjoy a more fulfilling and loving relationship.
    It’s sad reading these comments and seeing a big Man vs. Woman mentality. None of us would be here if it wasn’t for the very natural sexual union between man and woman; but we wouldn’t be having this discussion if that union wasn’t being undervalued and under appreciated by both sides. Women: Men are not scum and we do not control the Earth. At least I don’t. I think that, in an attempt to market goods to us and keep us peaceable consumers, we have been consistently lied to and told exactly who we ought to be. In this sick day and age of marketing, men, women, and even children are constantly pigeon-holed into categories and fed media images and messages that intend to conform people into marketable groups. In addition, the values these companies (not just the porn industry, virtually ALL marketable industry) purport serve only a weak minded, easily controlled populace of passive consumers. The sad thing is that they are so good at it that a great deal of us throw up our hands and say: “You got it! I’m a patriarchal asshole. Jealous, angry, and ready to throw down to prove my manhood. Also, I need to collect notches in my headboard, or I won’t have anything to brag about while me and my jock pals down brew-skis and pick fights!”
    And Women agree and say: “I’m just a helpless pretty thing. Too dumb to be paid equally, but that’s okay, cause my man will buy me a drink. As long as I have a bleached butt and a big rack, I won’t need intelligence and a decent income or self-reliability.”
    Hey. Don’t blame people. Blame our out-of-control consumer driven corporate culture. They have advertised this mentality to us. The really sad thing is that a majority of people are buying into it.

  105. isme February 21, 2012 at 2:57 AM #

    “Men are not scum and we do not control the Earth. At least I don’t”

    Er, if you feel the need to come in and deny being part of the problem, you are probably part of the problem.

    “Don’t blame people. Blame our out-of-control consumer driven corporate culture.”

    That is no kind of defence. You’ll note that the culture sorta requires people for it to, you know, exist.

  106. lizor February 21, 2012 at 10:23 AM #

    “Hey. Don’t blame people. Blame our out-of-control consumer driven corporate culture.”

    Um, hunh?

    Where does corporate culture come from, M vs.W?? It did not emerge from the primordial forest. It is an invention of humans and a product of a male-dominated culture. The people who control and profit from consumer-driven corporate culture (ccdc) are, with very few exceptions, men.

    Yeah, I know that everyone is adversely affected by ccdc, but one gender profits notably more and is suffers significantly less harm. I won’t trot out the horrific stats on rape, trafficking and spousal abuse and murder (as many fatalities at the hands of husbands and boyfriends as the fatalities in Afghanistan and Iraq per year). If you actually do give a shit, you’ll find that information.

    Who is doing the beating and pimping and raping? Men are doing those things and the fact of patriarchy does not relieve them of responsibility for their actions.

    If you actually care about any of this, why don’t you quit lecturing us on how “sad” this discussion is and get out there and work to encourage your fellow men to be responsible human beings and quit being power-mongering abusers.

  107. Fede February 21, 2012 at 11:31 AM #

    I wouldn’t say all men are scum, Man, 32, but you definitely are.

  108. Hecate February 21, 2012 at 1:46 PM #

    So true, lizor. The rapey quality of corporate culture is definitely proof enough to me. It’s a bit like this entry on my anti-Apple blog I wrote regarding Women’s Day:

    http://applepermatemps.blogspot.com/search/label/women%27s%20day

    I fought a considerable beast working in the bowels of Apple, so only have that blog for now. A feminist one may be in the works, though this one is the best as far as I’m concerned :) There are several entries in the blog, which I feel make it clear that patriarchy and corporatism are one and the same, including the most recent post.

  109. suzanne June 1, 2012 at 1:28 AM #

    I keep finding myself wishing for a “like” button. So many of you, Sugarpuss, Nine Deuce, Isme, Hecate, Lizor, Sassie Q, (at least on this thread) and perhaps some others… I am so touched to see that the injustice of this reaches other women, I am so happy that so many others have seen through the layers of bullshit piled on us by men. The brainwashing has been so thorough, that not all are aware of it! I’m so sorrowful that the young are so taken with this. It’s a step back from even what I have known. I had Tawny Kittein(not sure of spelling) and the Cherry Pie girl, but compared to todays idols, they were living free. I hope to see feminism growing and more aware of the threat around us. I am so worn out from living an ideal that isn’t mine. I admire those of you that are so articulate, and have such well thought out points. Thank you for giving me a glimmer of hope. I am so glad I am not alone. It is bad enough removing, or altering every hair on our bodies, but to step beyond and have to live up to an asshole ideal?! No! I will not bleach my asshole!!!!!!!

  110. Rachel June 8, 2012 at 3:53 AM #

    It’s very telling that SO MANY DUDES have commented on this particular missive. Many must have been searching the interporn for “ANAL” for their sad, hourly wank-fests and stumbled upon this awesome blog! Hahahahaaa…tools.

    9/2 this blog rocks! Thank you!

  111. Kelly June 23, 2012 at 5:29 AM #

    You are completely right! It’s ridiculous the standards women have to follow to be “sexy” these days with all these insane surgeries for every body part and now anal bleaching too. I agree with you that porn is to blame since it’s a billion dollar industry and most men watch clown looking females doing the nastiest of things to arouse them. Real women are trying to live up to all the fake big boobs and now even fake butts just to be considered sexy. There are women asking for advice on how to practice deep throating a guy because they keep gagging and can’t do it. Obviously your body is rejecting it because it’s not meant to do this and yet guys asks for girlfriends to try it and girls do I because their boys are always watching porn. It’s completely unnessecary and yet so many women are following these trends and those who don’t are not considered sexy. Obviously men are pullin our insecurity strings in order to control us and make us do what they want. Men make it seem that we are the ones who want big boobs, butt, lips, pink butt holes etc. when really we are doing it just to please them. If I bleached my anus, I won’t be the one seeing it during sex so how would that be for me?

  112. lizor June 25, 2012 at 12:03 PM #

    “Sex” as dictated by the porn propaganda machine is war on the female body. It is so deeply f**ked up that any of us will pay to have these kinds of procedures done to ourselves. And the more porn we imprint ourselves with (whether it’s hardcore, fashion magazines or even passing a lingerie store window display), the more we find ways to get off on this sickness.

  113. Dylan Woods December 20, 2012 at 6:29 PM #

    Hi. I’m a young male. I’ve been reading the comments, and I’m interested by people’s views on anal sex. So, I had never particularly wanted to have anal sex with a female, but one day my girlfriend brought it up. She had never done it before, and asked me if I would be willing to do it for her. I am bisexual, and have been anally penetrated before; I had enjoyed it myself, so I was willing to do it for her because if I could give her the pleasure I got from it, that would make me happy. She enjoyed the experience, and it was a bonding moment for us because it had to be done very slowly and gently to be pleasurable. She gave me a hug afterwards and we cuddled. It became something we did together on occasion, when she was in the mood. As a bisexual male, I understand that anal is for many people not something that can be done too frequently, but can be very sexually rewarding when in the right state of mind. I understand that not all women want to have anal sex, and I wouldn’t want to have anal sex with someone who didn’t want to. I wouldn’t want to have any sex with someone who didn’t want to, because for me the greatest enjoyment I get sexually is out of pleasing my partner. Looking at the comments, it seems like many people here think anal sex is necessarily coercive, and one of the commentators even said that all anal sex is rape. Was I wrong to have anal sex with her? Should I have said no to her? I just want to do the right thing, and sometimes reading this site makes me feel guilty for sex acts I have done before. These are sex acts that my partners have asked of me, and that I have done not out of my own desire, but the desire to please them and make them happy.

  114. Sugarpuss December 21, 2012 at 1:48 PM #

    Dear Dylan Woods,

    Of course you like anal sex…you’re a biological male…with a PROSTATE GLAND. And just because your GF asked you to have anal sex with her, that doesn’t mean that it was something that she genuinely wanted (many women are very self-sacrificing, and do things to ‘please their man’, even if it’s excruciatingly uncomfortable). Given your sexual history, I find it hard to believe that she was the one who brought it up. Men have a knack for lying about this sort of thing, and saying shit like “But….it was her idea!111!”. Suuuure it was. No coercion what-so-ever. The fact that you liked getting probed up Hershey Road (because prostate, duh!) had nada to do with it. Mmmmm-Hmmmmmm.

    I’ll buy your bridge if you’ll fix the cruise control on my magic carpet.

  115. isme December 21, 2012 at 10:17 PM #

    For my part, I wouldn’t say that anal sex is inherently wrong. However, it comes with an awful lot of cultural baggage. Of course, so does any sexual activity, but this more than most. It’s viewed as more abusive and degrading, and popular in no small part because of that. Even people who do not (nominally) share those views have grown up in the same culture as people who do, it’s something to be very aware of.

  116. Dylan Woods December 23, 2012 at 2:03 AM #

    @Sugarpuss

    I’m sorry if my gender causes you not to believe me, but I’m just trying to do the right thing and looking for honest advice. I never brought it up to her or had a particular desire to do it. I like being penetrated by a man, as you say, because of my prostate gland, but I’ve never had a particular desire to have anal sex with a woman. One day she brought it up, and when I told her I would do it for her she gave me a big hug and seemed very happy. I feel bad if she was only doing it for me, but I don’t know why she would think I wanted to do it because I never mentioned it. Perhaps society instilled in her that she should do it for me, it’s possible, but I respected her decision and wanted to do it for her, because I believe she would do the same for me. If this conversation ends with you not believing me because of my gender, I guess we have nothing left to discuss; but assuming I’m not lying and she really did want to have anal sex, what should I have I done? Should I have told her no? Or should I have said yes because it’s what she asked me to do? How do I do the right thing?

  117. Sugarpuss December 25, 2012 at 5:25 PM #

    I’m sorry if my gender causes you not to believe me[…]

    Gender is a social construct, and was never mentioned in my comment. I was referring to your SEX. You know, biology 101? Oh, and I’m sorry my femaleness causes men to call me bitch, whore & cunt…but I am forced to live with that. So you can drop the ‘poor me’ routine.

    One day she brought it up […]

    Uh-huh. I’ll bet she got down on her knees and begged for a sperm facial too, right?

    I don’t know why she would think I wanted to do it […]

    Gee… where would a modern woman get that idea from? It couldn’t possibly be because mainstream media is saturated with pornified programming tactics for women, now could it? By the way, have you ever heard the KISS song You’ve got nothing to lose?

    […]but I respected her decision and wanted to do it for her[..]

    Okay… you can stop pulling my fucking leg, now. At this point, you’re just insulting my intelligence.

    Seriously? FUCK OFF.

  118. Dylan Woods December 26, 2012 at 7:59 AM #

    I apologize for using the wrong term. I’ll correct myself. I’m sorry my biological sex causes you not believe me. I’m willing to entertain the idea that she had no real desire to do it, but that still doesn’t answer my question. I’d like to make the moral choice in the future if this situation ever comes up again. In the future, if a women asks me to do anal with her, what should I do? I can talk to her to make sure it’s something she really wants to do for herself, which I did before, but what if she still insists? In your view, which is the right choice for me? I want to be a good person and don’t want to do something anti-feminist, but this is a dilemma. Either, I say no, meaning I’m not respecting her choice or fulfilling my responsibility as a partner to please her sexually. Or, I say yes, which, according to some of the comments here, is either rape or highly questionable. It seems no matter how I approach this situation, I may be doing something anti-feminist. Is there any way for me to do the right thing?

  119. Dylan Woods December 26, 2012 at 8:11 AM #

    @isme

    Thank you for your comment. I agree that anal can be degrading and harmful. I don’t think anal should ever be pushed on anyone, which is why I’ve never asked someone to do it. To try and make sure my girlfriend really wanted to do it for herself, I discussed it with her after she asked me to do it. She was so happy I was open to the idea that she gave me a hug and we had a long cuddle. In your view, should I have said no to her? or should I was I right to have said yes? I feel conflicted, because if I say no I’m not respecting her decision and sexual desire, but if I say yes, I may be doing something immoral. I want to make the right, pro-feminist decision.

    • ROSAPARKS July 7, 2013 at 3:02 AM #

      The RIGHT pro-feminist thing to do would be to leave our sister alone, as you probably don’t deserve her. I have a strong feeling that you used some mind games to get her to ask this question in the first place, how typical of a sex-obsessed MANWHORE. How typical of the patriarchy, put so much pressure on a woman that SHE MUST ask to have herself VIOLATED to PLEASE A MAN. Your entire gender is SICK, I would barely place them above brutish apes, if it weren’t for the skill and glee they take in psychologically torturing us to get what they want.

      Why did you come on this blog into OUR SPACE? The only supposed place that we have left to discuss things in a civil manner without MEN RUINING it, as they do everything. Yet you men ENTITLED as you are, feel the need to lecture us THE OPPRESSED on how you really just want to please us and that you CARE about our feelings. ALL OF YOU ARE SCUM.

      Yours TRUTHFULLY,
      Rosa Parks

      • Sugarpuss July 7, 2013 at 8:27 PM #

        ROSAPARKS (great name, btw)…

        You….fucking…. ROCK!!!

  120. Sugarpuss December 29, 2012 at 3:19 PM #

    In the future, if a women asks me to do anal with her, what should I do?

    For some reason, I’m having trouble imaging you being faced with such a dilemma.

    Go away, troll. You’re not half as amusing as you think you are.

  121. Sugarpuss December 29, 2012 at 3:20 PM #

    Imagining*

  122. isme December 29, 2012 at 11:43 PM #

    “For some reason, I’m having trouble imaging you being faced with such a dilemma. ”

    With respect, there are women that profess to like anal sex. Whether they do, whether they have been convinced that they do or that they should, it’s no unreasonable to expect the issue to come up in a sexual relationship, nor is it impossible that it is a woman that broaches the topic.

  123. lizor January 1, 2013 at 9:47 AM #

    Article on health aspects of having porn compliant pubes (or lack thereof):

    “Some clinicians are finding that freshly shaved pubic areas and genitals are also more vulnerable to herpes infections due to the microscopic wounds being exposed to virus carried by mouth or genitals. It follows that there may be vulnerability to spread of other STIs as well.

    Pubic hair does have a purpose, providing cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, protection from bacteria and other unwanted pathogens, and is the visible result of long awaited adolescent hormones, certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.”

    http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/04/war-pubic-hair.html

  124. Jasmin January 1, 2013 at 8:31 PM #

    To Genevieve, who has apparently managed to nestle herself in an alternate reality: Men are under just as much pressure as women are to look good.

    I’ve known women who wouldn’t date men who didn’t wear make-up or straighten their hair. I have known MORE THAN ONE woman who has demanded that her boyfriend undergo cosmetic surgery on his genitals (because she didn’t like his foreskin or the harmless papules on the head of his penis freaked her out). I’ve certainly known women who demanded anal bleaching.

    I have known all kinds of men who have been treated like shit for being overweight, underweight, not buff enough, too short, too hairy, buck-toothed, hawk-nosed, unfashionable, etc.

    But I have seldom met a man who had a complaint more despicable than “would you please brush your teeth today?” or “please stop shitting with the door open”. And the ones I have met, I simply left alone.

    You live in a fairy-tale land if you think women are treated worse than men. If anything, they’re the shallow ones. Why do you think the ones who bleach their butt-holes do it in the first place? Because THEY put appearance on a pedestal. THEY think it’s important. And they gravitate towards like-minded men.

    Meanwhile, the women who don’t give a flying troll nipple ignore the demands of the shallow and superficial and are able to find the other men and women who also don’t give a flying troll nipple. Non-givers-of-troll-nipples exist. I think you just want something to bitch about.

    As for OP: Who demanded that you have anal sex? Was he very persistent about it? I’m sorry if that’s the case. Not all men are like that. In fact, mine is so scared he’ll hurt me that I have to beg HIM. Please don’t write as though they’re all disgusting, rabid perverts.

    Women are not brainwashing victims. We are all responsible for our own decisions and priorities.YOU undermine women more than objectification ever could by saying that they are controlled by their need for male acceptance. They are not. They’re just vacant beyond their looks and a pretty pink butt-hole is all they have to offer society.

    Keeping it ever on an even keel,

    Jasmin

  125. Sugarpuss January 3, 2013 at 9:05 PM #

    My post was ate!

    Jasmin said:

    Men are under just as much pressure as women are to look good.

    HAHAHAHAHAHSHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!1!!!!111!!!!!!!

    Now THAT is the biggest fucking lie ever published on the internet. It is a statement so incredibly ludicrous that it doesn’t even deserve a rebuttal. Gee… where are all those male supermodels at? Gee… how come men aren’t airbrushed to a mannequin finish in fitness magazines? Gee…. how come Kevin Smith, his belly, and his ugly friends have a show on AMC? Gee…. how come I never see ads for botox in men’s magazines? Gee…. how come I never see men with pectoral implants? And I could go ON and ON and FUCKING ON. In fact, if I DID go on, this comment would have a 1,000,000,000,000 word count. I don’t know what planet you live on, but here on Earth, a woman’s worth is judged ENTIRELY by her appearance, while men are allowed to live, work, eat and breath in an environment that nurtures & coddles their privileged asses….regardless of what they look like. The fact that you could even utter something so entirely untrue and so far removed from reality is really mind-numbing. I wont even bother to address the other crap you scrawled out there; it’s just too fucking ridiculous to be taken seriously. Your fictional world, where men are expected to uphold beauty standards, as women are, exists only in your imagination.

  126. Sugarpuss January 3, 2013 at 9:12 PM #

    @ isme: I wasn’t talking to you. In the future, I expect you to return the favor. DO NOT speak to me… ever. I despise male feminists, especially the sneaky ones. Never speak to me again.

  127. Sugarpuss January 4, 2013 at 4:05 PM #

    I’d just like to share a wonderful moment with everyone! I just had the most A-MAZING bowel movement! It’s always great to use my anus for that which it was designed. And I fucking KNOW men hate to hear about a woman being comfortable and using her body in a natural way.

    Is shitting a Feminist action? You bet your ass it is! Just say NO to the “ladylike” mindset, which was destined to strip us of our humanity. It’s very taboo for any female-bodied person to speak about anything other than urination (or puking up food to be size 00), but men are allowed (encouraged even!) to describe, in extremely graphic detail, their shit, snot, boogers, farts, toe jam, etc..If women were acknowledged to be human beings, this biased rule would not exist. Case and point: if a man farts in the airport, some people will give him *the look*, but most (especially other men) will grin, nod, and even possibly give him a high five. But what happens when a woman farts in an airport? Do I even need to describe it? For most women, just reading that and thinking about the situation makes them extremely anxious & uncomfortable. Why? Because farting is for humans, and non-human lifeforms (women) were designed to exist only to provide pleasure to men. Think about how fat women are trying to make fat “sexy”, in order to receive permission from men to exist. The same goes for disabled women, black women, older women and many other “outcast” types. It seems that the ticket to acceptance is for a woman to turn her “flaw” into a perversion; a kink to which some scumbag can jerk off to…because that it what women are; masturbation aides…not a fully formed being in our own right. The satellites who orbit Planet Dude.

  128. pinkstinks January 8, 2014 at 4:50 PM #

    @sugarpuss: all three of your posts above were spot on. I am so sick of hearing how “men suffer from appearance woes just as much”. Usually the person whining is either a woman who spends her life critiquing her own appearance and the appearance of those who aren’t cis men, a dude who equates the worth of those he deems women to be directly proportionate to his judgment of their appearance, or gay cis men (who seriously hate women and trans people just as much as dudebros in my experience) who spew looksist crap and unwanted “beauty advice” in the direction of all who are known to have not been born with the organ they so worship. Most gay men are sexist and transphobic terrors who seem to get a pass by everyone except me. I have no idea why, because the only difference between straight dudebro assholes and gay cis men is that the former enjoys raping people they find so inferior, while the latter believes they are so superior in that they’d never go near that “icky part”. Same hate, different flavor. Neither group attributes full humanity to anyone except cis men.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Thirteenth Carnival of Radical Feminists « Shut Up, Sit Down - April 20, 2008

    […] scathing rant, this time against the beauty and pornography industries, from Nine Deuce with There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole posted at Rage Against the Man-chine. Her rage is contagious: “The fucking ARROGANCE of these […]

  2. Thirteenth Carnival of Radical Feminists « Carnival of Radical Feminists - August 24, 2008

    […] scathing rant, this time against the beauty and pornography industries, from Nine Deuce with There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole posted at Rage Against the Man-chine. Her rage is contagious: “The fucking ARROGANCE of these […]

  3. More LOL than WTF | Real Talk. Girl Talk. - January 19, 2012

    […] -Anal Bleaching During Annie and Lillian’s big fight they start screaming about anal bleaching. I think this is supposed to be funny, because it isn’t very “fight” like, but they’re screaming it at each other. The problem being that talking about doing it and putting it in a positive light (“I LOVE my new asshole!”) which reinforces another ridiculous and impossible standard for women borne from pornography. There is NO REASON to bleach your butthole. […]

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