Diablo Cody sucks. A lot.

5 Mar

Dude, what is the fucking deal with people who call themselves Diablo? One of my friends who has an office job, and hence spends hours a day turning the internet purple, asked me yesterday what I thought of Diablo Cody, to which I said, “No idea, but I think his name is stupid.” I didn’t know who Diablo Cody was, and I wish I still didn’t, because doing a cursory ten seconds of Google research on this Diablo Cody person has convinced me that the world is going to end soon.

Apparently he’s a she, and she’s written a book about the experiences she had during her experimental year-long stint as a stripper, experiences she had already put down in a blog called “Pussy Ranch” (so, so clever). She’s also written some movie called Juno that I plan to never see, mainly because it’s one of these stupid blockbuster award-winning pseudo-indie films that’s supposed to make me have some kind of emotion that only comes naturally to half-wits and teenagers. A friend has summed Juno up for me by saying, “The most compelling character in the movie was a telephone shaped like a hamburger.” I wasn’t going to see it in the first place, but now that I know something about the person who wrote it, I might have to put it on my list of movies that I will never, ever lay eyes on (which includes the Matrix and Lord of the Rings trilogies).

Diablo Cody is some woman who grew up with a place to live, enough to eat, a bunch of toys, a good education, and a stable home environment, which makes her an “unlikely stripper,” according to herself. She fancied herself a feminist while in college “mainly because she didn’t strip,” as one interviewer put it. But those feminist ideals she had in college, those ones that revolved around not stripping, transformed once she graduated and moved to Minneapolis, where she decided that, “If there was ever a time to strip, it was just the right time. I was almost too old but still young enough, and I didn’t have to worry about running into friends and family.”

She apparently had decided to strip as a sort of sociological experiment in order to gain insight into strippers’ socioeconomic backgrounds and the psychology of the men who pay them to prostitute themselves. Either that or she had finally seen the light: “I wish I had the foresight to strip in college. I would have made mad money. But I fancied myself above stripping.” Maaaad money, son. Whatever her motivation for giving up on her anti-stripping feminist ideals, she really learned something from her stint as a sex worker. She learned that “feminism is about choices and refusing to accept stereotypes”. How insightful of her. In fact, Cody figured out that sex work was actually more of a feminist career path than office work: “I actually found the white collar jobs a lot more anti-feminist. I found myself shoehorned into the adorable secretary who fetched older men’s coffee. I would much rather give lap dances.”

Jesus CHRIST! I don’t even know where to start, except by saying that I hope Diablo Cody dies soon. She’s basically a spokesmodel for the Suicide Girl takeover of American culture and the simplistic and obviously logically flawed ideas behind “sex-positive” “feminism,” which is why America loves her so much. She’s basically telling everyone what they want to hear: when women get naked for money, it’s because they choose to, not because they are born and bred in an exploitative patriarchal system that objectifies and commodifies their bodies and sexuality. When women get naked for money, they’re having a good time, not succumbing to the reality that they’ve been presented with a set of options that are vastly more limited than the set of options that their male counterparts enjoy. When women get naked for money, it’s a fucking party, not a symptom of the fact that they’ve absorbed the cultural message that their only power and worth lies in their ability to induce boners.

I can’t even believe that a person who calls herself an “unlikely stripper” because she comes from a “normal” background can actually claim that sex work is about choices, but she does. If sex work is a choice, it’s a choice made from a set of unappealing options, options that are limited by being female, are further limited by being born poor and/or being born into an abusive environment, and are even further limited by a lack of education. The fact that this fucking arrogant, unthoughtful, privileged asshole can keep a straight face while calling sex work a choice makes me want to choke someone.

Diablo Cody really is an insidious motherfucker. She’s a sell-out extraordinaire, an agent of patriarchal exploitation disguised as an advocate for women’s freedom and equality. And not only that, she’s a sign that the English language is in serious danger. Her writing is unfuckingbelievably bad, is rife with stupid puns and rhymes about rappers and blogging, and somehow manages to fail utterly at even its lowly attempt at titillation, tending instead toward ludicrously trite salaciousness.

I hate Diablo Cody. You should too.


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42 Responses to “Diablo Cody sucks. A lot.”

  1. syndicalist702 March 5, 2008 at 1:55 PM #

    Diablo Cody, and people like her, are the Uncle Toms of feminism.

  2. Nine Deuce March 5, 2008 at 3:27 PM #

    Amen.

  3. K B April 23, 2008 at 6:42 AM #

    Good analogy, Syndical.

    You know, that’s kind of depressing. I hate when I get reasons to hate the things I wasn’t sure I wanted to like.

  4. Butters April 26, 2008 at 4:57 PM #

    You can completely disagree with her ideas and ridicule her all you want, but wishing an early death upon her is just messed up. There are far more people out there deserving of an early death than her.

  5. Nine Deuce April 26, 2008 at 5:07 PM #

    Butters – I wasn’t actually serious. I don’t hope anyone dies. I just use some rhetorical extremism at times for impact/comedy’s sake.

  6. Jess April 27, 2008 at 1:32 AM #

    Jesus, it was just a fucking movie. Why get so worked up about it?

  7. Nine Deuce April 27, 2008 at 1:36 AM #

    Jess – Did you even read the post? Or are you just too stupid to have gotten the point? I don’t give a shit about the movie. What bothers me is that this idiot Diablo Cody is calling herself a feminist, and thereby reducing the fight for women’s equality and human rights to the question of whether or not getting naked for money is cool.

    New rule: if you didn’t read the whole post, your opinion doesn’t matter.

  8. A brain washed teen April 27, 2008 at 5:23 PM #

    Although she sounds like a total cunt, the film Juno was class. Probably more due to the awesome acting, but meh.

    This reminds me of when a strip club was opened up in a town near mine and there uproar because we’re like, the family oriented tourist part of england, and there’s no place for something like that. But then they spun it as an act of feminism, of course forgetting we live in the poorest part of the country, with the highest rate of teenage pregnancy, so the girls dancing on those poles have no other options.

  9. You guys will all hate me April 27, 2008 at 6:55 PM #

    Well.
    Maybe stripping IS a choice.
    Not for all, but for some.
    Is it really that bad, that “degrading” to dance, as a stranger, naked? Sure, you’re sexualizing yourself, but that’s what you choose to do. The patriarchy isn’t FORCING you to, unless you were, say, sold into it.
    And about this quote: “I actually found the white collar jobs a lot more anti-feminist. I found myself shoehorned into the adorable secretary who fetched older men’s coffee. I would much rather give lap dances.”
    It’s true. Being a sex object in disguise as an office worker, as a part of an office worker, being not what you want, is much worse than outright doing your job as one.
    Saying that by being a sex worker, you’re degrading yourself and making yourself an object just for sex, is degrading in itself. If you’re a secretary, does that mean all you’re worth is typing and licking envelopes?
    Only you can decide what you’re worth.

  10. A brain washed teen April 27, 2008 at 7:44 PM #

    You guys will all hate me – No, the media is deciding for us. All we’re worth is how hot our bodies are? Please. I think if the sex industry was more fairly balanced then maybe you might have a point, if there were the same amount of male strip bars with women ogling mens goodies, but there isn’t. It’s all about how women should be sex objects and that if your prude of a girlfriend/wife won’t give you the lap dance you deserve you can go on down to your local strip club and use women as much as you like, and hey, there’s some hookers waiting on corner for you afterwards, coz let’s face it, they’re doing it by choice aren’t they? Which makes it ok.

    All this is just designed to make men feel less guilty about doing this sort of stuff.

    And I just don’t get comparing a stripper to a secretary, that’s a job that you can at least work up from, you ca get somewhere and do you really think it’s more degrading then shaking your goodies in someone’s face?

    That woman’s not a new wave feminist, she’s deluded that her self worth derives from how good she looks. I’d like to see how well she’s doing in ten years time when her boobs are starting to sag and she’s starting to get winkles.

  11. pisaquaririse April 27, 2008 at 7:49 PM #

    “Sure, you’re sexualizing yourself, but that’s what you choose to do. The patriarchy isn’t FORCING you to, unless you were, say, sold into it.”

    See some of us believe that, sans, patriarchy, there would be *no way* to sexualize one’s self. Or desire to.

  12. phaedra April 28, 2008 at 2:05 AM #

    Just so you know…Juno was really terrible. The acting was great, but its biggest weakness was the godawful script, and of all the film’s elements, *that* is what won all the awards? Jesus Christ.

    And I don’t care how lovably hip or ironic a young girl is, I don’t believe that ANYbody would possibly be as blasé as the pregnant teen in Diablo’s script.

  13. madaha May 24, 2008 at 9:30 PM #

    I totally have the same instincts about Juno. And Diablo Cody, ew.

    But just wanted to take a minute and say you are damn right about the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I made the mistake of going against my instincts and seeing them, and a bigger pretentious, bad CGI, unintentionally funny, undeveloped characters, bad plotted, dragging, boring, takes itself SO seriously mess I have NEVER SEEN.

    Just had to get that out.

  14. Nine Deuce May 24, 2008 at 10:47 PM #

    I knew I wasn’t the only one.

  15. Mortality May 25, 2008 at 6:06 PM #

    Talking about LotR movies, this parody is fun: http://mollyringwraith.livejournal.com/5635.html even if the author likes the movies.

  16. Jane May 31, 2008 at 11:36 PM #

    I know this doesn’t have anything to do with the original post but does anyone have any good movie recommendations? As in substance and no nudity for the sake of it?

  17. Nine Deuce June 1, 2008 at 12:58 AM #

    Welcome to the Dollhouse.

  18. Ariel July 31, 2008 at 10:56 PM #

    One of my pet peeves is privileged women trying to earn their ‘street cred’ or piss off their parents at the expense of disadvantaged, often abused women. It makes me sick. I’ve worked in both the ‘the sex industry’ as a prostitute (as a result of previous sexual abuse, depression, drug and alcohol abuse and poverty), and when I was lucky enough to get out of it I worked as a cleaner of toilets and other lowly paid, so-called ‘female’ jobs. While not ideal, at least I was not being raped, beaten, abused, harassed and degraded for my money, which has left me with a physical disease and worsened my mental illness (chronic depression and anxiety). There is no equivalence between working in ‘the sex industry’ and other menial jobs, believe me. I would rather clean shit off toilet bowls for the rest of my days than do the things I had to do in prostitution. I saw Diablo Cody’s book in a bookshop once, opened it and read just a few pages. She described, sexism, degradation, humiliation and enslavement to the owners of the strip bar where she worked. She is either in deep denial if she thinks that’s feminist or she really has no idea what feminism is at all.

  19. zobabe73 August 14, 2008 at 8:35 AM #

    syndicalist702
    “Uncle Toms of feminism.” Can we call them “Auntie Anns,” after a certain well known colluder? (No offense to anyone else named Ann)

  20. wiggles September 7, 2008 at 7:54 AM #

    Quincineara was a much better, more realistic movie about a pregnant teenager. In that one, the main character is actually faced with the stigmas and double-standards that pregnant girls are the brunt of. Juno had some cute moments, but it was this idealistic Utopian vision in which no one slut-shames a pregnant teenager and it’s a foregone conclusion that the guy who got her pregnant will be eagerly supportive and take a fair share of responsibility.
    ‘twould be nice, if only.

  21. isme September 20, 2008 at 7:51 AM #

    “Diablo Cody is some woman who grew up with a place to live, enough to eat, a bunch of toys, a good education, and a stable home environment, ”

    Well, in that case, wasn’t it her “choice” to become a stripper? She presumably doesn’t realise that not everyone comes from the same privileged background that she does.

    Oh…and…”Diablo”? Did her parents want her to grow up to be a supervillainess or something?

  22. Laurel November 9, 2008 at 10:33 PM #

    I just saw Juno–under duress–and I hate Miss Fakeyname so, SO much more now.

  23. alex December 30, 2008 at 8:16 PM #

    I didn’t have much of an opinion about her, but I hate her now.
    I hate anyone who uses the phrase “feminism is about choice” and rationalize everything.

  24. Aileen Wuornos March 12, 2009 at 9:38 AM #

    I don’t find myself agreeing with some of what you’ve said about sex work, however, having said that. I really, really fucking hate Diablo Cody + agree with pretty much everything else you have said.

    • Nine Deuce March 12, 2009 at 12:40 PM #

      My views on a lot of that have changed since I wrote this. Since I’ve been blogging I’ve had more contact with actual sex workers and have gotten a slightly different perspective (though I still think Diablo Cody is an asshole). Thanks for reading!

      • Aileen Wuornos March 12, 2009 at 1:47 PM #

        Haha, yes, she certainly is still an asshole is one of the many reasons why I would refuse to see Juno, or any other shit she could churn out from the septic sore that is her brain.
        It’s good to know that even though you are so very grounded in your convictions, you are still open to other attitudes/values (well, that’s what I’ve got from reading your blog so far) and that your wit is backed by a developed sense of humor ;)

  25. teandoranges April 1, 2009 at 2:46 AM #

    to isme: diablo is her stripper/pen-name.

    Here in Minneapolis we have had D.Cody shoved down our throats. I’ve watched Juno, and could live without it. She’s a unique writer, but i found it overly-contrived and along the lines of trying-too-hard… which reminds me of her work as a stripper too. I agree that women are enslaved by certain roles, and know more than a few ex-strippers… some who chose stripping more than others… some who used stripping as a form of therapy… and some who need therapy as a result of stripping. I did amateur night at a neo-burlesque, and have spent a lot of time thinking about what it would take to strip. There is a certain level of brainwashing that makes it possible to talk oneself into doing pretty much anything demeaning… yet, what’s demeaning for one person can be empowering for another. At the very least, what “Diablo” says gets people talking about stripping, bad dialogue and female roles.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/22/fashion/22fempire.html?_r=1&ref=style&pagewanted=all

  26. Lollipop Gomez April 5, 2009 at 6:39 PM #

    If you read the entire book, you see that Diablo actually did have conflicting feelings about her stripping. It wasn’t all fun for her. I think, overall, she doesn’t want to present the idea that all strippers are miserable and enslaved, which is why she’ll present a positive face to the media. But in the book its far more complicated.

    It’s also worth noting that despite the fact that she was able to turn her blog into a book deal and sell her screenplay as a relative nobody, all anyone talks about is her stripping. She has much more to offer than her sex worker resume.

  27. The Beautiful Kind April 7, 2009 at 3:19 AM #

    I’m so glad you feel this way. I got dragged along to see the flick, and had this to say about it:

    http://www.thebeautifulkind.com/2008/01/13/juno-needs-to-shut-her-freakin-gob/

    I don’t want Diablo to die soon, though. I want her to live well into old age so she can regret her stupid tattoos.

  28. James August 23, 2009 at 8:31 PM #

    Juno is a fantastic film. I shared your reservations, but it’s a highly enjoyable piece of cinema. As for your critique, I think it fails in its assumption that stripping is an indication of limitations females endure, rather than an additional option (it isn’t really something men can’t do either, but there’s less demand) which men largely lack. Thing is: in the present environment men don’t lap up all the jobs, they end up unemployed as well. Indeed, the “manly” professions are largely in a state of absolute collapse.

    • Nine Deuce August 23, 2009 at 8:52 PM #

      You cannot possibly be serious. When women make the same amount of money for the same job men do, when women aren’t saddled with children without paternal support in such large numbers, when women are able to secure jobs in the trades and are able to work those jobs without suffering serious harassment, then I’ll consider stripping an “additional option.” And let me break out my tiny violin over the fact that men don’t have the option of allowing themselves to be sexually exploited for money.

  29. James August 23, 2009 at 8:38 PM #

    Related, here’s Reihan taking a break from acting as apologist to the latest piece of Republican wingnuttery: http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2009/06/18/the_death_of_macho

  30. Nico_D October 21, 2009 at 7:33 AM #

    As a sort of a side note I’ve always kind of considered military service as sort of the male equivalent to becoming a stripper. Either capitalize on your body to become an object of lust or capitalize on your body to become a weapon of state violence. Granted, there are many women in the military and male strippers, but the numbers in either area are skewed. And in either area, there exists an implicit expectation that you set aside personal morality in pursuit of your environment’s goals (ie sexual stimulation/objectification or relatively indiscriminate slaughter), both fields recruit from the lower-class workforce, and both tend to throw people in the extreme of their respective sexual stereotype (over macho destruction machine or submissive sexual puppet). I dunno. Stray thought.

    • James October 21, 2009 at 8:18 AM #

      S’a good point!

    • berryblade October 22, 2009 at 1:33 AM #

      That’s actually pretty bloody brilliant. I’ve never thought of that before, but you’ve just given me another reason to hate the military.

    • isme October 22, 2009 at 9:39 AM #

      Isn’t that just saying that all jobs are by some measure, exploitative?

      And then, of course, the amount of people in the arming wanting to protect/serve their country is likely to be rather higher than the amount of strippers in their job for the same reason.

      • Nico_D October 23, 2009 at 5:27 AM #

        Fair enough. I come at the issue from an American perspective, and remember the bottom end of my high-school class shipping out as reluctant soldiers or, in rather surprising numbers, turning into strippers. It wasn’t, of course, a 50/50 split, I think mostly as we have an oddly constructed society that is a bit schizoid about anything sexual but is rather keen on violent mayhem. Still think the analogy between these generally last-ditch job stands for the most part, though.

  31. Imaginary November 27, 2009 at 4:04 PM #

    I think she should have changed her name to “El Diablo”. That would have been more fitting.

  32. isme November 27, 2009 at 11:51 PM #

    On a related note, am I the only one here who has seen “Jennifer’s Body”?

  33. Immir April 2, 2010 at 2:05 AM #

    “(Diablo Cody is)..an agent of patriarchal exploitation disguised as an advocate for women’s freedom and equality.”

    Well put. I like what syndicalist702 said about her being an ‘Uncle Tom’.

    And I liked what Alex said: “I hate anyone who uses the phrase “feminism is about choice” and rationalize everything.”
    ME TOO! They use it for absolutely everything when they have run out of junk to say X)

    Also- LOL @ Nine Deuce’s reaction to Jess

  34. lizor March 4, 2012 at 8:23 AM #

    Tracey Ullman has a nice takedown of “Juno” which bookends se2e6 of her State of the Union show. She charges that the film promotes teen pregnancy, het marriage and baby-making.

    Yeah, I know – DUH – but refreshing to see this critique in TV comedy.

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  1. advertising, fairy tales and pornography | anti social butterfly - August 25, 2010

    […] Cody‘s main claim to fame is the 2007 film Juno. I could go all Bill Hicks here and call this movie out for what it […]

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