Flomax to men: You don’t want to pee like a faggot, do you?

2 Feb

I’m of the general opinion that the pharmaceutical industry is fundamentally and systemically uncool. It’s pretty obvious that the aims of pharmaceutical companies are at odds with the general aims of Americans (and, I suppose, other people) when it comes to their health. We want to have fewer health issues, to cure ourselves of the the ones we do have, and to not have to spend huge amounts of money on drugs to keep ourselves from dying/being in pain/feeling like shit/going bald. Pharmaceutical companies, on the other hand, want us to have more health issues, to take drugs to treat our health problems forever without ever curing them, and to go on indefinitely spending huge amounts of money on their drugs in order to keep ourselves from dying/being in pain/feeling like shit/going bald. In other words, pharmaceutical companies are in the business of inventing disorders and creating drugs designed to treat them over long periods of time. Long-term treatment equals long-term profits, while cures equal dick. Anyone who believes that there’s a pharmaceutical company out there looking for a cure for anything probably also believes that there’s opium in Jagermeister and that you can get high by following the advice in the Anarchist’s Cookbook.

Enter Flomax, the latest drug in a long line of elixirs designed to treat disorders that didn’t exist before the drug designed to treat them got patented. You know, drugs like Requip, for that terrible disease known as Restless Legs Syndrome. Do you know what Flomax does? It treats a disorder called BPH, which I don’t care to research because the symptoms are fucking unbelievably silly: waking up to go, stopping and starting, going often, and, the best one, WEAK STREAM.

Are waking up to take a piss, stopping and starting, or going often really so disruptive that we need a pill? I wake up to pee every night, and I didn’t even know I needed medical help. I wonder what else I put up with that’s slightly inconvenient that I ought to be taking a pill for. Is there a pill that will make my hair so impervious to tangles that I need not brush it? Something I can take that will arrest the growth of my toenails so I’ll only have to clip them once a year? Stopping and starting has never really been a problem for me, but I don’t imagine that it hurts, or that it even really matters AT ALL.

I guess going often would be a problem if one had to find a toilet every hour or so, or at least that’s what the Flomax commercial implies. The ad features a group of middle-aged men on a mountain biking trip, their jocularity heavily stifled by the fact that one candy-ass member of the group has to stop every hour or two to have a slash. Then they’re out kayaking because, you know, old dudes love to get together in groups of 8 or so and do some extreme outdoor sports. Imagine the horror of having to pee while out kayaking! The whole adventure would be ruined! Unless, of course, you had a penis or something. Maybe the only thing about being male that I envy is the ability to pee anywhere, anytime, without exposing your ass to the cold and the public, and without running the risk of peeing all over yourself. But apparently Flomax forgot that men have that ability and invented a drug that will regulate their weak little bladders so that they only have to pee when they want to. Because a real man is in charge of his bladder! Only girls and faggots let their bladders get in the way of their good times!

But Flomax isn’t all about curbing frequent urination. It’s also about preventing the embarrassment that comes with a weak stream. Real men are powerful, and what better way is there to demonstrate your masculine animal power than with a urine stream that kicks rocks up off the floor of the forest where you’re mountain biking or kills the fish in the water below your kayak when you aim your stream at them? You don’t want Jim coming over after you’ve just peed on a redwood and saying, “Bob, we’ve been friends for a long time, and I like having you out on these bike trips, but something about your stream is making me wonder if you’re man enough for what we’re trying to do out here.” Seriously, there’s a pill that makes the stream of urine coming out of the penis stronger, because a weak stream is so embarrassing that it requires medical treatment.

I don’t mean to get on a soap box or anything, but I’m pretty sure that there are a few actual disorders out there that warrant a little more attention than weak stream. You know, stuff like cancer, AIDS, asthma, diabetes, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, etc. But then, this is the same pharmaceutical industry that has produced three drugs that allow old people to get boners and engage in sexual activity that might (and often does) kill them and has given us Botox and more baldness drugs than there are snarkily-named microbrews in Oregon. I’ll leave the interpretation to you.


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37 Responses to “Flomax to men: You don’t want to pee like a faggot, do you?”

  1. Bill March 20, 2008 at 8:52 AM #

    The trouble with weak stream for men not vanity. It is spashing your shoes and the bathroom floor.

    The ultimate Ewwwww!

    Having worked as a janitor, I would be more than happy to have set up “Men Only” drinking fountains and coffee pots infused with Flomax!

  2. Dale April 29, 2008 at 3:20 AM #

    Maybe you should stick to subjects you know about. Enlarged prostates have been a problem for men for 200,000 years, at least. I’m not taking Flomax because I’m leery of the pharmaceutical industry, but I do wake up about every hour to go pee. I’m lucky if I get two or three uninterrupted hours of sleep a night.

    Weak stream means you go from emptying your bladder just like that, to standing there waiting for it to happen, waiting, waiting. Then when it finally starts, it’s a pretty big exertion to keep it going, and then at the end it just dribbles.

    But that’s not all. So you stand there trying to empty your urethra so you won’t have stains on your pants. You have to exert a large effort on your bladder, then push up on your perineum, and then squeeze some more out. Repeat four or five times, and you’re still getting stains on your undies, but maybe it won’t be enough to go through your pants.

    And I’m only 51, my doc says my prostate is “just fine.” It’s true there’s a little manly enjoyment involved in weak stream .vs. strong stream. It’s fun to be able to really shoot it out there, and you kind of miss that when you get older. But that’s the least of the annoyance of weak stream, and it’s not nearly the main thing that makes me think about taking Flomax.

    As for other diseases, well, there is a lot of money being spent on those, but there’s a lot of profit to be made in drugs like Flomax too. Maybe the profits from Flomax will help fund research on your favorite disease.

  3. Nine Deuce April 29, 2008 at 3:22 AM #

    I know all about those problems, Dale. I’m not making sport of the conditions that men suffer from, I’m merely pointing out how weird the subtext of Flowmax ads is.

  4. AFaggot April 29, 2008 at 3:37 AM #

    You know, I find it pretty offensive that you’re implying that “faggots” sit down and pee like a girl. As a gay man, I occasionally sit down and pee, but usually it’s because my erect penis is too stiff to bend down and aim in to the toilet properly. But the real issue is that you say that men who have “weak stream” or who sit down to pee aren’t real men, and are “faggots”. If I change your title to “Flowmax to men: You don’t want to be stupid like a nigger, do you?” it sounds pretty fucking racist, right?

    While the gist of your post about big pharma making drugs for things that we never needed drugs for before, and don’t need now, IS A GOOD ONE, your idiotic ignorance totally mutes any chance you have at making a good argument.

    • David May 7, 2013 at 2:37 PM #

      Thank you for writing this letter. It saves me from writing a similar one. I, too, was offended by ti.

  5. Nine Deuce April 29, 2008 at 3:41 AM #

    Didn’t you notice that I was implying that it was Flomax that was sending that message? The commercial gives one the impression that men with bladder problems are somehow not manly enough. I was satirizing that fact. I don’t give a shit how anyone pees. Lots of the men I know pee sitting down, which is cool with me because it keeps pee from getting all over the place. Again, I’M not saying men with weak stream are “faggots,” FLOMAX is.

  6. chlorophyll April 29, 2008 at 4:03 AM #

    This was totally on Curb Your Enthusiasm:

    “Larry Pees Sitting Down”

  7. Tony April 29, 2008 at 4:44 AM #

    I’m all for freedom of expression. And the right to say what ever you please. However, in the competition of ideas between enlightened individuals your posting is bankrupt.

    “Enter Flomax, the latest drug in a long line of elixirs designed to treat disorders that didn’t exist before the drug designed to treat them got patented.”

    Totally incorrect. Flowmax treats a known condition. I would guess 100’s of thousands of men suffer from enlarged prostates. It is a serious men’s health issue. And my father used Flowmax to get relief for years before he had a TURP. Years spent getting up 3 or 4 or 5 times a night to relieve himself. Years spent with a constant sense of fullness. Years spent needing to urinate, but being unable to.

    I hardly think that enlarged prostate, often a sign of prostate cancer, and the relief of the symptoms of that is a trivial issue. And unlike your comment at the end:

    I’m pretty sure that there are that there are a few actual disorders…stuff like cancer…

    Flowmax does help men with prostate cancer, effectively deal with the symptoms of their disease.

    If a man wrote a blog entry belittling a medication for osteoporosis, you’d be all over him as a misogynist. However, it seems fine to show disdain and trivialize a real medical condition which primarily affects men.

    Instead you write as if these source of physical discomfort which hamper both quality of life and health are unimportant. is on the same level as making your hair hair impervious to tangles. How about some compassion for men who suffer from real physical aliments instead of trivializing their pain.

    There are plenty of real issues to be upset about in the pharmaceutical industry. Try to do a little research first.

  8. Nine Deuce April 29, 2008 at 5:24 AM #

    Again, have you all lost your ability to smell a joke? I don’t deny that there are conditions that Flomax treats, I just happen to find the “manly man” tenor of the commercial funny. The message is basically that having a prostate condition is an embarrassment in front of the guys, a sign that you’re not man enough to go out on biking and kayaking trips with the other manly men who can hold their urine.

    But guess what? I get up 3-5 times a night to pee, and I don’t think I need medicine for it. And guess what else? I make fun of Boniva constantly. It is actually possible to empathize with people’s suffering and also have a laugh at the fact that commercials for pharmaceuticals make the most trivial of inconveniences seem like dire tragedies that can only be remedied by an overpriced pill with horrific side effects. So, to boil it all down, men with genuine health problems have my sympathy, pharmaceutical companies that try to shame them into spending a fortune on questionable medicine to treat those problems do not.

    • Rasplanet August 28, 2009 at 6:07 AM #

      All my life, I was a huge beer drinkin fool. My buddies and I dranked beer where ever we went. It was nothin to say: “Wait up ya’ll. I gotta piss.”
      I don’t drink anymore, but I still piss a lot.(age54)
      I’ll piss down my leg before I’ll take anything the drug companies offer. fuckem. My grandpa didn’t take flomax. He took natural herbs. What’s good for gramps is good enough for me.
      Is there a definition for faggot?

      • Nine Deuce August 28, 2009 at 6:22 AM #

        You’d have to ask Flomax. They’re the ones implying that peeing a lot makes you less of a man.

  9. chlorophyll May 10, 2008 at 8:08 AM #

    Hmmm. So ladies. Apparently we can now even the playing field.

    http://www.femalefreedom.ca/

  10. Konservo May 23, 2008 at 5:38 PM #

    This video has been removed due to terms of use violation.

    :(

  11. Nine Deuce May 23, 2008 at 6:45 PM #

    Damn it! Well, you’ll just have to keep an eye out for the commercial.

  12. pinaki das May 13, 2009 at 10:00 AM #

  13. trickledownurinomics July 7, 2009 at 5:44 PM #

    I have weak stream and I sit down to go pee so I don’t spray my pants, the whole front half of the toilet, and the floor with dribble. It is like now I have the precision of a sawed off shotgun whereas before it was a sniper rifle. Then after I am sure everything has drained out and I am out of the bathroom several minutes later another ounce or so of pee drains out. It’s maddening.

  14. larry July 7, 2009 at 5:53 PM #

    I agree with you, and I am gay. Some emergency room doctor put me on Flomax because of a kidney stone and 2 days later I can’t ejaculate, and after calling the makers of Flomax I find out that if I ever have to have cataract surgery , i have to tell the surgeon that I took Flomax (stopping today by the way) because of “floppy iris syndrome” that is another possible side effect.
    Fuck this drug, and fuck the doctors that hand it out like candy because of the perks that the Drug companies give. I was handed this drug with no documentation, just “here take this ,it will help pass your kidney stone” , well i miss my jizz, and should I discover future problems with my eyes because of this p.o.s. drug , there will be some serious hell to pay.
    I understood your satire immediately, I also know the difference between being gay and being a faggot. There are plenty of “straight” men out there that I consider faggots.
    nuf said

    • Frankie October 13, 2013 at 5:01 PM #

      I am gay also – 74 years old – had bladder stones and had them surgically removed thank goodness it was not cancer of the prostate or bladder – i am peeing like a 30 year old now – and the cataract thing – i have to have that done next April – as long as the eye doctor knows there is no problem have had a lot of friends have wonderful results from cataract surgery – read up and talk to you doctor dont be foolish young or old… it happens to us all… sooner or later…it will help keep the flow steady and not contain urine in bladder that builds up stones… think about it… just saying….

  15. Wendy J Colschen August 21, 2009 at 10:40 PM #

    If you are female and getting up several times at night to “pee” perhaps you should have your blood suger tested…sign of diabetes don’t you know…we have a friend with BPH who has suffered for years with it but afraid to have the surgery because of the possible side effects. He too takes a drug to help him and he is gratefull for the help it gives him.
    I recognize satire when I see/read it…this was not satire. I agree with most of the posts here that you could have been more sensitive with your comments. I also agree big Pharma is inventing conditions in order to sell you drugs…I also agree they want the Dr. to treat the symptoms rather than the cause so you will take those drugs forever…hmmm maybe health reform isn’t such a whacked idea after all!!

    p s I am female and they are pushing drugs for “over active bladder” on us…same stuff I think.

  16. Ptrope August 21, 2009 at 10:42 PM #

    While I agree that there seem to be a lot of syndromes we’ve never heard of before, and of course drugs to ‘combat’ them, I can say from experience that Restless Legs Syndrome is real, and existed before it had a name – I’ve had it for over 20 years, and just didn’t know anyone else who did or even if it was more than just me. Sure, it sounds silly, but when you can’t sit comfortably in the evening without feeling like someone is electrifying your muscles, when you can’t lie in bed without your feet curling and your calves tightening every 15 seconds until you have to jerk your leg – only for it to start all over again – it doesn’t FEEL silly any more. And I’m sure the guys who need products like Flomax probably feel very similarly. Such things may be a boon to pharma, but they also may just be a boon to those suffering these ‘silly’ syndromes.

  17. Eirwen September 9, 2009 at 7:26 AM #

    What’s this crap about you needing to be more sensitive with your comments? This is a blog reflecting your take on what’s going on. Doesn’t really matter if it was or wasn’t satire. The point is, pharmaceutical companies are ripping us off.

    Seriously, it’s time we stopped blindly accepting pills and shots to make us better without even asking what will happen as a result. A HUGE portion of what we go through as far as our health is concerned is directly related to what we eat and put on our bodies.

    For example, I have had chronic kidney problems and stones for years until I started taking my health in my own damn hands and found out the effects of animal protein consumption on kidneys. Come to find out, anytime you consume animal protein you are stressing your kidneys. I also found out about magnesium and vitamin D. No doctor ever told me anything more than “This pill will help,” despite my many questions. So fuck them and fuck the pharmaceutical industry. They don’t want us better, they want us to pay them lots of money to slowly and painfully kill ourselves.

  18. Hank October 22, 2009 at 7:43 AM #

    FLOMAX is DANGEROUS folks. very dangerous. after taking it for two days I could no longer ejaculate. Saw palmetto is the way to go.

    • Frankie October 13, 2013 at 5:03 PM #

      I am gay and took Saw Palmetto for years it is not the thing to take maybe if you are 20 i am 74 yrs old – had bladder stones was bleeding they thought i had prostate or baldder cancer – so removed the stones put me on Flomax and voila!!! i am doing fantastic now – peeing like a trooper and any small stones just come through – ejaculation sometimes is sparse and goes inside … but it is a price you pay espec ially as you age… just saying….

  19. Alina December 1, 2009 at 4:14 AM #

    Commercials for medications aimed solely at men or solely for women are always ridiculous. Like those birth control commercials where you have a bunch of chicks complaining about how lame their old birth control is while engaging in bland generic activities.

    “Only girls and faggots let their bladders get in the way of their good times!”
    That made me laugh. Now I’ll be looking for an excuse to use that phrase! XD

  20. Immir March 4, 2010 at 8:33 AM #

    Drink heaps of water, that’ll make you stream like a horse. But then I guess that won’t help with the frequent peeing….. Hmmm, maybe it does need a drug…

  21. OrangeCanine May 19, 2010 at 11:31 PM #

    I’m looking for a pill that negates the need for shitting. So much time lost to the porcelain thrown. (shakes fist)

    As a queer, I thought I’d weigh in on the “Faggot” Hyperbole Row. I totally get that you’re playing up the ad’s implication that weak peeing is un-masculine and thus weak pee-ers are effectively gay. Gynophobia and homophobia are often employed in all sorts of ridiculous manner to manipulate the brand loyalty of “hetero” men. Right now there’s an ad on body wash for tackling “serious, clinging male odor.” Various regalia relating to stereotypically masculine activities then thud to the bottom of the shower. It’s ridiculous!

    However, I also get how the use of the word “faggot” is upsetting when coming from someone outside the genderqueer/queer community. You don’t own that word unless you’re part of the group oppressed by it. The casual use of “faggot” is a little too raw for me too. Yeah, there are some of us who embrace it and call each other fags, but not all of us do. Even fewer of us take kindly to hearing “faggot” from straight folks, allies or not. It amounts to a cis-gender, hetero man talking about sloppy, dirty “Cunts” to ironically dissect a sexist menstrual ad on a pro-feminist blog. Just a little raw.

    Stop and Start peeing is no fun. Especially when you’re bladder wants to burst, and your stubbornly closed urethra burns like hell. Straining to pee is disconcerting. I once thought I needed to go to the doctor after waking up with the most intense urge to pee and then spending a half hour on the toilet dry as a desert, struggling to go. It was surprisingly painful–like a bladder infection and constipation combined. After a few days I realized my issues were caused by erotic dreams and nocturnal (un?)emissions. (Newfangled female anatomy!) If I had to deal with intense blockage more often, I’d be pissed enough to pad Pharma’s pockets for some relief.

    Try sharing a bathroom with a guy who’s weak stream leads to nice yellow surprises in front of the toilet. Now, imagine you’re wearing socks and you decide not to flip on the lights for your bed time wee. There was screaming.

  22. Mike August 7, 2010 at 4:43 AM #

    Dale, why so hostile? you say maybe you should stick to what you know? ‘So you stand there trying to empty your urethra ‘ Since the urethra is a tube that connects the urinary bladder to the genitals for removal out of the body, it is not what you empty you empty the bladder. If you have to stand there forcing out whatever there than sit down and take a load off. So you’re 51, so what… I guess along with your weak stream you’re fight ed…..

  23. kristina August 7, 2010 at 11:32 AM #

    To all the men complaining about the fullness feeling…I get it, I really do…ever heard of a bladder infection…yeah women get them on a pretty regular basis, and guess what…it can be caused by sex…it’s maddening, I agree, but don’t act like women don’t have similar problems just because they don’t have a dick. My first bladder infection spread into a horribly painful kidney infection because I wasn’t informed as to what a bladder infection was… so without looking it up what EXACTLY is the cause of a weak stream…the point is that people need to be informed of what causes these things as opposed to treating a symptom… ND is not saying that it is not a serious problem…as a matter of fact if the only information we get is because of the commercial, it makes it seem rather trivial…if the commercial said what the cause of this symptom was, or what things could lead to leaving this condition untreated it would be taken more seriously…it’s more a punch on crappy advertising than men whining…

  24. Alina August 7, 2010 at 12:27 PM #

    nter Flomax, the latest drug in a long line of elixirs designed to treat disorders that didn’t exist before the drug designed to treat them got patented. You know, drugs like Requip, for that terrible disease known as Restless Legs Syndrome.

    I know what you going on about companies making up deseases/issues just to sell their product and that with the weak stream thing sounds ridiculous, just like the ad ive seen for “cum like pornstars” wich basically promises you to ejaculate more sperm.

    Regarding the restless leg syndrom I wanna say that Ive got it and didnt even know there was a drug to cure it, and I find it really annoying as I move my legs all the time when I sit or before Im going to sleep wich is actually quite shite.

  25. skeptifem September 18, 2010 at 12:38 AM #

    I disagree with this article.

    Pharmaceutical companies cannot invent disorders to treat. The classification of pathological problems is a completely different branch of medical science. Peer review weeds out bullshit pretty well.

    Not only that, but science isn’t a factory. You can’t put money into any sort of research and expect to get something predictable out as a product. It simply doesn’t happen like that. For example, xrays came to be out of an investigation of “hey, why does this green shit show up during a vacuum tube experiment??”, and the medical application of x-rays came about because some crazy ass scientist volunteered to stick his hand under one. Science in general works like that, we find out a lot from unlikely sources via really keen observation and measurement. Cures are a lot more complex than symptom relief from a technical point of view, but if your logic were sound then there wouldn’t be any new vaccines. The vaccine schedule would be reduced at least. Vaccines are the cheapest and most effective way to improve public health, and yet new ones come out fairly often. The HPV vaccine is a good example. There isn’t a lot of money in it either. People hospitalized due to MMR or hepatitis b would be worth a lot to em, too.

    Restless Leg Syndrome is completely real. My grandfather had it before any drugs were made to relieve the problem, and it sucked. I worked on patients who couldn’t control movement in their legs as a result of RLS as well (makes it hard to get blood out of em, or do much of anything, really). If you continually found people who had severe discomfort, mostly at night, that was only relieved by movement, what would you conclude? It seems like after a huge number of people have shared symptoms of such a quirky sort that a new diagnosis is in order, and drugs if any exist to fix it.

    The drugs made don’t work for everyone involved anyway. When I was pukin my brains out in the hospital it took about 5 attempts at different drugs before something worked for more than a half hour. The more drugs available to treat symptoms, the better, because each patient reacts differently to different medications.

    There are many problems with pharmaceutical companies, but what you list isn’t relevant. Most of the evils exist in the pricing of drugs and the shift in patents from manufacturing patents to chemical patents. Used to be that if your competition figured out a cheaper/better way to make a chemical compound they could sell it for cheaper, but now the companies own the rights to the arrangements of atoms so everyone has to pay out the ass for newer drugs. My nigel’s pills cost like 900 dollars a month. No one can drive the price down via competition because of the reasons I outlined above.

  26. sneeky bunny September 18, 2010 at 11:55 AM #

    Nicely put skeptifem. One of my lovers is in a similar boat to your partner, and it was through coincidence that it was found rheumatoid arthritis drugs proved effective treating their excruciating skin condition. However, as drugs like humera are a biologic, and no generic will ever be available, my lover was looking at 20K a year for treatment. Sux.

  27. Lutz November 8, 2011 at 8:45 PM #

    A question to Larrys post on Jul. 7. 2009: Larry, I am in the same situation as you were regarding kidney stones (and well the other thing too). I also got a FlowMax prescription – but now by reading your post I dont even want to start taking this stuff. Can you tell me if your ejaculation problems returned to normal after stopping the drug? Please let me know

  28. Sugarpuss November 9, 2011 at 12:56 AM #

    It seems as if men just can’t live with themselves unless they are able to plop down in women’s spaces, and start talking about their dicks.

  29. OutsideLookingOver December 24, 2011 at 8:09 AM #

    Had a good laugh… needed one. Thanks, Nine-Deuce, for providing the stimulus, but thanks even more, oh gender-of-mine, for jumping in all knee-jerk and failing to see the humour. Take yourselves seriously much?? Jeez, you wouldn’t recognise satire if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicho… anyway, you get my drift.

    The sincerely incensed responses were infinitely more entertaining than your original article, as brilliantly written as it was, Nine-Deuce. Sorry – you’ve been upstaged.

  30. Trod April 21, 2012 at 6:23 PM #

    Great article! Made me laugh and you’re absolutely right.

  31. dandubya September 9, 2013 at 2:16 AM #

    Prescribed to pass a 9mm kidney stone. So fucking stoked. I feel like weeping. Sure after I pass this fucker pissing is going to sound like a full blast hose in a tub. One way to cure a weak stream.

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